Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Cliche Touche

Ha ha fuck you bush, nobodies going to your birthday party now, not even lowly donald rumsfield.
That being said the Gripe sensation continues, it seems bitching about the fairer sex seems to get a reaction from all 5 people that read this blog. So I'll fucking follow up the Wise and evil John's On love and suffering yes John who updates so rarely he usually leaves a random comment to notify me he has written something new, take on the whole romance and relationship thing, of which he espoused several cliches which skillful councillours will get you to realise without actually saying them so you get all fucken defensive and pissed off that they are treating you like a fucking moron.

If you were meant to be together you still would be, or at least, you will be again: I couldn't agree more, you may have noticed my sampling of 'it's called a breakup because its broken' if your partners cheating on you there is no way you are better off with them. If you're partner doesn't love you, it takes two to tango I'm sorry but they cant just make the relationship work through discipline and effort alone.
Chances are if yer dumped there was a problem, good relationships I think can recognize these and communicate them effectively to eachother and that's where the second half of 'will be again' I don't think you gotta get in a relationship and just hope no problems ever come up.
I remember when John and his favorite girlfriend got back together and a mutual friend of ours found out she threw her hands up in the air and thanked god. Damo on the other hand said 'what they are just two losers that couldn't manage to find anyone else that likes them' or something to that effect, so you have the romantic and the cinic both represented their, I was at the time I think probably still in the throws of desiring my nice safe old comfortable relationship. But also I had observed no real pattern to the 'meant to be' part of 'meant to be together' for example one of my friends had managed to get back with his serial cheating ex in what was considered a bad move by all and probably included him. Some couples I couldn't believe had broken up stayed broken up and vice versa.
It took me much longer to realise that people with low self esteem may in fact be meant to be together, I never really compared my situation to John's because they had had a practical and as far as I could discern amicable break up that truly allowed for reconcilliation.
I had a second chance at my first year girlfriend and it became clear that the way by which we had broken up and the deep seeded reasons behind it simply made the relationship impossible and unworkable. I tried to be clever and I tried to be disciplined and resilient and strong but no matter what you can't reason your way out of being dumped by being smarter and knowing more and you can't fucking make someone love you by rejecting their rejection.
When me and my ex finally decided (final responsibility lying with her. yay!) to not speak to eachother anymore and go our seperate ways I was certainly upset but also pretty eager. I mean eager beyond drawing everything out, unlike ever before I just wanted it done. I had shit to do and realised that even though it felt like I'd come full circle in my developement it was really only half way, and I won't kid myself by saying the process is over.

You need time apart to grow as people: this I couldn't agree with more. If anything its the main point. I got the mopes around my birthday over getting older even though I'm younger than most people I know and associate with and then I realised that looking back at the past year their really wasn't much more I could fit into my life.
I've been through two name changes in less than 1 year, from tohm to tom (because I was tired of pretending to be someone I was not and needed to discover who I was) and then from tom back to tohm (because I discovered that who I was was of my own making and I had created my identity as new and complete in tohm) that double name change aside whilst a lot of me is essentially me friends of old hired by police to track me down on a friday would probably have a hard time of doing it.
Such has been the complete overhaul of my social circle, music tastes and preferences, attire, hobbies, vocabulary, work etc etc etc. My ex having gone to indonesia I always new we'd distance from eachother due to the unshared experience but I sort of didn't count on how much I can change in a year and this was following the feedback on how much I changed in 3 months directly after we broke up.
You seriously don't appreciate what you've got till it's gone, but more importantly often in a relationship the relationship becomes so much a part of your identity that you don't develope as an individual. I literally regressed back to the age I had last been single in my mind which was 16 then caught up 6 years in 3 months. Like some fucking overhaul.
Still it's a great process Shon-shon my oldest and dearest lady friend said 'in every sorrow lies a golden opportunity' it may have been a quote or some shitI don't know. As an interesting aside for reasons I don't understand and haven't consulted a doctor over after getting dumped I regained my sense of smell.
Which was a bad thing when liam left his empty pot on the hot stove for 3 hours but a good thing when Miki's scarf managed to permeate the most beautiful and fragrant fragrance in my room protecting me from the carbon stench of the rest of the house.

Damo needs to stop being a bitch: to true, Damo may be a little dead inside maybe and preoccupied with what is morrally right in a relationship which we all admit has a large grey area particularly when it comes to nutting out women's lib. Girls like anyone love attention and pampering and compliments, yes just as much as you do Damo.
As for being a bitch, you know when Morley asks for a pen and then throws it out the window and asks you for another pen and you give it to him and he throws that out the window and asks you for another pen and you give it to him to 'teach him a lesson'. yeah... you're not teaching him a lesson at all, you're being a bitch.

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