Happy Birthday Magical Unicorn

Every year for the past 5 (6?) years I send a birthday card to Japan that is too late for the 6th of September which is of course the birthday of 'my wife' Yoko Kimura. Yoko is not actually my wife in fact I hear from her once every couple of years or so. She's just a girl with beuatiful canine teeth that stick out perpendicular to the others so her lip curls around them and measures in at a massive 146cm tall and says my name 'tooooooMuuuuu' in a shrill but unique way, I cant tell if I'm anoying her or impressing her when she talks to me.
The marriage of course was never consumated, we are really just disfunctional pen pals and in the end I'm not even sure why I send her a card every year except that I've been doing it every year and the thought of stopping kills me, if she even notices at all. I dunno. But I do it,
So happy birthday Yoko my magical unicorn who doesn't exist but does and how many people do you know that have met a unicorn?*

*or a horse with a sword on it's head.