My Sister's Birthday

On Friday I set aside 3 hours to take advantage of the late night shopping. I love friday nights in the city, there's so many drones walking about that I can jump behind two ladies in fur coats and use them to plough through the environmentalists, hobo's and people that want to tell me about Jesus.
I did take the most inefficient route around the town. Going from Route 66 to Sock Club to JB Hi fi to Myer's basement to boarders (where I bought something for myself true to my present buying form) all on foot, which I don't mind. There's nobody I look down on more than people who catch a tram from Bourke st to Latrobe st.
I eat some sushi rolls because I'm not that hungry because everyone thinks I'm fat I can tell even though they tell me I'm thin.
But I usually buy presents for people like a motherfucker, it's not my guesswho ability (see flip flop yo) but I'm usually good at stuff like that just in out and giftwrap in whatever wrappable material I have*, with few exceptions, buying stuff for Bryce. There just aren't enough Bryce oriented products out there to suitably cater to his ego and differentiate myself from the hampers of gay musical stuff he recieves. So I'm hit and miss.
And then there's my sister. I could get her a book or a DVD sure, but that's so boring I want her to know how great I am and how important she is to me.
So I see ten or twenty gift ideas and am wracked with indecision. It's the thought that counts is for losers.
But I can't think anyway. I start thinking 'who is my sister?' is she a shadowy imitation of me, is she an aspiring imitation of my dad. Do I get her something dad would love and reduce her to a little dad fan. Do I get her something I would love and reduce her to following my footsteps?
Is there something about her interests that is uniquely hers? Who is my sister I scream in dispair, she plays minesweeper and solitaire. Sits and watches DVD's on her days off. Apparently she cakes on mascara when she goes out clubbing but I've never seen that side at all.
My god I don't know who my own sister is I think. I head up to the surface of JB hi-fi and walk past a shop called imagination. I wander in and because I was in my knee hi's and brightly coloured pele shoes the girls behind the counter thought I was some queer buying shit for myself. Infact they asked me if it was for my girlfriend when I found a perfect gift, I said 'for my sister but I'll try it on first' asians are so backwards.
So are most Australians though. Anyway happy birthday sis for today have a good one and buyin a gift turned out to be easier than I thought.

*You should have seen my christmas gifts. I wrapped my brothers gift in cellophane like you wrap snot in a tissue then tossed it in a wine gift bag which I taped shut with the christmassy 'to-from' stickers and wrote 'to: Cunt from: Arsehole' on the label. I wasn't counting on grandma being there when the gifts were getting handed out.