Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Hygene Theory

Is there anything I dislike more than some uppity pussy turning their nose up at some food or balking at using some utensil or camping aparatus for fear of microscopic germs.
I heard at a recent dinner party some dude had a sister who brought out her boyfriend from another country and the dad threw a BBQ party for him and offered him a sausage and he said 'Can't eat that its burnt, carcenogenic' and the Dad, rightly in my opinion decided to dislike him forever.
I've also seen a dude on Nerds FC when taken on a camping trip ask if the nozzle on his sleeping matress has been sterilised, to which he was lied to when the response was 'yes' he then couldn't believe that it had.
We are talking grown people here, people beyond the whole 'boy germs, girl germs' age of 6.
People who wont eat stuff off the ground, are horrified of having to touch a toilet seat to put it down, couldn't imagine anything worse than a kid playing in mud.
All this bubble wrapping is producing highly strung, socially awkward people of no use to society in general.
The only germs or microbes I've ever heard doing serious damage to anybody are the ones in Hospitals what eat your flesh off your bones. Because Hospitals are so sterilised.

*and occasionally from Bay Marie's in dodgy businesses, but what's a couple of days watching day time tv between friends.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Lately I feel like Kobe

I'm glad Kobe has surpassed Lebron, apart from the whole alleged forcing himself on hotel staff incident, I never really understood why Kobe get's backseat to Lebron. A guy who is potentially great seems to take precedence over someone who has maximum game.
So anyway to qualify the subject heading I don't feel like Kobe in that I don't feel an urge to have extra marital relations with people who don't necessarily want my loving. No I'm referring to Kobe's wonder week racking up 4 games in a row with plus 50 points breaking that run on the 5th game with 43 points. Now when an MVP can score average ppg of 25 (or in Steve "Nasty" Nash's case 19) that's a phenomanal run.
So when I say lately I feel like Kobe, I mean I don't know how Kobe feels, I mean it could be anything from the bored elite 'business as usual' to the pig ignorant lotto winner 'god is moving me from a dimension beyond my understanding'.
What I feel like is that I am racking up performance milestones, like I'm stronger than ever and resistance is just dropping away.
I don't know if anyone else has ever fallen into this good times zone but If I had to guestimate the coordinates of it's origins I would say self respect.
I think for me it always comes from treating myself as my numero uno competitor. Just as I try to bury the tohm of yesterday, i try to make it hard for tohmorrow to surpass me now.
If only I was good at something that pays as well as bball. (if you make it)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Sad Day

Some point 8 months ago I was going to sleep, which I have done many times since however, on this particular occasion I stumbled accross a pile of garbage intermixed with clothes and leapt over my doona which had been left awkwardly the last time I got up. I then read a bit and put my book down on top of an old cereal bowl that now contained my mobile phone.
In doing so I knocked a pile of change onto the floor and like a crystal bullett in the forehead I realised

I cannot look after myself.

I'm incapable, or rather inept.
I also realised at that time if I was going to be dating again I had to do muchos mostest to actually transform my room into a place I would be willing for a girl to see.
It was a lot of work, infact the ratio of time spent cleaning up a room to time spent making a tidy room messy must be something like 80:1 yet a messy room stays messy and takes a long time to get messier so why ever clean anything up?
For at least 3 months now I have been relatively tidy.
But the point is I have met people that find this task, real real easy.
The overwhelming majority of these people are girls, girls who can look at two shirts of seemingly the same substance and say: that one is clean, that one is dirty.
Men who are neat I should qualify as not finding it easy, they usually are hardcore disciplinarians with repressed matricidal tendencies.
Anyhoo mayhaps the import is the reaction to the words neat and dirty.

Maybe some people actually read the sentance this way:

Anyhoo mayhaps the import is the reaction to the words neat and dirty.

But I would read it more like this:

Anyhoo mayhaps the import is the reaction to the words loser and fun.

Is it any wonder I throw tantrums cleaning my room.

I don't want to be a loser.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Top Ten: Misakigo

1. Sewiously
2. Fresh Begetables
3. I habe a question
4. Its become my favorite
5. That-a why?
6. Carbohydro
7. Seep (Sheep)
8. Puppies underwear (actually talking about Paul Pierce)
9. oh my gosh!
10. Gorgeous

I mean she can think I'm picking on her english, but I'd be so dissapointed if she lifted her standard to professional, she'd probably become a boring individual if she spoke, well not like me but someone else.
missing you petal.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Real Job Pt.1: Win-win

I thought I'd dedicate some time sharing my thoughts on why it may be good to go work for a souless corporate entity.
I think many people work on behalf of mortgages, and work towards ambiguous and thoughtless financial goals, not because they are stupid or imoral but simply because determining a purpose in life is clearly quite difficult.

"Win-Win: One of four outcomes our company provides, the others being Win-Lose, Lose-Win and Lose-Lose."

You can only go into business if you be making someone's life easier. That is ethically, obviously there are people who go into business, that parasitically leach resources out of the community (Win-Lose) who sacrifice themselves unsustainably (Lose-Win) or run a company into the ground through sheer incompetence (Lose-Lose).
The last kind being normally reserved for politics.
But Win-win is the fundamental belief required, tat you can benifit other people and mutually benefit yourself - it really is this belief that makes profit and value possible.
Value occurs when you apply your expertise to a problem for someone else who pays for this solution which covers the cost of your efforts and then some.
A person will only pay that bit extra if the solution is of value to them.
And that's where win win occurs.
Of course a sentient person can also wring intensive value out of a joint venture that may have occured in error.
At any rate as Musashi would say meditate on this in depth.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Darkplace returns

Darkplace, a show close to the greatest show ever is coming back soon.
Thursday just got it's flavour back.
SBS if you can.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Michael Jordan Goes To Hell

"Let me introduce you to my main man Brett,
He is smoking what is not a cigarrette..."
- Salt 'N Pepa - Heavin and Hell

Indeed it seems to be seeming that S&P defined hell as the ghettos in which there community is expected to survive and thrive. Infact they combine both paradise and damnation into one tight package.
There are no generally agreed specifications and dimensions for hell. Which really you know all it needs to be is the unpleasant alternative to Heaven, you know like a production line, or an eternity of having to sit next to a talkative old person on a tram, or just a room full of mosquitoes. Anything annoying when multiplied by eternity would infact become unbearable torture. One would think.
Maybe just people in a queue talking ignorantly about a band you like. Or talking passionately about a band you think is overrated.
Or just teenage girls talking.
Anyway the point is you wouldn't have to do much when talking about eternity to make hell extremely unpleasent.
Yet most church groups rely on vague terms like "the worst place you can imagine" if you grew up in the country that's probably the dentist.
If you watch lots of anime from Japan it's probably a lot worse than the Catholic church can imagine. (although presumably not much worse than what the inquisitors used to do to fellow human beings on their god's behalf).
But you know this definition is really the weakest, its quite hard to imagine some place without then realising with certain self admonishment that it doesn't work that well.
Straightforward: Lake of Fire. Burn in hell for eternity in a lake of fire. I mean it's impossible to really concieve this as punishment from a mortal perspective, simply because there's only so much pain a physical body can take then it shuts down. If your mind shut down because it was being roasted in inconcievable agony the experience would probably be akin to the athiest concept of the afterlife.
But supposing if the "afterlife" is different and one's threshold of pain is increased so one doesn't pass out. I imagine you feel pain, you feel pain, you feel pain, pain becomes boring and your mind starts to focus on other things.
Like moving from one climate to another, humidity makes it hard to breathe. Heat makes you sweat doing the simplest tasks and cold puts you to slip or makes your nipples go hard.
Anyway the point is if you are conscious to experience pain, and the feedback is useless (ie cannot alleviate the pain) then most likely your conscious is going to get over it and work on other things.
So we find ourselves in a game, to make pain and suffering of any use (as pain and suffering) there has to be ways to improve or reduce your situation on the pain and suffering front.
Furthermore this ridiculous dimension of pain is supposed to operate for eternity. Therefore Economics don't really apply because it would seem you have an infinite resource (time) and economics is based on the belief that relative to our needs(/wants) resources are limited. But if you had all the time ever (so much time, the concept of time became irrelivant) your potential would become infinite.
So say you take all the concepts of hell that various nasty individuals have imagined over the years and rolled them all up into one mega hell and then multiplied it by the largest number you can think of and...
Michael Jordan would still trounce it.
Think about it. Put someone with michael jordans work ethic into a hell even worse than has previously been concieved and give him an eternity to triumph over it and give it 10,000 or 100,000 years and he will triumph. Through sheer unshakeable resolve.
He'd push apart those mountains. Chew through the shackles holding him down and wring the buzzard that pecks out his livers neck. He'd dunk the giant bolder down on the apex of the hill so hard it wouldn't roll down the other side.
He'd recruit a reliable center and a swingman of similar ability to Scottie Pippen, maybe even put together a dream team and be simply unbeatable.
It may not happen overnight, in fact if hell does exist I'd be surprised given the time the tennents have had (6,000 years mayhaps for the one's that first made graven images) that I'd be surprised if it wasn't hospitable by now.
It just doesn't work, unless it works in ways so mysterious as to be inconcievable and thus not worth wasting your time worrying about.
So stop praying already, if you indeed have an afterlife, you've got plenty of time anyway.

Monday, March 05, 2007


At the bottom of this post I have attached a newsletter I recieve every month from a faith group having just finished reading "Letter to a Christian Nation" I think I can't go back.
I was priveledged to have a chance in life to discover how wondrous the world around me is, I only had this chance because my father when he was 6-8 years old realised that religion was in essence all bullshit. When I was taught "Religious Education" in Primary school, of which any one of a religion other than Christianity was excused (at a Public School no less) I could never really get into prayer. When I prayed there was a distinct absence of anybody responding.
I was fortunately aware as too few are too late, that there was infact a choice, to accept or reject god. My parents said "do you believe in God?" you could choose or not choose. There was some confusion because my parents also wanted me to experience the magic of Santa and the tooth fairy but overall I would have spent almost in entirety 10 weeks believing in God.
But something else happens when you look at Intelligent Design, possibly the most significant advance in science for centuries, possibly bigger (shamefully so) than Einstein's theory of relativity. Because religion by imposing on the territory of scientific process invited science in like never before to have a look.
I'm not going to explain the far reaching implications of intelligent design suffice to say, on cursory observation points out how ridiculous and more to the point useless a belief in God - (amplified for belief in a specific god) is.
Therefore I wish you to know that I will afford no special respect for anyone's religious beliefs and practices, it's a waste of my time and energy and I find it personally offensive because of the impact it has on the world I wish to live in and reproduce and alleviate human sufferring.
If on the other hand you want to waste a lot of time and energy protecting a lot of suffering and misery that goes on in the world check out any of below (except earth hour it's an environmental cause and has nothing to do with multi-faith subsequently sounds pretty good):

Well, the March events have been pouring in – there are almost as many here as on the calendar! I hope you can attend something:

Yoga classes (Weeks beginning 7 Mar) Hindu
Short Course on the Song of Songs (13 Mar) Jewish
Women and Human Rights in South Asia (14 Mar) Peace
Jewish Holocaust Museum Public Lecture (14 and 21 Mar) Jewish
Workshop for Birthing Mother (15 Mar) Jewish
Black Harmony Gathering (17 Mar) Koori community
Workshop on Spirituality and Social Justice (17 Mar) Christian
Jews, Shoah and Genocide (18 Mar) Jewish
Pastoral Care Meeting (18 Mar) Muslim
World Meditation Hour (18 Mar) Brahma Kumaris
Continuing Education in Ministry (19 Mar) Christian
New Moon Gatherings for Women (19 Mar) Jewish
Birth of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) (30 Mar) Interfaith
Nomination for the Young Muslim of the Year (30 Mar) Muslim
Earth Hour (31 Mar) Environmental Peace