Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Why are you alive?

It might feel good
It might sound a little somethin
but damn the game if it don't mean nuttin
What is game? Who is game?
Where's the game in life behind the game behind the game
I got game, she's got game
We got game, they got game, he got game
It might feel good
It might sound a little somethin
but fuck the game if it ain't sayin nuttin
- public enemy 'he got game'

I got a playlist on my ipod called 'isness of the business' named after an Arj Barker comment on how guys are different from girls, provocative & topical! I been listening to it and had crammed on a stack of basketball themed tracks.
Right now I go to work and try and find enough work to justify my being there 8 hours. I work for my company because it is an environmentally friendly and socially responsible one. I also work primarily to observe and learn. Learn the organisational structure, the politics, the procedures and the people.
Immeadiately on starting full time work I was struck by how meaningless a lot of people's lives were there.
A harsh and arrogant statement to be sure to be sure, but literally there are people who's lives consist of working in circles all day then going home and watching big brother. They threw a party for me at work because I do some volunteer work in the community have you ever heard anything more appalling.
I mean it's confronting to think these people are out there consuming for what amounts to little or no reason but possibly the fear of missing out.
So I've been designing my company, my work place from first principles. I filled half a note book and discovered that I don't really care about what it does (just as an engineering graduate doesn't care if they work for a plastic injection mold firm or a asphalt engineering firm) what I wanted was to create a workplace that people wanted to work for. And I don't mean work overtime hard to succeed or any shit. But that they wanted to come and experience like a theme park everyday. One that stimulates and arouses, provokes and inspires.
I'm not talking one that requires dress ups or posturing but one where an employee can have a personal philosophy, express themselves in the way they dress. Get exercise during the day. Simple things like playing music and art.
Maybe I've got an immaturity complex but kinder was pretty fun. I'd still enjoy it and not because I'm a peadophile but because I still have a short attention span and diverse interests.
I don't want a job I have to recharge for at night with my loved ones but one where I come home charged with energy for my loved ones. Probably the most important point.
I think of Allen Iverson and his 4 kids (including Allen II, Rasheed [for his murdered homie], and Messiah) tattooed on his body and how important it is for him. He plays a game yeah, that's his job and he gets paid more in a year than I will probably earn in my lifetime but he loves the game and can come home to be a good guy for his baby momma and babies.
Everyweekday I wake up before heading to work in a cold sweat of hoop dreams. I literally live for the weekend. Since I've been playing with short lightframed asians, almost universally 10 x more skilled than me I've been playing center position. When I used to play on cold winter's nights in ballarat I was a wimpy forward, I could chase down any gaurd on the layup but lacked the confidence to ever try and block them, do a layup, rebound, take a shot at goal etc. before switching teams my nickname was 'benchwarmer' fuck you jades!
Anyway having at least 5 kg on any of my oponents and generally being close to tallest everyweek I've been playing better. Last Saturday represented probably the greatest single moment in my life where on the rebound in one smooth motion I smacked it straight into the basket.
My man crush cheered for me and it felt better than sex. I was blushing like a schoolgirl.
So converse to public enemies I'm finding of late that basketball once a week fulfills my whole maslow pyramid. and I'm not kidding either. Yet work fulfills only my baseline needs, food security and a bit of social interaction.
So my question to all of yous is why are you alive? what do you live for? if you live for the weekend what do you do on it? what do you do to add colour and shape to your life? does the pursuit of your dreams cause you nothing but headaches? are you doing it are you reaching for those goals? or are you complaining about petrol price hikes and how much you hate michael on big brother?
It might feel good
it might sound a little somethin
but fuck the game if it don't mean nothin.

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