The Sun Also Rises

Sometimes when you go into an op-shop there's just an article of clothing waiting for you. It's the appeal of the op-shop really, its that experience that first 'op-shop find' where you just find something you cant belive somebody threw away. I got a silver belt made in Italy from op shop finds. Three glorious pairs of cut off shorts and a lot of my best underwear is pre-loved.
It's just a connection, and its similar to the pick up scene except the pick up scene is a lot harder. Anyway last saturday in the midst of the party weekend tohm was sitting on the rack for a price described by the purchaser as 'wow! that so cheap' I just rocked up and after being introduced as 'the weirdest guy at Honda' a made a few of my usual racist slurs in response to perfectly reasonable introductory questions and it was off.
The comeback of course was my old manager decided to buy me a drink because he wanted 'to see the loud drunk obnoxious tohm' which after refusing his offer several times ended up with a drink in my hand that I didn't want. So what do you do but offer it to a girl?
I don't want to go into any pacifics here but the girl was a friendly interesting person with one of those billion dollar smiles that is the best thing a guy who people laugh at could hope for. Add a redundant, wasted and loud middleman to the equation and I am forced to ask for her number and then last night we went out on a date.
I had a duke awesome time and by that I mean super fun hapy good times combined with the expense of me wanting to maintain the illusion I'm some kind of bigshot. Sure I didn't have to drink Hennesy from a shnifter and smoke cigars as previously I had never done this but you know, when you're out to impress thems the breaks.
So really from here it's a matter of simply figuring out the cultural differences and hopefully I don't have to have any fingers cut off.
am i just part of an imperialist plot?