Friday, June 30, 2006

Dear Tom

I recently found a letter I wrote myself 6 months ago. It was one I was meant to hand to someone to send to me but forgot. Ironically whilst reading a book I couldn't put down I got an idea I had to write down which sent me looking for a folder and contrary to all my mothers wishes to organise I found it exactly where I left it on the floor of my bedroom where it has been sitting for 6 months, search time 1 second. How's that for efficiency.

My dearest sweetest Tom,

I aim to allow you to experience your own insightfulness motherfucker but you will have grown phenomenally in that time (exponentionally maybe) First and foremost I know you are a loving person and will have found more outlets to express your love by being more extraverted and putting in the effort to make more than token appearances at social functions. I also know in your new position you will have created opportunities for Carole, Ann, Clarissassippi and any other women that feel trod on by championing and selling the cause to ****** you will have job satisfaction. You will listen to people actively by using the non-responsive technique whenever you have presence of mind to do so and you will gain this presence of mind by acting on your own authority and setting up meetings but by also practicing meditation with discipline setting up an additional morning routine (in the evenings also but if your back to regular fucking at least showing more presence of mind). You will have fixed your posture by practice practice practice and possibly dad welding up something.
You will have pushed yourself to finish the TV project with Bryce, have it recorded and going to air . Even if you have to smack Bryce full in the face
You will be proud of how far you've come because you will have stopped the petty condescension even as you read this because that has to be the way of it because it isn't consistent with your beliefs and as such requires to much energy you loveable sloth.
You are patient because you rely on effective communication. So if your behind schedule you'll just have to resign yourself to the fact you probably can't sustain retirement anyway.
You will have figured out how to keep your mobile bill down and be still on your bike, you also wont work any overtime, you will have justified this by being productive, enthusiastic and dedicated.
Your just fucking awesome Tom
everything you do reinforces that
I don't think there's anyone
on earth I love more
remember that



Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Development in the Developed Nation

7 million Australians live alone, out of 20 million alltogether this represents a huge proportion. Divorce is excellent for the property market, my double bed itself occupies more space than necessary for its sole occupant.
Last night I went out for dinner with marc from rew. I love the man dearly and we both share a common belief and value: life just can't consist of study [work]. On the way to meet marc in town I ran into no less than 5 people I knew on the crowded rush hour streets of melbourne. While it may be true that I wake up cold in the morning I am by no means isolated.
Yet people are trapped and alienated in society, commodified by fashion and reduced to wallpaper. Volunteer work is so unpopular at my workplace that they threw a party for me. Marc corrected my disgust by saying that such a small thing meant it was valuable to others what I do and that if people celebrate it it can inspire others.
We talked about people being trapped in bad relationships and how hard it seemed to become for people to say this is bringing me down I'm better off alone.
The young people in my department don't entertain any ideas of being there for the long haul. But all to often work becomes a trap, a relationship that is abusive and meaningless and takes the best years of our lives.
The very terminology of 'Developed' is wrong to apply to our society. Or America, Japan, The EU or the Asian Tigers. We are not there and possibly never will be. Whilst we can enjoy some benifits over 'developing' nations like high literacy, low infant mortality, low incedence of malnutrition it has given way to some declines in living standards like our high incedence of depression and mental illness, correalating substance abuse, obeisity, the breakdown of the family unit.
I have often thought of development that we seem to have this mentality as benefactors that we somehow got it right, which is wrong, not enough lateral thinking is applied to say 'We could build a society not based on oil and road' technology from the developed world can be filtered to bring in those that have a positive impact. Internet should have made cities obsolete. Affordable mass public transport like the bullet train is better than building road infrastructure particularly when communities are intimate tight nit pockets where bike and foot become quite practicle to service all local industries needs. Consumption habits can change or never be allowed to be as free wheeling as these things we value.
Butan did it: They set there major progress indicator as Gross National Happiness. I myself lived a low quality life where work dominated and taxed my energy levels and I came home aggressive and irate as I did nothing to feel any sense of progress in my life.
When I lost my love and became single for the first time since October 2001 I was confronted by the stark reality of my existence. Work remains a distraction for me but it is a fun little game. I constantly try to increase my productivity at work (making sure I am learning so as to be mutually benificial) and reducing the time it takes as I take on more flavour and colour in my life outside.
It is still less than ideal, work certainly doesn't provide me with a surplus of energy to take home and do the scriptwriting, blog posting, basketball, cycling and english tutoring that really has improved my quality of life.
But here's the thing, its so unusual for that attitude that I have actually been affecting a cultural change. Whilst everyone else seems snowed under with work forcing longer hours I am finding it hard to justify being there 8 hours a day.
So what of these other people my age working there? what do they do? What do they care about, what are their dreams? I got no idea. It all seems form over function, cut and dry.
Like me the majority are single, they earn money to dress up and go to nightclub and work their way through arseholes and bitchs. Their wages dissapear on petrol, tax, rent and liqour.
They don't go to church they go shopping. They don't think they watch big brother. When having my health assessment the nutritionist pointed out that I was a thinker and how rare that was.
Why do we work, save money and try and storm up the career ladder? to be happy, to have lifestyles we want to lead.
But it is simple to say this just isn't happening. Marc pointed out about the baby boomers, are they really just going to hang their boots up for 15 years, isn't this a massive drain on society and why is work in such a state that most people wouldn't want to do it.
Most people work because they like it, report after report determines that money has no impact on job satisfaction. The highest impact are those social ones and enough stress to indicate simply that the work you do is challenging.
I almost don' know stress. A few times I might have some emotional baggage to work through and that gets me on edge but generally when approaching things I've either been too confident of success or didn't care if I failed.
It is amazing what a benificial scam it is to go out in the community and do something. It's like negative gearing for the soul. My volunteer work has made me feel worthwhile, and it means the world to the people I give my time to. I have made more friends in the past 8 months than I did in my entire life before hand.
My ex has been in a foreign country for 4 months I realised with a shock this morning, the amount of time and change and learning I've done in this brief time made it feel like at least 8 months. I'm getting double the value out of life. I realised how much I've changed (something I've refused to acknowledge previously) that I was thinking how unrecognisable I'd be to her right now.
Except that I apparently look so the same that some of the old friends I ran into asked if I was still living and doing the exact same thing that I was doing three years ago.
But everyday is great for me now. This blog probably makes it sound like I've got a huge ax to grind but I'm more connected to my city, people and the world. I feel like someone, something almost like I should have my own wikipedia entry.
I feel great.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Why are you alive?

It might feel good
It might sound a little somethin
but damn the game if it don't mean nuttin
What is game? Who is game?
Where's the game in life behind the game behind the game
I got game, she's got game
We got game, they got game, he got game
It might feel good
It might sound a little somethin
but fuck the game if it ain't sayin nuttin
- public enemy 'he got game'

I got a playlist on my ipod called 'isness of the business' named after an Arj Barker comment on how guys are different from girls, provocative & topical! I been listening to it and had crammed on a stack of basketball themed tracks.
Right now I go to work and try and find enough work to justify my being there 8 hours. I work for my company because it is an environmentally friendly and socially responsible one. I also work primarily to observe and learn. Learn the organisational structure, the politics, the procedures and the people.
Immeadiately on starting full time work I was struck by how meaningless a lot of people's lives were there.
A harsh and arrogant statement to be sure to be sure, but literally there are people who's lives consist of working in circles all day then going home and watching big brother. They threw a party for me at work because I do some volunteer work in the community have you ever heard anything more appalling.
I mean it's confronting to think these people are out there consuming for what amounts to little or no reason but possibly the fear of missing out.
So I've been designing my company, my work place from first principles. I filled half a note book and discovered that I don't really care about what it does (just as an engineering graduate doesn't care if they work for a plastic injection mold firm or a asphalt engineering firm) what I wanted was to create a workplace that people wanted to work for. And I don't mean work overtime hard to succeed or any shit. But that they wanted to come and experience like a theme park everyday. One that stimulates and arouses, provokes and inspires.
I'm not talking one that requires dress ups or posturing but one where an employee can have a personal philosophy, express themselves in the way they dress. Get exercise during the day. Simple things like playing music and art.
Maybe I've got an immaturity complex but kinder was pretty fun. I'd still enjoy it and not because I'm a peadophile but because I still have a short attention span and diverse interests.
I don't want a job I have to recharge for at night with my loved ones but one where I come home charged with energy for my loved ones. Probably the most important point.
I think of Allen Iverson and his 4 kids (including Allen II, Rasheed [for his murdered homie], and Messiah) tattooed on his body and how important it is for him. He plays a game yeah, that's his job and he gets paid more in a year than I will probably earn in my lifetime but he loves the game and can come home to be a good guy for his baby momma and babies.
Everyweekday I wake up before heading to work in a cold sweat of hoop dreams. I literally live for the weekend. Since I've been playing with short lightframed asians, almost universally 10 x more skilled than me I've been playing center position. When I used to play on cold winter's nights in ballarat I was a wimpy forward, I could chase down any gaurd on the layup but lacked the confidence to ever try and block them, do a layup, rebound, take a shot at goal etc. before switching teams my nickname was 'benchwarmer' fuck you jades!
Anyway having at least 5 kg on any of my oponents and generally being close to tallest everyweek I've been playing better. Last Saturday represented probably the greatest single moment in my life where on the rebound in one smooth motion I smacked it straight into the basket.
My man crush cheered for me and it felt better than sex. I was blushing like a schoolgirl.
So converse to public enemies I'm finding of late that basketball once a week fulfills my whole maslow pyramid. and I'm not kidding either. Yet work fulfills only my baseline needs, food security and a bit of social interaction.
So my question to all of yous is why are you alive? what do you live for? if you live for the weekend what do you do on it? what do you do to add colour and shape to your life? does the pursuit of your dreams cause you nothing but headaches? are you doing it are you reaching for those goals? or are you complaining about petrol price hikes and how much you hate michael on big brother?
It might feel good
it might sound a little somethin
but fuck the game if it don't mean nothin.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

People hurting people

I recieved this email from my friend in East Timor today, I have left their name off because I don't know if it would endanger them in any way but I thought it would be good to post it if you weren't digging the channel 7, channel 9 coverage.

Hi Tom

Thanks for saying hello, I do not know really if I am ok or not but let me
share with you some of my frustration.

I walked to the beach yesterday, looked out there, i see as far as my ayes
can see, i was thinking if i could, i want to be able to predict what will
happen to my country and if i knew that there is something that i could do
to make this country a better place for future, i will do anything to make
it happen.

I am confused of the political situation of this country. The rivalry
within leaders turns out to have very bad impact to the whole population.
It’s imaged me how the ego and the arrogance of our leaders easily forgot
sacrification of people to gain the independence of this country. People
pay the independent with their lives, mom's tears has not dry yet, orphans
are still suffering from their lost.

We are starting again another war within ourself because we all want to be
in power. No one in this country willing to obey the rule of law. We all
reluctant to play by the rule.

I must admit my friends that the political culture here is that we do not
"play by rule", even I am a criminals I am saved if i am belong to the
right political side.
Some one like Alfredo Reinaldo, could easily abandoned his barrack, act
unlawfully using guns, attempt to murder, he is freely out there.

Salsinha, who has threatened to overthrow the democratically elected
government and attempt to kill people freely out there,.
Lobato distributed guns to civilian to achieved his political interest,
long ago just yesterday they are able to arrest him.

Ramos Horta plays the game to gain the power. Horta, has failed to do his
job, he has failed to defend the government that he mean to do, he has
humiliated his own government every day on international media, he is now
named by the Australian four corners ABC news as the " darling of west".

Xanana called for alkatiri to responsible for the crisis. He forgot that he
started the ethnic issues by saying that people from west are militia's and
people from east are the independent fighter.
He also forcing the Prime Minister to step-down, his legal adviser must
have failed to advice him that In reality ( i mean Constitutionally), the
president do not have the power or the constitutional right or legally or
practically sack the Prime Minister.

Xanana has create political conspiracy by called the military commanders
asked them " what side they are". Xanana should be aware that his act its a
Crime of State" but apparently no one have told him.

Alkatiri has done many good things, success in the taught negotiation with
Australia on Timor sea, saving policy matter. On the other had he has been
accused to behind lobato of distribution of guns.

All this to me is a symbol of civil disobedience.

I do not know whats and which side is good or bad. My interest is having
peace to my children, my family and my country. I do not know what gonna
happen next.

Anyway i better let you go and sorry to get all my anger to you.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Indutstries that should not exist 1

I got not problem with face painting, it's fun and expressive and allows us as children to play into and enhance our fantasies whether we are pirates or monsters or princesses or those weird ones where you're face is a field of butterfly's and flowers. but the beauty industry should not exist - why? because it doesn't work at all. period.
I have never met a person who was on the brink of being attractive and thanks to makeup went from not attractive to attractive. I haven't seen a woman stop ageing by smearing spunk on her face yet.
Ugly people with makeup are just ugly people made up. Beautiful people with make up re beautiful people with makeup. Make up is being introduced for guys but why? throughout western history no guy has ever had to be made up. Obviously the've still been able to attract because we still have ugly and beautiful people today.
Statistical regression was used in a study to find out what made people identify others as beautiful and the key was symmetry. Yet few make up brands when I walk past that hell den of a department cutting through MYER on a rainy day are talking about making peoples faces more symmetrical.
That being said I really don't think anyone is ugly. I don't think any building is really ugly either. The key is painting and portraiture. Live models range from stradivarious women to big fat trucker blokes yet artists can almost universally capture the beauty of their subject matter.
I would love to see that beauty department were you walk through and there's a bunch of dudes in skivvies and berets teaching people how 'to find beauty' of course people like tangible products they can touch and know how much they are paying for them. So teaching people how to look at the world probably won't be a consumer hit especially since GNP can't measure it.
But seriously if you have an industry that for so long has failed to produce results, toss it. Just like the old addage: 'Why do women wear make-up? why do women wear perfume? because they're ugly and they stink.'
Guys are ugly and stink and they do allright without cosmetic augmentation. If you're a woman worried about attracting guys try just sking them out then you don't have to attract them with magical attraction.
If you want a guy like me paint your face up like a tiger or whatever else at the next party we go to and I gauruntee I'll talk to you.

Friday, June 23, 2006

On morality and being a bastard

I was briefly bought up to speed by a Persian recently. Basically there's three schools:

Consequentialism - produces two subsets which form the first two schools:

Egoism - 'Ed justifies the means' Machiavellian logic can be interpreted as 'I don't care how I achieve it so long as I recieve my payload' but I wrote earlier that this isn't a proposal of immoral behaviour as justified it simply states that with an aspiration to an outcome you interpret to be morally consistent the means employed to get there do not matter.

Utilitarianism - 'The greatest good for the greatest number' most famous promoter is John Stuart Mill but who raises the limitation of such moral codes. Good example of limitations is Nazi Germany. Basically the inverse application of the same concept as egoism where you determine what is morally consistent by observing those around you and choosing your behaviour according to the greatest number of stakeholders. Which of course gives rise to the tyranny of the majority whic in the age of A Current Affair and Today Tonight in prime time and phone in polls becomes more and more of a concern.

Deontology is the seperate third school worked heavily on by Emmanual Kant - operating out of a sense of duty, a fundemental understanding of right and wrong. Note it disregards consequences. Relying on moral imperitives and intuition for example you just couldn't kill a man in perfect health undergoing a minor procedure to use his organs to save four terminally ill patients awaiting donors

I remember in my year eight philosophy class (ah the advantages of a private education) we got given the hypothetical: you are a train driver coming into the docking yard. At the last minute you notice a janitor is sweeping the tracks (?) it is too late to brake or alert him however you have a split second to change tracks. Then you notice some kids are playing on the other tracks. What do you do?

Now my teacher just about ripped his hair out as we collectively tried to find every loop hole out of the predicament 'derail' 'sound the horn' you know and ultimately the writer of the hypothetical is to blame for leaving it so full of holes.
I think hardcore Tohm at the time said 'Kill the kids, they know they're not supposed to play on the tracks' a disciplinary code my grandmother probably agrees with. But if you observe the three codes they all can be consistent with eachother:
egoism - it feels relatively better to kill a janitor than children and probably less people to explain my actions to.
utilitarianism - I assume less people will be hurt by killing a grown janitor than three children
deontology - children are the future and I cannot kill them to save the life of another.

Although I imagine each from each school could argue cases for all the choices and I must admit I am lay in the morale schools like most of the people of influence in the world (read: I don't do anything more influential than write this poorly punctuated blog)
Infact if you are interested in ethics in the workplace take this survey to help them out. Most corportions operate on a variation of the golden rule most common response from CEO's was ethical conduct is 'what feels right to me' reassuring isn't it.

I must admit there are certain immoral behaviours I fully endorse. Eating the last potatoe gem off of someone else's plate. Drawing penis's all through someone's notebook/textbook they leave in the commonroom. Stuffing someone's glasses in your underpants while they are not looking. Grinding your ass on someone who's homophobic's crotch. The wet willie.

Harmless little things that over time snowball and do major emotional damage to the most frequent recipients.

So what's my opinion, I say use them all, fuck it why not. From various board meetings and strategic meetings and readings on stuff n shit generally the best decisions are made not by following a formalised set of moral behaviour but by considering as many stakeholders as you can concieve of, over the longest possible time frame and then finding a way that everyone can prosper.

Chief Seattle

I thought I'd leave this to an aspirational model of leadership of mine: Chief Seattle, Chief of the Duwamish 1854

'The Great Chief Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. The Great Chief also sends us words of friendship and goodwill. This is kind of him, since we know he has little need of our friendship in return. But we will consider your offer.

For we know that if we do not sell, the White man may come with guns and take our land. The idea is strange to us. If we do notown the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can we buy them? Every part of this earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every clearing and humming insect is holy in the memory and experience of my people. The sap which courses through the trees carries the memories of the red man.

So, when the Great Chief in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land, he asks much of us. The Great Chief sends word that he will reserve us a place so that we can live comfortably by ourselves. He will be our Father and we will be his children. So we will consider your offer to buy our land but it will not be eas. For this land is sacred to us.

This shining water that lives in the streams and rivers is not just water but the blood of our ancestors, if we sell you land, you must remember that it is sacred, and you must teach your children that it is sacred and that each ghostly reflection in the clear water of the lakes tells of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my father's father. The rivers carry our canoes and feed our children.

If we sell you our land, you must remember and teach your children that rivers are our brothers and yours and henceforth give the rivers the kindness you would give a brother.

The White man's dead forget the country of their birth when they go to walk among the stars. Our dead never forget this beautiful earth, for it is the mother of the red man.

We are part of the Earth and it is part of us, the perfumed flowers are our sisters, the deer, the horse, the great Eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the juices of the meadows, the body heat of the pony and man all belongs to the same family.

There was a time when our people covered the land as the waves of a wind-ruffled sea cover its shell-paved floor, but that time long since passed away with the greatness of tribes that are now but a mournful memory. I will not dwell on, nor mourn over, our untimely decay, nor reproach my paleface brothers with hastening it, as we too may have been somewhat to blame.

Youth is impulsive. When our young men grow angry at some real or imaginary wrong, and disfigure their faces with black paint, it denotes that their hearts are black, and that they are often cruel and relentless, and our old men and old women are unable to restrain them. Thus it has ever been. Thus it was when the white man began to push our forefathers ever westward. But let us hope that the hostilities between us may never return. We would have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Revenge by young men is considered gain, even at the cost of their own lives, but old men who stay at home in times of war, and mothers who have sons to lose, know better.

Our good father in Washington--for I presume he is now our father as well as yours, since King George has moved his boundaries further north--our great and good father, I say, sends us word that if we do as he desires he will protect us. His brave warriors will be to us a bristling wall of strength, and his wonderful ships of war will fill our harbors, so that our ancient enemies far to the northward -- the Haidas and Tsimshians -- will cease to frighten our women, children, and old men. Then in reality he will be our father and we his children. But can that ever be? Your God is not our God! Your God loves your people and hates mine! He folds his strong protecting arms lovingly about the paleface and leads him by the hand as a father leads an infant son. But, He has forsaken His Red children, if they really are His. Our God, the Great Spirit, seems also to have forsaken us. Your God makes your people wax stronger every day. Soon they will fill all the land. Our people are ebbing away like a rapidly receding tide that will never return. The white man's God cannot love our people or He would protect them. They seem to be orphans who can look nowhere for help. How then can we be brothers? How can your God become our God and renew our prosperity and awaken in us dreams of returning greatness? If we have a common Heavenly Father He must be partial, for He came to His paleface children. We never saw Him. He gave you laws but had no word for His red children whose teeming multitudes once filled this vast continent as stars fill the firmament. No; we are two distinct races with separate origins and separate destinies. There is little in common between us.

To us the ashes of our ancestors are sacred and their resting place is hallowed ground. You wander far from the graves of your ancestors and seemingly without regret. Your religion was written upon tablets of stone by the iron finger of your God so that you could not forget. The Red Man could never comprehend or remember it. Our religion is the traditions of our ancestors -- the dreams of our old men, given them in solemn hours of the night by the Great Spirit; and the visions of our sachems, and is written in the hearts of our people.

Your dead cease to love you and the land of their nativity as soon as they pass the portals of the tomb and wander away beyond the stars. They are soon forgotten and never return. Our dead never forget this beautiful world that gave them being. They still love its verdant valleys, its murmuring rivers, its magnificent mountains, sequestered vales and verdant lined lakes and bays, and ever yearn in tender fond affection over the lonely hearted living, and often return from the happy hunting ground to visit, guide, console, and comfort them.

Day and night cannot dwell together. The Red Man has ever fled the approach of the White Man, as the morning mist flees before the morning sun. However, your proposition seems fair and I think that my people will accept it and will retire to the reservation you offer them. Then we will dwell apart in peace, for the words of the Great White Chief seem to be the words of nature speaking to my people out of dense darkness.

It matters little where we pass the remnant of our days. They will not be many. The Indian's night promises to be dark. Not a single star of hope hovers above his horizon. Sad-voiced winds moan in the distance. Grim fate seems to be on the Red Man's trail, and wherever he will hear the approaching footsteps of his fell destroyer and prepare stolidly to meet his doom, as does the wounded doe that hears the approaching footsteps of the hunter.

A few more moons, a few more winters, and not one of the descendants of the mighty hosts that once moved over this broad land or lived in happy homes, protected by the Great Spirit, will remain to mourn over the graves of a people once more powerful and hopeful than yours. But why should I mourn at the untimely fate of my people? Tribe follows tribe, and nation follows nation, like the waves of the sea. It is the order of nature, and regret is useless. Your time of decay may be distant, but it will surely come, for even the White Man whose God walked and talked with him as friend to friend, cannot be exempt from the common destiny. We may be brothers after all. We will see.

We will ponder your proposition and when we decide we will let you know. But should we accept it, I here and now make this condition that we will not be denied the privilege without molestation of visiting at any time the tombs of our ancestors, friends, and children. Every part of this soil is sacred in the estimation of my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove, has been hallowed by some sad or happy event in days long vanished. Even the rocks, which seem to be dumb and dead as the swelter in the sun along the silent shore, thrill with memories of stirring events connected with the lives of my people, and the very dust upon which you now stand responds more lovingly to their footsteps than yours, because it is rich with the blood of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch. Our departed braves, fond mothers, glad, happy hearted maidens, and even the little children who lived here and rejoiced here for a brief season, will love these somber solitudes and at eventide they greet shadowy returning spirits. And when the last Red Man shall have perished, and the memory of my tribe shall have become a myth among the White Men, these shores will swarm with the invisible dead of my tribe, and when your children's children think themselves alone in the field, the store, the shop, upon the highway, or in the silence of the pathless woods, they will not be alone. In all the earth there is no place dedicated to solitude. At night when the streets of your cities and villages are silent and you think them deserted, they will throng with the returning hosts that once filled them and still love this beautiful land. The White Man will never be alone.

Let him be just and deal kindly with my people, for the dead are not powerless. Dead, did I say? There is no death, only a change of worlds.

Awesome Quotes

'If I'd asked people what they wanted they would have told me "faster horses"' - Henry Ford

'...the struggle for existence has become more and more intense. People who want to prove the contrary get up masses of statistics to show that the condition of the working classes is improving. Improvement that you have to take a statistical microscope to discover does not amount to anything.' - Henry George

'There is not enough kindness in this world to waste it in the giving of to an imaginary person' - Friedrich Nietzsche

'Some say a meteor will fall from the sky followed by meteor showers and tidal waves, followed by fault lines that cannot sit still, followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.' - Maynard of Tool

'Don't do evil, do good' - Bodhidharma (Daruma nihon de)

'I found it very tasty' - Nelson Mandela

'There is but one God and many ways to worship him' - Genghis Khan (or Batu)

'Life is too important to be taken seriously' - Oscar Wilde

'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it' - Aristotle

'Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.' - Groucho Marx

Thursday, June 22, 2006

One Piece

This month has been huge, and with no way to tell if anyone even reads my blog anymore I figure I'll just plough on and keep posting it may as well be a repository of thoughts for when I'm dead. Maybe someday AI will have reached a point where they can recreate me from blog postings (but why?).
Like most intelligent people in the working world, I watch TV while eating breakfast. I turn it on. Because of who my housemates are it's normally on sbs. Gone are the days were I actually flicked through the channels. Because I know it will be pandering dumbass koschie and co or worse the channel 9 imitations on Today. So I just flick one channel down to ten and watch Toasted TV. The presenters have more appeal and ironically a cartoon of such scope that it has become one of my primary inspirations of late. There is almost nothing I look forward to more than One Piece on a day to day basis. It's like Italian films versus American. I've watched very few of them but the humour, humanity, sensitivity and imagination pants American blockbusters much like the Italy v US match in the world cup.
One Piece is highly sophisticated, sensitive, colourful, creative, fantasmagorical(?) and most of all moving.
It revolves around one central axis as well - dreams. Monkey D Luffy is simultaneously naive and disoriented but is the toughest adversary on the 'grand line' and just wants to be king of the pirates. If you want to get a better grasp of the plotline look it up on Wikipedia.
But the fearlessness Luffy throws himself with complete self abandon at his big dreams I think is what gets to me the most. Gets to me as in the show becomes a vehicle that can deliver more satisfaction than anything else in the morning (you can tell I don't get laid much can't you?)
I've had a tendancy to dream big and live small. But at the same time have to take into account Hofstadter's law: 'It will take longer than you thought even when you take into account Hofstadter's law'
but recently and I thought I'd share this with you I've been feeling a terrible momentum behind me. It's almost snuck up on me by surprise in almost every way I feel like I am starting to slide, lose control in that wonderful way like when you go skiing (I don't intend to make any class division) or start riding a bike. I feel like I am coming into my own, if I can do something for you just ask.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Mike Patton & Me*

Selma: 'I was thinking maybe you and I could party on friday?'
Tom: 'Gee that sounds great...don't get me wrong Selma, you're a great girl with lots to offer...'
Selma: 'You're breaking up with me?'
Tom: 'No, no you've got it all wrong, I like you Selma it's just on friday I got an offer...I made plans'
Selma: 'You seeing somebody else?! I'm going to cut you.'
Tom: 'Yes, I mean no, I mean I'm spending my friday with...'
Selma: 'She's dead! then you, I'm coming for you.'
Tom: 'Mike Patton'
Selma: 'Oh I understand'
Mike Patton is the undisputed top of my men I would have sex with just to say I had list. When I think about that list it's longer than my list for female celebrities (1. Salma Hayek 2. Aretha Franklin 3. Kathy Bates) but there is something in common with both lists all of them are multi dimensional, they have a talent, beliefs, thinking that makes their company tolerable.
Mike Patton, is hot, masculine, exotic and irrefutably the single greatest vocalist of all time.
He's in a monogomous relationship, full of style (wears hairnets) and elusive as a lioness.
He is versatile like Musashi, but alive like Jesus and Musashi aren't. I am often asked by a manager if 'I'm sure I'm not gay?' I'm sure I'm not as Jimmy Pop puts it 'I'm not too keen on the smell of vasalene, I'm not princess di I don't wanna be a queen'I'm pretty sure I'm not. Although homosexuality is becoming increasingly attractive in the face of the bevvy of dumb bitches I get to choose from.
I get embarassed like sympathy embarassed when a manager calls me across to oogle some pictures of 'babes' from a car show or worse having them say 'ohh gee she's hot' about a girl who walks past who's actually just blonde with breasts, never mind the fact her face which is bigger than my whole head looks like it's been hit with a semi-trailer.
I don't want to sound like Jason Alexander's character from shallow hal, hotness is afterall an attitude not a dress size. What concerns me is men finding girls hot out of form, just like denying outright they find mike patton or johnny depp attractive.
It's a sad state of affairs (maybe) when you'd rather have a jam session with Mike Patton in a garage than between the sheets with the 'best' women the media has to offer.
Mike Patton's ever crossed over into modelling (apart from press shots) though I know plenty of models (not personally) who are branching out into careers in pop. It's fucking garbage the most controversial lyrics 'how dare you use me to make you rich' your still modelling bitch.
I've had a manager try and set me up with the recently discarded 'footy chick' at work. Not backing down until I moved desk and explained to him in private that I would rather have shards of glass shoved into my face.
I don't know but I think about Eric Clapton (also on my list) being 60 and out their playing guitar. Viagra is desperate but you've got Eric Clapton 'I've probably had sex with about a thousand women' and I think what's the point surely you wouldn't be coming across any new dynamic vaginas out there after the 800th. And I doubt Erc Clapton's gear really works that well any more, I certainly doubt he'd still be rubbing cocaine into the tip as a handy anaesthetic.
So there must be more to life, love and relationships. It's archaic to not have to respect the work your partner does. Admittedly I never concieve of being financially dependant on my life partner but neither should she. But as far as models go they rank number 2 in professions I don't want to talk to at a dinner party behind only doctors.
Yet just as gillette has empowered girls to be angry with me if I'm not clean shaven for them, cosmo, girlfriend and vogue have spawned a generation of dumb bitches with fake tans, enamal fingernails, bleached hair and as for the attire at least it is colourful.
Am I responsible? am I copping out of a world I helped create? women as objects? possibly, possibly it's just another cost of the majority being average. So you're hot now what? where's the feminity that is captivating like Mike Patton is captivating. What do you do? What do you believe in? Oh you drive a holden sedan to work, then you work out at the gym, then you go shopping on weekends? you can fucking forget spending time together.
Even my barnstorming ex, one of the most fascinating women I've ever met Claire went through some 'ugly' phases. In the leadup to a friends wedding I found 'footy chick' kits around her house, laquered frenched nails, brochures for spray on tans. I couldn't concieve it matching my pale angel just as I'm sure she could never envisage me in country road and boat shoes.
Even after we broke up I found her hardest to bare when she got heavy into the gym, looking hot and paint on dresses. Contrary to the jealousy I should have felt it felt more like 'maybe everything worked out for the best' thankfully she had a cathartic and pulled herself out. (in the same period I developed man boobs)
But maybe then I got this confidence from the mike patton in me. The self same attraction. Sure there's no striking resemblance, but you know with it I find a shadow of a pubic moustach sexy. Greasy hair? you bet. decking out in polyester suits and two tone shoes - settle down. Exploring vulgarity in beauty in a single breath...what could be more attractive, like a multi faceted rock that shines and turns plain in your hand as you turn it. That's what I want in a woman - at the same time it causes me to gravitate towards men.

*& dumb bitches

A game of my own

There's two actually. And how's this reading someone elses blog about game theory I actually got inspired, or influenced, or am writing about it in an abstract way with only vague references
Anyhoo hopefully my links work.
As you may know or for you Johnny come lately's may not know, Shinmen no Mushashi Miyamoto's treatise 'Go Rin No Sho' or the book of five rings has been a huge influenza on me as the italians would say.
And apon discovering a pdf file in italian of Camillo Agrippa's 'Trattato Di Scienzia d’Armes’ or scientific treatise on arms a revolutionary in fencing who used geometric principles to make swordplay more efficient.
Swordplay is of course a metaphore for everything else. Now Musashi and Yagyu Munenori both have treatises were they have Identified invincible strategies.
And I thought with some little sketches I had determined which srategy wins: Musashi's. SImply because Musashi's is more invincible.
It came down to a numbers game and I'd like to think of it as like my attempt to define an 'opposite of zero'
That is to try and be revolutionary in year 12 I thought whilst excited by the reality of doing imaginary homework for imaginary numbers I would concieve of a new concept that is: If numbers arent arranged in a straightline but a continuos circle and zero represents the point where numbers become positively so small as to become negatively small in value and vice versa then there must be a point corresponding on the circle of values where infinitely large positive numbers become so large as to become indistinguishable from infanitely large negative numbers' but in my excitement I never bothered to imagine a premis or even logical explanation as to why this is so. A theory thoroughly crushed by learning about number theory and Goedel's incompleteness theory neither of which I really understand at all.
But to put the case of mushashi's more invincible strategy it was simple. It can be illustrated by the exercise we probably all have engaged in in childhood or watched in a portrayel of childhood that we now assume ours must have reflected.
That IS: 'did not, did too, did not 100, did not 1000, did not infinity, did not infinity plus 1...did not infinity times infinity' and how infuriating it became when you could not concieve of a larger way to express the same number.
So Yagyu's strategy works on a concept of judging the distance an opponent needs to attack you and then maintianing the minimum distance needed to be not attackable and then select a time to broach this distance where you will 'cut down the evil'
Musashi's strategy in short is simply having a counterattack to any attack. Making Yagyu's strategy a subset of Musashi's. Therefore if the Yagyu attack = 1 then musashis attack = 1 + 1
unless of course Yagyu's attack = 2
Then Musashi's must be = 2 + 1
unless of course Yagyu's = n
Then Musashi's attack must = n + 1
or even = n + n
or even = n.n
or really even = n + n!
The point is musashi's game contains yagyu's and musashi's wins.
I'd draw it but i really can't. I promise I will some day.
Moral of the story: never ever bet against batman.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Mosugu teribi no kaerumono o shimashite. Consumer choices let's talk about that. I've been writing a TV script for the past 9 months now, I'm sitting on a TV script that I wrote in two weeks and was submitted to the ABC open tender period. I got a non form letter in response to that and had it pinned on my wall for several years before I packed up and left. My cowriter of more than that time has held the ball and run with it building networks, producing plays, earning rep as a professional while I seem stuck in the draft literally and figuritively waiting to explode onto the scene.
And you know I have dreams and I got faith in myself too. I firmly believe Bryce and I can be a team like Shaq and Kobe in their threepeat playoff champion run. Or as he would have it Bert and Graham.
While I jump through hoops for the man and cultivate an air of arrogant confidance, Bryce is the Shaquille O'Neal. A giant of the game, worthy of a double team even after so long in the big leagues, coming from an unassailable position where back boards have needed reinforcing since he introduced his style of play.
If we teamed up I am sure we would be unstoppable, apart from the inevitable ego clashes.
Personally I'd like to think with all the introspection i've undergone and the cathartic experience of writing again I'm more the Dwayne Wade than the Kobe Bryant.
Anyhoo you can tell how much Basketball has eaten into my unskilled posterior, what I really thought about was Mr Show.
Mr Show, Garth Merenghis Darkplace, Big Train. All shows I badly want to write, would aspire long term to be writing in their calibre. Even painting pictures that as neatly express the placenta of ideas they do. But when I watch them a malaise creeps over me.
Australia would never pay for shows like that to be made. Instead we have neighbours and more to our detriment it spins off mediocre talents like Delta Goodrem as profit spinning salable goods to crappy britain.
Similar to my bitch the other day the most likely place you would hear a sketch about a school excursion up the teachers mom's ass or a preacher declaring God king dick of fuck mountain' all whilst in the context of social commentary and clever satire. Infact the most mainstream of these shows Southpark is still a better social commentary and more thought provoking than most newspaper columnists. How do I know, because I quote it sometimes and it blows peoples minds which I can't believe. I mean you'd have to pretty much never have thought about anything to get such an impact.
Cest d'accord, I know plenty of talent too. Some talent even sweetcheeks mcbryce I worry is a generation of something as fresh and vibrant as inserting a new colour into our visable spectrum I feel are crushed into a stifling mold of TV that must not offend the anzacs.
I remember being interviewed by Deborah and some kiddy fiddler for Race Around the Corner and they said 'we want the show to be an insight into teenage lives' so long before the voyeurism of big brother we filmed a sleep over with my friends at a farm, went down the street trying to pick up chicks and the other contestants did stories from the piss weak 'homesickness' [though the more I think about the prospect of living long term in Sydney vs say somewhere sane like Bangladesh the more i think he may have had a point] to teenage suicide or death or something with equal impact, I forget. And it was real but what was our biggest obstacle? Cutting back the swearing, the timeslot demanded infrequent use of course language.
Anyone else spot the paradox? Here they want an insight into teenage lives and yet foul language must be infrequent. What do they want teenagers in school? in the school yard maybe you'll capture something resembling life but you better be able to use: fuck, shit, anus, cunt, slut, arsehole, fucktard, cunteyes, motherfucker, dicksmoker, faggot, felcher, bulldyke, feotus, gunt, cumbucket, axewound, buggery, assrape, skullfucked, rimjob, fisting, pearl necklace, dirty sanchez, donkey punch, pink sock, cocksucker, dickhead, fuckeyes, inbred, snowballing, spunk and the magical rainbow kiss.
I mean fuck cosmo sealed section right off. I heard girls craved it as the girl with the most sexual savvy was the ringleader generally. But I mean at 15 I had friends smoking pot listening to Anal Cunt's 'your dad robbed the sperm bank coz he's a cum guzzling fag' a band that's only warning on their website was that it wasn't a porn site.
Compared to anything in that, anything I wrote is really quite tame, and unclever, unshocking even. I don't think such subject matter would really spark a loss of innocence. Infact innocence isn't even that good, much better than ignorance of right and wrong is the ability to choose right from wrong.
It's why I'm nervouse around teenagers today. I dropped the f word the s word and both c words when I fell of a slide in front of my dad in grade 5. I'd hate to think how not with it I am amongst teenagers these days.
Admittedly putting such things on television creates an acceptability by the community but surely kids using foul language and disrespecting elderly people on trains has far less social cost than them disrespecting themselves and their bodies thanks to Video Hits and Big Brother role modelling (is one the product of the other?)
I mean something with a script aside from soapies has to be in some part intellectual. I mean you have to be able to use some kind of typing machine for one thing.
So I sit and think about the contents of my script, the most tame elements alude that maybe there's some dissagreeable elements about religion (nothing remotely new by SOuthpark or even Simpson standards) or suggest that someone may masturbate in a public area in a sharehouse situation. (not even scratching the surface)
And I can't rap and shit.
So why am I made to feel like I'm taking on the pentagon by making anything more offensive or challenging than neighbours (but possibly less challanging than sex in the city).
'It's not HBO, it's just regular ass tv' quips one Dave Chappelle sketch.
It seems I'm stuck with regular ass tv here. still it won't stop me writing (although this blog might instead of it) and thanks to community tv there is a network of people my age that by now is numerous and skilled enough to churn out decent quality.
So get to it, look out for the Shaq attack and Flash to the rescue. GO the white hot heat.

Monday, June 19, 2006

It's your birthday

So it isn't my birthday. What makes you so special?
I first got interested in Sikhism when I watched a day time documentary on their culture and beliefs and discovered that they couldn't shave or cut their hair. I immediately seized upon this as I badly needed to find legitimate cause to circumvent my highschools bullshit policy of clean shaven page boy haircuts. Unfortunately credibility was not on my side. People new me too well to ever believe I believed any shit.
But similarly while bored I came across the Wikipedia article on Sikh's founding father Guru Nanak whom shares the same birthday as me, or at least historians have picked the same birthday as me to apply to him. Whatever. Coincidence? Yes. Pure random coincidence and further more with the whole list of historical figures and celebrities born the same day as me (including Danii minogue) I picked him to look at and be inspired by one dreary day at work.
Guru Nanak is famous for his revalation 'there is no Muslim, there is no Hindu.' So he created another religion and ignored buddhism all together. Whatever. The Sikh are community oriented and a lot of there pillars and philosophies have appeal.
The marketer in me applauds theologians that position religions around key concepts as they make them easier to accept and digest for the uninitiated: Jesus - love, Buddha - Compassion, Mohammed - terrorism.
But I like delving deeper because while you can argue Jesus stood for love, there's millions of designs of Air Jordan's and like love is one of the best selling brands around today.
Sikh often gets overlooked though, buddhism is popular and accessable but Sikhism is not only a copulation of two beautiful religions Hinduism and Islam it also has practical and non threatening ways to go about spreading the love.
One core concept and one I would love to introduce, are the communal kitchens, where a prince can dine with a begger all free. Living and consuming together. I gotta be honest I eat a lot better at camp. Also being a young bachelor with entirely disposable income I never have small issues like 'seconds' and 'that's all the cheese we have' to prevent me from overconsumption and thinking about what resources I allocate myself thaty may infact be better allocated to others. It's simple and powerful, and I'm too lazy to cook most nights.
The more I think about having just me to look after and how I behave, which is better than most of my friends who don't save and piss money up the wall at pubs or crown casino, and you multiply that by the 7 million Austalians currently living alone and you know we may as well have just a big mountain of oil and brown coal burning somewhere to no end at all.
Guru Nanak you may have had a funny preference for yellow but I salute you!

Watch Global village, 9/10 they feature some Sikh community or warrior training camp.

Saturday, June 17, 2006


For the first time in a long time I'm actually 3 or 4 postings behind what I wanted to talk about. Coincidentally I also finished Uni for good (I hope) and have entered the enjoyable phase of my education where I start paying for it. Did you know 2 out of 5 women will never repay their HECS? Wow. But that's not what I'm talking aboutah I'm just saying in a fragmented way expect more posts.
My work has a fair few young people in the organisation and overall is a good employer compared to the average. In fact I'm lucky to be a full time permanent (as it ironically decreases my required loyalty) but with the casualisation and endemic underemployment out there I can really rest easy at the end of the day, dreading ennui more than rising petrol costs and IR reforms.
But I overheard a conversation between one of the 3 logistics staff (Porter who wrote the book on business strategy and competive advantage [2 books!] says logistics is the most critical value activity for wholesaler business) in our entire organisation (sales has double the staff and we twiddle our thumbs and shoot the shit most of the time) was talking about her job prospects and how she was looking at switching to recruitment. She'd been offered more money by a company to work in a field of which she had no experience, now I didn't say this girl was a genius and young people are more likely to equate job satisfaction with reimbursement than older people and reality. But the Managing Director apparently had turned around and said 'What can I do to keep you here?' now person in question I would have ditched a while ago to give the opportunity to someone more deserving. But it is because I was possibly ignorant of the labour market out there. Apparantly my company is desperate to keep young people in the organisation. And when I think about the fact that the business structure is based around a seniour middle management band.
A. I don't think said managers are as productive as they might think they are.
B. Our generation have been raised on a healthy fear of unemployment I thought there were six people lined up for my job behind me.
C. If I was asked that same question by the MD I would produce a list as long as my collective blog posts, I've given my needs and aspirations extensive thought and second guessed them all.
Maybe this might shed some light though?
The three blogs linked to my right represent 3 close friends all of whom have left Australia to pursue opportunities in other countries. In two months time they will be joined by my housemate who will leave Australia permenantly because he chose to do philosophy which has approaching 0 employment prospects in Australia. My other housemate is studying International Studies so I presume he will leave our* shores in the next couple of years as well.
My plan was to live and work in Japan which I went cold on because I felt my many and varied ambitions were easier to pursue here, but now I'm not sure of that. Could it be that most of the talent in Australian corporations is going overseas?
Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that it took me a whole year for my director (whom I respect as smart and progressive) to admit that maybe I didn't have to follow the standard ten year career path his generation had followed. My old manager who's relatively young went out into the field as a stepping stone not because he wanted to do the job.
Maybe it's because as a young person more educated than my managers my opinion is seldom asked. I'm lucky because I have the balls to offer it and because I look different they assume it's natural for me to think differently whereas noone else does. In fact I have one of the brightest prospective career paths at Honda and I feel stifled. I'd hate to see what happens to the other 'young people' if I left.
Yet yesterday I went to FLN's strategic planning process and was blown away (well not quite blown away I got blown away two weeks ago at their strategic planning process session 1 they just maintained the standard).
In the first 5 minutes of session 1 I was invited to join the marketing committee and work with someone as senior as my boss at work - the same thing was initiated by me at my job and took 8 months to implement.
In terms of the organisational structure I am a stake holder as a volunteer but about as low a rung on the ladder as you get (infact I considered myself more a customer as volunteering helps my esteem needs more than I help my student - I don't mean to say I do shit work, he just can't profit as much as I do). There where eight other people there my age. 2 people from my parents generation and about 8 more from the generation above it. There would be about 6 genxer's as well. No baby boomers(?)
and here I was participating in an organisations strategic plan.
So what are volunteers? you gotta understand I have come from a conservative mindset (ballarat - the whitest town in Australia!) so I assumed volunteers were full of pig ignorant good-will unproductive esteem seekers (which is why I volunteered in the first place) but it's not. They are young professionals. More likely to be tertiary educated** some trade unionist backgrounds in the middle generations and the older generation predominantly teaching backgrounds.
So immeadiately you lose all he cocksuckers who's ambition exceeds their ability and have a prefessional approach thaat gravitates around the pivotal axis of self interest. I agree with Nietzsche in saying without ego there is no motivation but profit maximising behaviour requires long term focus and efficiency achieved by thinking of others, the strongest case for most liberal mindsets are the same arguements for conservative just with a longer time frame and more stakeholders.
So could this have something to do with it. My volunteer work gives me opportunities my work does not, like trying my hand at marketing strategies, writing strategic plans. Setting business goals and objectives. Interaction with diverse backgrounds. Is it something to do with the fact that as a member who's main form of correspondance is over the internet I am actually better informed of the activities of an organisation I work for for an hour a week than one I work for for 37.5 hours (though I'm always trying to shave time off that. Not because I hate what I do but in the pursuit of efficiency).
What an isolated example though. Let's maybe take an organisation like SYN FM. I worked on their strategic plan for a school assignment expecting to find a shithouse, idealistic and sloppy vision full of youth cliches like the environment and skate parks. These did get mentioned to be sure. But structurally the plan was as sound as anything big business has developed over the years. Terminology was different (like using Mad's Sad's and Glad's instead of Strengths and Weaknesses) but in the end an organisation who's members age range is between 16-22, and I'm probably wrong about that ie younger, had produced a sound plan, workable nd if anything erred on the side of being too comprehensive and as such unlikely to be read by members and staff and reflected on. But either Bryce blows smoke up his own arse (which is entirely possible) or Syn has outperformed every KPI you or I can set for it and grown in almost every direction, ratings, revenues, membership, public events, other events, sponsorship, diversity etc. No input from older or wiser heads whatsoever. Now I've also herd stories out of bryce of people doing dumb things and causing frustration and it's same for the voluntary orgs I belong to as well. In the strategic meetings I've seen some real dumb pie in the sky suggestions that are excellent for brainstorming but not when there is no question of refining the idea. But I see such stupidity at my million dollar company as well.
Now Bryce is on a greased pole in terms of he get's paid roughly the same as me except he's top of the heap in his current organisation and I am bottom, and as I said I have a good employer with a range of employee development programs and other benifits but Bryce doesn't have to iron a shirt in the morning. Doesn't have to listen to ignorant opinions from an under educated elder generation who qualify homophobic statements with '...not that there's anything wrong with that.' which is the entire opposite of my preferred qualifier of 'fuck them faggots' the difference being neither of us mean what we say (think about it).
So maybe that's why it's the opportunities and shit that an employer offers. In many ways my good employer is hamstrung because it has to nurse the fragile ego's of the older management who already feel like a retard around technology and put more effort into achieving the same outcomes as us.
I don't know a single person my age who plans to stick with their current employer and their not really lamenting the loss of lifetime employers and pre-determined career paths.
Why can some old people really value my difference and input and others can't. Why because some just are vision impaired.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

My New Girl

Her name is Sophia, she is curvacious, in faact she is pretty much all curve. When I touch her she is covered in goose pimples and is quiet except when we bounce together, rythmically in harmony.
She is a basketball and the current obsession has gone one step further than the others. Or has it?
I don't want to be a clapped out baby boomer living vicariously through my son. I'd much rather live vicariously through myself. In fact heiho compells me to. My friend Callie remarked I get obsessed easily but while the world is focussed on Joga Bonita campaigns by nike I'm checking the nba playoffs.
It is my firm belief that if you dream big enough you'll achieve a big dream just in the attempt. This was the quote most popular with girls from my highschool for their VCE commerorative page 'aim for the moon and even if you miss you'll be amongst the stars' frankly these girls didn't aim high enough with their choice of boyfriends but the sentiment is still there.
Now that I think about it it could have been the standard editorial addition for people who didn't submit quotes.
But Sophia, oh Sophia. It is time to get personal, to get intimte with my dream of achieving a slam dunk. I'm like 5' nothing can't jump for shit, but when you check out the photos of the pros in the nba captures you gotta wonder whether their feet ever touch the ground.
I've been listening to Chemical brothers 'come with us' while cycling of late and it just puts me in the air up there. The deep galactic musical journey of raver shit seems so appropropriate to my hoop dream.
So it manifested in Sophia being the girl in my life. So what? fuck you. Do you know there are as many asexuals practicing currently as homesexuals? ('but if I'm asexual why am I such a chronic masturbater? 'is the question you ask yourself right now).
Am I really that disturbed? It's not my first inanimate object I've intimated with. Why, explain Talula my bass guitar. Nor will it be the last, I am sure I'll get round to naming the drumkit soon.
They are my girls because they mean a lot to me. Unlike the real girls I've had they don't try to change me, but ironically I actually hope they do.
See you down on the ground earthlings.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


A Quick one because I am freezing my nipples off sitting in nothing but my underwear, underwear so exciting that when this dude saw only the band of it above the waist of my shorts he said 'You are phenomenouly hot and I want to suck your cock.' Which is about the best thing anyones ever said to me in a bar. He was serious too.
Anyway organising basketball or bike riding, going to UNESCO conferences, sustainable living festivals or strategic planning weekends for the FLN, or laborious awards ceromonies for radio stations. The most amazing thing by far that gets me every time is that people turn up.
I've had weeks where one lonely student has turned up to ride with me around melbourne. And we just talk and ride around. That's it but it's yeilded powerful moments like when this dude Eric after directing him the best way to get home to Collingwood after cycling the Yarra tail just smiled at me and said how happy he was. It's like being kicked in the nuts by Jesus.
I'm a fuck most of the time, shooting down ideas and only letting those with the most stringent self belief remain in my presence.
So when I organise something as hap hazard and namby pampy as some community minded thing I can't see beyond myself to envision anyw\one turning up to support me.
But they do and it's powerful for an intravert like me to find people from nothing without going clubbing getting introduced and networking. Taking a flimsy email network and building something of people who just want something to do.
So do it. Start something, build something even if it's a sand castle and you know not a very big one with holes cut in it for candles and shit.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Aussie Bands Making the Big Time

My best friend Bryce put it best, better than anyone in the music industry by far - 'Australian bands aren't worth celebrating just because they are Australian, they should be celebrated because they are good' I think I may have already spoken about the Australian music phenomenon. On my Ipod I have two Aussie bands - Regurgitator and Skunkhour.
I listen to Syn FM everyday. I wake up to Syn FM I wake up to 1 of 2 things auto-dj or the last hour of the graveyard shift. Sometimes I sleep in too late because the prepubescent voices of the graveyard shift dj's talking ill informed shite and reading aloud text messages they are recieving from one lousy listener with emotional problems dominates the 20 minutes between thrash metal songs designed to shock me so early in the morning resulting in me turning my radio alarm off.
Sometimes though you get a real crazy weird bunch, uni-philosophy students or mechatronics students playing a weird arse mix of songs from a diverse and eclectic bunch of sources from Darryl Sommers cover of 'Why are there so many songs about rainbows' to Red Hot Chilli Peppers mothers milk classic 'nobody weird like me'
On these occasions THESE occasions which aren't rare and aren't common the grave yard shift upstages 'the hoist' in the hour where the hosts are only semi lucid, admittedly the hoist hosts aren't really any better off having most likely just woken up themselves rather than delusionally sleep deprived.
The hoist is dedicated to Australian music and it took me far too long to figure out what 'hoist' referred to which I'm not ashamed of as only the oldest of youth culture can probably remember swinging around on a hills hoist clothes line it's not really an Australian icon to anyone born into modern city living which is becoming increasingly back-yardless.
2 hours a day dedicated to Aussie musc. I hear an hour to half an hour of all Aussie music a day and I'd scratch my head to name an Aussie artist unless of course its Skunkhour or Regurgitator. I really cant, I am trying now and sorely tempted to check out the Syn website for a refresher from the hoist top ten list - I think maybe 'sounds like chicken' is Australian.
Why is it so? Why is Aussie music like this, so important we dedicate 2 hours a day airplay to it and in that you have all the subprogramming of an entire radio station itself - request day, oldschool day, top ten countdowns, aussie hip hop everything bar Aussie world music day. I just remembered another band Hill top hoods infact I've got them on my ipod I actually really like those dudes.
One of the DJ's made a passing remark on playing a female singer songwriter 'there aren't enough of those in the aussie music scene' and that prompted me to think at the time 'yeah who the fuck from these record labels is discovering *another* female singer songwriter with an accoustic guitar and thinking this acts gonna be the next big thing and break through the charts win an aria. The australian market for female singer songwriters is so saturated it needs it's own category. R&B and Hip Hop outsell all other music genres combined, a female singer songwriter on the accoustic guitar section in a record store would probably be larger than the hip hop section and sell less albums than Darryl Somers - 'Why are there so many songs about rainbows' remix by Sonic Animation.
So that question puzzled me and I don't want to pick on female artists either I can discern between missy higgens and the rest of them and Bic Runga (new zealand I know) is kinda hot which is more than I can say for Aussie Punk outfits infact the only stand out band there is the Spazzy's an all female act (but I hate their stuff).
So who is signing up this plethora of shit that I can't tell one from another even given my modest exposure. Why have so few aussie bands caught my attention since the Gurge and Skunkhour were big and that was way back when grunge was big.
It could be that I'm a loser that still lives by the grunge philosophy of no effort achievement, that's probably right but is it possibly to do with Aussies just having no talent?
No I can't believe this, and here's why in year 12 I was doing a ENTER prediction session where teachers came out with what they thought we'd get for their subject and find out 6 months early what we were expected to do better than given the teachers expectations of how we were going to do given how we'd done so far. The principle a prize cocksucker but inspirational non the less I have to admit was remarking on the phenomena that girls did better than guys at VCE he posed a similar question to mine 'does anyone believe girls are smarter than boys?' no one did. Same question different answers same issue.
Australia has produced one boundry pushing bass player in the form of Red Hot Chilli Peppers' bass player Flea. Infact by most accounts Flea is the second best bass player in the world and by far the most popular. Compared to flea Australian artists have struggled to make an impact overseas the most notable exceptions being Silverchair and recently Jet (and yes Savage Garden and the Wiggles too) but none of these have enjoyed the fame nor been as influential to upcoming generations of artists as flea, they had their day in the sun and faded or changed into something else.
The difference is Flea grew up in the california bay area, THE area for alternative rock a risk taking music industry where flea goes to school with anthony keidas who goes to school mike patton of faith no more who takes on support act primus headed by frontman Les Claypool (#1 bass player) who went to school with Mettalica's Kirk Hammet.
Melbourne is one of the best gigging towns in Australia and you may see the next jet or you am i or any of those not quite anything rock bands. Chances are if you saw a band singing a metal composition with vocals about anal fisting you wouldn't be in australia right because Oz hasn't produced any weird arse bands like Frank Zappa, Pink Floyd or Tool that have changed the way people think about music, created new genres or taken dead ones and reinvigorated them.
So are Australians just genetically deficient in the talent department. Our higher brain functions cant handle a drum kit like Danny Carey? cant play guitar like frusciante? cant slap a bass like Claypool? its bullshit infact of course we should be because support of the Australian music industry has only really taken off after baby boomer Howard grabbed triple j's balls and took the Oz music show from a once a week 3 hour special to 2 hours a night and cut into the request fest which had been shit for years - ie taking away a program that allowed youth to decide what they wanted to listen to themselves and forced them to listen to oz music a strategy that wouldn't work if at the time Triple J had any formiddable competition. Myself I just stopped listening to radio altogether till my best friend started running a station.
Anyway for those artists that went to sleep listening to 'It's time to pick up everything and put it away' or possibly stayed on listening to mix up or the three hours of power we've been inspired by the worlds best. It's just I never got dedicated to bass and joined a band but I wouldn't be playing punk if I did.
And there's the key I just wouldn't get signed.
If I didn't play the same old generic crap no risk averse australian record label would actually sign us, them whoever all the talent out there artistic enough to push for something different. They wll scramble to sing up girls with accoustics and aussie punk outfits with less raw talent than the sex pistols but none of their vision and creativity.
The frontman from the Black Eyed Peas was so outraged by the industries neglect of the innovative talent in the unrecognised australian artists he now will live in Sydney for 6 months each year to sign up this neglected source of talent.
Why would someone aspire to be daniel johns when they could be hendrix? what happened to the Australian bands of the 90's that I could recognise and tell apart, the tisms, liquid, primal scream, beaverloop, frenzal rhomb (okay we know what happened to them), custard, super jesus, skunk anansie, pangaea, spiderbait etc. quantity has increased but not quality. Some of these artists still outsell the next big things in Aussie music in the entire post Living End era.
Wolfmother I salute you, you and the hilltop hoods. The rest well if I knew who you were because I could tell who you were when I heard you on the radio, I might care. Right now the Aussie music scene seems to be the sad Sydney bandwagon mentallity of trying to imitate the world by getting excited about local celebs that don't deserve it aka James Packer, the former host of My Restaurant Rules etc. But think what the music industry could be if our record labels where signing up all those crazy friends we know who have a weird perspective more inspiring than 'hey rollover dj' I mean roll over beethoven was a pretty shitty song to begin with.

Makin' aint easy

What happened to Kriss Kross? Kriss Kross where awesome. They were awesome. They were totally Mac Daddy. They made us all Jump. They made us all jump jump.
They really had it all going for them on their powerful number one hit with a bullet:
It had mac daddy, daddy mac, self validation lyrics like 'don't try to compare us to a little fad...' so ironic so kool. They had wiggida wiggida wac.
No other rap single has so universally captured everything so true and real about Rap and Hip Hop than Jump. I remember when my brother bought the Totally Crossed Out LP he played it non stop until I hid or destroyed it. Fact is first thing tomorrow I'm gonna get my arse down the street and buy it.
Let us all remember Kriss Kross.
I doubt channel 7 will do a where are they now thing on Kriss Kross, if you google it though you can see what bad asses they grew up to be.

Friday, June 09, 2006

'Sposed to do that

Chris Rock says there is a race war going on in America, between Black People and Niggers. Eloquently summarised by a prospective audiance member heading into his never scared show as 'He says there are black people and niggers.'
Irrelevent. But the arguement Chris puts forward is that the sub class of black americans letting the team down get proud of shit that they were supposed to do anyway like 'I look after my kids... You're 'sposed to do that what do you want a fucken cookie.'
I thought of this as I started reading the intro to 'Please just fuck off it's our turn now.' seldom have I picked up a book that has got me so angry I've wanted to jump up during the opening paragraphs and punch a Malaysian in the face.
I been playing basketball of late, you know the man crush and all that. The book deals with baby boomers putting a strangle hold on the resources and channels to progress to the next generation, the title adequately reflects what you'd say to a team that hogs a basketball court or ay form of play equipment.
Books don't get me angry when they are wrong, I've laughed at more Awake! jehovahs witness mags than I've gotten angry at. I get angry when they are right. I don't have enough love of the human race to get angry at social injustice either. Just personal injustice.
This book strikes a cord though because I was involved in a Young Leadership Award camp that is a feather in the cap of Rotary international. Rotary are an old organisation who's young members are 45. They are understandably proud of the RYLA project and happy to make it possible through their support. But thats the thing.
I've been involved in Youth Council in ballarat and other smaller youth initiatives. Youth forums and yes the majority of youth have not much more to offer than suggesting a skate park. But the majority of people are dumb anyway it has nothing to do with the fact they are young.
Most adults have nothing more to offer on the meaning of life than 'Buy a house, then buy a rental property.' an idea as cliched and as unexciting as a skate park. At least the skate park promotes exercise rather than watching TV. Particularly watching Tv shows about people living in a house without a TV.
Rotary are proud of something they are supposed to do which is pass on some of the resources you accumulate to the next generation. In fact in order for progress to be made you need to pass on more resources than you had to the next generation.
The Youth Council was an organisation that involved 1 full time employee and the city council were proud of twice a year.
I recently went to the strategic planning weekend of the Fitzroy Learning network and everything was in balance. There where some old heads there and more young heads and EVERYONE GOT CAKE. more to the point everyone was involved in the discussion, could contribute to ideas and the company could move on.
My work on the other hand... the other day I looked around most of the old heads were people that came to it as part time sales staff 20 years ago, which makes it fairly young. There's good points to it. but the marketing department for one is made up of this staff with no marketing qualifications. The whole department probably came about from someone somewhere down the track reading an article about marketing departments. There knowledge and expertise has probably come from finding ways to spend money.
As such advertising adgencies have done all the brand building and made some classic marketing mistakes.
In the sales support department there are now 4 marketing degrees. In the marketing department there is 1. Why has this happened? because the older generation can't trust the young people with the resources. To its credit if you speak up you are heard and all that shit. The problem with the marketing example is that 80% of marketing graduates can't explain what Brand Equity is - regardless of institution. 99% of advertising graduates couldn't explain it but do say it a lot which reassures marketing graduates because they know they've heard it somewhere before but are not sure what it means.
But enough of ripping on my past time of the past couple of years.
My company like a thousand others in Australia has a big problem, in ten years 70% of it's management are going to retire. Because they are all baby boomers.
Baby boomers decide through sheer market power, what our government cares about, what we watch on every channel, what we listen to on the radio, where and how we shop, what technologies are available to us and how much shit we swallow.
This book in cutting through to the bone gets me angry on a level as profound as Wild Swans a pretty faggy book to have read but a worthwhile read.
In wild swans I laughed because in the midst of Mao Zedong's cultural revolution and mass famine that killed more chinese than the holocaust killed jews Chinese people thanks to controlled media said 'times are tough now but at least we're not in America where capatilism is in control.' Similarly to think about we think we are an important country, when was the last time Australia got mentioned before Spain in the coalition of the willing on foreign press coverage? we think we are the lucky country, what industries are we leaders in the world at? we think we are the sporting nation of the world? how many American swimming "stars" can be named by an American. Fuck baby boomer mentality is so old and outdated Graham kennedy is still ahead of his time, his first season of IMT reruns are more entertaining than Rove.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

You Probably Can't

TV can be underrated. I was watching Southpark last Monday in which the 'Earth Day Brainwashing Festival' was taking place and the Earth Day organisers kept using a Jedi mind trick any time they made a point or statement about the environment.
Now I have been to and enjoyed some great events like the Sustainable Living Festival which to all extents and purposes was a trade & lifestyle show.
The episode culminated in Stan or the other one yelling 'Run! these environmentalists don't use reason or logic!' it was one of those artfully crafted poignant comments that struck me blind. My boss at work has said often 'They are exactly right for the exact wrong reasons' not referring to environmentalists or any particular group but it made me think that out there in society there are people that are right (without wanting to get into a shitfight about what right is) but there passion and enthusiasm is detrimental to their cause.
Probably the best example of this is the Church. There is nothing proposed in the fundamental philosophy of Jesus that is detrimental or offensive, everyone could probably benefit from getting some Jesus into them. The problem is the enthusiasm of the pre existing pro Jesus institution unintentionally forming a barrier.
The Church isn't cool, it never was and never will be. Great guitar skills can make a person cool and impress chicks but equally a Christian flavour can make great guitar skills unchool and fails to impress me. Infact when I've obligingly gone to upsetting Christian Youth "information sessions" that generally upset me they have often opened up with a Guitar Rock ballad about Jesus giving his life for my sins (not Jesus' philosophy by the way) and I find myself sitting amongst asian kids with there hands in the air and their eyes closed thinking: 'I would rather have my balls sawn off with an old school razor than be here right now'
And it works in some cases, generally in two cases Isolated students coming to study from Malaysia and the Hillsong Christian Factory is unfortunately the closest thing to a good time they can find in these foreign surrounds. And dudes who convert for the sake of a girl.
But the point is energy and resources go into this strategy and it wins over nothing but the converted. It isn't really succeeding, the biggest threat posed by hillsong is that Charity Organisations and Churches will get taxed on their profit making activities (hillsong are being investigated for pocketing Charity funds via administration, the Jehovah's witnesses own Sanitarium and red rooster or some shit*)
Athiests aren't finding Jesus left right and centre due to this strategy, it would be nowhere near the slow and steady rate family units are going agnostic and church attendance drops.
The second poignant example is Environmentalism (which has a brighter future than institutionalised religion) there are strategies that just don't work and shy off people that probably quite like the environment. When people want to see systems and strategies and programs and businesses (which are growing) they have traditionally been met with poor hygene, passionate speaches deviod of reason and calls to action deviod of planning and even clear starting points. More and more effort is getting put into strategies the 'enemy' has learnt to ignore. I see posters every day reacting to every headline in a newspaper calling for a 'day of action' using melodramatic language and I see fewer and fewer groups actually turning up to these things.
From the point of view of say a CEO of a logging company, or an MP with some input into Environmental folios I do what? I look out my window and see 20-30 people protesting something with some off putting graphic pictures hanging out on placards. Maybe even a burning effigy of John Howard. I have two choices 1. Call the police if I can be bothered/have to get past them to get to my car. 2. Close my venetians and get on with my evil plan.
I used to have these fanatics corner me all the time in first year because I had long hair, ironically at that stage I cared less about the environment than I do now but had been a fan of Captain planet. I always came across plenty of passion, energy & enthusiasm and new that this person would never succeed in anything but alienating her cause and eventually jump off the band wagon.
For what is a fanatic? Someone who has a deep vested interest (esteem or ego needs) and low understanding of the broader issues regarding this interest. It's a common trate that nows no race, colour, creed or social standing. At work I have fanatics for overtime. They work overtime. Some fucktard the other day asked me why I was leaving already. I said 'it's 2 past 5 I've already worked overtime' you talk to anyone who loves working overtime about how economics bears out no relationship between productivity and extended hours. Within the G8 contries with lower work hours outperform countries with longer work hours. Its a fad a fashion inherited from wall street and Japanese fuedal culture with little substance. If you really want to upset an overtime fanatic just say 'I don't work overtime because I don't want the boss thinking I can't efficiently finish the job in the hours they set me.' or something to that effect. It really upsets those fuckers and what's more its true. These poor fools donating their time thinking it would advance their career are doing themselves a disservice. I would have to say from my experience I'm struggling right now to justify staying at work 8 hours/5 days a week. I can get through most of my work in time to spare.
Other work fads that generate fanatics are professional attire, meetings and weekend work functions. But more to the point the 'Can do' spirit is useless if the task just Can't be done. My whole philosophy is infinite human potential, that infact anything can be done. It can be even the normal probability distribution curve allows for infinite possibilities (though with infintismally diminishing probabilities of them occuring). All things are possible. But some places just can't be gotten to using some starting points or some strategies.
Example 1. You can't ride a bike (and bike only on the natural surfaces of the Earth) from Melbourne to Paris, France.
Example 2. You cannot be the best company for every single product in the world.
Anyone trying to achieve these outcomes could with enough effort. But phenominal effort. The first one would involve riding the bike into the ocean and then hoping your body could physically endure the hopefully favorable currents that would drive you over some weeks into the African or Asian continent and then ride the west of the way on a fully oxidized bike to Paris.
The second can be done by becoming the best company in the world at one product then aquiring a company that is best in the world at another product with it's own branding and infrastructure and slowly aquire company after company until you own the number one brand in everything.
Unfortunately managers with the Can do Spirit take on a brand say Rolls Royce 'The Rolls Royce of Automobiles' and then say Rolls Royce are now in the guitar business. And this manager makes plenty of passionate speaches, spends up on product launches, makes more passionate speeches, offers sales incentives for Rolls Royce Guitars (they may have had a shot if they'd called it something else but the company knows Rolls Royce means the best and the best Guitars are Rolls Royce guitars) in the end for all the can do spirit of the Manager they end up making only one big sale before the project packs up and for all the energy and resources put into achieving this classic case of ambition exceeding ability no trees have been saved and I am stuck listening to some fucktard playing his uncool rolls royce guitar in a Jesus rock ballad in their efforts to convert me.
For the record I imagine Jesus himself if he lived in our age would be a pretty awesome shredder on the guitar.