Thursday, June 14, 2012


So on tuesday I went to meet a baby, my friends baby. Throughout my life I probably couldn't tell you just how uninterested I have been in babies. I couldn't tell you because I find them so uninteresting that I'm happy for them just to occur somewhere in the background.
Look I get babies, I understand their place in society, but to me they have always seemed all risk and no upside. I have never ever wanted to hold a baby, I mean I would be holding a baby, that to me is the upside I am giving somebody else a break from holding it and then run the potential risk of dropping the baby, or having them throw up on me or shit on me or whatever.

All this thinking is background by the way, I guess my disinterest was apparant enought that nobody ever put the offer on the table of holding a baby.

Now somebody reading this is probably expecting a 'but' at some point. And how I've discovered babies are fascinating. But you know what, beyond an intellectual curiosity, babies are not generally speaking fascinating.

The exception about the baby I met on tuesday, is A) the baby is a baby of two very interesting and wonderful people, people that leave me no doubt that they will be great parents and also produce an interesting person. B) my friends put the expectation on me to be excited and fascinated, where almost nobody else does.

SO this is where interesting people come from, I mean there's some risk that being the offspring of interesting people they'll end up being one of those painfully boring people because they've had everything of interest about them given to them and not earned. But I'm fairly confident that because I'm involved in their life that they'll wind up genuinely interesting.

And so its all interesting, where a person I'll know and talk to in a bunch of years and be able to have conversations, to see, like observing japanese people, how emotionally expressive they can be with such a lack of facial features. Like baby got on well while I was holding them, but give them back to mum and boy the jubilation was palpable.

Something I find weird though is gender identity. Like it's begun, baby is a 'she' and it just seems so irrelevantly premature. Like in the first two years of her life, there's really no fucking difference, no consequence as to whether baby has this or that. Germaine Greer said that puberty is the ultimate betrayal for girls when her body inhibits her ability to be a tomboy. Agree or not, surely we can all agree that before two or something, the difference between 'he' and 'she' is conceptual, purely conceptual.

And yet, and fucking yet, this is where people, fucking otherwise feminist minded or 'this place is sexist' people and by people I'm probably sexistly saying 'women' feel it is safest, most harmless to typecast a baby girl as a girly fucking girl. Buy them pink dresses and fairy wings and dolly's and baby's for baby girls to play with and shit.

And it just seems all topsy turvy to me. I mean the gender roles are real and the 'holy grail' of raising a kid gender nuetral is highly questionable, because it probably carries with it more disadvantages than any gender role could in the current day. Plus, I mean to speak frankly 'male privelege' is the holy grail, it isn't what it used to be, but whether you have a boy or girl you want them to have that male privelege, not to not identify with any gender role.

And women have to dig themselves out of a hole, that was not intended in any way shape or form to be a euphamistic pun although immediately as soon as I read it I knew it was one. But the point being that a baby to me is just a fucking baby and it feels strange to be saying 'he' or 'she' to me because it simply has no meaning at one week old, or two weeks or... at some point it will make a difference. It makes a difference when you can say 'hey, dresses were designed for you.' or 'nice moustache' and particularly 'don't go in that bathroom'.

I don't know about gender neutral, but I mean handshaking should be taught straightout boy or girl, and how to kiss on the cheek, give hugs etc. It would seem the latter years are where you get into accentuating the particular beauty whether masculine or feminine of a child. Doing it to a baby is just way too premature.

Also, being 'Uncle' finally had a straight girl mistake me for being gay. It was awesomely entertaining.

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