Sunday, August 24, 2014

"What did you want for yourself that your tried to give your partner?"

Support, investment, encouragement. Freedom. The clarity of this answer makes this question stunning to me. Namely to draw that fucking line between what I want for others - to myself, my own wants and needs. I never ever made the conscious connection. But it seems too obvious to me now.

I think of the arguments I've had on and off with my parents for the past 5 years. I say arguments, really they are conversations, conversations I find frustrating because it is them drudging up doubts and insecurities on my artistic career choice eg. home ownership, attracting and keeping a partner, having kids, supporting kids, paying rent, foregoing opportunities... etc. doubts and fears that are so obvious, it is actually frustrating to hear the suggestion that they hadn't occured to you.

This creates friction, for me at least and I imagine for most people. Imagine you figure out the next big tech innovation, an interface that will put touch screens in an early grave. You see it, it's risky but you know you want to press ahead. Then you have to push the idea through 20 layers of management approval, and each layer demands you make the same case again and again until you convince them. 18 months later, the top brass sign off and of course the innovation has cropped up elsewhere - in a company that doesn't have all these layers of friction. The project ultimately fails.

To me, an artist I've looked straight in the eye at all the potential downsides of this career path. I decided to press ahead anyway. At the point you decide to do something as hard as succeed as an artist, what you need, all you need is support. Even criticism if it is pertinent to artistic or professional development is support. But having people ask you to reevaluate your decision to embark is not support. It's friction.

That's what I want gone for myself, that I try to provide or compensate for, for others.

Next question.

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