A World Without Subtlety or Tact

He entered the room, brushing his ratty locks out of his eyes. As he surveyed the inhabitants of the room there eyes met. He made his way across the grey floor closing to a comfortable right angle. ‘Hey.’ He says. ‘Hey.’ He says back. In fact ‘Hey’ is the only thing anyone says on the Utopia that is planet guy.
Planet guy was not a homosexual dig but an asexual planet that existed on the cover of my Year 11 note book. I’d figured out the whole eco-system. Biodiversity was out. There were guys all looking like me with a scraggy mop of hair, goatee and white shirt black shorts. They reproduced like bacteria, asexually. They only said hey and lacking any motivation to impress anyone wandered around the plains of Planet Guy eating food and saying ‘Hey’
This is where I need to be at. I’ve been single almost 7 months now. I have no idea how the whole dating scene works. None. All these signals and hints I’m meant to pick up. I spent 5 months rebuilding my esteem from scratch and now when a girl diddles her hair in a certain way or mentions something about something and that means your in but then you get kicked in the head and have to find a new social circle. I just don’t get it. I need to rub myself in meat and just hope the carnel instincts take over.