Condescend Me Mofo

Distinct above all others there is one subject matter of which I have absolutely no authority: drugs. I'd be a pussy to claim that caffeine and alcohol really make me an 'out there dude' as Hillsong would probably call it.
Fact of the matter is I haven't touched weed, e, speed or any of the other readily available shit available to teenagers and readily available to private school students. I'd never go speak to children about why they shouldn't take drugs or any of that shit. My own reasons for not taking them are that I got a schizophrenic blood relative and three of four of my friends using benign marijuana have managed to trip some kind of unbenign mental illness.
No what gets my nuts all choked up is when I'm at a party having to listen to someone talk down at me because I don't use fucking drugs. What a fucked up phenomena, I've never ever wanted to get any older or maturer and if I had my way I'd still be playing transformers in the park cept my friends all grew up. But seriously these people puffing out urine flavoured smoke at me smirking at me with their red bloodshot eyes because I'm so ignorant and a slave to the man just tick me off.
They tick me off because its just plain not impressive. Its not impressive, I don't mean that in a 'you're destroying your life' sense, fact is if somebody smoked a joint or popped a pill then picked up a paint pallet and did some out there Surrealist/Dadaist painting on a sharehouse wall, I'd be impressed. But thats not what happens, never, it never ever happens.
What happens is somebody asks me what I do:
'I'm a sales analyst.'
'What's that involve?'
'Forecasting, budgeting, customer satisfaction indexes.'
'Why do you do that?'
'I get paid to do it.'
'Do you find it interesting?'
'Yeah, it's a game like any other.'
'So you do it because you earn money?'
'Of course.'
'What is money? Why would you measure your life in terms of $?' (this is where they think they are going to blow my mind but aren't)
'Money has no inherant value in and of itself but can be used to obtain the benifits from the things that it buys.'
'So you think that you can buy happiness?'
'No I think I can spend some money on things I appreciate, I make me happy.'
'Do you know what it is to be poor?'
'Yes.'
'No you don't.'
'Yes I do.'
'Have you ever tried it?'
'Have you ever tried being dead?'
And so on and so fucking on. Fact is like a goth post 1997 it just isn't impressive. It just aint shocking. I did marketing and economics of course I've thought about all this shit. Most people do. I try to be as conscious as possible, you think you have extra insight because you work just enough shifts at KFC to support your drug habit and have read/talked to some other guy that has read a book on Zen Buddhism/Yoga/You fucking name it.
I just feel condescended too. I'm sure if we achieved mutual understanding I come across as a self righteous arsehole because I haven't used drugs, but the way I feel is that your parents must be major fucking squares if you think you are liberated by using drugs. I mean they universally impare brain functionality, your focus has to be narrowed not broadened. Of course I can't speak with authority because I've never tried a single drugs.
Sad fact is I know far less people who haven't tried drugs than people who have. You're not in the mind blowing minority, your in the majority. So don't look down on me for not seeking inspiration via perspective altering chemicals.
The only sensation I can compare it to is working in a call centre, after three days you lose all sympathy and love for old people and start picturing yourself dancing on a huge mass grave of them. Just like the sweet sensation of selling some stoners pawned guitar to an innocent third party even though you know they were going to buy it back that afternoon.
So there gauntlet thrown, blow my mind with a drug insight, blow my fucking mind!