They found me...those fuckers

The above video perfectly captures my sentiments if not my literal response to articles on "leadership" in my school magazine.
I have moved 3 times since leaving high school and my parents twice. So I thought I was pretty safe, but when I found a shrinkwrapped slim magazine in my post I had assumed it was from Proz Oz a magazine I generally don't get around to reading but don't mind recieving because its worthwhile.
Yet to my horror I see a little fucking arian child missing teeth smiling out at me and me thinks. My god, my fucking god. They have tracked me down, there litterally are people with nothing better to do than keep alumni informed about the goings on of a school.
The thrill an old collegiate gets from reading about the volleyball and lawn bowles premiership team (although to be fair my team never took the lawn bowles title back in the day) but really the real horror of it all is the shitehouse spin spinning out of the bullfuck mouths of the staff editorials or maybe you could call them 'edutorials'.
Namely writing not one but 5 articles on what staff have learnt about leadership from an expensive consultant.

Now going to a private school is great, particularly a small sized community oriented one. Your peers are just regular folk, the lessons aren't noticably different from the public school ones (I went to a decent public school as well) and otherwise its just a regular school with less strikes.
Except EXCEPT how these fuck bag schools market themselves, you've seen the adds in the Good Weekend and the Age. things like 'Carey: Success comes standard' and 'Wesley: Success wears purple' and sickening Saab like slogans.
And this is exactly what my school does. I mean I know the cashcows are wealthy social climbing cocktard balifornians that own all the successful fast food franchises in Ballifornia, aka people dumb enough to be convinced my old school is somehow ivy league, but seriously the kids don't want to be marketed as preppy boy hitler youth. They want to be cool. I mean half the students are spud farmers and the other half kids that got expelled from actual exclusive private melbourne schools.
Where's the articles on 'what it means to be a wigger' and 'Drug busts in the boarding house' the school captain shouldn't be writing about leadership but about where the best places to masturbate in the boarding house.
Stop marketing your students as subhuman filth like in the video above. Because the real truth about private schools is how thoroughly unimpressive such students are.
And we know what happens, they go to Uni, push their binge drinking to new extremes, partake in a couple of milk challanges and eventually emerge as relatively well adjusted individuals.