Massive Sudden Destimulation AKA Despair

At long last I return to this blog, like a guy who spent the last 4 weeks wondering if he could do better than his current girlfriend and came back with the firm answer 'no'. Which means for one, nobody will be reading this once again.

Anyway today also marked my return to the Half Marathon for the 2nd year in a row. I dropped 10-15 minutes off of last years time. I blame the fact that I broke my foot 3 weeks ago and decided plain and simple to stop training until thursday, when my entire training consisted of just running a half marathon.

I decided to split the race psychologically into 4 pieces, as a result of said training session and it really worked. See from my parents house to the Yarra boulevard is part one, from there to fed square is part 2, part 3 is back to where I began the yarra trail and then part 4 is the remainder to my house.

I guestimate it works out to a 3-10-7-4 split between parts. For todays race I decided part 1 was 8km, part 2 - 14km mark, part 3 - 18km, and part 4 the finish. so thats a diminishing 8-6-4-3 split psychologically.

Here's the thing about me. I have the cardio and the mental fortitude to run middle distance (yes, anything shy of 20km is actually middle distance or so I am lead to believe) and really running long distance is largely a mental exercise. The fitter you are the less mental resolve you need to keep pushing.

Running 21km with almost no training involves talking to yourself constantly and listening to your body.

Today possibly moreso than any other day in my life, my mind was in overdrive for 2 hours keeping me running. When I sprinted (foolishly) over the finish line I was confused and disoriented.

Then for the first time in my life I experienced something I had only heard about previously which is the feeling of despair in a situation that normally should be joyous and celebratory in nature.

I felt the sudden urge to cry uncontrollably for no reason, except it would seem that I had just finished a half marathon. It stuck with me for ten or so minutes, until I became indignant at a girl who just parked herself at the drink table and had like 8 cups while a million people waited.