Some Lingo Explained

Lately some terms have appeared in my vocabulary that give people a reaction that can only be described as confusion and concern.
So the first bit of slang was from catching up with my old buddy Brenton who said: 'Ainslie's as hot as mustard these days' which you know was catchy way of describing people.
Ann at work says I'm so hot when I'm assertive. Too bad I'm a pussy 98% of the time, it's why I put so much effort into crushing peoples esteem.
Anyway I watch this show that never aired in Australia anywhere and was pretty underground in north america and I combined the lingo of that show to Brenton's useful turn of phrase so let me explain so you don't look at me like I'm retarded anymore. (click on the links for instant enlightenment)

entry level: (s)he is as hot as mustard - (this I would apply to Neighbours actors, footballers girlfriends and run of the mill models boy and girl. People who are noticably attractive)

level 2: (s)he is as hot as mayostard - this I would apply to pop divas and the like. Too hot to take their clothes off, and exhibiting in the upper echelons some degree of taste.

level 3: (s)he is as hot as mustardayonaise - this one is pretty much superfluous I mean who needs 4 tiers of attractiveness. but I use this more often than mayostard because it has a nice ring to it.

level 4: (s)he is as hot as Mustmayostarayonnaise - the ultimate we're talking Selma Hayek, Mary Kostakeedus etc. fine women that know what they want from a man and you know the equivalents, the depps the clooney's. I just always mince the pronunciation of this.