Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Movember

A mustache is a very hard thing to hide. I feel it is nothing that needs hiding. A mustache is man's ultimate accessory and all I've wanted for a long time is a sweet sweet mustache just about the sweetest mustache in the world is Ken Watanabi's:

But alas I grow some red hairy thing on my upper lip. It sucks but it wont deter me from participating in the event I have been more excited about than Christmas and my birthday combined.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Salt 'n Pepa

Believe it or not when I was like 8 I found the confronting lyrics of Salt n Pepa gratiously distasteful with their mainstream hits like 'Shoop' 'Push it' 'Whatta Man' and 'Let's talk about Sex' now since around that age I had fallen off a slide plying cricket (?) with my dad and dropped the 'f' word, the 's' word and the 'f'n c' words I'm pretty sure I knew what sex was and the attractions between women and men even iffin I didn't know the secrets of santa yet.
Anyhoo I thought it hilarious if I had a little salt n pepa retrospective on my ipod and I gotta say that crew is illmatic, get down to a fucken store and slap down the $3 to buy a copy of their albums. Slapping skins, getting freaky, yelling like a retard, they capture all the beauty of 'the secret garden' I could even believe they are somewhat liberationists. I've read female chauvinist pigs and those girls lay down exactly what it takes to pleasure them.
And if you disagree with me, well you can just step.

for posterity

For some reason I been getting some gold fucking sms' of late that now that my phones memory is full I am hardpressed to delete. Alas I have to or my phone becomes useless, mind you I'm not sure what the radiotion does to my ball juice anyway maybe I should throw it away.
Anyhoo here's some of the contenders:

miki - Oh! the master of cat walk? His way of walking shaking butt is the top of the world. I'm so proud to get this number! Lucky Micky :-D

liam - Hombre, i'll be there at about two thirty. Try not to break the ring with some massive funk before I get there.

stacey - I have (that is to say, eaten rotten fruit from a shitty tree)...mmm, num num

#2 goes to one of my favourites from BCC though...

rowan - Fireman hats you fucking idiot...

the winner though goes to el tigre my number 1 favourite person from BCC:

andrew - Did you sign me up 2 a homo-erotica web site? If my girlfriend calls you, tell her you did it. I beg of you. I will not take the fall for this. I'm too fragile right now. Love pandy xxxx

which I got randomly in the middle of the day one day.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Sun Also Rises

Sometimes when you go into an op-shop there's just an article of clothing waiting for you. It's the appeal of the op-shop really, its that experience that first 'op-shop find' where you just find something you cant belive somebody threw away. I got a silver belt made in Italy from op shop finds. Three glorious pairs of cut off shorts and a lot of my best underwear is pre-loved.
It's just a connection, and its similar to the pick up scene except the pick up scene is a lot harder. Anyway last saturday in the midst of the party weekend tohm was sitting on the rack for a price described by the purchaser as 'wow! that so cheap' I just rocked up and after being introduced as 'the weirdest guy at Honda' a made a few of my usual racist slurs in response to perfectly reasonable introductory questions and it was off.
The comeback of course was my old manager decided to buy me a drink because he wanted 'to see the loud drunk obnoxious tohm' which after refusing his offer several times ended up with a drink in my hand that I didn't want. So what do you do but offer it to a girl?
I don't want to go into any pacifics here but the girl was a friendly interesting person with one of those billion dollar smiles that is the best thing a guy who people laugh at could hope for. Add a redundant, wasted and loud middleman to the equation and I am forced to ask for her number and then last night we went out on a date.
I had a duke awesome time and by that I mean super fun hapy good times combined with the expense of me wanting to maintain the illusion I'm some kind of bigshot. Sure I didn't have to drink Hennesy from a shnifter and smoke cigars as previously I had never done this but you know, when you're out to impress thems the breaks.
So really from here it's a matter of simply figuring out the cultural differences and hopefully I don't have to have any fingers cut off.
am i just part of an imperialist plot?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hobo Snobbery

So I caught up with Marc after yet again too long last night. He had such a firm handshake I hadn't realised how limp wristed and pussy like mine had become. Everyone is tan far too early in the summer sequence for my liking but marc looked great.
Yet another of those opportunities to appreciate how different I am from my father. I was telling marc about my parents over reaction to my going to quaker meetings. Dad thought I'd been sucked inot christianity through some cult like manouvre and had lost my mind.
It's incredibly hard to explain non creedal to people in practice. We also talked about the different cultures we'd come across. Marc is living back with the solesian brothers and I don't know much about them except in the old days they used to train up orphans into trades but I got nno idea what they do now but he said his lifestyle had changed from a very independant lifestyle to constant community coupled with diverse ages and diverse cultures. In the mix. On the question of whether he was getting support from his friends he said it was mixed.
And you know in coping with change there's going to be those that can accept change and support it actively but sadly the majority are conservative. And to reenter the priesthood after 20 years is probably not a widely respected move in anyones book. But Marc is truly a great guy, I could only fault his plan on being sorry to lose him from the general community to help out a small community. But still that's part of who he is and I respect that.
I'll support marc. Cept he doesn't need me for much apart from running basketball and occasionally bike riding. But conversation wise and whatever wisdom and experience I have to offer.
Like my incapacity to comprehend the Malaysian equation. More and more I read harvard's blog which claims to be 51% bullshit, 23% crazy, 25% offensive, and maybe 2% truth but I've never found a single child fucking werribee rape tape thing on it that is offensive. I haven't really even seen anything crazy apart from other people's sites he has linked to it. Not to criticize Harvard's lifestyle or anything but if I went to malaysia being pretty cut and dry would they be like 'You are 78% offensive' force me into some tommy hilfiger, boat shoes and put gel in my hair and send me shopping?
I don't want to sound like hitler or anything but Harvard being an exceptional Malaysian and pretty cool guy by comparison I've never been able to figure out why they are even alive.
Which leads me to the conclusion that I have to go there and check it out, chizmolak in the local culture and soak it up, that way I can learn why the distinct need to be as consumerist and hollow as possible, to hang around 'hot chicks' that you can never touch and be a pretty frustrated nerd and spend ridiculous money on everything bar food with which you can pay $2 for a massive pepper steak.
I mean on Top Gear once they said 'We were trying to think of something cool from Ausralia.' and they couldn't so you know it obviously effects more countries but one. I mean what is cool from Malaysia?

Monday, October 23, 2006

The whole fucking bakery

this wins

people in the middle c'mon and wiggle wiggle

Okay so the weekend would have to rate in my top 5 ever. I wake up feeling like my stomach has been scraped out by pre loved hamsters with a taste in my mouth like those hamsters picked a different oriface to enter by in the pre loving no what I mean. Reminds my of a joke that I only heard today two guys drinking in a bar and one says to the other 'I fucked your mamma, I shoved my cock down her throat and my finger up her arse.' and the other says 'okay dad I think you've had enough to drink'
which is kind of why I felt so shit on saturday morning. But I still pulled myself out of bed, did some laundry and headed into earthsharing to have loud 12-15 yo entertain me all day.
Infact I felt so bad I almost piked on Miho's 30th but I'm glad I actually felt guilt for once and turned up. That party was kicking as I watched miho make the same mistakes I had made naively only the night before. Of course I didn't help, I was all moslem and didn't drink a drop. My first taste of beer was at 5am when I randomly ran into yusuke while walking home and went to the joint. My advice, never go to the joint at 5 am the morning after a big race day. That place is pretty much the opposite of class. Yusuke's latest girl hugged me goodbye which was weird since it was the first I talked to her all night.
anyway 3 hours of attempted sleep later I go play basketball with a good turnout for my first birthday basketball classic. I played the worst game of my life and then went to break fast with Omar for the last day of ramadan, he was fucking hungry. The three of us, whacked out as fuck from sleep deprivation had awkward disjointed conversations then I headed home and litterely crashed into bed.
my house stinks like a tobacco convention because liam burnt the shit out of a pot, that was three days ago. But it still smells that way. I feel like the party never ends as a reslut.

adious amigoes until I get a chance to sit down again.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Praise Me Like I should

What a difference a year makes. Last year I would have been hard pressed to think of anyone to invite to my birthday this year I'm a super star. Okay so maybe not a great turn out but you know I had people representing all over, it was great they were even getting along with eachother. I feel really bad about alcohol this morning but really good about all the efforts people went to to make my birthday special. Weather it was mum's birthday feast cooked with out a kitchen (those clowns are always renovating) or Andy's gay music on the car stereo tripping into town or my work colleagues recognition of my problem with basketball.
Thanks everyone who texted me at 2am to wish me a happy birthday the night before I was actually up and aboot partying. I love all you guys.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Episode 6 down

Finally its fucking over, that motherfucking script is finished, posted and fucking done and got a whole day of being 22 to enjoy my freedom. The whole series can visit happyland* for all I fucken care. If it was a person I would dig out it's eyeballs with a spoon and piss in its eyesockets. In fact tha being said I was surprised when I finished it. I just felt nothing at all. It's been such a mammoth project that wouldn't need to be if somebody payed me to write. I could have produced something as long and as "good" as friends if someone paid me. Of course there aren't any Australian sitcoms so lets stop pretending its going to happen.
But its done, my second full series of tv I should live in LA and work in a coffee shop and audition for roles as extras all day.
Seriously episode 6 fuck you. Your done and I didn't feel anything.

3 pages 1 hour

Shit fucks, this is shisticles. I gotta get there, I'm bounding it in. It's like rapist action, dominating up court and down court. from zero to hero. C is the way we begin H is the next letter in I that am the third C is the middle of the word K we fillin in E we near the end C-H-I-C-K-E-N that am the way to spell chicken. I come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow. Valhalla I am coming.

8 pages 2 hours

You can fucking do it tohm. Get your fucking fuck on. The end is in sight. The faster I do this the less time I have to spend doing it. You are a powerful god. The sun blinks when you look at it. Just fucking type motherfucker. Motherfucker. Don't stop, a shit shit yeah and it don't stop, shedding light on the darkness of greed. I am going to finish this if it kills me. ohminous t runs this.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Friday the 13th has been and goned and apparantly it was a big one. If you summed the date 13102006 it adds up to 13 which in turn adds up to 4. I had a pretty damn fucktackular day on friday though, which must have means it was a shitty day for my enemies. I mean one man's good fortune is another man's misfortune right?
Around this time 4 years ago I read my last horroscope. The Mx horoscope and I still blame it for my failed relationship with Chantelle.
It said 'Libra: tomorrow someone you know will rip out your heart and feed it to you' anyway some shit like that. I mean in the end you can't blame a horoscope it's not a cause but a prediction right?
Except Chan believed in the Mx horoscopes and I'm pretty sure her's said 'Aquarius: time for change' or 'dump your boyfriend' or some shit. So yeah horoscopes are fun.
It's a phenomena called confirmation bias though, when there's risk involved in any activity people try to 'solve' the activity, come up with a system or pattern to effectively eliminate the risk. However if the activity is random or just plane out of your control your attempts to make patterns create superstition.
Bad shit happens to you every day not just on Friday the 13th infact I've never heard of anyone having one of their particulalry bad days on friday the 13th.
But you know it's funny I had to actively combat superstition the last time I got dumped like the day after a spinach based curry.
I found myself doing all the 'I can't wear those underwear, things get worse when I wear those' and for me particularly it was always 'tuesday is always a bad day' and 'thurday is always a good day' a superstitious cycle I only broke three months ago through concerted self talk.
Fucking brain trauma, it fucks you up. I wish I'd done something interest with my new found superstition like ritual goat sacrifices. But instead I just dreaded tuesday's (a sensible day to dread) and woke up full of golden happiness on thursdays (yeah who knows why).

Monday, October 16, 2006

liquid happiness

Just before my ipod broke down I created a playlist called liquid happiness, full of all the lollypoppin songs that I can't help but feel silly and happy over.
I'm ashamed to admit this but somehow someway I just found myself finding gary newman's explosive lyrical poetry and synth rock really cool all of a sudden. Ironically cars is something I don't really spend any time in but if I did that track would definitely be on high rotation.
At any rate I was chizmolakin on my cycle heading down studley park road at a brazillion miles an hour flapping my arms (I've gotten really good at balancing on my bike lately) listening to this and de la soul and faith no more (I don't have a playlist that doesn't feature fnm) and it was great childish abandon. The fucking reunion has put this into me, last week I was laughing randomly at work at Kirk's 'I hate balls' comment and this week is was at 'firaman hat's you fucking idiot' and that's the most tragic thing, that was something I said a bit over 5 years ago.
That's the saddest thing about me now you see over there, next to that picture of me that 'I'm a no 1...' I laugh at that, I laugh at myself now, I picked up an old satadal and read my own articles and found them really funny. It's the most depressing thing ever.
So anyway in year twelve the biggest event of the year was boat race (sporting event) and my school was small enough to make it compulsory to support the school anyway responsibility fell on the year 12's to come up with the theme, and we had two dousies, Firemen and Pirates, and I voted for Firemen, it was gonna be so camp and homoerotic it was just the thing for a rowing comp. Yet all the cool bitches wanted to be pirates. So we had this big debate to settle it and we were all literally on one side of the room or the other. And Damo got to speak first and his arguement was:
'Pirates is such a good theme, you can have eye patches and scars and wear pirate hats and firemen what can you do with that?' it was supposed to be retorical, but it was one of the few times I actually snapped and lost it, how could you be so fucking stupid so I screamed at him with the sociopathic killer inside of me 'firemen hats you fucking idiot!' and Rowan Gabb one of my favorite people in the world found me super hilarious and at the reunion he kept quoting it back to me. I had forgotten. It's funny what people remember you for, but not as funny as telling Mr Knight I was gay with his horrified acceptance of me. I should have put my hand down his shirt, ahhh ballarat.*

*I'm not gay

Sunday, October 15, 2006

head fuck

So last night was my 5 year highschool reunion. I can't believe how anxious and not looking forward to it I was. When I got there my old mates and I hooked up and where juvenile as ever. Everyone was so happy. Some had aged more than others but you know, whatever.
I got picked on a bit but otherwise I've always been the biggest arsehole around anyway so I'm not a sympathetic target. I got wasted and had a good time. I smoked a cheap cigar but didn't get to blow it in my old principles face. Told my old physics teacher I'd come out. (he was horrified so I escalated it to peadophelia) then the penny dropped.
I really can't describe it all. Except when you look forward to catching up with someone and then when you get there you are much much more drunk than them. I hate realising the disparity.
peace out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Those Summer Nights

To my expatriate readers, first off it's fucking hot in Melbourne right now. I step out the door at 8 am and thanks to my superior metabolism I need to go take a shower. I've become a water bottle loser too. Fucking water bottle losers, and now I'm one of them. People are talking about cool changes in fucking October. This is meant to be Spring not summer. If you've got a grandma and she doesn't have air conditioning, count on her death this holiday season.
That being said all them new Caroline Spring McMansions with their inefficient designs and maximised Airconditioning ought to ensure the drying of the Australian landscape and climate change continue.
So in this context I chucked on a soccer shirt and headed into town last night, the soccer shirt was Italy's one even those mafia abetted cheats had what was without a doubt the worst world cup win in a long time. My date laughed at me because we both ended up in 'Italia' shirts as we hopped a tram to Lygon.
It went pretty well I haven't been on a date in a long time, we went to University Cafe and had pasta which I managed to get all over myself. It was realy amusing to see how much a foreigner found Italian cuisine amazing.
We ate paid up and went out for Gelati then walked with it through Carlton back into the CBD. We played fucking streetfighter in one of those China town arcades it was awesome even though I did the gentlemanly thing and lost the fight. I hate people who pick Ryu or Ken. Give me Dhalsim all the way.
Then it was Ping Pong, now I've had my arse beat by dates at Ping Pong before but his time I came back and won from a 5 point deficit. I'm just a natural at the console except for fucking Playstation with it's Geometric fucking patterns for buttons.
It was a shame really, I'm feeling attractive and Andy is a handsome man, I really like him but neiher of us are that way. It was a perfect date except it was not with a woman I love.
Makes me realise how much I got to offer that I just aint offering anymore. Still a mandate is better than no date.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Super Enthusiasm Hour

So I'm back from camp, and fuck.................................................I am tired. Whilst the energy of young people is infectious, once removed it's a big come down. I should be working on a strategic plan right now but have foolishly set it aside to finish off at 6 am tomorrow. So while everythings fresh and popping in my head I just thought I'd take the oportunity to record my thoughts on the camp before I sleep on it and decide I really hate kids or something.
First off I was a ring-in facilitator there to fill out the numbers and didn't actually have a great grasp on the depth of information that made up the camp's program. In fact I didn't know much at all, which also gave me the opportunity to not only experience it from the facilitators perspective but also experience the speakers and everything first hand.
It's kind of tragic but listening to a bunch of lectures is my idea of a good time. Then dumping interesting (to me) lectures in the middle of the bush, and particularly looking at the simple initiatives employed by Angair was a pure great experience. It would have been quie relaxing if it didn't also involve snapping my fingers and doing this:
it pays to be evil sometimes
Which most of the time I couldn't do because I had my enforcer sunnies on. I needed those sunnies because I didn't have M's enforcer voice to use on the kids.
But seriously as I befin to drift out of consciousness at a paltry 8.20pm it was a super good experience and another affirmation of how good something can be driven by members of the community.
And that's no small fucking thing, to just get up and step out of lne and be the genisis of something creative, positive and wonderful.
I can only imagine the headaches incurred by the planning process and the headaches that occured to me during the weekend and the steep learning curve for the students and the facilitators but it honestly did me a world of good to participate.
And just to make it clear I hope you do feel bad about yourself is all you do is buy accessories for your imac and draw pretty pictures and watch artsy self indulgent films that make you dwell on how tragic your life is. Because you should actually you know reach inside yourself in the way that doesn't leave a couple of litres of blood on the floor and try and use that to spark something or inspire something else.
Off the record I hope I inspired the kids to get asymetrical haircuts because that I believe more than anything else could make a difference to tomorrow.
Possibly the thing that can never be underestimated is that even when you are bombarded with information you never know when noise can spark inspiration. I think it would be hard for any of the participants in the camp to turn around after really seeing effective environmentalism in action and not have to stand on it's side of the line when called upon.
I had thought the quote was on earthsharing's website but I can't be fucked reading through it to find it but it was 'the human mind once enlightened cannot become dark again' so ultimately I think in terms of germinating a movement amongst future generations the camp will have been a success. Particularly given the gratuitous use of words young people find cool like 'rad, zap & cowabunga'
Karl would get feedback at the end of each night as 'best, worst and funniest' so here's mine:
best - seeing 12 year olds contributing and intermixing with 15 year olds.
worst - having my hearing diminished in the back seat of the bus by sheer enthusiasm where headphones and heavy metal had failed to.
funniest - when kirk asked a kid to pass him a ball and on recieving it said 'I hate balls' and throwing it away. I cried but you really had to be there.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Training day

what a shitty film. The last hour is like just a bunch of speeches made by Denzel Washington back to back to back. At 4 pm on tuesday I got informed I was booked into training toay and tomorrow. And trainings really good, infact since I been sitting down thinking about how to design my company of tomorrow, this training session was an insight.
People naturally being stupid, paranoid and self interested beings tend to build empires when it comes to their career. That is the intuitive and natural thing to do is to horde your knowledge in order to increase your value to the company.
It's one of those laws of nature though that is counter-intuitive. The worst thing anyone can ever do for their career is build an empire. That is make themselves irreplacable. What you want to do is doing things but effectively redundant at the drop of a hat.
People want to feel validated and worthwhile so naturally you try and accumulate expertise (which is good) however expertise is no good to you unless you can put someone over a barrel ad assfuck them for all their worth.
That normally isn't the case.
Hold up I'm going to try and draw a diagram so I can explain this better...
Okay a company employs you for a new position because they need something done. There is an initial period where you learn how to fulfill those needs and so you create value. At this point people pat themselves on the back, job secured, very busy, very successful. As long as the compny needs this done they need you right? so there you go, done deal. A manager quits suddenly the company needs someone to fulfill this manager role. A manager is a position that in nomena must exist but in phenomena should not as they are just people who tell people what they should be doing which shouldn't be necessary if people could be trusted to lead themselves.
So you apply for this position, they need to fill it, they know you, do you get it?


I mean you might, but you shouldn't not if your boss is worth their salt, not if your company is going places. Because they still need you to do the same shit you've been doing. You haven't trained anyone to replace you so you can't go anywhere. You have only managed to trap yourself.
The other thing that needs to be considered is even if you do get the position the company loses which means you lose. You only get the position through a sense of responsibility, like they think they owe it to you. They really don't. For two reasons that should be clear:
a) by not training anyone to replace you, you really won't have learnt the ins and outs of your role, you won't have been questioned and questioned what it is you do and so you probably are doing it less efficiently than someone who has wasting the companies time and money.
b) if you haven't shown an interest in teaching anyone thus far, it is unlikely that you will take the time to properly train a replacement when you move up the heirarchy. So you leave a black hole behind you and someone has to come in and reinvent the wheel and inefficiently and inexpertly train themselves.

I know because that's what I had to do, I came in and inherited a bunch of processes, had no documentation and very little training. But after two months I endeavored to automate everything I did, document everything I built and explain how I did it and also actively learnt how to do my managers job. Which exceeded all expectations so I got promoted after 8 months, so did my manager, now the only person who seems interested and capable of learning how to replace me is my new manager. But I'll take it.
So getting trainied up is super smart for the company too, it's tax deductable, is a perk that can help retain employees and improves (hopefully) the employees efficiency and capacities. More than that it helps your employee step towards independance, if more companies set up satellite programs like Semco then economies would be counter intuitively much stronger.
Wealth needs to be shared around.
With my access training, I can automate even more of what it is that I do, meaning I'll be ripe for either getting a new job or going on my merry way to offer the same value to a new employer that needs it. So my job security isn't a worry, in fact if I wanted to keep my job I'd already be a strategic advisor that gets to hang out on my own tabacco plantation wandering the fields with labradors all day whilst occasionally crafting pieces of art with my own two hands.
As it stands I don't want to keep my job, I want a better one. So I do what I can to make myself redundant and as quickly as possible. It's the only way I'll be allowed to move.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Heyo, today a new mother was talking about the way her kid said heyo instead of hello thats so cute it melts my heart like a butterpuppy* anyway you may have noticed my blog is changed, and I've been posting regularly, even daily when was the last time that happened? why when I was supposed to be writing Episode 5. And now it's Episode 6 time. So yeah it's procrastination, but I bet the majority of people reading this haven't even lifted a finger to work on something they dream of or care about.
Scripts are good and vaulted away and been getting approval from everyone I need approval from and then some, some that I hate getting approval from and feel I'm in the same league as prop comics.
Anyway I set myself an unrealistic deadline to finish this episode and I have some pretty good ideas so I'll be getting plenty sleep deprived and not because I'm having sexiness with beautiful ladies.
I booked a time with my best friend today. That's a milestone. I wonder if I'll look back on these years and think about how productive my life was that I had to book something in that wasn't Dancing with the Stars? Infact right now the busy man dreams of domestic bliss.
Bryce works hard, he has a full schedule, he has to go to pointless meetings to make useless contacts just to find the few that will get him ahead. He has to do a lot of other work, and inject energy and shit.
I have to do three people's work and craftily argue with customers all day while getting random tasks from managers and people think I'm lazy including me because I do waste a lot of time at work. I only have four productive hours a day of real work, the rest is answering stupid questions and attending meetings and paperwork and copying.
I cultivated this image to try and get people to think more about flexible hours and lifestyle and to defy presenteeism. Because after hours I do volunteer work and have managed in just a year to get myself overcommitted. I got three organisations going on now all of which are linked to your left. (Although rew activities is just a shitty website for ESL school, the activities part get's no mention at all).
And FLN I'm volunteering in three facets of the organisation. So whilst I only work 3-4 hours productively a day (more than most) you then head to another organisation and do some more productive work because you never have enough time for productivity there. Then I have to cram, script writing and socialising into the days left in the week.
But I already shat on about how much my bleeding heart yearns for the loving that only television can give, what you should check out is this linked article on flying solo it's good, and people need to start believing in the four hour day.
Most of all industry is based on assumptions. Innovation is there to be had, but the biggest challange in the way of innovation is realising there's an opportunity to innovate. Not coming up with Einstein level physics proofs to make life more manageable and enjoyable.
Take the evolution of software for example. Most companies come out with a leading edge software package (like windows as a PC graphical interface software package) and over the years it get's improved by redisigning bits of the original and cutting things out, like michael jackson's evolution from black to white. Until it becomes an outmoded hideous monstrosity. Then someone in the industry just starts from first principles and builds something new. Like Eminem, I mean 'why even start with a black guy?' was the process innovation there. Similarly I hear Microsoft is starting from the ground up with the next evolution of windows.
So business and education and government and law all often work the same way, built on assumptions made by the previous model they will always carry irrelevant recessive genes through to the next incarnation. Like overtime in business, homework in education, campaign media in government and penetention in the legal system. You could ask why we do all that shit for each case and probably drastically innovate your world view at the same time.
So if you are at work reading this. Click over to the article linked above and start asking questions.
Thinking is not illegal yet.

*not to be confused with a butterdog, that is the dog used in some japanese porno** to lick butter off a naked girl. A butter dog is innocent and melty.

**I see a lot of dissapointed google hoppers finding this post now.

Monday, October 02, 2006

That fucking shirt

When I first saw an FCUK shirt I thought it was hilarious, I thought 'I have to get one' a single marketing lecture later and I thought 'man fcuk is for fcuking losers' the vote for pedro shirts have replaced it for the Chapel st trendies wanting to convince me they are unique and different. For one it's not really a classic line from the film or anything, infact the slogan 'vote for pedro' is one of the most logical thoughts in the entire film, given that pedro is running for president.
Two I never thought I'd say this but that film was out on DVD two years ago. I know because I was watching it this time of year in the smelling festering hellhole that was Morrah st, but that time frame puts it in the phantom zone, too recent to be an icon like transformers shirts or monkey magic shirts or blacksploitation shirts, too old to be the cutting edge.
It is still cool, I admit it. A bunch of cool people are wearing it around but here's my one and only style tip for this season:

tohm's style tip #1 and only: Instead of vote for pedro, you know that shirt you wear when you get the tips in your hair topped up with your friends, try a shirt that may actually identify you as a true individual, try 'vote for rumsfield' why before you know it fcuk will be marketing it.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Vinsane day

Today I woke up at 5. went back to sleep. Woke up at 6.30 went back to sleep. Woke up at 8 got up went to the bathroom. Got myself dressed and crashed on the couch to read a slam mag.
Not content having read slam I logged onto wikipedia and looked up half the NBA league. I was determined to get my fucking game on today as next week I'm heading to camp to spread the earthsharing propaganda to impressionable young minds.
I'm getting sent a card in the mail to say you can trust me alone with your daughter. It even has my picture on it. Or rather it did have my picture on it.
But you see a lot happened after 11. For example, I walked to the servo and bought some mizone. You can take that to the bank. Then I rode into town. With no psyche up music because betsy my trusty ipod to my knowledge is still out of commission.
Then I cruized into Kicks101 I even looked at the sign above the door saying spacious apartment available ideal for student accomodation. I paused to contemplate how broke I would be if I was living above kicks101.
I cruised down and bought a new jersey for new jersey. No 15. Air fucking Canada which isn't really appropriate since you know he now plays for the NJ Nets.
I even threw done for a colourful new headband. I met up with the dudes for bball and there was a decent number of them to be had. I changed and we headed to the courts.
I played vinsanely as I had intended to, which because I have no ability to dunk whatsoever and am even a pretty average rebounder it just meant I took a lot more shots, even when my team refused to give me support in the centre.
I look forward* to balling all week, so I just tried a couple of my from the hip three pointers and made some baskets and a few skyhooks, a couple of steals and was easily like the 7th best player there.
But I had fun, and that really is all you should ever step on a court for. I also got a wife beater sunburn from my new shirt, ah october here you are at last.
Anyway after getting sunburnt n shit and putting my hips out defending so it felt like I'd given birth I went back into town, retrieved my bike and then headed home.
At home I got liam to shave in my mohawk. Now as an artist I know if you do things with confident intent you can not really fuck up and liam was nibbling at the ends of my neck so I actually had to make the mohawk inroads with the trimmer until liam showed some signs that he was never really going to get it. So my mohawks a little crooked and wide as a turkish muff the last real test is to see if I get away with it at work.
Here goes nothing.

*when my buddy Jimmy pop discovered I was playing bball every sunday he got excited and took me to the hills hoist to check out his new singlet for the summer. KB8 all in jet black. Jimmy jumps at me and yells 'the rapist' he's in cambodia though so rapist vs vinsanity will have to wait.