Sunday, April 19, 2026

A Naive Series Part 2: Totalitarianism

"Naive" is French for gullible or childlike, or near enough. I am not a lexicologist. What I am is consumed by the question "what are people?" to which my best answer is "no one thing" but this is kind of an unsatisfying answer in the same way that J.P. Morgan's market forecast "it will fluctuate" is more accurate than it is useful.

Naive as a prefix

Being part 2, naive can be treated as a synonym for default, or factory settings for the organic factory for minds that is the amniotic sac. I probably shouldn't myself be authoritarian when it comes to nature v nurture, so we might also treat it simply as "most prevalent" or "modal" if the naive-isms might better be explained by status quo parenting. 

This series is about the kind of intuitive sense-making schema people operate unless a considerable force (education, in the broader sense) is acted upon it.

In part 1, I looked at naive chauvinism, which is in summary that most people unless educated out of it, unreasonably believe their own preferences are superior to others - eg. that their Grandma makes the best chocolate cake in the world, through to the way they drive is reasonable and everyone else drives stupid.

From here it is a short hop to 'Naive totalitarianism' in fact if my assertion/speculation that we tend to naive chauvinism, with chauvinism being an unreasonable belief in the superiority of your in-groups whatever, it would be surprising if we were not then logically prone to naive totalitarianism.

Perhaps the best and most famous expression of what I assert is naïve totalitarianism comes from Alexander Solzhenitsyn:

If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

Alexander laments via the words "if only" as life in the Gulags has taught him that no such simple operation exists, alas if we subtract "if only" then we go from lamentation to assertion:

there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them.

That's naive totalitarianism. 

Totalitarianism

Totalitarianism will have a wikipedia page I'm here to give you a naive version. I am probably using it as a synonym for authoritarianism rather than its extreme version. I may also increase the accuracy of my assertion by suggesting that we are naive frustrated totalitarians.

So totalitarianism is basically a really high confidence level. Like you are as confident that you know how society works as you are confident that 2 apples plus 2 more apples equals 4 apples. Totalitarianism is a belief in a simple world in which there's good people and bad people. 

It's a concept I would probably best summarize in a list of behaviours:

  1. Believes in an orthodoxy, speaks in absolutes "Dances With Wolves is a great movie."
  2. Polices speech - both words and topics of discussion. "Mum you can't say 'six-seven' you're so uncool."
  3. Subscription to the orthodoxy is more important than actions and behaviours. "Well I just can't believe that. John is a Christian."
  4. Practices double standards. "Don't turn your nose up at spirituality." - [turns nose up at natural sciences.]
  5. Dehumanises the outgroup. "Girl, If I were you I'd take that Temu-Versace belt and hang yourself with it."
  6. Believes the orthodoxy can only fail through lack of commitment. "We just haven't tried Communism properly."

What makes someone good, is that they "get it" and so are "one of us" where "it" is the roadmap to utopia. 

What makes someone bad, is that they "don't get it" or worse are projected to "get it, but are too selfish/uncommitted" and so are one of "them."

When you presume the answers are known to a problem that is understood, then everything reduces to commitment. To not conform then allows only two possibilities - you are stupid and require re-education, or you are bad and require active resistance.

Generally bad people are subhuman by virtue of being bad, and everyone (or maybe just the good people) are suffering because of insufficient commitment to being good.

For me, the big tells of naive totalitarianism are pretty simple: do they speak in absolutes? do they get indignant when challenged? does the person have double standards? Explained visually here by the brilliant Tom Gauld:

Sourced here

I feel that this is sufficiently broad to cover all extremes of authoritarianism that we have actually seen, like Ye Olde Theocracies (through to contemporary religious totalitarianism) where heretics, heathens, apostates and adulterers are targeted by violence. 

Thru to Fascism, generally characterised by a belief that a nation exists within the blood of some ethnic group (rather than a social convention, legally constructed on paper), and so long as you really are into that, you can be as radical socialist as you like so long as benefits only accrue to the pure blooded people.

And Leninist-Marxism where the workers are too stupefied by class consciousness to "get it" and so Communism has to be imposed by the intellectual elites and the people are liberated from dissenting opinions until such a time as they awaken into the utopia of communism via Lenin's fist.

Naive + Totalitarianism

I would like to step back from any specific ideology, or formal context for totalitarianism for a moment to emphasize the naivete.

Naive totalitarianism if I had to bet, is going to have its foundation in the emotion of anxiety. Anxiety is a response to uncertainty, and for many people anxiety is unpleasant to the point that it prompts them to try and take control. A really banal example is an examination for a subject you aren't confident in. Some people can live with the anxiety of not knowing what grade they will get from A-F on the exam, others cannot and take control by studying excessively

The naive totalitarianism comes out in these situations when a friend asks them "hey do you want to play brickball this lunch?" and notice this is an open question, allowing for the uncertainty of yes or no or even counterproposals of activities. The response is "No, I have to study." a definitive statement that is untrue, the speaker could not study and maybe get a B or a C instead of a B+ that will result from the extra hours of study, instead of becoming a doctor they might pick up a trade and work in construction. Such hyperbolic speech we, on some level understand as escalating a mere want into some kind of need.

If that last sentence feels like an alien way of thinking to you, you may be living the naive totalitarian life.

"The customer is always right" "Bridezilla" "Kitchen Nightmares" all give us banal concepts of naive totalitarianism we can see everyday without needing bold graphic swastikas and goosestepping soldiers parading in order to experience it. 

"The customer is always right" suggests that all service roles are beholden to, and measured against, the ideals of the customer, customers can treat their expectations of service as an orthodoxy that is not determined by reasoned debate or even market forces but simply the emotions of how the customer is used to being treated (eg. by US waiters working for tips vs Australian waiters who are employed by the business owner) or expect to be treated, (someone who has booked a holiday to Paris based on watching Ratatouille) 

"Bridezilla" I've been fortunate to never encounter in person, though we could generalize it out to any event where the ostensible host takes as orthodoxy, their egocentricity. I also... while open to the possibility that "Bridezilla" refers to some extreme...I would also apply it to a sentiment as simple as a bride or groom getting frustrated because "nobody is dancing" where we can begin to see the totalizing nature of mandatory fun. The hosts and event planners may think they are throwing a great wedding reception for their guests but the moment they start stipulating how classy (scripting the best-mans speech and feeding it to him through an earpiece) or unclassy (making everyone get out of their seats to dance the "Chicken dance") We are just objectifying people in a totalitarian way.

And as for Kitchen Nightmares, well this sums up the totalitarian nature of Friedmanesque, Chicago-school Neoliberalism. Not all the time, but so often the Kitchen Nightmare is born of the business owner (who can simply be some dipshit with a string of failures that has taken out a loan in his stepdaughters name because his own credit rating is through the floor) gets his or her or their way, even if they haven't been to culinary school and are employing someone who has. 

Usefully, kitchen nightmares exposes an exact counterexample to the totalitarian attitude of "the customer is always right" with the more transparent totalitarian attitude of "the owner is always right." Where customers refuse to eat the food and pay for it. Yet the workers who need the shitty job taking frozen food out of supermarket boxes and deep frying it in oil that is overdue for a change, are subjected to a naive totalitarian regime by virtue of having to come to work and follow directions (or lack thereof) in order to collect a pay check.

Though not a perfect segue, it is segue enough for me to then suggest that you probably live in, and under some kind of totalitarian regime. I assert this because I think most employers and most family units are going to be characterised by naive totalitarianism, because of our shared propensity toward naive totalitarianism.

Most employers, and many families have an authoritarian structure, even if the authoritarians lack real power - like parents of adult children whose offspring go no contact - a large subject on its own, but the gist of which is that people become more set in their ways as they age, we tend to rethink less and parents get cut off because they treat their preferences as non-negotiable.

The All Important Monopoly Boardgame

My table-top and role-playing gaming friends appear to actively hate "Monopoly" and the place it occupies as the pre-eminent family boardgame.

And Monopoly does suck and has a surprising propensity to associate itself with nefarity. You may consider just this section but a mere first draft for a project I plan to use to venture into the overcrowded marketplace of economics explainers. Here an excerpt from Monopoly's wikipedia page:

The winner is the player remaining after all others have gone bankrupt.

In many ways humanity at present faces two major existential threats everyone is largely tired of hearing about - nuclear annihilation and climate catastrophe. The former involves us collectively resisting the urge to wipe ourselves out through nuclear warfare, and most people are under-anxious about this prospect given a recent return of 'dickheads' as heads of state of nuclear powers like the US, Russia, China and Israel that give off a "fuck y'all I've got mine" vibe. 

The latter, climate catastrophe we are also likely under-anxious about but not for lack of trying, the anxiety just manifests as a 'freeze' response rather than fight or flight because unfortunately, unlike nuclear annihilation for which freezing prevents the threat, climate catastrophe involves en-masse lifestyle changes.

But I am increasingly of the opinion that we cannot take collective action on climate change at global or local levels because there are other problems in the way, and the "monopoly mindset" is a big one. 

In a "lucky country" like Australia that is prosperous and safe, there's a reputation that everything here is trying to kill you. That you walk under a tree and a bear will drop onto you, you walk along a beach and pick up a pretty shell that is in fact a cone fish which stabs you causing you to stumble and fall into a rock pool where a blue ring octopus poisons you disorienting you so you walk out into the water through the tendrils of a box-jellyfish before a shark takes a bite out of your leg making you easy prey for the saltwater crocodile that passes on the shark since you already are bleeding out and munches on you as the rip-current drags you out to sea beyond rescue and you console yourself that you would have died from skin-cancer early anyway but you'll sure miss your home among the constantly on fire gumtrees.

That's all just Australian's pulling your leg, drop bears are a myth and the deadly sun, fire season, snakes, spiders, kangaroos, emus, jellyfish, shellfish, octopuses, platypuses, crocodiles, stingrays, birds et all are perfectly safe so long as you get nowhere near them. 

What most Australians have to contend with is living in a society where everyone approaches life like a monopoly game they are trying to win. 

Now the conventional wisdom in Australia more takes the form of "bankrupt or be bankrupted" hence people are urged to get a flimsy pretext of a job in order to mortgage themselves up to the eyeballs as quickly as possible, a strategy we are so good at that the age at which people purchase their first home is getting older and older under the auspices of this common sense.

The Australian public sector ie. the taxpayer invented Wifi at the CSIRO, and of course the achievements of the Australian private sector are even more impressive...

...

...

...Crocodile Dundee and Mad Max?

So the naive totalitarianism comes in because Australia is a country where unfortunately everyone is trying to "win" a zero-sum game. Which is why monopoly the boardgame is important, because after you win by bankrupting everyone else, not only is the game over but everyone hates you.

Monopoly is a false analogy for an economy but its enduring appeal to the frustration of actual boardgame enthusiasts, I suspect is its appeal to our naive totalitarianism, our psychology that evolved over at least a hundred and fifty thousand years of being homeless people, where if we asked our ancestors "what did you accomplish today?" and they answered "well I woke up, had a snack, lay around for a bit, fixed myself lunch, felt tired, had a nap, got up but felt groggy so masturbated to wake myself up, ate some berries, lit a fire and went to sleep." their peers would regard this as an incredibly productive day and we would think it had all the hallmarks of depression.

We used to be so economically unproductive that being totalitarian, trying to "win" at life was pretty harmless, just like in 2025 there are still groups of people who live hunter gatherer lifestyles, and we can see some life-supporting plant that belongs to a nomadic tribe who are all like "fuck off this is ours and if you pick a fruit we'll kill you." and this totalitarian desire to control this resource and dictate who may and who cannot benefit from it does not become a geopolitical issue unless that plant sits on the proposed path of an oil or gas pipeline. 

But a majority of humans now belong to nation-states, and people treat them not as an infinite game where we co-operate to keep the game going, a game whose gains are all based on cooperation to build open and tolerant societies, but a zero-sum game where the in-group needs to take control and force the outgroup out.

For the last decade I've been experiencing painfully the colonial irony of what right-wing commentators have come to call "wokeness" and left-wing people have continually disowned any labels in order to shirk accountability. A political disposition that is overwhelmingly white and colonial in vibes. An obvious example being "Latinx" a New England exonym non-violently imposed upon everyone from the long and diverse histories of Latin American colonies-come-independent nations by institutions like PBS and the Democratic Party for the benefit of their benefactors.

Obligatory acknowledgement that an increasingly Christian-nationalist right, and global totalitarian counterparts (eg. Han supremacy in China and Taiwan, Aryan supremacists in India, Japanese supremacy in Japan et al.) practice their own cancel culture and identity politics and muster no-more-if-not-less dignity about it. 

But its all monopoly, its trying to seize territory whether it is literal "Autonomous Zones" or linguistic territory regarding pronouns for exclusive use by an in-group that is trying to drive the out-group bankrupt.

I am not a libertarian, but I aspire to be non-totalitarian by saying nothing can be imposed without public consultation. A more general way of saying this is everything has to be up for discussion to be the constructive and productive least-worst ideal of government by the people, of the people, for the people.

Alas, instead of trying to keep the game going by making it fun for as many people as possible, we naively are too often, trying to win.

Where do they go

What then, is the null-hypothesis, on an individual basis for totalitarianism? The null hypothesis is one that if true, means you cannot accept your thesis. So like if your hypothesis is "all quadrupeds are cats" there's nothing to stop me from conducting experiment after experiment where I count cat or kitten legs to confirm my hypothesis. But a null hypothesis would be "some quadrupeds are not cats." for which a single observation of a dog or cow or goat or sheep or mouse etc. is sufficient to force me to accept the null-hypothesis and throw out my thesis.

For naive totalitarianism, and I'm grabbing at air here, but picture your 'enemy' the bad people, the worst people.

For me, it's a psychological archetype, hard to express but my most succinct attempt would be "wanton mediocrity" that's my enemy, basically the kind of society Joe from Netflix series "YOU" is trying to romantically infiltrate every season: vacuous, pretentious and assuming.

That's the demographic I am most tempted to round up and eliminate to make the whole world better, except being a psychological profile, may refer to 90% of the global population. 

If you are a socialist/communist it may be billionaires.

If you are a conservative it might be liberals or immigrants.

If you are a liberal it might be conservatives or bigots.

If you are a feminist it might be mediocre white men.

If you are a "manosphere" guy it might be blue haired lesbian feminists.

And when I say 'world' it need not be global, you may be advocating for 'greater diversity'* in a microcosm, like your organisation. I feel the test that falsifies naive totalitarianism is if you have some provision for your ostensible outgroup. 

*(Australian journalist Antoinette Lattouf was foisted on my attention when our national broadcaster ABC fired her for criticising Isreal and she successfully sued them for unfair dismissal. Her TEDxSydney talk provides a great example of how a strategy of 'advocating greater diversity' can be totalitarian. In her talk she refers to research findings from Deloitte indicating the benefits of diversity for productivity and performance, but her presentation omits the detail that these benefits of diversity are contingent on 'diversity of thought' aka heterodoxy - as such, you may achieve better performance by assembling teams containing a right-wing straight white male and a left-wing straight white male than assembling a team of South Asian, East Asian, West African, North African, Sub-Saharan African, Southern European, Northern European, Middle Eastern, South American, Central American and North American graduates from Columbia University liberal arts degrees.)

At first blush, I myself have no provisions for the "wanton mediocre" I just at some level idealise them being "out of the way" like if they weren't to enter Marathons because they overvalue them and underprepare for them, I'd be living in a better world where I don't have to submit to a ballot to see if I get a place or lose it to someone who does park run occasionally and maxes their training out at 10km for a 42.2km "prestige" event. But then multiply that out by the entire market.

I don't really know what the mediocre do and where they go once their wantonness has been thwarted. Its beyond my computational power.

At the same time, for my prejudice the provision is pretty simple - this demographic goes from overconsuming scarce resources, to consuming an appropriate amount of resources. They go from having 3 real properties to 1, they use their annual leave to rent a beach house a few hours drive away instead of flying halfway around the planet to visit the latest instagramable fetishised hotspot, they walk to the shops instead of driving, when they are driving they take the next exit instead of it being socially acceptable to do a 3-point turn anywhere, anytime etc.

To tie it in to my previous post about naive chauvinism - I am a cyclist. As a cyclist in Melbourne I find 'shared pathways' annoying, where a path typically with a line painted down the middle of it is available for both pedestrians and cyclists. I would like to see an apartheid where both groups are catered for, parallel paths - one for walkers and joggers and one for cyclists, skaters, roller-bladers as exists along the beaches of Port Phillip Bay.

I would accept the null-hypothesis regarding my own totalitarianism because I make provision for pedestrians, and my moral character may deserve no credit because recognizing that peds need infrastructure is just a practical reality. Every cyclist is also a pedestrian, you just subtract the bike, but you need a bike to be a cyclist. Peds will only stop crowding out and obstructing cyclists if they are given their own infrastructure.

But drivers, especially if car-brained are often totalitarian regarding cycling infrastructure. I am often surprised by the antipathy plebs feel for cyclists, like they are the greatest menace since St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I come across totalitarian drivers that simply want cycling infrastructure destroyed so cyclists will stop cycling and get a car like a contributor to society.

That's naive totalitarianism - cars for all and fuck bike lanes. Now lets wade into less intuitive domains -

If for example, you are advocating for greater representation at an existing organisation, that is owned and operated by demographic majority of your locale and has historically hired people that look like the ownership, it is very counterintuitive that an egalitarian organisation would hire "Scot from Scotts College in Scotiaville" and you are instead like 'hiring needs to stop hiring Scot from Scotts College in Scotiaville, and start hiring Fatima from Happy Valley Technical Institute with Fatima's Syndrome' and the recruiting staff are like 'so should we interview Scot from Scotts College?" and you are like "sure, but the obstacle to equity is that we keep ignoring candidates immutable characteristics and focusing on systemic advantages like a) whether the person is already known to the organization through affiliation, and b) qualifications, experience and credentials from reputable institutions. He need not apply because we need greater representation so he isn't going to get the job, or if he does that'll be the exception because we need more Fatimas and Americas and Sun Moons and Carmens and Faiths, and we need more on the board and in the C-suite so Scot's career paths will be narrow..." and then I am asking "but where does Scot from Scotts College work? What does he pursue in life?" and if you're like "not my problem." I'm sorry, but that's naive totalitarianism, not social justice.

Then in that individual case, I'd have to reject the null hypothesis. You have succumbed to naive totalitarianism.

Now importantly, I pick the above example, because I suspect that it is a caricature of the left that people will recognize. I am not suggesting that campaigns to inject diversity in the workplace have been that effective in real world practice. If there's any basis for it, it may be slightly harder for young members of ethnic majorities to get work than maybe 20 years ago when nobody was even making overtures toward diversity and representation and you could just full blown run an old-boys club. And it is more likely that getting a job, even for graduates is simply harder for everyone because technology has made the art of recruitment harder and worse, not better and more efficient.

(It is an aside, but in my opinion the adverse impact of email has been a greater dampner on white male employability than social justice because a) it lowered the cost of applying to any given job. and more crucially b) it got rid of the mail room, effectively sawing off the entry level rungs of organisational ladders, meaning in the past you could get a job out of highschool and if you were bright and not a dickhead the company would notice you and give you some real responsibilities, now you need to get into a University course that simulates work experience and has a work integrated learning program where they place you into organisations the institution partners with, to do free labour in the hopes of getting hired.)

The point of the example is the "not my problem" part, which say, right-wing Christian nationalists may be doing in regards to refugees, shaking their fist and saying "you can't come here we're full!" and someone says "well they can't really stay where they were and live, so where do they go?" 

"Not my problem" means we reject the null hypothesis, you're a naive totalitarian because you are operating the software that came with your computer that seems to tend toward "there's good people and bad people and we just need to identify and exclude the bad people."

The Job(s) of a Functioning Democracy

Democracy is non-totalitarian, when it functions. 

I have recently been thinking of it this way:

I think back to my highschool cohort. I was in a graduating class of roughly 100 students. As an individual citizen, I was mostly focused on my own performance, my own results and my own future. The job of a head of state though, is to be concerned with the performance, results and future of everyone (at least short-term futures).

Where it was my job to complete my exams that allowed me to become a billionaire astronaut cowboy, I didn't have to think about what would happen to the students that did not do well, there is nothing stopping the individual student from putting blinkers on and charging through any peer pressure to enjoy some portion of their youth being a teenager with an unhealthy worldview that their options are: medical school or commit suicide.

But, and it's a little complicated because the timelines aren't in sync, the whole graduating (and non-graduating) class cohort becomes the workload of democratic leaders at some point.

First by timeline, its 2025 some percentage of students are finishing up high-school by quitting school, this in my jurisdiction includes people who are 16 and up, so not just those completing final year. There are also tertiary students that are finishing degrees that are oversupplied for the employment opportunities, the classic being Marine Biology but has at times been teachers (in 2025 they are in a shortage again). A large part of our education system, can be regarded as an analogue for 'Buy Now Pay Later' (BNPL) whereby the qualification/certification has little to no relevance to what that person will wind up doing.

Indeed, plenty who complete a degree in their early twenties, will retrain for a career transition in their late twenties proving 90s animation icon Daria prescient with her "my dream for the future is to not wake up at 40 in a cold sweat because I was forced to decide what to do with my life when I was a teenager." or something.

But basically the government is going to be faced at any given time with a bunch of people entering the workforce and a democracy is distinctly not totalitarian when functioning, if there's a bunch of young people in a regional urban center who finish highschool but do not go onto further study, the government generally scrambles to offer a tax incentive to a mining company or manufacturer to set up shop in that region so they can employ these people who are like "Bachelor degree...nah."

At the same time, in maybe a metropolitan urban center, you get a bunch of kids who do not want to be the kind of kid that doesn't at least go to University for a bachelors degree, not before you have a chance to lose touch with your peer group and so will do an arts degree at a third tier institution and maybe go into a depression that it isn't even one of the "big three" or whatever, but nevertheless complete it and it is the job of the government in a functional democracy to have call centres and hospitality and service industry jobs for these people until they can find themselves and retrain or whatever.

The government might also scramble to expand the legal liabilities of employers so they need to take on more employees to work "bullshit jobs" in administrative capacities, box-checking and duct taping and maybe even being goons to each other. Furthermore they may operate a tax-incentive program where a company effectively ends up with "consulting and training" coupons they can spend on third party service contracts that have almost nothing to do with the production of social goods by a firm but the firms have a choice between giving $200k to a consulting group that runs a fun off-site strategy session with no meaningful outcomes beyond a 'vibe' rather than a) fund healthcare, education, law & order, infrastructure etc through paying taxes as a % of profits nor b) distribute some of those profits to workers via significant wage increases which shareholders hate because it is an ongoing liability.

Strictly speaking a democratic government can also not function, they can put pressure on people to find their own jobs by making welfare or social security harder to obtain, they can cut public expenditure so the private sector doesn't have to compete with the public sector, they can neglect whole constituencies they just don't feel they can win over not at any price they are willing to pay via polarization and particularly by trying to create single issue voters and moving towards extremes that increase switching costs for voters.

So a democratic government may cease to function democratically and migrate toward totalitarianism by abolishing a law that creates a modest incentive not to discriminate in employment against people based on immutable qualities. Such that suddenly you have a bunch of recent migrants maybe who cannot find legal employment in industries that have low skill thresholds due to them receiving their education offshore. And these people also have their welfare cut off because the government isn't looking after this constituency to appease another. And some create jobs through entrepreneurial efforts but not everyone can start an Ethiopian restaurant near where the community can afford to live so many create income through crime which can then be pointed to and asserted "look, this crime can't be caused by too-high barriers to legal economic opportunities in this country, it must be the pigment of their skin or some other character flaw that leads to failure to assimilate."

But similarly and far more exceptionally, we can see maybe in industries like the arts a reversal of historic trends that sadly does nothing to repair an already determined past, but you have like a theatre company that just will not commission work from a historically dominant constellation of immutable qualities like (among playwrights) being a heterosexual or homosexual white man with merely ADHD. And you might go to the companies board of directors and find photos of that exact group expressing their commitment to Diversity and Equity and it doesn't mean the established parties are going to give up their careers in the name of diversity, but what can be done is putting a freeze on hiring/promoting anybody that looks like the board.

This is presented as what I believe to be a false dilemma between "equality of opportunity" and "equality of outcome" for functional "equality of opportunity" applied to the whole pipeline should in time lead to equality of outcome at the population level, the tricky thing (as the past decade has proved to be the tricky thing) is if you have a product to sell at the market, getting equal opportunity out of consumer preferences. Furthermore, we operate under a "Kitchen Nightmares" economy where the people who own the restaurant set the menu, and the people who mostly inherit wealth get to decide what risks are taken through 'entrepreneurship.'

To be clear, "equality of outcome" is not totalitarian, but "equality of outcome NOW" is totalitarianism, where you just force the outputs regardless of inputs. Furthermore, I have not heard people really tackle the full sentence of "equality of outcome for sexists and racists." or whether such character flaws mean you are simply excluded from provision, which is totalitarian. 

A functional democracy will give sexists and racists a vote, but this participation cannot lead to a "tyranny of the majority" so long as the democracy functions by having institutions that limit the powers of an elected government. This point is one I don't have any confidence an unedited vox populi segment on a satirical news show would establish as common sense.

Which is to say, that I think what is common sense is a notion that sexists and racists should be denied a vote to protect vulnerable people from racist and sexist laws being passed. What common sense is not I assert, is that sexists and racists can vote but passing racist and sexist laws is likely to be struck down by separate branches of government (as happened when Trump's "muslim ban" executive order was deemed unconstitutional) now, yes, non-naive totalitarians, ie. totalitarians will attempt to dismantle the institutions that limit totalizing, but a functional democracy has these institutions. It isn't a matter of one totalizing force of good overcoming another totalizing force of evil.

Poppers Paradoxical Remedy

20th century philosopher of science I feel clearly articulated the central challenge of running a democracy, or rather, an open and tolerant society.

A tolerant society cannot tolerate, intolerance. That's the paradox. The one totalizing exception for which there is historically insufficient will - which is to say you will probably see advocacy groups for more tolerant societies calling on young people to "call out their racist uncle" at thanksgiving/christmas a call that needs to be made because most of us would rather avoid conflict than stamp out totalitarian views, just like youtubers have to ask you to "smash that like button, hit subscribe and turn on notifications" like you don't know how to do it by now, but they keep saying it because people don't.

The big data set that relates the paradox of tolerance to naive totalitarianism is of course religion.

If you don't know me by now, I'm an atheist, and also, an igtheist (or ignostic) which is to say, if you tell me you believe in god, I will tell you that I don't know what you are talking about. My ignosticism likely even goes further, in that I don't believe generally that you know what you are talking about.

Where we will have common ground, is that I believe neither of us believes in "freedom of religion." For example, odds are neither of us preference or privelege the laws set down by the creator of the universe over the laws of the land. We don't really have freedom of religion, if you think god talks to you and told you to commit murder and then you murdered a bunch of people, most legal systems don't rule "well we think revelation is a perfectly legitimate epistemology, and we recognise that the opinions of a supernatural entity overrule the opinions of the state."

And you have numerous examples in day to day life, like migrants who come from religious communities where bigamy and polygamy are legal don't have (all of) their marriages recognised in destinations where such practices are illegal, nor child brides, and sometimes marriages to first cousins. Just as conversely one may potentially move to, or transit through a territory where the law doesn't recognize same-sex marriages.

But the latter example being evidence that some states don't have "freedom of religion" is not evidence that other states do. We can reframe this as only theocratic states are states where people are free to practice at least one religion, and nowhere else can anyone actually practice a religion. (Theocratic states like Iran also don't, I suspect, function very well, so a woman having her hair on display might result in morality police beating her to death, but a prominent politician may be known to do lines of cocaine off the buttocks of prostitutes and face no investigation nor legal repercussions.)

I'm most familiar with the Abrahamic religions, that have numerous sects that cannot be freely practiced by taking scripture seriously because any lucid reading of the scripture is one of intolerance, or perhaps some would be more comfortable with me putting it as a prescriptive holistic approach to life.

People get in a tizzy when people use "literal" to mean "figurative" and that prestigious dictionaries started documenting this popular usage. Yet, "freedom of religion" is in my opinion, similarly egregious because we actually mean "freedom from religion" at least in regards to monotheism.

It becomes hard now to not talk in pure truisms, for example what makes cultures multicultural is their intolerance of monocultures...duh! Democracy functions as a "utopia-thwarting institution" and its success derives from how frustrating it is in imposing compromise on people.

Institutions like "free speech" are explicitly utopia-thwarting. Southpark's Kyle Brovlovski is Jewish because his parents are Jewish, Stan Marsh is not Jewish because his parents aren't Jewish (though they gave Mormonism a one episode try) and they are best friends. When Eric Cartmen sings "Kyle's mom's a bitch" this is remarkably similar in emotional impact to reasonable criticism of any and all religion given that it remains among the strongest predictors of adult religiosity are things like geography, and the religion + religiosity of your parents.

As such, for many religious people, I quickly came to recognize that questioning core beliefs, or questioning at all elicited the same emotional responses in believers as telling them their mum's lasagne sucks, that classical music is boring etc. 2010's "Judeo-Christian" apologists Jordan Peterson and Tom Holland who make ambiguous "Wagner is better than it sounds" arguments for Christianity also leave me with an overwhelming sense that they defend Christianity more so for emotional reasons than the compulsion of reason, for them I suspect it is some profound familial connection that leads them to making the investment of time and energy into mental gymnastics to defend crusader impulses.

Freedom of religion + Abrahamic religions looks like the fucking crusades. Crusaders are people free to act out their religiosity fighting to the death over possession of the "holy land" in a conflict that continues right up to the present day - progress largely being that "we" have gotten the costs somewhat under control largely by not having the Church but the state collect taxes and while some of this may provide astronomical levels of funding to military conflicts in the middle east, some at least now gets spent on shit like education and healthcare, law enforcement, infrastructure, bailing out our boneheaded economic bubbles etc.

A father-son crusade however about three days before I write this sentence appear to have decided to take their religion seriously and went and shot dead 16 innocent people at Bondi Beach including children and I am not going to do justice to the human suffering inflicted. This is where someone like Sam Harris would be at pains to point out that lucid readings of scripture heavily favour that acts of terrorism like this are what it means to seriously believe a religion, I believe he expressed it in the truism "the problem with Islamic fundamentalism, are the fundamentals of Islam." Though I haven't been paying attention, but do not believe that he articulates this out equally to a character like Benjamin Netanyahu, who at the very least appears to entertain Jewish fundamentalism. 

But not to single out any one of the Abrahamic faiths, youtuber Prophet of Zod has a pretty accessible and comprehensive description about how most people pretend to be a believer albeit he is singling out American Christianity. There is also journalist A.J. Jacobs account of trying to live in accordance with the bible for a year "the year of living biblically" from which he offers an observation that:

A critique of fundamentalism. I became the ultra-fundamentalist. I found that fundamentalists may claim to take the Bible literally, but they actually just pick and choose certain rules to follow. By taking fundamentalism extreme, I found that literalism is not the best way to interpret the Bible.

So A.J would likely even lump 'fundamentalists' in as essentially doing what Zod's archetypal 'Mike' does.

Civilization's great achievement where and when it is achieved, is having the prevailing religious belief be one in a soupy-kind-of-god, that they do not so much believe in, but rather believes in them, taking the form of the society the believers grew up in, condoning its shared beliefs, shared rituals and shared practices voicelessly like the puddle takes the shape of the depression it sits in. 

In this way, modern secular societies like Australia, Canada, EU and UK, Japan, Korea and according to CCTV4 China also, people are free to practice a narrower bandwidth of available religiosity that excludes totalising religiosity. But we are not free (nor should we be) to take seriously the idea that the ultimate authority revealed to some guy the ultimate truth as to how to live one's life in any way where a literal interpretation of what it fucking says is any defence in a court of law. 

All that is permitted is 'exegesis' which is a critical interpretation of the text, elstwise in the 21st century we have to open up debate again in deference to freedom of religion as to whether all forms of slavery, genocide and sexism are permissible and furthermore given that we have multiple ultimate truths to choose from, we'd be obliged to duke it out. 

Bringing this back to Popper's paradox of tolerance, we used to have religious totalitarianism. Catholic Spain exiled the Jews from the Iberian peninsula and the Ottoman's took them in. Prior to that the Kingdom of England in 1209 issued "the Edict of Expulsion" the first European territory to expel Jews from its lands and resettlement didn't occur until the 1650s. (Shakespeare managed to write 'The Merchant of Venice' when Jews couldn't openly practice in his entire lifetime, and possibly himself and probably his entire audiences at the Globe had never met a Jew.)

In the meantime, Catholics and Protestants duked it out brutally and we also had dark episodes of taking religion as a serious totality like Imperial Japan treating Hirohito as a living god, the Irish troubles having colonialism divide along religious lines, Jonestown massacre, the Heaven's Gate cult suicide etc. through to Bin Laden's attack on the World Trade Center twin towers ending the end of history and wetting appetites around the world for the naive totalitarianism that fuels the crusades.

Civilization, if it is anything, is the process of building institutions that assume the answers are unknown and that carry out with some modicum of efficiency and finger-crossing a systemic thwarting of all attempts by everyone to fix everything with their myopic conception of what needs doing.

Good guys and Bad guys at Sports

Sports is a domain where we can agree, that sports are not as consequential as say, military conflict. Sports seldom rack up a death-toll, disrupt global supply chains, destroy wealth, drive rapid technological innovation and bankrupt nation-states. 

When I started writing this section, I thought I was going to make a pretty straightforward comparison between the totalitarian attitudes of "indoor kids" vs "outdoor kids" how either can fall into a totalizing trap of seeing the other as defective somehow in a way that perhaps grows up to map onto the extremes of the right and left political spectrums.

Inadvertantly though, I found an example too perfect of "indoor kids" being totalitarian. I chose a video from "Books and Cats" purely from the name of the channel and largely for aesthetic reasons to suggest a reductive stereotype about someone in high school that maybe resented the celebration of athletes without having any appreciation of the merits of competitive sports.

This stereotype straw-man I was then going to counter with Kobe Bean Bryant:


The point being, at the elite level sports are made great by exclusion.

Let me put it this way, a little kid starts out on a balance bike or training wheels. Eventually though, the most of us that can ride a bike, put our faith in inertia and start riding a bike.

Now let's posit another level - which is somewhere between the age of 12~15 kids who ride bikes, need to basically get the fuck off the footpath and start riding on the road, which these days have more bike lanes and cycling infrastructure. 

In adulthood proper, you have to face at some point cycling at night with lights, and cycling in the rain if you want to use cycling for commuting.

While there is something to be said for building cycling specific infrastructure to make cycling safer and more convenient and encourage more people to do it, there will always be a hardcore elite of cycling that wants to ride their bikes on intercity roads, in national parks, off of cliffs.

And at the elitemost of sports, we are going to find our most elite athletes who want literally the opposite of a safe and inclusive environment. They are there to try and perform under the most adverse conditions of physical and psychological punishment, in order to get more joy.

Hence Kobe describes being bullied by big kids Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman as "This was fun".

This is the kind of Gen-X feminism counterargument to naive totalitarianism, that we have people who want to play not just the game, but the meta-game which includes cheating, includes double-standards (in the NBA it is pretty much an established fact that star players get favourable calls) but to what end? What social good is produced from these oddities who want to be free to be bullied?

It is hard for me to convey, I can only make a subjective argument. We know Kobe wound up having one of the most storied careers, with only Tim Duncan rivalling him and Michael Jordan clearly eclipsing him. But I'd submit just this short highlight reel as evidence that Kobe's game expanded the frontiers of human possibility.

Fancy footwork to spin around defenders and bank in shots will probably be lost on someone who compares it to splitting the atom or unifying physics. Just consider that homo sapiens have been "anatomically modern" for 125,000 years. Approximately one of them has moved as Kobe did, but it is unlikely he will be the last. His innovation isn't quantum either, it didn't come out of nowhere, we have beyond Kobe's own book, literal hours of testimony as to Kobe's "mamba mentality" his competitive obsession with basketball, initially imitating Jordan, then changing his shot based on Tiger Woods changing his golf stroke, changing his shoes after watching soccer-players low-top shoes not result in greater ankle injuries, learning low-post moves from Hakeem Olajuwan etc. etc. 

Fundamentally though, in opposition to totalitarian pedagogy that wants to create safe, fun and inclusive environments, what allowance is there for a kid who wants to go straight from high school into the NBA when he isn't the tallest, isn't the fastest, isn't the strongest etc. his entire career, he just wants to go up against the toughest competition and take it extremely seriously.

Here we are presented with a paradox of inclusivity, we cannot include a diverse range of human personality, if we do not have exclusive spaces for those whose self-actualization, for whom living their truth, means they need to go up against only the .001% of the athletically elite. 

By definition, competitive sports need institutions that say to most people 'sorry kid, you can't come in here' and the alternative, the work-around is uncompetitive sports.

But alas, this is totalitarian, you are making no provision for the people who love competition, who love competitive sports. Essentially insisting that in Utopia they must function with a hand break on.

Books and Fig-leafing

Inertia and not nostalgia is why I generally go back to high school politics, because pretty much all of my life experience suggests that while it isn't ironclad, the way to bet is that most people's politics don't get more sophisticated than what they survived off in high-school. This is also a series on naive psychology, so of course if people are still thinking this way at 40 and thought this way at 5 then we can trawl through high school for examples.

High school for most of the 20th century, and at least the early 21st century forced kids to do sports. A few kids are really good at it, most are mediocre and a few kids are bad at it, possessing little cardio-vascular fitness or hand-eye coordination or reflexes.

20th Century Cinema, dominated in the Anglo-sphere by hollywood popularised the concept of "the jock" typically a local football hero, who was celebrated by the community typically for being the biggest fish in a small pond where even on the silver screen, jocks are rarely depicted as having any real prospect of going pro. Where the "nerds" in such movies often have very bright prospects for their future earning potential, but are not celebrated, not desired, but marginalised.  

Giving us a dichotomy of "outdoor" kids, the jocks and cheerleaders, and "indoor kids" the drama kids, the band kids and the bookworms.

Because of the aforementioned marginalisation of nerds, or indoor kids that prevailed in popular culture. Now drawing on my own superficial bigotry, to find an example of totalitarianism coming from the "indoor kids" I just judged a youtube channel by, not so much its cover, but it's name "books and cats" the odds that this channel would spend any time discussing Kobe Bryant's sporting legacy seemed small. It also suggested someone proudly leaning in to a bookish stereotype. 

I had just picked like the most recently published video to watch, but this then got Books and Cats into Youtube's proprietary and super sophisticated algorithm that uses advanced technology to show me more of what I had just watched. So I came across a video titled "The Roald Dahl Edits are fine, actually" from which I will now excerpt the transcript and I will embolden the totalising language within. 

But this form of aggression, this reaction  that we see from GB news et al, is not ok; and I’d bet it has very little to do with  protecting free speech, or protecting history.

It’s censorship in brute form: it’s a bid  for control from those who shout loudest,   who mock, who bully, who punch down,  and who do so to silence the rest.

You might be left thinking: but how do  we know when censorship has gone too far?  I think it’s easy to be like ‘surely everything  offends somebody, how can we possibly police this?’ And yes, think of a thing and there’s  probably someone out there who is offended by   it. But to rest on that argument, to do nothing  when people say or do hateful and hurtful things, to make no changes, to refuse to evolve, is a form  of passivity that means no progress is ever made.

There are some nursery rhymes that were  changed so long ago that we- so many of  us don't remember what their original words were. 

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe."  It wasn't originally tiger it was [the] n-word.  And there are a number of these classic Rhymes that in their original iterations would  be very offensive to the Contemporary ear. Now, she raises this point, and he brushes it off  and it’s never revisited. But it’s an important concern to raise. Look back at the kinds of things  children said, did, played with fifty years ago, and there are things that, I would bet, most  people would agree are not appropriate today.

Ultimately, I’m in two minds about how much  the Dahl edits matter. How effective they will be at making children feel more included, I don’t  know. But language is important, and making moves towards a more inclusive and diverse literary  canon in small ways is important work, even   though it might not seem as urgent as tackling  other, louder, more obvious issues of inequality.

Puffin seems to have closed the case, and the  rage seems to be dying down. But I hope that   whether you agree or disagree about the value of  the edits, and whatever you believe about editing literature in general, you can avoid this kind of  nonsense, and engage in a respectful conversation.   But what about your relationship to Roald  Dahl? I think it’s likely that, for some of us, part of the anger over the edits comes from  a passionate love of the books. What do we do if something we love, have loved since  childhood, is deemed outdated or bigoted?

 Now, I don't include this to take a stance on the Roald Dahl edits in the specific, it is included to bolster my claim that totalitarian attitudes are fairly innate, to the point of naive. 

Generally, I'd say I'm unconvinced by fig-leafing/bowdlerization of texts. This is largely because I am tentatively persuaded that media effects are weak. Certainly relatively weak. And Books and Cats in my example, incidently provides an example - Eenie Meenie was bowdlerized before I ever heard it. I learned much later what "Tiger" was a substitute for at a point where I was no longer a child and no longer used the rhyme to determine who would start off as "it" at recess.

Other problematized cultural artefacts had also been figleafed, such that at the turn of the century, when I first came across the dubbed cartoon of Japanese serialized comic "One Piece" I was surprised to learn from wikipedia that the US company that dubbed the first few seasons for English speaking audiences, not only changed the character Sanji's cigarette to a lollypop for all his scenes, but recoloured black characters that Japanese artists like One Piece creator Eichiro Oda and Dragonball creator Akira Toriyama to pick just two of the bestselling creators, but by no means the worst offenders. 

But just because ethno-nationalist state Japan was 50 years behind US, UK, Canada and Australia in retiring the gollywog aesthetic, I'm going to guess that despite this "important work" being begun "so long ago many of us don't remember" the idea that it is "important work" can somehow sit with concerns that racism and bigotry are on the rise.

Jeepers that took too long, the stuff I've bolded in the transcript excerpt, are broadly just assertions, totalizing language. As is the video title itself "...are fine, actually" the video essayist, is simply asserting that the edits are fine. 

The essayist, takes a strong principled stance, but they don't argue for it, they don't justify it. I have linked to the source video-essay if you feel so inclined to check it out, but the essay proceeds like a later subject in an educational course, where it is presumed you've already done the classes where we learned why that principled stance is justified.

The oldest videos on the channel begin about 3 years ago, and start with a video titled "Who was John Keats?" Keats was a Romantic Poet who died age 25 and shot to fame posthumously. I don't think Keats originated any ideas about literary criticism, media effects, post modernism, post structuralism and techniques or methodologies like 'close reading.'

Mercifully, Books and Cats, which I am at pains to remind, I am picking on merely as an example of "indoor kid" totalitarianism; turns out to not have many videos, so with a shallow reading of the 47 video titles at writing, I strongly suspect that an actual survey of the channel content would never establish the legitimacy of the project asserted in the Roald Dahl video.

In other words, the video essay is an essay intended for "us" an internal communication. It makes no effort to avoid Hitchen's Razor - "that which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence" it is for me, particularly totalitarian in that its assertions to me, simply appeal to what "everybody knows" and I myself have little more than "vibes" as to what Books and Cats assumes everybody knows.

In the fact that the essayist feels no obligation to establish the case for all the assertions in bold, but holds them to be self-evident, presupposes the counterpart to assertions - dismissal. I can make a prediction that anyone who might post as a comment an argument that bigots should be free to express their opposition to fig-leafing Roald Dahl can simply be dismissed as some kind of subhuman. My perusal of the first 20 or so top comments indicated that the channel is likely simply a silo or echo chamber. This in turn is likely to be due to Youtube channels being capitalist artefacts.

Rebecca Watson is a youtuber that has had some profile (particularly in "New Atheist" circles) for some time and strikes me as a fairly "indoor" type, she also strikes me as reasonably totalitarian in her views, as in there's us and them, we the reasonable good people and them the bigoted idiots. I learn stuff from Rebecca and find her unpleasant, but often worth listening to. Not as an authority, but as a distinct commentator who can help me approach understanding things better.

Anyway, here's an excerpt from a video she made that I feel also hits my vibes of totalitarianism:

I don't often talk about trans women in sports because I just don't think there's much to say besides this is a stupid wedge issue involving a handful of trans people playing a game and literally no one should care about it. But people do keep caring about it against my will, likely because transphobes know it's a stupid wedge issue that they can constantly bring up and trick people into thinking they should care about it.

For me, again though the video is about the IOCs ruling on whether transwomen can compete in women's Olympic competitions, I just pick it out actually because while the subject of the video is a criticism of the IOCs bigoted position against trans women, and argues that by permitting trans men to compete against women the IOC is endangering cis women (I haven't watched the whole video) I pull the quote as an example of a totalitarian diminishing of the importance of sport. Again, this is merely the vibe I get from Rebecca, that she is someone who perhaps just thinks sports are stupid, a past time of them, the "outdoor kids" who perhaps, pray to God for success in football.

As a sports fan, it is trivial for me to recognise that Rebecca's strong assertion that "literally no one should care about it" is a parochial totalitarian statement of wilful ignorance. Now someone like Rebecca may feel forced by her own wording, to condescend to comment on the sporting world only insofar as it overlaps with a form of bigotry, but to me her statement is the equivalent of asserting that the "gather-step" rule in basketball is a stupid issue and literally no one should care about it. 

Sports I would argue, are often an exercise in "simulated-realism" as in, what they mostly tap into is a simulation of war, be it chess, football, polo, basketball. Clearly, many sports across the world emerged as means by which to practice martial skills. Wrestling, discuss, shot put, caber tossing, chariot racing, horse racing, archery, foot races, rowing etc.

However, it's a continuum, a continuum sport and war are both on. If you didn't know, war has rules. Mustard Gas is banned, you can't attack the red cross, there are knives that are band because the wounds they inflict can't be stitched up. As at writing, news stories are being generated daily by the tweets of an ignoramus who doesn't realise he is threatening Iran with war crimes like blowing up water infrastructure.

We've already established, that Kobe operated outside the rules of basketball, and he loved going up against world champions Rodman and Jordan who also were not above operating outside the rules of basketball. All three are pre the "gather step" era, fans of the prior era are often dismissed as "old heads" for complaining about the "gather step" rule change resulting in NBA highlight videos where we are supposed to celebrate a play where Lebron or Ant or Harden take 7 steps as they drive to the rim. But most of what I see are people posing an argument that taking 7 steps is unimpressive on the same basis as someone breaking the 100m sprint record by riding a drag motorcycle is unimpressive, and pointing out that Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins didn't even travel in the NBA Slam Dunk contests, only taking two steps, no "gather" step.

Sports are not easy to understand, Chess has some of the least "fuzzy" rules, but you know there was the whole thing about anal beads being used to cheat, it is really, really hard to define the boundaries of any game as often spectators, media coverage etc. can have an impact on the outcome of games. Basketball's rules are quite "fuzzy" in that its well documented that a player's fame impacts a referees reluctance to enforce the rules, referees have been caught up in betting scandals, then just the fact that the referees have to first run up and down the court while staying out of the way and putting themselves in a position to see things. 

All the debate serves the purpose of bounding that fuzziness so as the sport of basketball doesn't simply become war, where all is supposedly fair. 

So I would argue, that the gather step is an issue that not-literally no one but in fact, some people, should care about. Now I assert, that my argument and Rebecca's totalitarian statement cannot both be true at the same time. 

A friend of mine said that the trans women in sports issue came down to a debate as to why female competitions exist. That same friend caused me to realise that because of this issue, functionally a wedge or not, that I understood the nature of gender dysphoria less than I had assumed I had.

"Indoor" totalitarianism, manifests in being unjustifiably dismissive and often even resentful of sports. Even if you regard sports as an insignificant waste of time however, the trans women in sports issue doesn't permit a neutral stance on the issue - at least from the position that sports don't matter. Because if sports don't matter and nobody should care, that also works as an argument to maintain the status quo and exclude trans women from women's competition, as dates back to when medical gender affirming procedures were basically not available, nor was socially transitioning a locally accepted social convention. 

Full disclosure, I haven't watched the entirety of Rebecca Watson's editorial on the IOC decision news story, I am just betting it is "indoor" totalitarian based on the opening statements, I could be wrong though, Watson's video on Dunning-Kruger really got in depth into the science and argued persuasively that I was indeed among the many that did not understand the Dunning-Kruger effect. 

I'm betting Watson will simply argue that the IOC should have made a different decision based on asserting her values, there may be arguments, but they will be unfounded and possibly incoherent because it is proceeding from that indoor totalitarian view that sports are games that literally nobody should care about, unless I guess they are "tricked" into caring about them.

And I would bet, that Rebecca will conclude her video, without a coherent statement that she does not care about the issue, but in fact cares enough to favour one outcome over the other.

And to put it in context, as at writing Watson's video has almost 31k views. Former NBA Point Guard Jeff Teague's reaction video to the Charlotte Hornets vs. Miami Heat play-in elimination game published three days ago has 56k views. Sports ARE HUGE and as significant as literature and music at least

So at least to my mind, of course people are being naively totalitarian when they just assert their preference and make no allowance that it might be perfectly valid to not share that preference, whether it be someone who believes that sports are good for kids and books corrupting influences, or the opposite.

Conclusion

Years ago, at the start of what I'd argue was just a disastrous decade for the left, I got curious as to a disparity between woke and anti-woke memes. It was fairly easy to identify where anti-woke people got their arguments for, the public "intellectuals" they leaned on, and often reproduced uncritically and verbatim were subjects of media-obsessions - most notably Jordan Peterson, but also Sam Harris, the Weinstein brothers, Douglas Murray, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, John Cleese, Johnathan Haidt etc. 

Particularly in the early days however, woke just seemed to be memes that were proliferating, and could come from anywhere. There was just jargon that cropped up, an abundance of it: mansplaining, manspreading, trigger warning, safe spaces, privilege, emotional labour, decolonization, identity, non-binary, gender-non-conforming, platforming, deplatforming, #metoo, cancel culture etc etc. 

Etiquette cropped up, was observed, but almost nobody could argue. In fact questioning many of these memes was pretty much taboo. They were adopted as a fait accompli.

As someone who pretty much never bothers to even try to get my finger on the pulse, I asked friends who enthusiastically adopted the etiquette if they could tell me who these ideas were coming from. I wanted to hear the best arguements for them, as while some I understood others I could not differentiate in practice from simply being ad-hominem, and often, functionally racist.

One of my friends told me to check out "The David Packman Show" which I did, and like, this would have been back in 2017 at the latest. It wasn't what I was looking for. Transparently, David Packman was 'some guy' not a public intellectual, running a DIY news channel that just had a fairly woke editorial position. What I saw was a guy explaining complex news stories with no particular qualifications, sitting behind a mocked up news desk with no real oversight. 

So I told the friend that recommended David Packman to me, that it reminded me of Alex Jones. I don't think I'm exaggerating that this description BLEW HIS FUCKING MIND, and not in a glass shattering way where he noticed what I noticed. More that he couldn't see any parallels at all between alt-right Alex Jones and far-left David Packman.

To be sure, and to be fair, there are certainly meaningful differences between Packman and Jones. I do not anticipate ever learning that Packman will have to pay damages and go bankrupt as a result of spreading baseless conspiracy theories.

Pakman is likely better educated than Alex Jones, with a BS in economics and communication and an MBA. These however, do not confer upon him any real expertise on any particular topic. (By this I mean, I have a BBu in economics and finance, I am not an expert in economics and finance) My friend that could not believe I would ever compare Jones and Packman, I feel is exhibiting that naive totalitarianism - specifically, an appeal to what everybody knows.

That was around a decade ago, this year, a decade later I was at a friends place. I was sitting in front of a rainbow flag painted on a wall in their back yard. Hanging from the trees in their yard were pennants coloured rainbow and others that were chequered strung all about. That friend and I are both very educated adults, and it struck me that like my friend who couldn't see any parallels between Alex Jones and David Pakman, this friend likely couldn't see any parallels between living where they lived and displaying proudly LGBTQIA+ flags, and where others choose to live and proudly displaying Australian flags, or the US stars and stripes flags.

Then in something that gives me hope, Youtube upchucked a clip from comedian Joe DeRosa titled "Be Tolerant and Shut Up":

"It's real easy to be tolerant when everybody around you thinks exactly the same way you do." and it speaks to my adult experience. 

It's very very very hard to not be totalitarian. The instinct that life is about being good, and not being bad is strong. But it's when you are smashing the face in with a cinder-block of somebody you recognized was bad, because I don't know they don't wash behind their ears or they didn't bow to a hat on a pole in a public square, and you run out of breath causing a brief moment of lucidity, that you might fathom the cognitive dissonance that whatever they did that was 'bad' bashing their face in with a cinder block as an exercise in paralegal justice is 'badder' and that's the peril of just sticking with our naive totalitarianism.

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

A Quick Defense of the NBA Play-In Tournament

 The NBA commentaries I follow, and the generation of basketball fans I belong to, are generally speaking not fans of the NBA play-in tournament.

But I'm also Awstralian and from the AFL heartlands, where we have a convoluted post-season system the precedes the NBA "Play-In" "Tournament" so it is easier for me to wrap my head around the novelty of the NBA play-in tournament, which is why I feel I must say something.

Now, like everything wrong or in decline with the NBA it probably stems from Lebron James. Lebronze is at this point, rapidly gaining on a consensus that he is not the greatest to ever play the game, on account of him not even being the greatest of his own era by the yardstick of accomplishment. But in a perfect storm of NBA financial interests, the interest in having the greatest-of-all-time ("goat") currently active in your sport and the interest in having deep post-seasons for the team with the largest media market (the Los Angeles Lakers) have unfortunately been combined now for like 8 years.

Commissioner Adam Silver has an interest in increasing the odds of both Lebron winning championships with the Los Angeles Lakers, and Lebron is an incredible athletic specimen by well-past-their-prime standards, and is incredibly poor value for what he is paid if we do not factor in proceeds from merchandise and just things like contributing to a winning team.

The Play-in tournament I'd even be confident exists for that purpose, it often allows a team with a losing record a chance at a post season, so the LA Lakers could fall as low as no. 10 in the Western conference and still potentially have a chance at getting eliminated in the first round of the play-offs by any of the 4 far superior teams with smaller media market share.

Defense Starts Now

But in a strange twist, this year a kind of sense emerges with having something like the Play-In in effect. Today as at writing, the Charlotte Hornets eliminated the Miami Heat from contention for a spot playing the no.1 seeded Detroit Pistons in the Eastern Conference play-offs. Lamelo Ball their star point guard pulled on Bam Adebayo - deluded record chaser from a few posts ago that scored 83 points to surpass Kobe's penultimate scoring mark by 2 that had stood for 20 years in a game where the Heat were up by 40 or something ridiculous against a team that is deliberately trying to lose, so I guess if you gain glory dirty maybe you lose glory dirty. There's a degree of Karma.

Now that Karma is stinking up the Hornets but the fact is, the Hornets started off stinky and then got hot, very hot, possibly the hottest team in the entire NBA for the late part of the season. These kind of developments are possible, they are precedented, teams don't just go from good to bad and bad to good in the off-season. I think Charlotte had something like a 15-26 record halfway through the season and wound up 44-38 so the second half of the season they had a 29-12 record which had they had that form for a whole season would have put them at 2nd to only the Detroit Pistons in their conference. 

Of course, while the top 4 teams of the conference have held their form an entire season, and the Hornets are weird because they 'clicked' rather than transformed due to a player coming back from injury or ownership making a major trade, it's still one of those things that can cast a pall over the eventual winner if by the end of season, there's a really good team who based on recent form are better than most of the teams the eventual champion will face in the post season but the champs are saved by their early struggles to get going.

And conversely, over in the Western conference we have another interesting situation, one that is highly precedented, and both an argument for and against the play-in tournament. 

A week ago, the Los Angeles Lakers lost their two best players to injuries in a blowout game against the no.1 Western Conference team and reigning champs the OKC Thunder. Due to these unfortunate events, that almost seem to be the hand of god daring Lebron to prove himself the goat by having no coattails for once to ride to glory, but the Lakers basically aren't a top 8, possibly not even a top 10 team. 

The have Lebron "Bronny" James Jr. whom I believe to be statistically the second worst player in NBA history after only Nat Hickey who made his debut for the Providence Steamrollers three days shy of turning 46 and only played two career games ever, scoring two points. On the other end is Lebron James all time leader in turnovers, just about completely useless on defense such that the LAL impressively got the 4th best record in the west playing a majority of minutes as 4 vs 5 defensive team and has an overall -ve +/- meaning the Lakers go backwards while he's on the floor, regardless of the stats he puts up individually.

At the 4 spot, and even as far down as the 6 spot, such a reversal in fortunes cannot be corrected by the Play-in tournament, but in principle, my defense of the Play-in tournament is that it discounts the past and appreciates the recent. In some sense, it can replace slumping teams that likely wont go the distance or provide decent competition with potentially rising teams that may go the distance. In principle.

But its not the AFL

AFL teams play once a week, 18 teams where only the top 8 get a postseason, so it's like 25 or 26 games to set the ladder in place, and the 5-8 spots play elimination finals, the 1-4 spot play preliminary finals, the winners of the elimination play the losers of the preliminaries and then it's semifinals and grand final. 7 matches in all to produce the sufficient losers to leave one champion on top.

Some teams get pretty much a fortnight of rest in the AFL postseason, but even the teams that potentially play all 4 weekends on their path to the grand final get a week of rest inbetween.

The NBA play in tournament gives those who do not have to play in it, a week of physical recovery before starting the gruelling post season. So while teams that wind up in the 9 and 10 spots have improved chances to have a postseason, the teams in the 1 and 2 spots benefit even more.

Having 8-10 play these single 'win or go home' matches may be exciting and winners in the ratings, but last year saw a bunch of teams suffer injuries because the teams are going all out to get into the post season in 1 or 2 do-or-die games. 

I believe last year or the one before the play in saw Jimmy Butler and Giannis Antentokoumpo get injured in the play-in such that their teams getting to the playoffs were almost pointless anyway. These are precisely the games were by the incentives of the NBA it makes sense for Lamelo Ball to grab the leg of Bam Adebayo and take him out after only 11 minutes on the court. 

Again, unlike the AFL the NBA doesn't really have a match review and tribunal system, where a player can face suspensions. Instead players can only be ejected from the game during the games they are playing, and if they amass enough technical fouls over a season they can face one match suspensions. This may seem light by AFL standards, but tech fouls are awarded in the NBA for bullshit like showboating or looking at someone funny, whereas the AFL has had cases of clotheslining and poleaxing and chickenwinging players all of which needs to be cracked down on.

Its only been extraordinary circumstances like "The Malice At The Palace" that saw Ron Artest setting the record for player suspension and that was for getting in a punch on with a Detroit fan who was banned for life.

The point being, just to get back on track, the Play-in tournament makes severe injuries predictable, in the exact opposite way that the Allstar game makes severe injuries unthinkable. They are effectively Game 7s for the 9-10 teams, and a game 6 and game 7 for the 7-8 teams.

The next thing being, as we are witnessing this year the Lakers without Luka Doncic and Austin Reeves are likely a worse team than all bar the Golden State Warriors of the top 10 teams. Their regular season record no longer reflects their potential for round 1 of the Post Season, after which their stars are likely to return, though they may rush them back if they do not get swept in the first round.

Teams get swept in the first round, indeed it is a big incentive of landing the 1st or 2nd seed, you are going to play a weak beaten up and unrested team under the new Play-in tournament qualifiers. The NBA playoffs are also intense, they take two months just for the post season, best of seven series. It's long and gruelling and last year franchise players in Dame Lillard, Channing Tatum and Tayshaun Prince all snapped their achilles tendons in the post season, Tayshaun while leading the OKC Thunder in game 7 of the finals series.

It happens, but if injuries happen that take multiple starters out and drastically reduce the now ubiquitous betting odds, perhaps there should be a trigger clause that says any team that loses two of it's starters to 3-4 week injuries in the close of the season should replace the highest ranked play-in team.

I don't know how that would work, it's potentially fraught. It might tempt teams to dose up an injured player on horse tranqs or something so they can clock in for a few minutes for the end of season games so as to conceal their injuries. But like it happens. It happened to Kevin Garnett I think the year Kobe's Lakers beat the Orlando Magic lead by Dwight Howard, he injured his knee and the champs just couldn't defend. Philly might have cut the turd that is Joel Embiid loose years ago given his injury proneness, with a "look don't waste our time with an uncompetitive post-season"

I mean I don't know, I think there's also decent arguments for getting rid of Play-in tournament altogether, I don't deny it. And like if OKC go on a 25-1 run to start their season, and then lose like 8 games in a month, they rallied but being able to do the work early, suffer injuries midseason, like securing a post-season on the merits of games played 5 months ago is a good incentive to take the early season seriously. The LA Clippers got off to a terrible start, no doubt prompting James Harden to bale as he always does, and now they are paying the price in the 9 spot, just like the Charlotte Hornets, they have a chance based on clawing their way up, but they were also slumping late.

I don't know, I guess they should just have a clause that forces Lebron to get across the half-line for every defensive possession before any team he's on the roster for can have a post-season. Unless he retires in which case they can go through.

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Eichiro Oda's World Government Navy

One Piece is likely, the most read serialized comic in the world. It's been published in Shonen Jump for most of my life.

Set in a "waterworld" style future dystopia it follows a pirate crew on an epic adventure. While innovative in many regards, it also adheres to many tropes of the Shonen genre. It's protagonist Monkey D. Luffy for example is a rambunctious boy who is always hungry and very pure of heart. There's plenty of fanservice and pervert characters who get nosebleeds when they see breasts or panties.

Enemies generally come in two varieties in this comic - rival pirate crews and naval officers.

One of the action-movie tropes lampooned in early 90s box-office flop "The Last Action Hero" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was that the henchmen were always the climactic bad guy in action films. This is certainly true of Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze, all the Jason Bourne films (which hadn't been made before Last Action Hero) I'm sure a bunch of Bond movies (though my Bond knowledge is not encyclopedic) and certainly a lot of B-Action Movies.

I feel the explanation is likely simple and pragmatic for this trope. You can hire a good actor to play "Mr. Big" who can deliver the villainous monologues, then hire like a skilled martial artist to do the fight choreography and have them in a bunch of scenes where they stand behind Mr. Big while he makes speeches.

But it is also likely to be true of police and military institutions. Moving up ranks takes time, a 5-star general is likely in the modern era, to be quite an old person well past their athletic prime, even if for their age bracket they are in the top 1%. 

Eichiro's comic though has magic powers and shit. Firstly there's fruit characters can eat that permanently imbue them with a unique super-power. Not all super-powers are equal, so one character can wind up with the power of soap bubbles and another can command earthquakes. Then there's two occidental tropes one being the in-universe version of vitalism, called 'haki' that is possessed by all strong characters, the other is a marshal-art system that basically gives a character matrix powers, like the ability to dodge bullets, punch through walls, walk on air/fly etc. 

As such, unlike real world military where there is likely some negative correlation between rank and athletic ability beyond say the rank of captain under most systems; in the fantastical world of One Piece you get this interesting thing where, as a general rule, the higher the naval rank the stronger the combatant. 

A strange mathematics is created, and early in the series publication the creator in response to a reader question actually spelled out the maths in terms of multiples of marines. So rather than a naval captain being in command of 100 marines, it was more like they were worth 100 marines (in terms of combat impact). Admirals though in their 50s maybe 60s, become veritable one-man navies. 

Of course it all gets ridiculous, but I find the departure from reality kind of interesting.

Militaries around the world still tend to enlist soldiers based on their passing rigorous physical testing. Even older applicants joining the army reserves have to meet some minimum standard. Military recruitment has tended in the WEIRD nations, to skew young and skew poor. 

In the 2000s around the 2nd gulf war, Michael Moore was Louis Theroux's mentor and starred in a tv show "Michael Moore's The Awful Truth" had published a book called "Stupid White Men" and won an Oscar for his documentary "Bowling for Columbine" and was booed during his Oscar acceptance speech for criticizing George W Bush and getting political (can you imagine now). He followed this up with "Fahrenheit 9-11" an all out hit-piece on George W Bush and the War On Terror.

Somewhere in here, he did a political stunt where he filmed politicians supporting the war in Iraq (in their vote casting) by asking them to enlist their children to go fight in this war they supposedly believed was so necessary and just.

In more recent times, and in direct response to a bill passed in the US I'm going to guess, re-"enabling" a military draft (last seen in most countries during the Viet Nam war) there are some calls to enlist Barron Trump, the US Presidents youngest son and only child of his marriage to his third and current wife Melania. 

I'm thinking though, that being the 21st century and well into the era of robot warfare what with Smart Bombs going down air ducts in the first Gulf War of the early 1990s in response to Iraq's invasion of Kuwait, perhaps its time to look at drafting older rather than younger men.

I'm not suggesting drafting old guys with shit knees into special forces, navy seals, commando roles etc. I think there will always be a need for food-powered elite athletic specimen soldiers. But like, it seems we are increasingly possessing technology that could kind of do what super-power-fruit does in Oda's One Piece for the Navy. 

Like instead of targeting recruitment campaigns at disenfranchised inner city youth, (and I'm not opposed to national service programs) how about targeting middle-aged divorcees trying to cheer themselves up by sleeping in a race-car bed and working on a demo-tape to try and get their music career going?

I would guess that this is the kind of thing that just basically has happened in Ukraine since the invasion. Russia marched its troops from the earliest days into the Ukrainian country side and even attempted to surround Kiev. As Krusty the Clown said to Homer, "[Guns] are for keeping the King of England out of your face." Which was somehow funnier when England hadn't had a king since Elizabeth II's older brother abdicated, but the anachronism has now become true again and less funny.

Yeah though, in the Ukraine regular Ukrainians having an AR-15 rifle on the farm is good for keeping Russian tyrants out of your face. As are drones and what not.

Last year I got talking to a US Air-Force engineer on a train heading to give a guest lecture at a University. He told me basically that 'dog fights' are just a thing of the past with fighter jets able to use rockets to shoot down enemy aircraft so far away that they do not have visuals of them. All that cool shit of loop-the-loop dogfighting in Porco Rosso and maybe even the original Top Gun just doesn't happen anywhere anymore.

I just suspect we may be entering a new phase of history, where the old and rich can viably be strapped into some exo-skeleton and deployed to a war zone with great effect. Even automating the targeting and fireing of weapons while keeping battery weights downs by offsetting human locomotion. Perhaps poor inner city kids can sit in a mall somewhere aiming and firing those weapons strapped to an old person.

But this could lead to a fundamental shift in the economics of war - decision makers may once again have skin in the game, rather than simply making 'tough decisions' to send young poor people off to forever wars. 

It'd be interesting to see.

Friday, April 03, 2026

What Could Be Wrong With Me 1: Asynchronous Andragogy

 I was really tempted to title this post "Who put the peda in my gogy" but obviously that might imply that Mr Beauregard had me touch his weenus or something. Which didn't happen. As far as I'm aware, I'm not carrying that kind of trauma.

Disclaimer

A disclaimer in this series one might expect to include my complete lack of qualifications, and that's very true. What I wish I could prioritise over that, is a mutual acknowledgement that while I've invoked the "wrong" word and pointed it toward myself, I have enough healthy narcissism to be at significant risk of writing posts that are backdoor self-agrandisement/humble brags. You know, I mean check my grammar and punctuation and shit, to be confident this is just an example but the cliched "name a weakness" "I'm a perfectionist."

So I will disclaim here and now, I'm not necessarily searching for a cure nor am I suggesting that you should be more like me at any point. Like when an organised person meets a disorganized person and one presumes the other would want to be 'fixed' while the other presumes the one could benefit from learning to 'chill out.'

Or in a I'm sure British Colonial thought experiment, one civilization encounters another and is shocked to learn of a culture who eat their dead, and even more shocked to learn that civilization is shocked to learn that they bury their dead.

These series, whenever I get around to writing them, are attempting to be descriptive, explorative, not judgemental. That said, I'm me and will express myself uncharitably most often simply to amuse myself.

To the Man With A Smartphone Every Problem Looks Like An App

This will serve as my introduction, and I'll almost immediately get on the snark express. 

Humanity is undergoing a medical expertise crises. It is bad enough in the domain of biology, regarding vaccines and diets and shit. I personally know people that couldn't reconcile that when they told their career advisor they wanted to invest the next 3 years of their life becoming an accountant, and then worked as one for 35 years until in 2020 they found themselves in lockdown, that 38 years ago they had inadvertently closed the door on being an epidemiologist, and decided to have a crack at 'doing their own research.'

Psychology is, to my lay understanding, if not more complicated than biology, waaaaaaaay squishier. And, in the past 10 years in particular, but pretty much going back 25-30 years for me when ADHD was just ADD and Southpark were making episodes where Chef proposed the school adopt an exciting alternative to Ridilin called the "shut up and do your work" technique.

By my own availability heuristic, here's what lay-people seem to know:

  • ADHD
  • Autism Spectrum
  • Narcissism
  • Gender Dysphoria
Along with this, laypeople have a tendency to trivialise conditions that are actual conditions, referring to their own:
  • OCD
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Expertise
  • Competence
  • Intelligence
Carelessly saying things like "That's my OCD always patting my pockets to see if I remembered my keys." and "I'm a good driver."

Hopefully a bunch of you have already threaded your own needle by this point and can skip ahead to the next bold heading, but for those who need a bit more, here's some documented phenomena I am aware of:
  1. Confirmation bias
  2. The Dunning-Kruger effect
  3. Trends (fashion)
  4. Medical Student's disease
These just give me pause before I feel any safety in numbers, nor any confidence I can have in a story I tell myself to make sense of the world, myself or someone else.

On top of this, somewhere I am actually qualified to speak on, is the domain of economics and also marketing. There can be advantages, and therefore incentives to having certain conditions. For example, if by virtue of a diagnosis an inefficient education system might grant you an additional hour to sit an exam that could determine whether you get into a top 100 University in the World, or a regular arse college we might see a phenomena where say, private schools wind up having over 50% of their enrolled students eligible for special consideration. And the trouble is, that in Australia and many (perhaps all) countries, secondary school has become mostly dedicated to discriminating between people to allocate scarce tertiary places. A market mechanism - meritocracy, that nominally rewards by Daniel Markowitz' analyses 1. Innate talent, 2. Effort and 3. Education & Training (Investment) and I assert, that the investment component can extend now to getting a doctor's note that says you get an extra hour to complete your exam.

Certainly there is a case to be made about making experts available to identify appropriate supports for learners for whom society might lose the benefit of their potential through something arbitrary - for an example that is likely both obvious and now quite redundant, there's no reason a blind kid called Matt Murdoch couldn't be a brilliant legal mind, and providing him textbooks translated into braille is worth both private and public investment.

But then there's all the people who simply want an edge for their own self-interest. They may even be displacing someone of greater potential who simply cannot access the same advantage. 

Outside of education, their are high profile cases of fraudsters who have faked serious health conditions for personal gain. Setting up fake charities and imbezzling funds.

This level of malevolence however, is itself on a spectrum. I find it highly likely that people will embark upon fraudulent self-diagnoses for matters as petty as attention or esteem. This fraud might be completely off the malice spectrum, and simply the product of incompetence. I have met and been a teenager that wondered if they might be bipolar, because they had periods where they felt down, and other periods where they felt up. In my own case I noticed I tended to listen to music in waves defined by energy levels. For a week I might listen to real shoegaze type stuff, and felt pretty flat myself, then I'd get in the mood for some Funk-metal, and feel pretty up.

Suffice to say, this is not bipolar.

I don't feel competent to even self-diagnose seasonal affective disorder.

Yet, my lack of confidence I would assess as abnormal. For a literal 5 fucking years I felt a stranger in a strange land working a job where to a man my colleagues were diagnosed with 'anxiety' I foolishly had presumed that the people all around me had undergone some form of clinical therapy where a psychologist had diagnosed them. It took one person letting slip that they had never seen a therapist for the penny to drop, that everyone around me was self-diagnosed likely from tumbler or reddit. 

As it transpired 'anxiety' is not even a diagnosis. Don't get me wrong, generalised anxiety disorder is a diagnosis, and I believe there might be an anxious personality disorder too, which could charitably be shorthanded to 'anxiety' but mostly it was people telling themselves a story that was self-debilitating but came with the benefit of relieving them of the responsibility of dealing with uncertainty.

So to wrap this up, I'll put it to you, a little case study: You have a friend whose behaviour you don't quite understand. They seem to take odd tangents in conversation, that feels unnatural, and disorienting for you. Now, it could be ADHD, or it could be Autism Spectrum Disorder, or it could be both. But how many other things could it be, based on the described symptoms?

Respect expertise. Having said that, now I'm going to wildly speculate, I know I'm doing it. Do you?

Pedagogy

Pinko Marxists know what pedagogy means because they recognize it from Paulo Freire. Allegedly 'Pedagogy of the Oppressed' is the third most cited book in social sciences. It really makes me think how small the world of Academia is, particularly at the published-in-a-journal level.

Pedagogy is basically "the way of teaching children" now, I don't know the history of pedagogy, what preceded the industrial revolution, what came about in the industrial revolution, nor how it changed over time. I also generally don't respect the epistemology of critical theory as a sound one. I will give what most lay people and some scholars refer to as "postmodernism" its due, but I look at Freire's wikipedia page where he asserts a "traditional pedagogy" exists as some kind of known quantity, and it might be fair enough to generalise that schools where a teacher teaches kids at desks a set curriculum is a tradition. But I don't know if that gives proper due to how much education has evolved while preserving some common elements for a very long time.

He was writing in the late 50s and 60s when he coined "the banking model of education" for his asserted traditional pedagogy. This involves kind of treating kids heads as empty vaults where knowledge is simply deposited. So kid comes in, can't do maths, tell them how to do maths, kid goes out 'educated.'

So decades after pedagogy of the oppressed was published, I started my education. I simply don't have enough detail to compare my experience to whatever Freire is getting at. All that is clear to me, is that education is certainly not efficient. Students are routinely put into classes with only minute differences in their physical perspective of the class, otherwise exposed to the exact same stimulus and results are not-quite-all-over-the-place. Usually results are normally distributed, perhaps with a few outliers.

By 12 years, the majority of students tend to acquire literacy and numeracy, but beyond that, I can't say any two students have much in common. I never witnessed for example, a 'dumb' student become 'smart' through a process of education. Certainly individual teachers could attain results from students that other teachers seemingly couldn't. This seemed to be typically a product of two compatible personalities. I would guess the more important one was the personality of the teacher and particularly the enthusiasm they possessed for the subject they were teaching.

A Book At Bedtime

I was pretty much illiterate until age 10. The first proper book I read was an abridged version of Jane Eyre in a special remedial class I was sent to during grade 3. 

Mostly my parents tell me, but I do have some decayed memories that could be fabricated, that I had this trick to fake my ability to read - my parents were quite diligent in reading me bedtime stories, and quite early on I adopted the transparent trick of following about a syllable behind them in reading. 

So they would be reading a picture book like Spot or Grug, and they'd say "One day..." and I would just repeat "One day..." as close as I could to them, but was unable to ever overtake the reader. I cannot recall if I could read certain limited words like "the" and "and" I knew I could write my own name but being left handed wrote it as "Mot" naturally mirror scripting my instructors writing technique, and I feel like I must have attempted to write more.

I am also the unreliable narrator of my history here. For example, I might have been 9 or 8 when I learned to read, and was simply behind. I can't remember being given any actual remedial instruction, all I remember is being taken to a room and left in the presence of some books that I may have started reading simply to alleviate boredom. My issues may have been simply attributed to a lack of confidence to read aloud with the class.

Anyway, I learned to read, then I became a reader, reading for myself The Hobbit, some of the Narnia entries and eventually, good books like the Roald Dahl ones, Erik the Viking and Ursula K. Leguin's Earthsea Trilogy before it became a cycle, and then back to bad but diverting books like the Fighting Fantasy books.

What I vividly recall hating, was fucking cut and paste. As an adult I sincerely hope cut and paste activity books are fucking gone now. When I was a child, we were subjected to pots of clag, and had to cut out five apples with fucking safety scissors, apply clag and glue them to a picture of a tree, in what must have been a means of ostensibly teaching numeracy, but was tedious by design to allow primary teachers a 15-60 minute break.

I never got strong at maths, but I don't feel I was ever close to innumerate either. So what does a vague memory of illiteracy and a vivid memory of tedium have in common?

What's the fucking point?

A few weeks ago I was having a chat to the neighbour's gardener. He was telling me he used to be a nurse, and despite being a nurse for 20 years he had to sit an exam annually to prove to regulators he knew how to wash his hands. 

I can steelman the case of the regulators and the consumers/citizens they act on the behalf of - infections and contamination are serious, and warrant serious reassurance. What I can't do is imagine a reason some ISO9000 intern couldn't tick a box after a 30 second practical demonstration. Now, I don't believe the hyperbole that he had to sit an exam to prove one simple vocational skill. I'm sure there were questions about administering medications and changing wound dressings and all of that. 

What I can relate it to, is that there's no conceivable need to cut out little rudimentary pictures of apples and glue them next to other pictures of apples, using clag pots and safety scissors to demonstrate to a teacher that 2 + 3 makes 5, and that 3 + 4 makes 7. This could have been demonstrated using my fingers, and I feel that as a tiny little kid, I knew my time and energy was being wasted on tedium.

It was not that I didn't need to take off my shoes and socks to count to twenty, and I shared at least one class with Chris who would go on to be dux of my secondary school and was always good at maths, much better than me. 

My problem was that I didn't see the fucking point. I could imagine having more time to make frogs out of clay, or draw cars with guns on them in art class, which I enjoyed.

Here I'd like to denote, that I, like you, don't experience my unconscious. Certainly in my primary school years I would not have had the emotional competence to name my emotions as and when they arose. I would not have had the vocab to describe a difference between boredom and frustration, I would not, until my thirties learn to distinguish between anger and anxiety. So at this point, I really am speculating as to what was going on.

I was somehow looking at these cut-and-paste activity books, processing the emotional data that I did not enjoy them, anticipating some kind of trade off between the learning outcome and the tedium required to obtain it and foregoing the learning outcome in order to forego the tedium.

As to why I couldn't read, I have no vivid affective memory as to why I 'cheated' reading aloud by just mimicking my parents with a kind of parlour trick (the shitty kind). So I'm just rear projecting, a pattern I preserve to this day - it is likely I couldn't see the point of learning to read and nobody bothered explaining it to me.

My parents recently recounted an impression I made upon them as a child, that certainly sounds like me but I cannot myself recall - they were talking about how bribes/extortion didn't work on me, having informed me that if I didn't finish my dinner (likely steamed squash [what australians call squash]) I couldn't have any icecream. Apparently I said "looks like I'm not having ice cream then." Like some wiseguy being questioned by the filth.

What I can remember though, are the 5 years I studied Japanese. First in primary school, where I memorised some songs in Japanese like heads, shoulders, knees and toes - atama, kata, hisa, ashii. Some numbers and a couple of colours. I couldn't learn to read Japanese hiragana though either. 

I would not learn hiragana until year 8, where Jordan sensei introduced me to mnemonics to learn both hiragana and katakana relatively quickly. Like reading, I caught up pretty quickly though the Chinese characters kanji I never took to. I can probably still write about 30 kanji characters of the 3000 or so that are required to read the Asahi Shinbun and attend University in Japan. 

Speaking to, did not take, and this is the big clue to pointlessness being my major obstacle in acquiring languages. For some reason, my brain refused to learn beyond a box-checking level that made me a C student in Japanese, any actual Japanese that I could use to talk to Brenton, Keegan, Laura, Hayden, Belinda, Sarah or Sean. 

What I retrospectively construct as the 'some reason' being an unconscious awareness, that without Japanese, my friends and I could talk about Primus' obvious influence on both 3-11 and Incubus, but in Japanese we could have inane conversations about walking two blocks and turning left, before walking one block and turning right in order to get to an imaginary post office.

Nippon ni Haite Kudasaimase

(My Japanese is rusty) But Chie our host mum has picked up Brenton and I from the Nagoya train station after a week or two of travelling around Japan with our teacher and seeing some sights. Brenton is having a go, trying out his Japanese talking to Chie, who can speak good English, though it takes her cognitive effort and she perhaps feels simultaneously guilty and anxious to do so. 

I can only understand a word here and there that Brenton is saying, yet I have a profound impression of this car trip. It is like it is the most fascinating lesson in Japanese I have ever had, and while Chie includes me, by explaining that we will go to some shops before getting to her house etc. in English, nobody is teaching me. I imagine myself watching through narrow eyes, as Brenton finally, but indirectly, explains to me the point of learning Japanese.

Now you see, to give you temporal whiplash, I can remember the point of learning Japanese being explained to me by O'Neal sensei in Grade 4 or 5 when I learned heads, shoulders, knees and toes. The point was that the Victorian Department of Education now required children in primary school to study/be instructed in one language other than English. 

Arbitrarily, I was being taught Japanese in primary school, because my primary school was able to hire a Japanese teacher. Being a major trade partner of the 80s before the Japanese bubble burst and they went on to some 30+ years of economic stagnation while China grew rapidly playing catch-up, Japanese was taught in a lot of primary and secondary schools. I then largely continued to study Japanese via inertia, every secondary school I went to also had it, and by the time LOTE subjects became electives, I likely preferred it to doing accounting or chemistry, because at least it gave me some access to discussing Japanese history.

But I never had any intrinsic motivation to get good at Japanese. O'Neal sensei told me I was learning it because the government required it of the institution I was required to attend. I learned only so much of it as necessary to avoid detention, and then quite reluctantly.

Those early days in Nagoya, Brenton and I would hang out in my room, which had a gaming console, and I would only go down to the living room if Brenton was there, otherwise hiding. Once we got to school, I discovered myself surrounded by girls who treated Brenton and I as near-deities. 

At the time, what I thought, was the secret to my finally picking up Japanese, was immersion. I had breakthroughs in early key moments when I was left on my own and had to speak Japanese. I was for example, put in a home room for morning and afternoon classes with my host-brother who did not share the all-girls class we spent most of our school days in. Kimura-sensei the deputy vice-principle and highest ranking employee who was not a direct descendent of the school's founder, instructed me to introduce myself to the homeroom. Self-introduction was something I had to learn by rote, so I started saying my name, my age, my hometown in Japanese. Ted Kimura interrupted me and implored me in English to use a 'big voice' so I put on a theatrical Brian Blessed style voice that won the class over immediately - and I remember thinking that even though my Japanese was limited, I could still get my personality across easily.

In two months, while I wouldn't ever become the best Japanese student in my cohort, I caught most of the way up. Went from a C or D student to a B+.

Again, I thought it was just immersion, a theory that wouldn't get tested until I began living in Mexico much, much later. But I think I was wrong. Immersion seriously helps, don't get me wrong. That's just access to opportunity. Now though, I think the key was that car ride with Brenton and Chie. 

Brenton responded to Pedagogy. I didn't and never have.

Spanish is a Level 5 language

Spanish is a fucking nightmare. I was in Mexico because they give an 180 visa to anyone, no questions asked. It is also, super fucking cheap. I had also, somewhat given up on life, and so was in Mexico because why not be in Mexico? I was in Guadalajara, because people that could answer that last question were not in Mexico but in my art studio, and I'd polled them about where to go live in Mexico and had gotten 2 votes Guadalajara to 1 for Queretaro. 

I had gone to live in Guadalajara for 5 months, to have an artist's sabbatical. I was also interested in putting into practice, stoicism by living as meanly as possible. I'd even learned about capital "C" Cynicism, and that was really interesting. So I'm not fucking with you when I say, as I headed out of Mexico City to Guadalajara via a stop in Queretaro my ambition was to find the most rudimentary legal shelter as possible, and I'm serious I had big plans for drinking out of a dog bowl and washing out of a bucket, possibly with the same dog bowl.

I'd asked my friend in Guadalajara if he could help me find some rental options, and his connection came back with some "Melbourne Experience" luxury shit. I found the cheapest monthly rental listing on Air BnB and went there instead, found it quite luxurious but ultimately was too comfortable and lazy change it up after the first month, so just booked it again. A process that would repeat for the 13 months I wound up staying there.

My hosts Lu and Pes spoke little English, as did an exchange student from Spain who spoke even less. Carlos was decent but shy, more eager to teach me Spanish, which though I did try, was content not to learn and figured I'd pick up what I'd pick up.

I joined a conversation club, where I was happy to be a native English speaker for locals to practice their English with, than push myself to advance my Spanish. My friend and club host Sajid tried to outsource my motivation to learn Spanish and kind of force it upon me, but even when there were just three of us there and could all speak fluent English, it was just a hang where I spoke English.

I also joined a group on Meetup for drawing, organised by Karen a name that doesn't have the same boomer connotations as English. That club was not an English conversation club, though there were members, like Karen who had become pretty much fluent in English from watching TV shows. 

That probably should have been a clue that I didn't know what I was talking about, but at any rate at one of those drawing groups I dropped the hearsay that English was the hardest language to learn, and I had some experience of trying to teach English to a refugee student so it seemed about right.

Karen then informed me that Spanish was considered (by whom?) harder than English, as it was a level 5 (what?) language. I had no idea languages were ranked by levels or any of that. I assumed English would be hard because it has the largest vocabulary by far, and most of that is loan words from other languages, including being a mash-up of Germanic and Latin. Look up etymology of English words and chances are you will get Greek via Latin, or Greek via Latin via 'Old French.'

There also probably hadn't been a single thing I'd taught my student Zamin, that wasn't immediately contradicted by the next sentence we read together, and I'd have to then explain why it was an exception to the rule I'd just outlined, so often, that I wound up just explaining it was because English is a nightmare.

But Spanish is a nightmare. I could not navigate GDL's bus routes, only use the train lines, which meant I walked an hour in each direction to Casa Musa where the drawing group mostly met. On those walks, in the early months of my stay, I would inventory my Spanish vocabulary, thinking I was making good progress. I knew I went from being able to recall 30 words and their uses, to 100 from month 1 in GDL to month 3. 

I had no grasp of Spanish grammar, but my standard of communication is being understood - or a "shared understanding of meaning" I would speak Spanish in ways that I can't translate English easily, because as far as I'm concerned, the central feature (not benefit) of Spanish, is that they have 36 different conjugations of verbs in order to save time on pronouns. So where "()" indicate an ommitted prounoun I spoke Spanish thusly:

"I (I) have a ticket, you (I) have a ticket?" right, and it's pretty easy for Spanish speakers to figure out I am using redundant pronouns instead of congregating and they interpret my shitty Spanish as "I have a ticket, do you have a ticket?" and communication is achieved anyway.

The main drawback of me not being motivated to speak Spanish, even though I could see the point just as with Japanese, was that it filtered my dating pool really, to women who could speak English fluently. Maybe not, but I never got close to a date with a non-English speaking Mexican woman. Largely because Ale came along and she was fluent to the point of having a perfect mid-western US accent, in English she sounds like someone who would be called 'Nancy'.

The real disaster, was when Ale tried to teach me Spanish. I cannot testify to the lasting damage it did to Ale with respect to our relationship, but I evaluated our one lesson as an utter-disaster, and I learned something about Ale that helped me understand her and myself better, so I don't resent it.

Ale put together a lesson on Spanish phonics, she informed me she had found phonics really useful for her learning English, which she speaks far better than I ever will Spanish, Japanese or Italian. I cannot stress enough that Ale's diction is perfect bar the wide variety of dictions available in English, with 'perfect' allowing for accents, probably reserved for the King (then Queen) of England, she didn't sound like the Queen, she sounded like someone from the midwest called Nancy. But like my friends that overheard voice messages she sent me in Australia, expressed their shock at how much her English defied their stereotyped Mexican accents.

The hitch was, I did not, and do not, give a fuck about my diction in Spanish, English, Japanese or any language ever. I only care about being understood, and having my personality come across.

The likely reason for this, is something I will have to come back to in a latter part of this series, it is in other words, another thing wrong with me. 

In the presentation Ale lovingly prepared for me, we reached the slide for 'LL' which most Australians now will recognise is in 'Pollo' for Chicken as in Chicken Tacos. Now to my ear, most Spanish speakers pronounce 'llo' as 'yo' as in 'yo dudes, how's the surf? Tubular!' Ale's lesson presented 'llo' as 'jo' albeit 'j' with an accent, which I'd write out on my keyboard as 'jyo' using romaji conventions from Japanese. Kind of halfway between 'jo' and 'yo'. You can go type into google translate now 'chicken' and then hit the audio button and see how google pronounces 'pollo' maybe it's subject to some neuroscienceshit, like the Yanny/Laurel audio perception thing. (Curiously, I now hear Laurel, but I swear I used to hear Yanny apparently I have crossed an age threshold.) 

The thing is, Ale clearly said "jo" and also clearly said "Poyo" for chicken. I would come to describe us, as orthodox and heterodox. Ale believed in an ideal of orthodoxy, you seek out an esteemed teacher and try and replicate their teachings with the highest possible fidelity like a disciple. 

I was heterodox, I took things in, pulled them apart and examined and questioned them. Ale and I worked in many ways as a couple, at least for me, but not as a student-teacher couple. We had similar albeit less disastrous experiences when she taught me Kundalindi Yoga. 

I suspect this may be culturally bound somewhat - for example, in Australia teachers are called Mr. or Mrs./Miss. [Surname] at primary level, and mostly at the secondry level, though it was not unusual for some teachers to be called by a knickname - we had Knighter and Etho for example at my highschool. Overconfident, obnoxious and entitled students can also freely get away with being on a first name basis with teachers too. Curiously by University, the norm is to be on a first name basis with lecturers and tutors, as we are all adults by then.

In Mexico teachers are typically called "Maestro/a" even when they have no qualifications whatsoever, it seems the barrier to obtaining the title "Master" in Mexico is calling something your doing a class. Curiously, I am currently studying to be a trainer, and I'll talk about this more later, but one of my cohort is from Peru, and she also taught in an authoritative orthodox way, and seemed also put out by the mere act of me asking questions or questioning the content of her lesson, even solely to express confusion. It was not an interpersonal disaster, but afterwards I asked if in Peru they also called teachers "Maestro" and she told me, they call teachers "Professadore" so an even more esteemed title.

All I have is my spider sense, but this is why I suspect much of it is culturally bound. Hispania it seems tends toward a more authoritarian pedagogy, and it's possible it is culture shock to have a student question the teaching. My sample is too small to be in any way conclusive or even a generalisation, just a notion.

Once a year however, my Spanish would take quantum leaps. Like approve 100%+ in a really concentrated window, until it eventually clicked for me. This is not to say I am fluent, or speak like a native or have a good ear for Spanish. But I can converse in Spanish, I am better at Spanish now than I am at speaking Japanese. Spanish is my second language, and though it was a nightmare to obtain, I feel more affection for it. 

I would pick it up quite rapidly, at these camps, they lasted just a week, but Ale got tied up in activities such that I was socially isolated with a group that largely couldn't speak English. I was suddenly motivated to speak Spanish so as to not feel...well, again this is another post in the series converging in. The word is not alienated, as I am not a joiner, I infact most often felt alienated by the camp groups attempts to include me, rather than allow me to be an outsider. But it's hard to describe, I was motivated to get Spanish to click so as to be a gentleman. To help out and also explain when I needed to withdraw for my sanities sake, without causing counterproductive anxiety in my hosts.

The motivation, the point of learning Spanish for me came when I realised I needed it to be humane, so I needed to be able to explain abstract, not just concrete ideas. That's what it took to get me to conversational Spanish.

Andragogy

All this speculation I've presented, is first and foremost speculation. It is a notion, not a theory, but like a theory, this new notion being a narrative achieves greater explanatory power and pushes out the old not-quite-right immersion theory of language acquisition. 

Andragogy being similar to pedagogy simply replaces the "peda" root being for 'child' as in the word you're all thinking, with "andra" the root for "man" or "adult" I'm not sure, and it doesn't matter because it refers to how adults learn as distinct from how children learn. 

I was taught some of this in my training program to become an English tutor for a refugee, but nothing clicked at the time, beyond adults learn differently to kids. Mostly what I absorbed was slower, which is why this speculation didn't start happening until recently.

Andragogy was first forwarded as a theory by Malcolm Knowles, and from his work were derived 6 principles of adult education. The first is the one that sticks out to me now like a turgid penis I must grab and rub vigorously if I want it to explode with the good stuff:

Need to know: Adults need to know the reason for learning something.

As has been explained by my current course instructors, kids respond well to teachers, I guess the theory or hypothesis or notion is that they are still in a development stage of like "eat the red berries" so adults can just tell them things and they believe them, this I mean in the sense that you could take kids being taught something we find useful like literacy and numeracy, and take them outside and teach them some Stalin gulag shit like how to dig ditches for the purpose of filling them in again, and kids largely just assume there's some point to the exercise.

This I think was what set me and Brenton apart in Japanese. Brenton always outperformed me academically and later, financially as is to be expected, and this is a debilitating effect of how I am, but its kind of tantalising to entertain the possibility that as early as pre-primary, I needed an approach more akin to andragogy than pedagogy. 

Besides the 1st characteristic about 'purpose' or 'the point' the remaining characteristics I think would also have produced in me an A+ student:

  1. Foundation: Experience (including error) provides the basis for learning activities.
  2. Self-concept: Adults need to be responsible for their decisions on education; involvement in the planning and evaluation of their instruction.
  3. Readiness: Adults are most interested in learning subjects having immediate relevance to their work and/or personal lives.
  4. Orientation: Adult learning is problem-centered rather than content-oriented.
  5. Motivation: Adults respond better to internal versus external motivators.
Certainly, what I have referred to as 'heterodox' may be better explained by "Experience (including error)" as in, I don't care if my Mexican or Japanese sounds weird, to me that is just distinct, so long as I can achieve communication. I would rather communicate in a distinct but effective way, than a conformist and effective way.

I have also always chafed under my lack of agency in Education. I had to fight to not do Further Maths and do Studio Art in year 11 and while nobody could stop me from doing my chosen electives, I was heavily discouraged by pretty much all bar my art teacher from doing so. I had to sit in a meeting with two staff members and justify my choices, I was also told bullshit twice about being unprepared/unqualified to do specialist maths because I didn't do the subject that involved such cognitive geometric challenges as reading a table, and drawing box-plot graphs. Further maths was a subject where I knew the greatest challenge facing me would be sitting through it, I knew the school had a financial incentive to push its students into doing this cakewalk subject because it would artificially inflate our ATAR scores which would then be used to encourage prospective parents to enrol their kids in the junior school.

The readiness also goes somewhat to my experiences in Japan and Mexico - I learned fast when the relevance finally arrived. My Japanese instruction began 10 years before I would set foot in Japan, and I learned more Japanese in two weeks than I had in the preceding 10 years.

A Brief Gander at The Road Not Taken

When my mum told me of a friend's adult diagnosis of ADHD, I wondered at its significance. It was not "Adult-onset-ADHD" as far as I am aware, and quite simply, I don't know enough about ADHD to really make any sense of it. As far as a story goes, it explains one tantrum in me I know was induced by him pushing me to the brink by completely derailing all my attempts to arrange a dinner party.

But to the point of significance, it made me wonder why my friend would care, why he was shouting from the rooftops, as it were, that he had ADHD and had gone for so long with it undiagnosed. I was thinking "so like, does he rue that he could have been a doctor?" 

I just couldn't see it. 

Now I've mentioned, had I been enrolled at the age of 8 in a vocational training course, like the former School of Mines Ballarat hospitality course, maybe I would have topped the class. But to what end?

The debilitating aspect of me having the characteristics of an adult learner, even as a small child, which is just a speculative notion, is the antipathy generated between myself and my teachers. 

I needed to learn literacy and numeracy, Japanese was useful, then there were subjects I found intrinsic motivation to engage with - like Philosophy and Economics. I also wound up doing well in school, well enough to have all the opportunities I wanted. 

There's another post to come regarding why I had no motivation to be a doctor or a lawyer, and with the results I got, those career paths weren't really closed to me, probably medicine because I didn't do prerequisites like Chemistry or sit the UMAT, but I had no motivation to even go for it, and the closest I've come was contemplating a Covid scenario that turned out to be counterhistorical, where so many doctors and nurses died off that I may have simply been conscripted into the healthcare system in some dystopian pandemic nightmare. I would have done my civic duty then, I'm very civic minded.

But I had, and mostly still have an attitude as a student that boarders on appalling. I'm sure I have teachers that wouldn't put on my report card, but would almost certainly have described me as 'obnoxious' 'nonchalant' and 'contemptuous'

They also faced the wedge created by my parents wanting for me things I did not and do not want for myself, like good grades. I have many teachers from all my times in life that appear to harbour great affection for me as a student, even nostalgia, but I know the hardest times for them would have been when they had to insist I do something I couldn't see the point in doing. 

That's what I mean by antipathy. Had I the awareness, we could have communicated, but again, this probably would have facilitated solutions. There also likely would have been a misdiagnosis. 

A common impression I give is one to my fellow students in a class, who presume I must be an A+ student because I'm so engaged. I dominate air-time, teachers routinely remark 'great question' and people often assume this is because I'm highly motivated to come top of the class. At University in particular this created some awkwardness when people willingly joined me in group assignments, to discover the first thing I suggested was that I wasn't going to even look at the assignment until the week it was due, then we should reconvene, punch out some bullshit until we met the word limit and slap it all together and hopefully we'd get a pass.

Eventually I found my equilibrium and my people in Andy, Jerry and Xi, 3 Chinese nationals from Wuhan where we divided the workload in a manner that suited me perfectly: I explained the actual assignment to them and what was required. They went off and did it and then emailed it to me, where I would go over it and correct anything, rewrite anything that didn't make sense etc. format it all and then print it out and hand it in. We got Bs and B+s which I was happy with how much less work I had to do and they were happy with the better grades than they got when they were isolated from local students.

We became great friends and finished our degrees more or less together. 

Someone, I don't recall who, pointed out that Education is older than capitalism. Our educational institutions are not really businesses, they've perhaps evolved into them, but this evolution may have dragged them too far from their reason for being.

I recently finished Tom Nichols "The Death of Expertise" and in it he attributes one factor contributing to the anti-intellectualism of contemporary times to the evolution of students into clients.

With some chagrin, I must confess I was ahead of this evolutionary curve. I have long had the bad attitude of a student who views the teaching and administration staff as people who work for me. I felt entitled to their knowledge and indignant that I was asked to demonstrate I had absorbed it.

I quite literally resented being assessed by University. I understood in a vague sense that the Uni required me to demonstrate that I knew what they had taught me so an academic transcript could reassure employers that their education met some quality threshold. 

It was probably not helped by my first discipline of marketing being largely practiced to dismal standards in Australia, with an ICU sustained manufacturing sector making up many of the most prestigious employers, now all extinct like Ford Australia, GM Holden, Toyota Australia etc. populating their marketing departments with sales people in a holding pattern for an executive position.

The idea that my future employers could even discern whether I knew my marketing shit or not seemed implausible to me. I'd never spoken to the designated marketing person at a career night with them actually holding any marketing qualifications anyway. I could also observe that most of my cohort enrolled in marketing had confused it with advertising or something, assuming it to be the most creative of the major business disciplines, many of them were ill-suited to marketing as best practice being highly data driven and analytical, rather than touchy-feely intuition.

My lecturers seemed to proudly boast that 30% of marketing graduates could not define 'brand equity' (this boast, oft repeated, a literal humble brag, was rarely followed by a quick recap of the definition of brand equity). For the record, a brand is the intangible but distinct identity of your business, it can include logos, colour schemes, audio signatures or may even just be your name, your voice, your dress sense when talking about an individual. Equity refers to stored value, like your outright owned share of real property purchased via an ammortised loan, but applied to brand it means the stored value in all the defining intangibles. I find it most salient to define brand equity as "the difference in value of your product with and without branding." and give the example of what you could charge for Coca-cola, if you remove the label, the distinct packaging, the jingle, the vending machine, the refrigerator etc.

Anyway, this attitude I know was present at least as early as highschool, I know I had the conscious thought that with my Bursary (a 1/3 scholarship) which I had achieved on my own merit, I was making an equal financial contribution as my parents (in my mind, never mind contingency, I didn't think on that, consciously at least) and as such was an equal stakeholder in my education and should be treated as such. Unlike other students (albeit I was friends with kids on full scholarships) I was both inventory and client. At a private school though, the general rule is that the parents are the clients, it is they, not the students who determine customer satisfaction.

Hence I could be an unpleasant little shit. But there may have been a theoretical solution - just explain the point of what we were learning like I was an adult. And if the point was that we were just checking boxes for compliance purposes, at least shrug apologetically when you handed me the checklist.


Asynchronicity

"In my early 30s I was cornered by a familial obligation to attend my cousins sweet 16 party. I was frankly surprised and flattered to be specifically named by the birthday girl as I felt I didn't know her that well, growing up largely estranged from my cousins by geographic distance. I had naively assumed that I was invited to a strictly family affair, setting my expectations of the evening a little high.

"It was only when I arrived I discovered I was there more for form than function. Though perplexingly my cousin seemed genuinely excited to have me there, they were distinctly oblivious as to what a fish out of water I was. I stayed as long as I could in the main party space, a function room attached to a local bowls club, and found myself nursing my drink, by that stage years into teatotalling, and observing the kids these days like a social anthropologist.

"The 16-somethings struck me as somewhat of an awkward pastiche of adults, too excited about drinking, too overconfident in their tastes, too reactive in their consumption. These were kids reaching for adulthood, and the discomfort with their own age, impatience with their own development showed.

"I'm not proud but I was relieved to simply slink away to the kitchenette where I found other adults hiding, my evening was salvaged by calm sober conversation about a wide range of subjects and experiences. We held out in our bolt-hole as long as we could, but the others in my age range made apologies and excuses and departed.

"I alas was dependent on another's ride and accomodation, so I rejoined the main festivities as best I could, though I felt totally alienated by the immaturity, and quietly consoled myself with 'this too shall pass' which eventually it did."

Okay that was all fiction, hastily thrown together. Here's how shit really went down and hopefully you can see what I'm doing here. Just a note, recently my friend B said part of our shared history, though perfectly legal and not involving Jeffrey Epstein at all, was now a professional liability, so in an excess of caution I'm going to use initials for the players in this particular anecdote.

B and I were 15 and we'd been invited to our friend's K and S's party in the big smoke. This was a pretty big deal, though I'd by then had two girlfriends, they had gone ineptly, both lasting a matter of days because I was psyching myself out over being 15 and still 'frigid' as we said back in the day.

B was also most definitely a theatre kid, occupying that paradox of being far more sexually active than the modal kid our age, yet marginalised because theatre wasn't cool, sports were cool. But we together, had been invited to travel up from our backwater palookaville and go to the party of girls in the year above us, and stay overnight.

It seemed the stuff a boner-comedy/coming of age movie was about. I can't speak for B, but my expectations were ratched up sky high. This would surely give me the kind of insight that would give me incredible credibility to hold over my peers. 

We got to the party and I was told my outfit was pretty okay. B was wearing a hat a lot those days. I didn't drink and wouldn't start drinking, before stopping again, for a few more years. I didn't see the point. The party got underway and I was struck pretty much instantly by the disillusionment of my expectations. It was clear that by Palookaville standards this party was pretty tame. 

The big smoke kids were neither more erudite nor sophisticated than my friends back home. Besides one quirky girl I briefly made eye contact with while she danced across a room lost in that particular jam, the party goers were universally more basic than the scum I was used to associating with. 

The nature of the party itself was music and booze, I sat somewhere for a while and witnessed what for me was a tragically superficial courtship between a girl that I recall having a first name in common with a state and a guy who was kind of just there that involved her picking up his bolle or oakley sunglasses and trying them on, before making out with him. I felt they were fairly evenly matched 5s, and though I wouldn't have had the vocabulary at the time, found myself reminiscing about how much higher the batting average was in my own year level at school. 

There were two obvious explanations as to why I was not having a good time, the first being that I was stone cold sober. It's really easy to throw a party if you assume what your guests want to do was get really drunk. The other thing, was that I had simply expected too much, like thinking joining the freemasons will get you into some esoteric cult, instead of a sad buffet where a bunch of old dudes eat corned beef and mash potatoes. 

I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out I only gave the party 30 minutes or so of actual attention. I slunk off probably in search of a bathroom, and wound up sitting in the front room chatting to K's mum and dad. I can't remember the details of the conversation, just that it was engaging and stimulating for me. It likely would have involved small talk, then discussing whatever they were watching on tv before going down all the pathways of associated ideas on offer.

I probably hung out with K's parents for an hour. The party wasn't an all night rager, being for 16 year olds, so it must have wound up by like 1am or so. I got billeted into a guest room bunk bed next to my ex girlfriend's friend P. I think she applied makeup to my face, and I recall having an argument about Clapton vs Hendrix with these two 17 or 18 year old guys, that S had told me off for ridiculing their appearance, one being an ex boyfriend of hers, and while I wouldn't learn the word until seeing the Seinfeld episode where George dumps his accountant girlfriend for being pretentious, those two guys were quite possibly, the first pretentious people I ever met. 

I recall them arguing that Clapton had turned lame, and I rebutted that had Hendrix lived he also would have turned lame. They partially conceded that had Hendrix lived, he would have done disco. I think they remarked on the makeup P had applied to my face, that I was "in" with P. I gave their suggestion some thought, and was conscious of P's proximity, but also that B had expressed an interest in her in the past, my guilt over breaking up with her friend, my ex, and that I hadn't really thought of P that way.

The next day B and I took the train back to palookaville, were he told me he couldn't believe that I didn't hook up with P. I asked him why I would hook up with P, and he ejaculated "because then you wouldn't be frigid anymore." I was left with this odd feeling that B was more concerned with my frigidity than I was. B had previously helped coach me through asking out Sarah, and shortly after this eye-opening party we went out again, this time I asked her out all by myself, feeling our first relationship had failed due to the insertion of a middle man who wasn't my wingman and frankly didn't understand what he was doing there. It wasn't B, who was my wingman.

Years later I was hanging out with my friend Paolo, an Italian Graphic designer. He was telling me he was throwing a party at his new sharehouse he was pretty excited about. Either I said I would love to come, or he headed me off, but the result was him explaining to me that he only wanted people under 30 at this party.

I asked him how old he thought I was. As it turned out, I was in my early twenties, and Paolo was over 30. At which point, the party was sounding more like a creepy event with Harem-aspiration undertones, but it was the first, and maybe even last time someone drastically overshot my age.

I'm pretty sure despite him learning my age, he still didn't want to invite me because he knew me primarily as an economist. At that point a I was a self-taught hobby-economist. I would go get a degree later to ride out the GFC. 

This exchange made an impression though, because the general rule is that people assume I am younger than I actually am, sometimes much younger. Younger than people who are younger than me. Likely a biproduct of not drinking, not smoking, and not partying hard.

Paolo gave me a key though, and that party in Melbourne is my most vivid memory of avoiding kids proximate to my own age and seeking out the company of adults. For some reason, my development was asynchronous, in some sense, Paolo was actually the best at guessing my age, I was in some ways 30 years old when I was 15.

Now there's a process of elimination to be gone through here - I was not emotionally mature, that's for sure. This leaves me with 'cognitively mature' and I'm just not sure what that means.

As mentioned, my grades were not that spectacular.

Knowledge vs Intelligence

You probably do know the difference between knowledge and intelligence, but in my experience most people have no real reason to contemplate it. They can use both terms correctly in a sentence so I don't want to come out guns blazing and accuse most, nor any people of thinking them synonyms.

Having said that, in the context of education the two concepts often get confused, mostly in who gets labelled "the smart kids."

This post has been a bit highschool and primary school heavy, which is to be expected when invoking pedagogy and andragogy, but perhaps the easiest-to-hand example of the difference between knowledge and intelligence are nerds and fandoms. 

Somebody who knows everything there is to know about Mobile Suit Gundam, who blows their wages collecting "Gun-pla" collector kits and gets fired from their job after it is discovered they spent work time making over 260 entries to Wikipedia all related to Gundam has a wealth of knowledge and is objectively not intelligent.

However, then there's the tricky problem of not knowing what intelligence is. As a student I was more like ChatGPT than I'd care to admit, I excelled in the subjects where I could just spew out cogent-sounding sentences on a page that made seemingly intelligent points about a book I was required to read or a story I'd been told about the economy, history, geography or some shit. 

It was even better if the assessment involved me getting up and talking because that was even less effort, but I was so averse to spending any of my own time on schoolwork, I would also often roll the dice on not being called up in the first class of doing presentation based assignments, and be unprepaired. If I got called and wasn't ready, I'd fess up and take the 10% per day grade reduction.

Maths though, I was a dumbass. I had to go to effort, or otherwise take my lumps. Some units were straightforward enough, but I can recall sitting in classes observing that the kids who were good at maths could simply see things I couldn't, like the difference of two squares. They would recognise the actual problems to be solved quickly.

I did better in physics, probably because physics somewhat lends itself to andragogy style presentations. It's obvious what the point of quadratic equations are when you need to calculate if a speeding bus can maintain a high enough speed to jump a gap in an underconstruction overpass without losing so much speed that it triggers a speed sensative explosive device on the bus that couldn't slow down.

Or the point of knowing when a rock thrown from a cliff-top will hit the ground. It's easy to extrapolate this out into a career in aerospace engineering and stuff.

The point is "the smart kids" broadly speaking, is a misnomer. Schools discovering smarts is largely a biproduct of what they are testing for POSIWID style. As alluded to, "merit" consists of some combination of three factors - Innate talent (which includes intelligence), Effort (which includes conscientiousness) and Education and Training (which is basically investment).

Private schools are often criticized for "spoon feeding" which is kind of unfair, because by Daniel Markovitz breakdown, that's kind of what education and training is, you primarily invest in an instructor to show kids how to do things correctly. Markowitz though, also points out the massive disparities in investment in his home country of the US, where it is estimated the richest private schools spend on average $75,000 USD per year, per pupil educating their children, whereas in public schools the annual investment is $12,000. Almost $900,000 is spent on the wealthiest kids education compared to $144,000 on a public school student.

Anyway, my school was private, and wouldn't have cost anywhere near an almost million dollars, but certainly there would have been a significant disparity. Grades reflected effort, either through the conscientiousness of the student themselves and/or the effort of the tutors and instructors via investment. 

I'd now like to try and describe my subjective experience of what people throughout my life, have tended to label as 'intelligent' about my character.

For me it is an intuitive sense, I largely pick up unconsciously through both verbal and non-verbal cues of a kind of distance between me and others. Think of like a gameshow, but instead of a buzzer it involves dashing across a circle to pick up an air-horn and sound it. If this sounds like it doesn't have much to do with anything, you'd be right, it very often does it. It's something like being able to perceive the relative speed with which someone's processing power will get to some point. 

You likely experience analogous calculations with street crossing, being able to sense without conscious calculation whether you and a vehicle are on a collision course and adjusting your speed accordingly. Provided you aren't on a phone.

Beyond that sense, it is just a question of investment - and for me, this is a matter of whether the shit is worth knowing or not, relative to my peers, I don't give a fuck about Gundam so why build up a Gundam schema in my mind? 

In this, I had a pervasive sense my teachers, my instructors where somehow not as 'smart' as me, much more so than many of my peers. They simply knew shit by virtue of invested time and training. They also presumably had an interest advantage, like say I was just forced to do history, I have an interest in history, but I was forced to do history like Australian overland exploration expeditions.

So if you let me and my teacher loose in a library with the vague instruction to 'read up on history' I likely would have gravitated towards European, Asian, African and Pre-Columbian Americas feudal history, an area where the unique culture of the Indigenous people's of Australia is light, and the colonization of Australia, though violent, was also very light.

Then you told us after weeks of self directed history reading, that we would be tested on Australian overland exploration expeditions, my teacher would be like "Yesss! my favorite." and I'd be like "What the fuck is this? This isn't going to tell you anything meaningful about our relative capacity at constructing founded and coherent historical narratives."

Suffice to say, this kind of apprehension is both awkward and painful. The boon however, was that lacking the conceptual schema to think in terms of conscientiousness vs intelligence, my late teens thru early 20s were my boom years for serial monogomy. 

Before I come to that though.

Afterschool Special

I was educated almost entirely prior to the publication of Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" which I read somewhere lead to a shift largely in parental demands of educational institutions to focus on specialising so their children could grow up to be Bill Gates - immune from prosecution for sex with underage girls, that is wanting the best for your own child.

The paradigm before Gladwell infected the world with the "10,000 hour" rule, the paradigm was actually generalist, likely trickling down via prole-drift from the Ivy league corruption of admissions policy to exclude Jews and Asians by insisting on 'character' of course developed through activities like lacrosse and rowing, jazz saxophone all things Jews and Asians are known for.

Pick up a school yearbook from the 1990s and you were likely to notice the school captain featuring heavily in the spreads dedicated to rowing, athletics, cricket and football, but also seeing them photographed on stage in that year's production of "Are you there God, It's me Margaret." and in the report about that years success at the state finals of debate, before spotting them again on the school winter exchange program to assist the Fred Hollows cateract surgery charity in Namibia. Track them down and you discover they got into Law or Medicine, having achieved academic honours.

That was the 90s ideal, and I'm sure long term outcomes vary, there was a guest on Oprah once who described this ideal as "intellectual obesity" foisted on kids.

My school Chaplain dedicated a service or maybe it was just a random pep-talk, to discussing the reading up he'd done on the top performers who aced their final years of secondary. He wanted to assure us that the intuition they would rush home from school drink a glass of milk and then hit the books from 4.30pm until midnight every night for 9 months until their final exams was not true. Emphasizing consistent realistic discipline instead and the use of mnemonic tricks to prepare for exams.

What did I do after school? Well mostly I figured out ways to get out of doing any schoolwork. I had to convince first my parents, then my teachers in that chronological order. It was a calibration issue to reclaim as much of my own time as possible for my own purposes. 

I found I could be quite successful in doing whatever the fuck I wanted between 3.30pm and 9.30pm if when I went to bed I spent ten to fifteen minutes coming up with some excuse to tell the teacher. 

I would often calculate how late I could hand in an assignment and still attain a passing grade to put everything off until as late as possible. I would later ascertain that I could go beyond the point at which I needed to get an A+ or perfect score in order to get a C once penalised for lateness because actually grading effectively changed to pass/fail and one could always pass, so I could be a week late and hand in some bullshit worth a C and get a C.

Anything that was just homework, didn't really entail the consequences to require me ever doing it at all, though you can imagine by now why I sucked at Japanese right up until being transported to a Japanese family home. 

It was also very salient to me, very early on that my school was an institution that made its bread by gaming another institution which was for general applicabilities sake - the national university admissions institution. As above, so below, my approach to school was to game out their game. My reward was an abundance of my most precious resource - time. 

Instead of learning what was presented to me, I'd try and learn the meta game, an example I'm sure I've mentioned before, was that my teachers were incentivised to not entrust our education to any self-directed learning. They taught to the assessment, to the practice exams, everything else was window dressing. If they gave me a photo copied handout, it was safe to throw it out immediately after the class. 

My school campus back then produced a common sight of someone lugging a 3kg laptop in a case slung over one shoulder, and a pencil case, notebook and textbook, a school diary, along with a binder that kept handouts. Technology will have cut back much of this luggage, but by my final year I lugged pretty much nothing. I ditched the school issued diary for a phone address book I could fit in my pocket, the little black book studs in 80s and 90s movies and sitcoms set in Manhattan kept girl's numbers in. I just took notes chronologically, because student life is not that fucking complicated.

Knowing my teachers were incentivised not to trust us and instead spoonfeed us, I figured out I only had to pay attention in class. This meant keeping my books closed and listening. I stopped using my laptop altogether by my final year.

The teachers just tell you what you are going to be asked in an exam and how to do it. That's their focus. The trick to being a high school student is to not get in your own head and see things from the institutional perspective.

Throughout my adulthood, I've generally described my education experience as "a joke" or alternatively "a fucking joke." Mark Twain's maxim "Don't let school get in the way of your education" resonated with me deeply. 

I found education to be profoundly industrial and shallow. Of almost no substance, Paul Simon reflected on an even earlier time of less industrialised education and wrote the opening lyrics of Kodachrome, a song to this day I have not got around to listening to myself:

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school / It's a wonder I can think at all

Not what I was expecting. But I wasn't surprised when inspiration of mine, Brazilian champion of workplace democracy Ricardo Semler, spoke about resitting his exams and doing so poorly he wouldn't have been able to enter the courses for the qualifications he held, it aligned perfectly with the sheer arbitrariness of secondary content that screams out from the pages of our then hardcopy issued VTAC guides where courses ranging from Arts to Commerce had prerequisites of a passing grade in English. 

I can't divulge all the tricks private schools pull to privilege their students over public schools who generally educate in good-faith meritocracy. The largest one was just a photocopy budget. In my STEM subjects we were handed phonebook size slabs of practice exams, including like 4 years of past official exam papers, and then dozens of private company produced practice exams.

But even prior to that, my school was not the worst offender, but students were strongly encouraged to do bullshit subjects to game out the scaling system. My school didn't even try to hide what it was doing when it shoved all its best maths students into the remedial math subject to exploit the loophole that the scaling didn't sufficiently penalise top-scoring students. Other schools taught Latin and Hebrew and shit, you know, the most useful and practical languages. Now they are useful and practical if you go onto Law or academia, but many private schools produce graduates that go onto Engineering and Actuarial studies at top universities that have studied Latin and Hebrew.

School would not have been a joke if I had wanted one of the top prizes, if I'd wanted to do Law or Medicine at Melbourne University, I would have had to work really hard and also risked failure. I was able to calibrate what I was likely to get, with what I wanted to do (a business degree) and recognise I could spare myself about 80% of the effort some of my peers were going to.

That's something really wrong with me.

Approximately Right

Let's play mastermind. You can play along, I can't really play, because I'm making up the rules. Here's the deal, I'm going to reveal a sequence of numbers 1 at a time. If you can guess the rule that defines the sequence, then you get 10 points, minus the number of numbers in the sequence that have been revealed. If you guess wrong, then you are disqualified. 

Ready? Go.

1 - - - - - - - - 

Here's where I would buzz in. If the first number revealed is one, a prime number then there's relatively few places it can go. If this is the first sequence presented that begins with the number 1, then it is probably less likely to be one of the trickier or more obscure rules, like the fibonacci sequence, or an osscilating wave of 1s and 0s, it is most probably going to be the 1 times table, or normal counting of integers. That's what I'm guessing.

1 2 - - - - - - -

We've eliminated a descending sequence, and also any binary code. Btw I already have 10 points or am disqualified, because my brain has done the work it typically does and lost interest. The odds being the 1s time table are looking better now, but there's still room for some trick, like an offset fibonacci sequence ommitting the 0 and the 1 starting at t = 2 or whatever. It could also be an offset 2x table starting at 2^0 bullshit tricks like that.

1 2 3 - - - - - -

So now it's either the 1 times table or an offset fibo sequence but most other bullshit has been eliminated. It could be some kind of sine wave rule but those options would increasingly come across as grift and punish students for thinking probabalistically.

1 2 3 5 - - - - -

So there we have it, it's a fib sequence starting at x or t = 2, this is where if you don't grab 6 sweet points you are a dumbass or have some serious risk aversion emotional issues you might want to look at.

1 2 3 5 8 - - - -

That's more or less enough information to approach 100% confidence you know the rule. I scored 0 points, and this is because something that is wrong with me is that I don't care about points, so much as the glory of guessing a sequence from a single data point.

This is how my mind works, it extrapolates out a good enough fit from minimal data and acts without certainty based on evaluating consequences.

I used school to exercise this capacity, largely because it was the most entertaining option.

Context Context and More Context

My first corporate job exposed me to meme culture. Social media either didn't exist at that point or hadn't been widely adopted, so it came in the form of chain emails filled with crap. Racist screeds that were completely uninformed about how everything was made overseas, to crappy jokes like "Have a grape time" and a picture of a grape.

One I was sent was a side by side comparison of a couples diary entry. The pink page involved a woman describing her concern over her partners depression and refusal to open up about his feelings, wondering what could be going wrong with him and taking an inventory of where they were at in their relationship, before expressing her surprise and relief when her seemingly futile attempts to reach him resulted in a breaking of an emotional dam and culminating in a passionate bout of lovemaking. 

His diary read "Can't believe my football team lost. Had sex tho."

It's pretty bad, an argument can be made that it denegrates both sexes, but clearly the woman is the victim here. She would be criticized for 'overthinking' her partner's depressed affect, the silly bitch is egocentrically placing herself at the center of his emotional life where he actually isn't invested in their relationship at all. She is simply someone he uses to masturbate.

In this example, someone scrambles incompetantly for context to explain another's behaviour, it comes to mind because I was reading this:

Greg willingly took a seat at the typewriter and laboriously typed out his story and explanation. An hour and a half later, he handed the pages to his mother... 

"It all began in third grade..." started the first paragraph. Greg went on to describe in careful detail how he and Joe had met and embarked upon a rocky friendship. 

At certain times, Joe seemed to want to be friends. At other times, Joe refused to allow Greg to participate in ongoing playground activities. Greg admitted to sometimes leveling "insults" at Joe in retaliation for these playground rejections. 

Greg listed incidences from 3rd and 4th grades as well as the 5th grade incident which precipitated the immediate problem. For each incident, he detailed each child's behaviors with painful accuracy in an effort to render an objective view of what had happened. 

Greg's outburst was, according to him, not only a response to the day's happenings, but a reaction to the entire pattern of incidents composing their relationship over the past two years. 

The argument of the day was simply "the straw that broke the camel's back."

The next day, Joe, too, wrote out his version of the fight. 

He wrote simply, "Greg hit me and then I hit him back and he kept hitting me."

The day I read this, I'd sent a carefully worded email to a friend admonishing them for a faux pa I felt obliged to address. This case study was the first I considered, that a large explanation for what I was responding to, was that my friend likely committed the faux pa because they experienced the same incident as decontextualised, much like Joe. "We were talking about this and so I said this."

I can't really reproduce my email here, suffice to say I took into account our entire interpersonal history, what's going on in their personal life, what they were unaware of me knowing or suspecting, their profession and training, their personality, their history etc.

I often get accused of overthinking things, but late last year I caught up with an old friend and colleague who did a shout out asking for bike parts. We were reminiscing about a former employer, where I had cut and run and they had stayed, which they attributed to having a major health incident.

My decision to cut and run though, had been contextualising and extrapolating, willing to be approximately right that the company was going down the toilet and weighing up the costs and benefits of staying. My friend, near as I can guess, decontextualised the situation down to the role he was hired to perform, and focused on performing it.

This strikes me as fairly normative, and generally its okay, its fine. But like it produces results like tech workers getting laid off in droves. 

Those jobs are highly competitive, when Amazon, Dell, Google, Meta, Microsoft or whatever make 2,500 people redundant, they are making a bunch of people redundant that maybe were willing to go through a 6 month job interview process to get that job because the salary was lifechanging.

They probably also needed to really know their shit, they aren't dumb people, just myopic. They took as their whole context probably the total capitalisation of the employer, the salary on offer and the job role. They neglected to contextualise it in firms that were able to borrow cash at 0 or sometimes even negative rates for decades, and VC firms that could borrow at 1% and deduct any bad bets from their taxable income.

The whole of silicon valley though was riding roughly a 12 year slump of dud products from NFTs to AR and VR and the Metaverse. Ed Zitron tells me cloud computing was the last real successful innovation. Right up close, it might seem incredibly important to beat Google's integration of Gemini into Google office by getting Agentic AI via Copilot into Microsoft 365. In the meantime your highest value decision makers purchasing business licenses for your subscription based software type with two fingers and need to ask their nephew how to put the 'flex' emoji into a text message to a fellow boomer.

Pedagogy, to bring this post back on track, is based on a presumptive decontextualisation, people deposit their kids in schools, and largely (even nowdays where parents make demands of teachers, and teachers quit) trust the process. You send your kids to school because that's what people do. No context needed, people who home school home school because they believe God made everything and Science is the devil or some shit.

Kids follow teacher instructions because they trust there's some reason their parents insist they be there. Like dreamers, kids tend to accept the reality they are presented with. Tragically when their reality is traumatic.

Just as I seemed to maybe need an andragogic approach to my own education, I know plenty of adults that still basically approach the world via pedagogy, that's how they read their news...fuck me "AI" has been eye opening to the amount of adult pedagogy going on. 

But I don't just need andagogy in the context of a classroom, the whole world is my classroom. Last year I was having fun with asking people the question "what is the economy for?" It stumps grown adults. A significant number of them go "huh."

This is the unexamined life Plato asserted was not worth living.

I have been having an Existential Crisis since I was 23 years old

But only last year did I finally reframe it as: "It's not that I don't know what to do with my life, that would be easy. There are any number of practical suggestions to engage me in something to do. It's that I don't know what everyone else is doing with their life."

Over the summer holiday period, I went to an Xmas party with friends who have young kids. The party was attended by a bunch of young children, and I felt bad about not having children of my own. I had to process the grief of lost relationships and opportunities and contemplate my own mortality and where to next, which isn't that pleasant.

By late summer I went to another party of friends whose children are almost all grown up now. This had the opposite effect. I saw people my own age who were prematurely boomers, and after a brief age of innocence, their children were now joining us in the boat we are all in. 

When Albert Camus wrote "we must imagine Sysiphus happy" it is a brilliant answer to the absurdity of life. But this must be qualified by pointing out that Sisyphus' worked in a sustainable economy. Sarah Paine encourages me to use the Strategic-Operational-Tactical framework, we live in an operational world with no strategy.

My own answer to "What is the economy for?" is descriptive rather than idealistic, I think the economy serves the purpose of keeping people occupied. It facilitates habit, to facilitate our large stable populations. Smoothing out our existence so bar the passing of the seasons, one week looks much like the next.

It was a colonial imposition that the Chinese had a curse "may you live in interesting times" but the world does seem to hate all the interest having a clown in charge of the most powerful military that has said fuck you to all the checks and balances, creates.

From my limited understanding of Paolo Friere's 'Pedagogy of the Oppressed' he assert that the main function of education is to replicate the system of oppression into the future. 

I'll maintain that my existential crisis didn't hit me until I was in my early-to-mid-20s, and I'll even forgive myself for thinking that I had answered it for another good 15 years by choosing to be an artist. But I was aware of the absurdity of it all from early in my education. I could see the pointless, habitual repitition.

I don't want to be too bleak, I don't think Friere was accurate if he asserted some strong form of the replication argument. I am certainly not a nihilist. 

I probably see society more like a single occupant SUV, even in the EV era. Most of the engine's work is moving the vehicle which is like a tonne. The occupant is going to weigh about 70-100kgs. Basically a rounding error. 

Society struck me as similarly inefficient, most of the world's population are engaged in creating the future world population. A few of them will contribute to progress, and we must admit, a few will contribute to regress via conceiving and popularising stupid ideas and taking stupid actions. 

I squandered a lot of opportunities to engage both in creating a future population (so far) and contributing substantially to the story of humanity (so far) because I wasn't aligned with how people are engaged in their early, protean development. 

I lived a kind of anxiety dream, though I wasn't anxious, where I dreamed as an adult I was back in school, and subject to the petty myopic politics of the in-crowd. I suspect I just fucking lived that though, with no waking up, and plenty of warning time that exams were coming. I had agency over my own unpreparedness, I often preferred to be unprepared that take on the costs of being prepared.

I'm exhausted now, so I'm going to tie this post off. I remind you it is but a candidate for what could be wrong with me, and a highly speculative work of fiction at that merely 'based on a true story' I can't recall all the details of.

Now if you want to be hilarious, post in the comments how you suspect I might be autistic.