Life after Miki

Which is technically the rest of my life, so there's no real reason to do this today. Except something miraculous happened, infact it's me.

You know all those pasty white guys, losers, as they are commonly known... sure they try to call themselves 'otaku' as if it is somehow cool, or some kind of in-joke. They enjoy certain shallow aspects of Japanese culture, the anime, the pornography, some crappy toys and decide that after graduating from arts/science/engineering they want to earn dick all money teaching english in some crappy suburb of Japan so they can nail their students.

Yeah well I don't respect them either. Furthermore I've always been amazed at the ability for so many of these dickwads to get away with their transparent schemes.

But alas, from the first day of my exchange to japan I was pushed the envelope of the 'prisoners dilemma' through some administrative fuck-up, myself and Brenton were to spend the next 2ish months of our lives in a class full of young Japanese girls. The envelope was literal too, two pretty girls turned around in class and wrote their names in english on my book for me to remember, which I do, Ayumi and Megumi.

A prisoner in this dilemma thinks 'I could really clean up!' but I knew it wouldn't come cheap, just as the real prisoners dilemma, not only would I lose the respect of my peers (which lets face it I never valued that much) I would lose respect for myself.

Thus their came the latest addition to my 'rules' for dating. A quick recap:

1. No dancers.
2. No ex girlfriends of Bryce.
3. No Japanese girls.

One might be quick to point out, I have broken all of these rules at some point. No 2 didn't last long, I broke it almost as quickly as I made it and it remains the only opportunity I ever had to break that rule.

But that's all neither here nor there. The point is I broke my own rule to date Misaki, she was exceptional, and as soon as I did so I got ribbed by everyone I came across for having a thing for Asians. I almost feel as though with my white female aquaintences I became persona non grata.

So what? So what I say what's it matter what the world, my own tribe etc think of me. Fuck them the fucking a-holes.

But there is some notion that, like google the tide of asian girls dating white men is some unstoppable inevitable future. Some male facsimile of the 'once you have black you never go back'.

Well here is what makes me so miraculous. I maintain that Miki was exceptional, just like the ex f Bryce's and the dancer with whom I broke my other two rules. The exception that proves the rule. But to say I crossed some line of no return? Bullshit, and I'm determined to prove the haters wrong.

In Lisa Pryor's 'The Pinstripe Prison' there is at some point I can't be bothered finding again a quote of some guy who says 'I think a lot of people feel the need to travel because they are unhappy with who they are'

I think it would be stating the obvious (also an obvious statement) to suggest that a relationship as an escape from ourselves is one highly likely motive to get into one. Furthermore the appeal of foreign partners, or as Safran put it, 'outside the tribe' is going to hold up as a means to escape all the customs and heritage you may hate about yourself.

But I'm going to be brutally honest, white guys in my experience like asian girlfriends for the same reason that they like Mad Men. That is that 'The Female Eunuch' hadn't come out, Wade vs Roe hadn't been ruled on and in both cultures a woman is a mans property, a disposable commodity.

Another facade I desperately maintain was that I dated Miki because she was hilarious. Which she was. But I confess there was a time when I got up to do the dishes after she cooked dinner for me and she said 'you should rest after eating'. It was convenient at the time, and Japanese girls walk around with the poise grace and mindset of a 1960's fembot. Their women's magazines contain hundreds of hairstyling techniques a month and to my knowledge, no articles on achieving orgasm.

Women serve the drinks, see you off when you leave for work and dedicate 2-4 hours a day putting their face on in the morning and taking it off again at night.

Asian women suck, there I said it. I submit in my own defence that whilst on exchange to Japan in Highschool I met my first year girlfriend Chan, as in short for 'Chantelle', a girl that lacked the poise and grace necessary to greet one with an 'oi' instead of 'hello' or something similarly banal.

This is my miracle, that I could look n the mirror and realise, I like the 'oi' I like women who can throw a stone, open a gate in a paddock, snort when they laugh, wear tracksuit pants in the open, drive stick, eat a meat pie with their hands and break a guys nose with their hands.

They don't have to be rough as guts (which I imagine are rubbery smooth?) but just regular roughness. Like a sharp piece of cheese over plastic craft singles. No need for parmesan.

And here in lies my problem, I'm once again entertaining the possibility of dating someone/anyone, as if you look at the previous post I made a conscious decision in february that it wouldn't be right to date someone whilst working in secret on Spank Bank. But now I have no idea how to meet country girls in the city. I realise now that International House as a residence, might excite the aforementioned douchebags that grow up dreaming of an asian girlfriend as a place to meet international students. (except another place to meet international students is called the CBD, and another place is called Church) It was also an excellent place for meeting girls in Melbourne that were not from Melbourne, but exotic places where I come from like Geelong, Ballarat, Bendigo, Shep, Horsham, Sale, Bairnsdale, Orbost, Ararat... my mouth waters at the thought of all those sausage roles and vanilla slices (I didn't intend those a Euphamisms, but must admit it works really well).

So that's the plan, find me a girl with big strong hands, a face full of freckles, a ute and a jumper.