Thursday, February 07, 2008

Caveat Emptor

Last night as I was reading my emails, I could overhear a tourist (guess if you can guess where from) having an arguement about the phone service dropping out and how he wasn't going to pay on principle the 47 seconds worth that he couldn't hear the person he was calling.
The nice lady behind the counter tried to explain that nevertheless the charge had been incurred and they had topass it onto him.
Maybe he was right, I don't know, but I do know he is a douchebag. Arguing on principle over an amount you just earned in that couple of seconds it takes to argue does two things - makes you miserable, makes the person you are arguing with miserable.
Harvard asked me on messenger the other day 'how the white supremacy tour of Asia was going' in part I know he was having a go at me, but another part is sad that the b grade celebrity status granted all white people in asia, makes supremacy an easy idea to embrace. But on the other hand let me make amends for not giving whitey's enough of the pointy end of the stick.
Australians must look ridiculous to foreigners. They act all important even though Australia is one of the least significant countries in the world.
But on a day tour this week I was relieved to see myself joined by three other stray Australians only because I was dreading the worse alternative of sweaty elderly scottish couples and such. At first I enjoyed the biting humour and stuff, but then I got over my first exposure to home in 4 months real quick. Our tour guide turned up too early for our elephant ride, rather than bore us by sitting and waiting she tried to kill time by taking us to another walk. Something she explained pretty clearly I thought.
but then the demands started, and better yet on all our behalves. "I say we demand she take us to the elephants."
"I say we don't get out of the van until she shows us the elephants"
And so on ad nauseum.
And I got pissed off, they went off the rails as to how they had wasted the whole morning and they should demand a refund or discount. None over the top, but nevertheless wholly unnecessary when the tour guide followed the plan and killed time with a short trip and then put them on elephants.
They were the nicest people except for the heroic retail encounters they described.
And this I see everywhere I go. They are getting a bill and checking it twice.
In countries were the difference between a good deal and ripped off is worth approximately 20c. Fuck it and enjoy your wealth in context motherfuckers. I wouldn't bend over to pick up 20c.
And so fourth. The standard justification for letting something you normally don't care about actually upset you is 'its the principle'. Yes south east asia is annoying when prices aren't displayed, but get over it, my major beef with haggling is that it takes time I'd rather spend doing anything but haggling. Just stick a price on the goods and let me buy it.
Listening to manager-tools podcast I unfortunately forget which one, I heard something that was music to my ears. The guy described one of the best and most effective store sales reps he had ever come across. He wanted an iphone i think and walked into the apple store, and here is where the truly amazing customer service took place I will recount it to the best of my ability: (G equals guy [mark horstman] and S equals store clerk)

S: Hey.
G: Hey.
S: You want a phone?
G: Yeah.
S: The big one?
G: Yes
S: Okay.

What is so great may have escaped you, but it is infact, the lack of syrupy customer pampering that facilitates an easy sale. This is certainly how I like to shop, I hate being approached by someone as soon as I walk into a store. If there is one thing that will make me reconsider walking into a store it is if I look in and anticipate being bothered. For me and I assume a lot of people like me, we barely walk into a store if we haven't already made up our mind what to buy. When browsing, this is a process that involves, looking and reading. I find it invaluable to know my pants size, because this means I never have to try anything on.
For me, shopping is all give and take, and I can't stand shops giving heaps of shit that I don't need. It is all born of the seemingly infallible but hugely flawed trend of 'delighting customers' and it has born the age of caveat vendor, of course, beating customer expectations causes short term delight and even higher expectations, and the vicious level of competition has bread something truly awful out of white people.
It reminds me of retail marketing where I first discovered the horror of this phenomena, when someone talked about how Just Jeans better clean up their act for refusing to honour a clearance sale on stock in a different store and different size.
And I looked around and most people were nodding in agreement. But a clearance sale is to clear the stock that isn't selling and help cashflow, there's no reason I can concieve of on earth that the store should have to honour such an elaborately bullshit request as to pull stock out of a different store that doesn't have the sale and sell it at a discount price.
people have it way too fucking good.
An old colleague of mine demonstrated the principle of why I am for a return to caveat emptor. We both worked in customer service, and you cop a lot of shit. People who want roadside assistence for their $400 lawnmower is a good example of consumer expectations going crazy.
And my colleague would bitch and moan about how crazy and stupid customers could be (when they were 'bad' ones) and then pick up the phone and call her drycleaners and make the most explosively aggressive, abusive and devoid of all reason calls you ever heard.
'NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME, you will pick up the dress, adjust the straps and give me a full refund.'
It's one of those moments where someone screws up an easy connect the dots puzzle. People's expectations of service it seems in the white western world is so far from reality or reason, literraly most people acting like fucking royalty, that in turn customer service has dropped, because the same people in customer service, still think they are royalty when they are taking it, not dishing it.
so yeah, instead of demanding refunds for your own stupid purchases, try making up your mind before you walk in the store, maybe some internet research, then you don't have to have these upsetting confrontations.
Except maybe not just consumer expectations have been altered, but also what could be called 'common sense'. Yes consumers should be protected, but not insured, so much so that if you do get a bad bit of some product you don't profit for it.
Businesses don't want to ceade any competitive advantage, so when one company refunds your lunch because the soup was cold and gives you free drinks, all companies must adopt the same policy else they never win your business back.
But at some point this becomes the new norm, and anything less than delightful service recovery is unsatisfactory. Hence nobody will repair any minor defect in a product anymore, they are so affronted they want a whole new one.
And there is a competitive advantage in treating customers fairly, not with priveledge. It makes it more pleasent to work in customer service, abuse is not the worst part, having to suck up to abusive people is the worst part.
Its like how if you ever have an employee that tries to manuevre for more money you are better off just getting rid of, so too with a customer that tries to manuevre for excessive recompens or greater discounts. Just scrap them and start again.
Not because you should accept low quality in your own performance, but the risk of losing one customer may not always outway the risk of losing a good staff member. Furthermore it is about managing expectations, if you have excessive expectations you always have to strive more and sacrifice profits (and profits are what really should be driving growth and innovation and subsequently superior service) furthermore the greatest benifit of all is that developed countries will produce less arseholes.
I came to South East Asia, and China to experience the reality of poverty, but a lot of other Australians, AMericans and Europeans are in South East Asia under the impression that they are seemingly in some kind of western hotel. That commercial law may be somehow different and that people need the money far more than westerners need our 'principles' In a way its true that tourism is helping, the more dollars that can be milked out of fat white people and put to sustainable development and independance the better. But that said being in an actual fullblown tourist destination, I kind of respect Japan more, because they don't need our fucken money, and don't need to take shit from westerners. I hope SE asia and China can get there, except with the environment in tact and no chronic depression, shut ins and masochism.

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