Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Body Language ...ugh ...?

I think this is the third time I've written about body language, so I'll be brief.

I've found my study of it fruitful. It has counter-intuitively helped calm my mind and made me a less superstitious person.

The only way body language can be of interest is if it is involuntary, subconscious and explained. Not a very high standard of explanation, just something that allows my conscious mind to reconcile with subconscious behavior.

And that is where I draw the line. I want to be able to recognise body language when ever I am sufficiently present enough to notice it, so that I can walk away from that situation feeling like it went well vs not well.

Because previously I used to spend much more time debating my intuitions, my gut and chest feelings with rational arguments as to why I was 'just seeing things' or whatever. Basically I spent a lot of time doubting, in conflict with myself. Which gave way to denial, which could then be used to exacerbate bad situations, pass up good opportunities or simply just waste my time anxious wondering how some shit is going to pan out.

That's useful. I would venture on my own experience that it has actually been healthy.

Then there's the 'life hacks' or 'how to use body language to...' type shit. Outside of the domain of acting, the very notion of using body language to manipulate communication, in the same way we manipulate verbal communication destroys all interest in the subject.

The moment people are able to lie to me with their posture, there's no benefit to me being able to read that posture. The moment I try to manipulate my studies into presenting myself as attracted to women that I am not, or approachable to people I plan to attack - I can only see such things leading to even more tarnished reputations than if I was just a regular liar. Furthermore I'm sure the cognitive effort would probably override any chance I had of reading and intuitively responding to the body language of others.

I have no plans to think about which way my feet are pointed in a conversation. If I want to leave my feet point towards the exit. If I want to talk to people my feet point towards them. Why do I want to start making decisions about this shit? I don't. But I'm happy to notice when I do it.

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