Spiegaltent spiegaltent

So on Monday night 'Cup Eve' the night with the worst ring to it in all the years calander I did the charitable thing and took Miki to the ACE spiegal party. No point advertising it now, you probably were double checking all your fashions for the field that night that was made for cambodians.
It was a great fucking night though. It was the sort of party people only manage to throw in movies or at p-diddy's house. There was good dj's, a dress up theme, charity, imported beer, dancing, circus performers and a stop motion horsey race.
Miki and I both lost and yes I may have attacked a few of the event organisers under the pretense of foul play but seriously it's the sort of party Bruce Wayne goes to and comes home with a boy wonder.
Although my red polyester suit doesn't breath that well and the metabolism of mine that allows me to consume my own weight in cheese on a daily basis had me drenched in sweat I was feeling and dancing pimpaliciously.
I was dropping money on the floor left right and centre in a bid to come across as an oyabun gone charitable with all his ill gotten amphetamine and sex slavery income.
And Kirk, kirk fucken cracks me up every time. His gift for emballishment make him the perfect man for all my future PR endeavors needs a big cheer for everyone. How do I keep falling in with the fucking development crowd? I dunno though I will add ACE and it's Happy School to my sites of value and revel in the beauty of that night you could not join me on and I can't really share because I got given a camera that doesn't take photo's for my birthday.
That's so zen.

Cliche Touche

Ha ha fuck you bush, nobodies going to your birthday party now, not even lowly donald rumsfield.
That being said the Gripe sensation continues, it seems bitching about the fairer sex seems to get a reaction from all 5 people that read this blog. So I'll fucking follow up the Wise and evil John's On love and suffering yes John who updates so rarely he usually leaves a random comment to notify me he has written something new, take on the whole romance and relationship thing, of which he espoused several cliches which skillful councillours will get you to realise without actually saying them so you get all fucken defensive and pissed off that they are treating you like a fucking moron.

If you were meant to be together you still would be, or at least, you will be again: I couldn't agree more, you may have noticed my sampling of 'it's called a breakup because its broken' if your partners cheating on you there is no way you are better off with them. If you're partner doesn't love you, it takes two to tango I'm sorry but they cant just make the relationship work through discipline and effort alone.
Chances are if yer dumped there was a problem, good relationships I think can recognize these and communicate them effectively to eachother and that's where the second half of 'will be again' I don't think you gotta get in a relationship and just hope no problems ever come up.
I remember when John and his favorite girlfriend got back together and a mutual friend of ours found out she threw her hands up in the air and thanked god. Damo on the other hand said 'what they are just two losers that couldn't manage to find anyone else that likes them' or something to that effect, so you have the romantic and the cinic both represented their, I was at the time I think probably still in the throws of desiring my nice safe old comfortable relationship. But also I had observed no real pattern to the 'meant to be' part of 'meant to be together' for example one of my friends had managed to get back with his serial cheating ex in what was considered a bad move by all and probably included him. Some couples I couldn't believe had broken up stayed broken up and vice versa.
It took me much longer to realise that people with low self esteem may in fact be meant to be together, I never really compared my situation to John's because they had had a practical and as far as I could discern amicable break up that truly allowed for reconcilliation.
I had a second chance at my first year girlfriend and it became clear that the way by which we had broken up and the deep seeded reasons behind it simply made the relationship impossible and unworkable. I tried to be clever and I tried to be disciplined and resilient and strong but no matter what you can't reason your way out of being dumped by being smarter and knowing more and you can't fucking make someone love you by rejecting their rejection.
When me and my ex finally decided (final responsibility lying with her. yay!) to not speak to eachother anymore and go our seperate ways I was certainly upset but also pretty eager. I mean eager beyond drawing everything out, unlike ever before I just wanted it done. I had shit to do and realised that even though it felt like I'd come full circle in my developement it was really only half way, and I won't kid myself by saying the process is over.

You need time apart to grow as people: this I couldn't agree with more. If anything its the main point. I got the mopes around my birthday over getting older even though I'm younger than most people I know and associate with and then I realised that looking back at the past year their really wasn't much more I could fit into my life.
I've been through two name changes in less than 1 year, from tohm to tom (because I was tired of pretending to be someone I was not and needed to discover who I was) and then from tom back to tohm (because I discovered that who I was was of my own making and I had created my identity as new and complete in tohm) that double name change aside whilst a lot of me is essentially me friends of old hired by police to track me down on a friday would probably have a hard time of doing it.
Such has been the complete overhaul of my social circle, music tastes and preferences, attire, hobbies, vocabulary, work etc etc etc. My ex having gone to indonesia I always new we'd distance from eachother due to the unshared experience but I sort of didn't count on how much I can change in a year and this was following the feedback on how much I changed in 3 months directly after we broke up.
You seriously don't appreciate what you've got till it's gone, but more importantly often in a relationship the relationship becomes so much a part of your identity that you don't develope as an individual. I literally regressed back to the age I had last been single in my mind which was 16 then caught up 6 years in 3 months. Like some fucking overhaul.
Still it's a great process Shon-shon my oldest and dearest lady friend said 'in every sorrow lies a golden opportunity' it may have been a quote or some shitI don't know. As an interesting aside for reasons I don't understand and haven't consulted a doctor over after getting dumped I regained my sense of smell.
Which was a bad thing when liam left his empty pot on the hot stove for 3 hours but a good thing when Miki's scarf managed to permeate the most beautiful and fragrant fragrance in my room protecting me from the carbon stench of the rest of the house.

Damo needs to stop being a bitch: to true, Damo may be a little dead inside maybe and preoccupied with what is morrally right in a relationship which we all admit has a large grey area particularly when it comes to nutting out women's lib. Girls like anyone love attention and pampering and compliments, yes just as much as you do Damo.
As for being a bitch, you know when Morley asks for a pen and then throws it out the window and asks you for another pen and you give it to him and he throws that out the window and asks you for another pen and you give it to him to 'teach him a lesson'. yeah... you're not teaching him a lesson at all, you're being a bitch.

Reproduced Without Permission

I'm tired of watching the news, listening to Politicians and investigative journalists all walking around witht their tongue up my arse. I got sent this document on Housing Affordability of which Australian Taxation policy is amongst the worst and most irresponsible in the world. If you want to know more go to www.progress.org.au. I shall endeavor to post more criticisms of Australia so maybe one day my fellow citizens may actually generate enough self consciousness to make this country actually great in some way shape or form. anyway read on you people bored at work:

Housing Affordability - The Other side of the debate

The real issue forcing land prices up are the huge economic rents available to land speculators. With Jeff Kennett’s move away from Site Value rating to Capital Improved Value (CIV) rating, land speculators can purchase land, sit on it and wait for the property to grow in value. The constant attack on State Land Taxes ensures a continuing trend for them to be weakened, sending the signal to the marketplace that hoarding land is appropriate.
On a Local level, the combination of these 2 factors has seen a growth of vacant land in inner urban areas in Melbourne. We believe the reduced supply of land from this speculative trend has applied greater pressure on land prices than Melbourne’s 2030 boundary. The huge upward trend in land prices happened well before the 2002 announcement of 2030.
The problem with land supply therefore comes from the private supply of land, dominated by speculators, rather than the public supply of land.
A decade on from Jeff Kennett’s reforms and the results are mounting. The practical evidence abounds us. Cycle through Richmond (Melbourne) and rafts of vacant land can be seen. One 700m stretch of Elizabeth St sees 9 blocks of vacant land and another 4 vacancies in commercial property. However, the official REIV vacancy rates continuously quote at or about 2.1%. Efforts to find a qualitative definition on what constitutes a ‘vacancy’ have so far been fruitless.
At the State level, the recent Bracks Govt reforms to State Land Tax have reduced the rates for upper to medium valued houses. Whilst cuts to stamp duties are appreciated, the overall message gives the go-ahead to speculators to invest in property. Is this why prices in wealthy suburbs such as Hawthorn have increased by 42% in a single year? How long will it be until housing prices in suburbs such as Preston, currently growing at 12%, take them into these top brackets?
On a Federal level, the upward trend in land prices was assisted by the 1996 Negative Gearing reforms. This was enhanced by the halving of Capital Gains (2000) to just 12.5%, less than the taxation of the minimum wage.
A recent report by the UN Special Rapporteur on Adequate Housing, Miloon Kothari, said
“According to official figures, out of the 943,877 low-income persons receiving rent assistance, 35% (330,360) were spending more than 30% of their income on rent, and 9% (85,000 peoples) more than 50%.
With Australia’s negative gearing policy, perhaps the most generous of all developed countries (emphasis added), and the tax benefit from capital gains, a subsidy of $21 billion is given to the high end market." (Aug 06)
As we can see, a combination of these policy changes have given speculators free reign around Australia. A decent holding charge on land is needed, as Julian Disney commented on Lateline (21st August, 2006).
Why should investors be encouraged to make ‘unearned’ speculative gains rather than profits from productive activity? A recent ANU paper by Atkinson & Leigh entitled The Distribution of Top Incomes in Australia revealed that just 20% of the income earnt by the top 0.01% of the population comes from productive activity.
Do we really want to continue this trend?
Share the rent with all and remove the unnecessary burdens of taxation, we say! Then local land supply will be used efficiently, reducing the need for urban sprawl through the encouragement of infill development. This has a cascading effect that soon reduces the cost of housing. It should be remembered that high housing prices are dominated by the cost of land. Land now represents about 70% of property sales prices, rather than the 30% it was in the 70's when the tax system encouraged production over speculation.

By k2 at 2006-10-19 13:00


PS k2 sorry I didn't ask for your permission.

Book Launch

Seems my Gripe this month has caused a sensation, I've never had so many comments, and so many great reviews all containing the word 'fuck' I may be the next doctor phil.
Oprah calls it 'True Liberation'
Calling em as I sees em. No I think it probably has more to do with the fact I mentioned some people personally, you know if I just posted a post titled, 'Everyone I know has a face like a busted arsehole' and proceeded to insult everyone I know I'd probably get some responses.
That being said over the past week I've had some horrifying revelations with my new imaginary girl. Firstly dating is expensive, but on the upside I now have a reason to earn money. Secondly I may still be frigid, as fucken terrifying as that may be I must conclude I have no idea how to actually pick up a girl. I mean Miki questioned the same question I always asked myself thus justyfying my ego through her natural Suspicion - 'how come you didn't have girlfriend' and I had to admit, mostly because I've got no fucking idea how to actually bust a move.
This scares me, the label on my head I strove so hard in year 9 to shake and it may still be lingering on like some relative I hate spending christmas with after all this time.
And fucking fuck you spellcheck I'm not going to capitalise christmas. I fucken wont.
Anyhoo, the third revelation is for anyone that doesn't like heavy metal and think it has no place in the world you should watch this. Cleaning up the streets of Brazil Voodoo stylin'.

Superfluousity

My plea to you the public, or at least private and exclusive group of friends... has any of you ever fucking met anyone, ever who actually uses the back pocket of yo pants? apart from idly using it to feel your lover's arse.
From watching the tom sellick classic, 'mr baseball' he offends his new Japanese owners by putting their business card in his wallet and then putting it in his back pocket. Now the japs are offended because he will 'sit on their name' but that's not the point I mean how could you live like that, fucking sitting on your fucking wallet, uneven arse cheeks I can't imagine it.
Sort of like wearing heels to appear taller. But yeah I buy shorts, they generally have pockets at the back, unless your some standing baba that smokes opium constantly to nullify the constant agony of being on your feet having your joints mortify who the fuck would ever store anything in their back pocket. It makes less sense than shoving condoms full of heroine up your arse comfort wise. I mean fuck. fucking fuck shite.
I noticed a bald patch. On my fucking thigh, a perfectly square bald patch with some regrowth where friction from my wallet rubbed against it. A physical reminder that I have money almost constantly.
Anyhoo if I kept my wallet in my back pocket I would have a square bald patch on my arse and curvature of the spine. And a wallet has to be the most comfortable thing you can put in there.
Mobile phone, fuck no. ipod, why don't I just kick myself in the balls. Yu Gi Oh trading cards?
Seriously this isn't my fucking first attempt at a standup routine (now that was painful) I seriously feel like a retard for not knowing what such a generally accepted piece of fabric is for.
tell me?

cunts.

Gripe

First off I gotta say what a wonderful thing blogs are. We'll they is and they ain't I can see how they are kind of pretty gay too. But being a graduate of International House, one thing that sort of kicks you in the balls a bit is the proportion of your friends that end up either going to their own country to live and work or becoming glamourous expats.
So I appreciate blog's as a way to stay in touch, even better in touch with someone when they are local but don't have a blog or msn profile or anything. So I got harvard and morley's blogs linked up and they both yesterday (3rd Movember) posted some real insights into their psyches.
First up yes I looked at the picture Morley posted and I'm not sorry about that. I think there's a line that passes through all 4 dimensions the approaching/crossing of which is what defines funny and not funny. That line can only be sensed intuitively and mother's lose the ability to sense where that line is the moment they have their first born.
Morley's a real slash and burn guy, of the two takes on a breakup I actually find morley's less disturbing than harvards. (yes you'll have to click on those links and read them I can't link specific posts on morley's website but it's the Movember 3rd one) I mean morley had a shitty job he shat on when he quit once and I found that real funny and other's didn't.
Now, the context of my last dumping happened after I had watched the spectaculalry drawn out post dumping trauma of my brother in which he dated a girl for a year or so and then grieved, bitched, flipped out and wallowed for around a year and a half. Which is fucking crazy, he said the tipping point for him was when he actually realised he had spent more time feeling miserable about his crazy bitch ex than he ever had felt good about her.
But I knew there was only limited window of sympathy you get in situations like that and even though the emotions are powerful fucking chemical imbalances in your brain, I mean you can seriously watch and scoff at some sad guy doing all these loser things and then the moment you are in the same situation you do the exact same loser things and more over you are conscious of doing loser things but you do them out of addictive compulsion anyway.
I mean it's fucking powerful stuff, I hated it, I wouldn't recommend it to anybody. What I would recommend to absolutely anybody, no matter how far down the track or how embarassed you are is councilling, if you are still a student it is free. If you're now employed it's better than free your company will pay for an actual 'on-the-money' psychologist. If you are going the student option remember they have more than one available so if you find your first one to be a total fucking moron, switch.
That's my community service announcement but in all seriousness I couldn't deal with my dumping. I didn't want to be me, I didn't want my ex to have evolved into who she was (which is to say my ex and not my girlfriend) and I didn't want to be here, in melbourne at home.
But you know I gotta honestly say from what I have observed and experienced in the long run I would still rather be dumped than dump someone, and moreover I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
But yeah reading Harvard's post I almost want to scream 'Get the fuck over it, straight up Bob was not your best friend, Bob was some whiney sicophant, weasley christian fundamentalist, pencil dicked, jazzy mother fucker who ruined our battle of the bands entry with his selection of incredibly uncool music, you had and have much better friends than Bob all this time' but you know at the same time I appreciate that when you love someone and they leave you for a cocktard like Bob it's a real fucking dick twisting world of pain. I gotta say muchos respect to Morley in such an early phase of the breakup period is at least meeting Liz's destruction of their relationship with a 'make the pebbles bounce' nuclear attack to clearing of what is left.
I gotta say their are three reactions typical listed from worst to best:

1. wallowing in your own self pity - I was really afraid of this, I even had head-fucked issues with feeling sad, I didn't want to be, I wanted to work and be happy and get the fuck on with my life so I had to be really conscious of going into denial. But the general rule here is you can only play this while sympathy is publicly on your side, people are happy to give you conscssions and listen to you for 2-3 months, your best friends will put up with it for 6 months by 6 months though you are going in circles and not making progress, get a councillour who has seen it 100-1000 times before to just give you the answers and a progressive plan before your friends abandon you too.

2. Getting angry and hilarious - This deals with the issue by destroying whats left, it may be divisive though, I never took the option until way late in the piece when I got tired of being walked over and unappreciated for how cool my reaction had been, like you know fucking Clint Eastwood cool. It depends on how many of your friends are shared, how well liked your ex is. In morley's case he's probably pretty safe, however you always gotta consider your rep for your next partner.

3. Focusing on how great you are/being the better man - public sympathy is a wonderful thing, furthermore just trying to get on with your life, learn, evolve etc also robs your ex of any potential justification they may try to grab at for an excuse for making the right decision. It takes a lot of fucking energy, a lot of help and support though and you may just can't be fucked doing it. I was really a combo of 1 & 3. But you know I (think I) bought Damo and Liam dinner and thanked them for putting up with my shit and stuff.

I'm not saying I'm fucking great and other people who do it differently are losers or anything, I'm a marketer and I think in terms of sheer fucking personal profit. I'll be honest and say some times I envy Morley's huge balls for so publicly and generously doing what he does and certainly I often felt (past tense) as melodramatic as harvard does, infact I totally relate to the Matrix analogy.
And so though I must say I do have a gripe for the ladies, because a big thing for me was that when I got dumped, a month later Harvard did, and my mates Chris, Brenton, Omar, Damo (who really needs a blog motherfucker he never writes never calls and apparantly is living with me again next month) etc that it seemed to me to just be this lifecycle stage and I have a couple of devicive theories on why this may occur.

First up, guys are arseholes, I have limited life experience or booksmarts on why married men have affairs and destroy their families and shit but at this stage it seems to me from observances a girl is far more likely to cheat on their boyfriend in a long term relationship. It's like a Honda product really, if there isn't a random manufacturing flaw in the product in the first two weeks it will probably last you 15 years running perfectly. Similarly if your boyfriend isn't cheating on you in the first month of the relaitionship odds are he wont start for a long time. But growing up I never wanted to be an arsehole, thats why when I was in a relationship and at a bar/party talking to a nice girl I clicked with red flags flew up in my head 'this is how cheaters start' and literally ran away, which doesn't mean I'm right about that being how cheaters start maybe they start by grabbing the girls breasts or arse and skip the whole convo thing. The point is I ws always suspicious that deep down I was a filandering arsehole and was always on guard about doin that. Now let me first say most of the girls I know 'have their shit together' as my father would say, they've had some good relationships and some bad relationships they've learnt and grown as individuals and they are in a good one now, But as I was saying to Miyuki a ways back a lot of romantically minded girls don't have any deep seeded suspicion of themselves because the media, girly mags and everything reinforce the 'men are arseholes' thing that make heroes out of sex and the city cast for acting like irresponsible men anyway a lot of girls I've come across have expectations of 'true-love' eg. the relationship should be impervious to all outside influences and maintaining a deep attraction does not require effort.
Which is wrong on every level, first off that's an impossible standard to put on any relationship because it's going to get hard at some point whether it be in 2 months (okay probably worth breaking up at that point) or three years (needs serious contemplation) or 15 years with children (at least attempt to reconcile) it's not fucking magical yet if a girl in a relationship is at a bar/party talking to an attractive man here's what I suspect they think 'Oh my god, this guys amazing, but how can I feel like this when I'm supposed to be in Love with Brad, why the only conclusion is that I don't love Brad' instead of 'this is how cheating begins' and so from my experience although addoringly innocent in it's naivete this is how nice girls with lots of self respect end up becoming cheating mcslurry's. Which I will now directly contradict with gripe number twix...

Girls have far less capacity to be romantic than boys do. Simply because the same media that makes me feel like 'men suck' before I've done anything wrong also reinforces another sexist agenda. Billy Connelly likened it to buying a house 'Men buy a house they would like to live in. Women don't see that house, they fucking walk through saying knock out that wall and put stairs in here and loft this and paint that' I wasn't dumped last time on this logic but have been before but again Billy Connely applies the same logic 'Men when they marry a woman are like "I love YOU, don't change, don't ever change, just stay the same" but the woman isn't marrying you she's marrying some fucker who you're going to be in ten years time and don't fucking try and fight it it's going to happen' you see as a male, the thought has never ever crossed my mind of incorporating my partner into my financial plans or lifestyle goals suffice to say I have a loving partner who is a big part of my life. I would never ever give a fuck what my wife/lover/owner actually did or how much they earn. But I've come across and experienced first hand a lot of girls who pragmatically dump their partner because they failed to fit the picture they painted for themselves, as a guy you can actually fail to change can you bewieve it? directly contradicting the expectations that true love is a permanent and indestructable feeling like giddiness.
So whilst you are expected to hit all the buttons emotionally this still depends on some market price you've got on my head. The one time I contemplated darwinian homicide was in marketing where a girl said she wouldn't accept a non diamond engagement ring because 'I enviosion myself being succesful and having a rich husband' now it doesn't have to be rich, it may be any number of things you may not achieve, not getting a six pack, not wanting to move to the country, not being able to concieve, not getting published. On a timeframe that is meant to sink in with your partners life cycle.
From a guys perspective and possibly only my perspective it's not fair, I'm actually far more willing to compromise because quite sexistly I would never depend on my partners income, job etc to achieve my dreams. This is why I expect you see the plethora of dumped losers saying 'I can change' it often comes as a cold hard shock that the person you 'loved' had to change.
Two things on that a) cut someone some slack and don't try to live vicariously through your partner, just endeavour to support eachothers dreams and operate as a team and b) so you are excited about your new boyfriend, don't make the first point of business going out and getting a new look, straightening and dying your beautiful mediterranian curls (true story) into some shitehouse Dolly recommends look because the dude is probably attracted to you.

My final psycho analysis on Morley and Harvard that is as unwelcome like the Salt N Pepa song says 'None of yo business' Morley will be fine but any chance of reconciliation may be ten years off, start thinking about the next girl's rationalisation of what dating you says about them though. Harvard by being cool and malaysian is like a gay guy in ballarat, that gay dude can keep hoping for a 'gay scene' to pop up in ballarat but he's much better off jumping ship and moving to brunswick for some Gilpin park action. Namely Harvy, stop bemoaning your lost girl and start hitting the bars and parties where some down to earth girls are because if you are ever going to be pragmatically dumped it'll be by the malay princesses you mix with now.

Some Lingo Explained

Lately some terms have appeared in my vocabulary that give people a reaction that can only be described as confusion and concern.
So the first bit of slang was from catching up with my old buddy Brenton who said: 'Ainslie's as hot as mustard these days' which you know was catchy way of describing people.
Ann at work says I'm so hot when I'm assertive. Too bad I'm a pussy 98% of the time, it's why I put so much effort into crushing peoples esteem.
Anyway I watch this show that never aired in Australia anywhere and was pretty underground in north america and I combined the lingo of that show to Brenton's useful turn of phrase so let me explain so you don't look at me like I'm retarded anymore. (click on the links for instant enlightenment)

entry level: (s)he is as hot as mustard - (this I would apply to Neighbours actors, footballers girlfriends and run of the mill models boy and girl. People who are noticably attractive)

level 2: (s)he is as hot as mayostard - this I would apply to pop divas and the like. Too hot to take their clothes off, and exhibiting in the upper echelons some degree of taste.

level 3: (s)he is as hot as mustardayonaise - this one is pretty much superfluous I mean who needs 4 tiers of attractiveness. but I use this more often than mayostard because it has a nice ring to it.

level 4: (s)he is as hot as Mustmayostarayonnaise - the ultimate we're talking Selma Hayek, Mary Kostakeedus etc. fine women that know what they want from a man and you know the equivalents, the depps the clooney's. I just always mince the pronunciation of this.

Writers Block

Why can't I write my zine like my blog. I even lost the notepad in which I laid out how to write it. So as a procrastination within my procrastination I just spent 10 minutes searching my room for my notebook rather than reading my blog.
So at RYLA I did some thing where the guy tried to push down my arm while I focused on negative or positive thoughts. Which you can't really demonstrate to a class it's a real one on one thing. Anyway my experience warrented me getting the Dalai Lama's little book of wisdom and I can't help but think how many hot(ish) chicks the Big D can get.
Anyway he had some advice that having read you know it agrees with a lot of what I think and what I've discovered. Don't get me wrong, he's quite eloquent (or the translator is) and he can talk about genuine compassion more than I can as his countries been invaded and had his friends gunned down and tortured.
Is it worth reading? yes, I mean if you're one of MY friends you're probably an arsehole let's face it. Or is that even true anymore? I think most of my arsehole friends called me a fag when I started writing this and have never read it again.
So maybe you don't need to.
Anyway some thoughts:

The thing to be most afraid of is being ashamed of who you are.

I mean seriously could there be anything worse. I almost felt like this when I used fruity tactics at bball the other week wearing fish net stockings and the homophobic asians I play with got scared of me. (oh and I was sticking my people up peoples asses too).

long term in a relationship I just seek happiness.

I think that's the key really. I aint never walked into a relationship with a plan or anything but the things I always miss and enjoy are the real friendship elements for me. I've sat down with a lot of girls in various capacities over the past year and talked about all this true love stuff. Charlie sent me some chainmail I had to send to 52,348 people or some shit so my true love would contact me in the next 24. I binned it. I'd hate to meet a true love. Someone where it's boring everything works out and you can't fuck it up because of magical feelings. I'd rather have to work on being happy work our dreams around eachothers and get laid once in a while.

tell people they are looking good.

Everyone's too insecure, you gotta reinforce peoples self image. Do em a favor I say, besides their putting so much effort in. I really gotta stop calling Miho fat.

fall in love often but know when to concentrate.

I've spent too long in love with 5 or 6 people at a time. Like being pulled on in everydirection you just can't move.

Look down on everyone like pittiful children

This is why I never lose it. I'm just too condescending.

Heroes heroes everywhere

You know today I was annoyed briefly by the fact that the website for my internet banking didn't remember my password for me. Then I realised how stupid that would be. And oh yeah good news my blog has spellcheck now or maybe this mozilla fucken shit browser which you may notice doesn't improve my spelling but does succeed in annoying me.
Anyway heroes, national heroes, national treasures like hitler's father/leader = fuhrer combo I think hero and treasuer can be combined into the new rank of Howard. I mean for serious. let's invest australia has a lot of coal. Coal is a dirty fucken source of electricity and as far as quality goes, ours is shit, fucken brown coal. it aint been around the traps long enough to burn well.
But Johnny stands firm to protect the short term economic interests of a majority that is approaching death and irrelevancy at breakneck speed. Australian values is such bullshit. Honestly when you read about Blair actually making some economic sense out of climate change and the environment. Starting to take it seriously and Howard drags the same ball and chain he has since I was in fucken year 8 we have problems.
A big problem is that Australia doesn't seem to get criticised anywhere near as much as we deserve, and if we do it is news to me as the media doesn't seem to ever run the story.
It's all good news and biscuits when Colin Powell thanks our insignificant nation in a press statement carefully prepared so it isn't too obvious that Colin is trying to remember what our country looks like as he says it.
And that's not because he is dumb, but because he is smart. Australia is literally a hole in the ground you can dig shit out of and sell it to china. That's our fucking contribution to the world and we think we need recognition for it. We are a pack of winging farmers with delusions of granduer. And we are stuffing up our own planet then defiantly trying to make things worse rather than claim responsibility. Apparently farmers are shooting themselves with this drought. Steve 'Mr. Nothing' Bracks may actually be in trouble over the water crises. But where's it all coming from, our dogmatic protection of our coal industry.
Well fuck it. It's not sustainable nor is digging big holes anything to be particularly proud of. Our government is acting irresponsibly and if the world was just we would be getting economic sanctions against us instead of acting like our opinion counts in putting sanctions against north korea.
What's that Bush & Blair you need to hear where Australia stands on this?

Happy Movember

A mustache is a very hard thing to hide. I feel it is nothing that needs hiding. A mustache is man's ultimate accessory and all I've wanted for a long time is a sweet sweet mustache just about the sweetest mustache in the world is Ken Watanabi's:
beautiful

But alas I grow some red hairy thing on my upper lip. It sucks but it wont deter me from participating in the event I have been more excited about than Christmas and my birthday combined.

Salt 'n Pepa

Believe it or not when I was like 8 I found the confronting lyrics of Salt n Pepa gratiously distasteful with their mainstream hits like 'Shoop' 'Push it' 'Whatta Man' and 'Let's talk about Sex' now since around that age I had fallen off a slide plying cricket (?) with my dad and dropped the 'f' word, the 's' word and the 'f'n c' words I'm pretty sure I knew what sex was and the attractions between women and men even iffin I didn't know the secrets of santa yet.
Anyhoo I thought it hilarious if I had a little salt n pepa retrospective on my ipod and I gotta say that crew is illmatic, get down to a fucken store and slap down the $3 to buy a copy of their albums. Slapping skins, getting freaky, yelling like a retard, they capture all the beauty of 'the secret garden' I could even believe they are somewhat liberationists. I've read female chauvinist pigs and those girls lay down exactly what it takes to pleasure them.
And if you disagree with me, well you can just step.

for posterity

For some reason I been getting some gold fucking sms' of late that now that my phones memory is full I am hardpressed to delete. Alas I have to or my phone becomes useless, mind you I'm not sure what the radiotion does to my ball juice anyway maybe I should throw it away.
Anyhoo here's some of the contenders:

miki - Oh! the master of cat walk? His way of walking shaking butt is the top of the world. I'm so proud to get this number! Lucky Micky :-D

liam - Hombre, i'll be there at about two thirty. Try not to break the ring with some massive funk before I get there.

stacey - I have (that is to say, eaten rotten fruit from a shitty tree)...mmm, num num

#2 goes to one of my favourites from BCC though...

rowan - Fireman hats you fucking idiot...

the winner though goes to el tigre my number 1 favourite person from BCC:

andrew - Did you sign me up 2 a homo-erotica web site? If my girlfriend calls you, tell her you did it. I beg of you. I will not take the fall for this. I'm too fragile right now. Love pandy xxxx

which I got randomly in the middle of the day one day.

The Sun Also Rises

Sometimes when you go into an op-shop there's just an article of clothing waiting for you. It's the appeal of the op-shop really, its that experience that first 'op-shop find' where you just find something you cant belive somebody threw away. I got a silver belt made in Italy from op shop finds. Three glorious pairs of cut off shorts and a lot of my best underwear is pre-loved.
It's just a connection, and its similar to the pick up scene except the pick up scene is a lot harder. Anyway last saturday in the midst of the party weekend tohm was sitting on the rack for a price described by the purchaser as 'wow! that so cheap' I just rocked up and after being introduced as 'the weirdest guy at Honda' a made a few of my usual racist slurs in response to perfectly reasonable introductory questions and it was off.
The comeback of course was my old manager decided to buy me a drink because he wanted 'to see the loud drunk obnoxious tohm' which after refusing his offer several times ended up with a drink in my hand that I didn't want. So what do you do but offer it to a girl?
I don't want to go into any pacifics here but the girl was a friendly interesting person with one of those billion dollar smiles that is the best thing a guy who people laugh at could hope for. Add a redundant, wasted and loud middleman to the equation and I am forced to ask for her number and then last night we went out on a date.
I had a duke awesome time and by that I mean super fun hapy good times combined with the expense of me wanting to maintain the illusion I'm some kind of bigshot. Sure I didn't have to drink Hennesy from a shnifter and smoke cigars as previously I had never done this but you know, when you're out to impress thems the breaks.
So really from here it's a matter of simply figuring out the cultural differences and hopefully I don't have to have any fingers cut off.
am i just part of an imperialist plot?

Hobo Snobbery

So I caught up with Marc after yet again too long last night. He had such a firm handshake I hadn't realised how limp wristed and pussy like mine had become. Everyone is tan far too early in the summer sequence for my liking but marc looked great.
Yet another of those opportunities to appreciate how different I am from my father. I was telling marc about my parents over reaction to my going to quaker meetings. Dad thought I'd been sucked inot christianity through some cult like manouvre and had lost my mind.
It's incredibly hard to explain non creedal to people in practice. We also talked about the different cultures we'd come across. Marc is living back with the solesian brothers and I don't know much about them except in the old days they used to train up orphans into trades but I got nno idea what they do now but he said his lifestyle had changed from a very independant lifestyle to constant community coupled with diverse ages and diverse cultures. In the mix. On the question of whether he was getting support from his friends he said it was mixed.
And you know in coping with change there's going to be those that can accept change and support it actively but sadly the majority are conservative. And to reenter the priesthood after 20 years is probably not a widely respected move in anyones book. But Marc is truly a great guy, I could only fault his plan on being sorry to lose him from the general community to help out a small community. But still that's part of who he is and I respect that.
I'll support marc. Cept he doesn't need me for much apart from running basketball and occasionally bike riding. But conversation wise and whatever wisdom and experience I have to offer.
Like my incapacity to comprehend the Malaysian equation. More and more I read harvard's blog which claims to be 51% bullshit, 23% crazy, 25% offensive, and maybe 2% truth but I've never found a single child fucking werribee rape tape thing on it that is offensive. I haven't really even seen anything crazy apart from other people's sites he has linked to it. Not to criticize Harvard's lifestyle or anything but if I went to malaysia being pretty cut and dry would they be like 'You are 78% offensive' force me into some tommy hilfiger, boat shoes and put gel in my hair and send me shopping?
I don't want to sound like hitler or anything but Harvard being an exceptional Malaysian and pretty cool guy by comparison I've never been able to figure out why they are even alive.
Which leads me to the conclusion that I have to go there and check it out, chizmolak in the local culture and soak it up, that way I can learn why the distinct need to be as consumerist and hollow as possible, to hang around 'hot chicks' that you can never touch and be a pretty frustrated nerd and spend ridiculous money on everything bar food with which you can pay $2 for a massive pepper steak.
I mean on Top Gear once they said 'We were trying to think of something cool from Ausralia.' and they couldn't so you know it obviously effects more countries but one. I mean what is cool from Malaysia?

The whole fucking bakery

this wins

people in the middle c'mon and wiggle wiggle

Okay so the weekend would have to rate in my top 5 ever. I wake up feeling like my stomach has been scraped out by pre loved hamsters with a taste in my mouth like those hamsters picked a different oriface to enter by in the pre loving no what I mean. Reminds my of a joke that I only heard today two guys drinking in a bar and one says to the other 'I fucked your mamma, I shoved my cock down her throat and my finger up her arse.' and the other says 'okay dad I think you've had enough to drink'
which is kind of why I felt so shit on saturday morning. But I still pulled myself out of bed, did some laundry and headed into earthsharing to have loud 12-15 yo entertain me all day.
Infact I felt so bad I almost piked on Miho's 30th but I'm glad I actually felt guilt for once and turned up. That party was kicking as I watched miho make the same mistakes I had made naively only the night before. Of course I didn't help, I was all moslem and didn't drink a drop. My first taste of beer was at 5am when I randomly ran into yusuke while walking home and went to the joint. My advice, never go to the joint at 5 am the morning after a big race day. That place is pretty much the opposite of class. Yusuke's latest girl hugged me goodbye which was weird since it was the first I talked to her all night.
anyway 3 hours of attempted sleep later I go play basketball with a good turnout for my first birthday basketball classic. I played the worst game of my life and then went to break fast with Omar for the last day of ramadan, he was fucking hungry. The three of us, whacked out as fuck from sleep deprivation had awkward disjointed conversations then I headed home and litterely crashed into bed.
my house stinks like a tobacco convention because liam burnt the shit out of a pot, that was three days ago. But it still smells that way. I feel like the party never ends as a reslut.

adious amigoes until I get a chance to sit down again.

Praise Me Like I should

What a difference a year makes. Last year I would have been hard pressed to think of anyone to invite to my birthday this year I'm a super star. Okay so maybe not a great turn out but you know I had people representing all over, it was great they were even getting along with eachother. I feel really bad about alcohol this morning but really good about all the efforts people went to to make my birthday special. Weather it was mum's birthday feast cooked with out a kitchen (those clowns are always renovating) or Andy's gay music on the car stereo tripping into town or my work colleagues recognition of my problem with basketball.
Thanks everyone who texted me at 2am to wish me a happy birthday the night before I was actually up and aboot partying. I love all you guys.

Episode 6 down

Finally its fucking over, that motherfucking script is finished, posted and fucking done and got a whole day of being 22 to enjoy my freedom. The whole series can visit happyland* for all I fucken care. If it was a person I would dig out it's eyeballs with a spoon and piss in its eyesockets. In fact tha being said I was surprised when I finished it. I just felt nothing at all. It's been such a mammoth project that wouldn't need to be if somebody payed me to write. I could have produced something as long and as "good" as friends if someone paid me. Of course there aren't any Australian sitcoms so lets stop pretending its going to happen.
But its done, my second full series of tv I should live in LA and work in a coffee shop and audition for roles as extras all day.
Seriously episode 6 fuck you. Your done and I didn't feel anything.

3 pages 1 hour

Shit fucks, this is shisticles. I gotta get there, I'm bounding it in. It's like rapist action, dominating up court and down court. from zero to hero. C is the way we begin H is the next letter in I that am the third C is the middle of the word K we fillin in E we near the end C-H-I-C-K-E-N that am the way to spell chicken. I come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow. Valhalla I am coming.

8 pages 2 hours

You can fucking do it tohm. Get your fucking fuck on. The end is in sight. The faster I do this the less time I have to spend doing it. You are a powerful god. The sun blinks when you look at it. Just fucking type motherfucker. Motherfucker. Don't stop, a shit shit yeah and it don't stop, shedding light on the darkness of greed. I am going to finish this if it kills me. ohminous t runs this.