Confession In Two Parts

Usher re-defined the popular saying "I fucked up because you're not important to me" as the succinct yet somewhat blunted "confession" and I must admit, for musical purposes having a chorus that ends with "my confession" is much easier to sing than a chorus ending with "my story of how I fucked up because you're not important to me".

The tragedy though of this achievement was that it became perhaps THE most insidious pop-hit of Chris Rock's "He ain't singing about me!" category.


And here's a sample of specifically what I'm talking about:

Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you
'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with
Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it
The first thing that came to mind was you
Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true
Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did
How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship

I coloured it pink because what a pussy. What a fucked up thought process, the time to think of your 'girlfriend' is before you slap your dick in some other slappers slap-box.
When you find out the slapper is pregnant then it is time to think of your roles and obligations as the father, because your behavior will reveal the lie: you are in that situation because your girlfriend is just plain not as important as instant gratification.

And so what? There's times where the foolish endeavor may be having the relationship in the first place. Particularly if you are a touring artist that just can't provide the foundations of a sustainable relationship.

As such Usher needs to confess to himself, that if his lifestyle came first his job was always more important than the relationship. Then he should confess that he took on a risk (he perhaps miscalculated) of knocking up a girl because he considered the gratification worth the risk.

That said, I need to confess to myself that Usher will still get more ladies than I ever will.

Anyway, It's been ages since I've pushed my own comfort zone for a blog, and maybe it would be cathartic for me to confess some terrible loser things myself...? Okay so easiest place to start is the most concerning, I honestly don't believe I'll meet a girl I'll like as much as Misaki.
Fortunately this belief is much like the 'God lies in the gaps' arguement for religion.
Just because I can't imagine a girl I will like as much as Misaki, doesn't mean they don't exist. In the same way as just because there are some natural phenomena that science can't explain, doesn't mean the explanations don't exist.
It is a threshold of discovery.
The second confession is that I want to be a writer, but I don't want to do the work to get there. Even like the 'day job' because I'm afraid it will distract me from writing. I want stimulation now! I'm actually quite terrible at finishing things so 'the sharehouse' program and to a lesser extent fowp have become my White Whales. I must make something of them, finish them, realize them in some way otherwise the obsession will crush my mind from within.
Lastly, I never feel guilty when I masturbate, it's not harming anyone at all.