How to Ruin a Tool Concert

The real tool fan is elusive, indefinable and unquantifiable.
The drive to conform is repulsive, yet to stand out trecherous.
So what do you do, what do you wear?
Black apparantly, few times do I actually stand out walking around the CBD of Melbourne
yet I was surprised to see the Latest Tool Concert demographic had altered considerably.
I've always loves the dysfunctional way Tool fans fit together in a small space,
it's questionable whether they are united more by the band or their disdain for eachother.
Most thankfully, myself included don't want to belong, just want to enjoy the music.
They are tight.
Playing tool pieces is no mean feet, there is simply too much going on.
By the by, Sydney Myer Music bowl is a shitty venue for a rock concert. If you're going to RHCP bring your ipod.
Anyhoo, fashion icon that I am, turns out I was amongst the 20 or so people that didn't wear black to the concert, and furthermore was one of 4 in a vibrant colour.
I was wearing an orange jacket and knee high cow print socks.
Tool fans are basically a bunch of nerds and a bunch of bogans and everyone inbetween, including country meatheads, emo's, and even a mofugly teeny bopper.
Said teeny bopper screamed real loud when she got excited about a song. Real loud as in louder than the songs themselves. Sure you're excited, I'm excited too but what are we excited about? The music surely, and I mean it's not like tool need any encouragement, 30,000 paid $100 or more to come see them.
And you guy who had to raise your hand and point out the rythym to every song, why? why was that necessary? it wasn't dancing and everyone on the hill had to crane their necks and shuffle about to see anything. Nobody dared mosh.
So you just obstructed four or five peoples view, and your sense of rythym wasn't that good.
Furthermore you were one of many a caught lighting up weed and looking around nervously.
It was not a cool gesture, a defiant self confident stance.
In the tool crowd you can't relate to your fellow fan, you don't know whether you are cool or not.
Thankfully some guy distracted us all by climbing up the canopy in the music bowell. It has to be at least 40 meters high.
The police and security couldn't do shit.
That was funny.
He got arrested. I would have thought he'd do a graceless drop amongst the fans then mingle.
Within maybe ten seconds he would have been lost to them. Instead he just crawled right into their hands.
Oh well, next up Clapton.