Monday, October 29, 2012

Watch My Mouth

INTP's "are sometimes surprised by the high esteem in which their friends and colleagues hold them." I am learning the hard way, that I have to increasingly watch what I say.

I have always observed and assumed to be self evident, that people are different, you and I are different. It seems to me the most apparant and obvious thing in the world. Everything needs to be interpreted and evaluated in the context of your own ambitions.

Thus when people share with me their opinions there is a bunch of discounting and appreciating that goes on. But ultimately it is important to me what other people think only as far as our objectives converge.

eg. if I draw a picture that I want to communicate some particular message, then almost any person's opinion matters (except those whose opinion reflects an intent to be malicious/sycophantic regardless of the context, eg disingenuous opinions, these opinions never matter, except where they give rise to holocausts.) because it is a test of encoding/decoding and whether my message is obvious enough to be recieved, yet opaque enough to be rewarding/maintain interest etc. for example.

When I'm dishing, rather than recieving though, I generally make the error of assuming that people understand my feedback equates to nothing more than 'this is what I think' to be evaluated against what the artist or creator wanted me to think. But nothing more. nothing more than that. So I assume that people assume that I am not an authority on what they are trying to do, on being a playwrite, drummer, band manager, producer, actor, writer OR even visual artist.

I am only an authority on what I think. But as my friend said to me 'how many times can you say "it's just my opinion"?' And I guess it's just that, to some people it is just an opinion. To others though, an opinion is a big deal.

These are the unfortunate truths regarding opinions though, that we all at some point have to learn to live with.

Everybody has them.
Most are made subconsciously.
They are not always expressed.
They need not be factual or even rational, but opinions are facts.

Take heart though, how you choose to react to opinions once expressed is entirely your choice.

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