you are Art

Starting the zine has been a cathartic experience for me. Sure writing scripts is a creative outlet, but it's also fucking work too, I mean with TV scripts there's a shape you have to fit it too. Furthermore if you want your script to see the light of day you have to bring other people in.
A story though. At Bryce's 21st he had arranged for me to speak, and the line up was the delightful spud and then shon-shon and me the bum to cap it off. So we were all huddled in a corner and Spud made a speech that I thought could not be beat, it was basically a list of inside jokes that was three pages long. One could have assumed they were prompting notes of amusing incidents except spud forgot to elaborate on any of them so it ended up having all the impact of a brownlow vote tallying (surely the worlds least captivating night of television) it was all '...Jenny Peters, yes we all remember Jenny Peters...and the Eric Clapton phase, who remembers that...' but nobody did or if they did it would be like 1 in the list of 20 that Spud read out. I thought it was just fucking awesome for a speech. I laughed all through it.
Shona's speech was actually good in the sense that people who would have thought spud's speech was incromprehensible and poorly planned would think Shona's was charismatic, natural and entertaining and I have to agree, it was enjoyed by all. I did much the same only I waffled for about 20 minutes and then sat down.
Then a girl got up and made a speech better thn Spud's infact it was pretty much the best speech ever. It was shamelessly sycophantic and emotional and intense. I think all present were uncomfortable and it was entirely out of left field. There were tears from the speaker who declared Bryce 'my soulmate' and the clarifying statement 'some people say Bryce is an artist, but that's not true Bryce is art'
It was the fucking best.
In theatrical terms it would be called absurdist. These two phenomanally different speeches betwixt which lay two relatively normal speeches.
Now as Bill Cosby would say 'I told you that story so I could tell you this one...et the pudding', Morley got screwed over a couple of weeks back and I was talking to him on messenger yesterday about being a comedian which is pretty much an entreprenuership anyway but I was talking about gig's I would enjoy and one was just to go to a comedy club and see morley talk about his failed relationship* in an outburst so depressing in it's intensity and so fucking emo and out of control it is enjoyed by nobody, I would love to see that. It smacks of performance art something I keep telling people I am at parties.
Another one was to book into a club frequented by African Americans and being white just copy Dave Chappelle's material including gratuitous use of the 'n' word. I mean it would most likely be dangerous to health but I would see the amusing irony in removing the irony from the racially charged humour those guys use. In fact you wouldn't even have to have Afro-americans in the audiance it would just probably be better to be hated for it than have some fucking rednecks in the audiance agreeing with you.
That's the end of the second story that went nowhere and I told yous them because art that I enjoy is usually not enjoyable by the masses, and by masses I mean people whose year sounds like this 'From April to June I watched big brother, then from July to now I've been watching Australian idol' in that I like art where stuff isn't immediately apparant, where the artist likes to fuck with you by telling a long story that doesn't go anywhere.
Like my dream of being invited to be key note speaker at my old highschool one day and telling a joke for 20 minutes then sitting down without delivering anything remotely resembling a punch line.
At ryla a dude called AB apparently on the bus I wasn't on spent a bus trip explaining the rules of a game they were going to play to help pass the bus trip but the explanation of the rules ran for the duration of the bus trip and the game was never played. That's fucking hilarious.
My 'zine aint like that but it's the fact that art is at it's fundamental level undefinable and thus devoid of any rules that makes it so liberating. So I guess you can say that a tv script is and isn't art.
My zine for me though is along the same lines as this blog. It's about not hiding, in a sense it will be one long uncomfortable 21st speech. Except it will make less sense, be full of inside jokes and furthermore it will be illustrated.
I've been doing a lot of research into the drawing aspects of the illustration because for the first time in a long time I'm actually trying to push myself to a higher level. Having said that I found this site called cgfocus looking for pictures of the maxx's Mr.Gone and like youtube wasted an hour jumping from folio to folio. I also noticed on Harvard's site he has all these links to artists and I thought.
That's a whole side I almost never show about myself these days, my artistic influences. Probably because I haven't done anything artistic in So long. I'll revamp the fucken blog soon though. Promise.
Anyway, so there's this Police officer standing on a corner and it's his first day on the job. He's thinking of the instructions given to him: you are on duty for four hours, you can patrol four square blocks from the center of williams st & david street. Every hour you must complete your parol twice and you can stop for coffee if you like. Oh and one more thing don't give any kids any change for the wishing well.
The last instruction had the police man perplexd particularly since he was not told why. Anyway his first walk around the blocks passes without incident and he splits a 5 dollar note at a coffee stand. He walks around the block again for the second time that hour and buys a bagel, he's thinking about whether he will do enough walking to counter all the fat he's putting on in his new post when an old lady asks him to help find her car.
The lady is obviously a little deranged but he walks with her nicely as she inspects every white car to see if it is hers. Eventually the cop get's a call over the radio, apparantly the old ladies husband is looking for her as she wandered off while a kid was asking him for change.
Anyway the old couple are reunited and the policeman sits down by a fountain. He is only sitting there for a minute when a kid says 'excuse me sir, can I have some change to throw in the wishing well?' and the policeman says 'what wishing well?' and the kid says 'this fountain, if you throw coins in and make a wish it might come true, I wanna make a wish but I don't have any coins.'

*my councillour said a failed relationship is not the failure of a person.