Maybe What Happened to me is this...

My main man Amrish reminded me, indirectly by texting me on the weekend while I was in the library, that I do need to socialize once in a while.
It is odd, after returning from travel, from months and months of agonising isolation that I would be socially sated so soon. In a matter of months I barely think of picking up my phone to call anybody. Perfectly capable of going weeks without any changes of faces beyond those that routine throws me in front of.
I will endeavor to socialise.
But I'm curious as to why I don't want to, I only want to because I know its healthy for my mental wellbeing and good for others if i drag myself away from 'work' for a bunch of minutes a week to actually put in some face time with someone else.
I don't want as in "desire" company. I would describe myself right now as alone, rather than lonely.
Maybe it stems from the way I'm living in a garage and my libido has dissappeared entirely. While I had a bedroom in my folks house I would toy with the idea of dating again though really I like to have my own place to take a girl back to and hate being a mouching permanent house guest particularly as I have a tendancy to end up with girls who burn oils and incense, but as soon as I lost a room any traces of desire to get in the dating scene dissappeared. I have through being denied proper accomodation by my own stubborn "mission" neutered myself. I am asexual.
Perhaps this has made me asocial aswell. Is it that I don't subconsciously feel equal to my friends? Even those that are crappy telemarketers or waiters? Am I embarassed?
Where'd all this fucking pride come from? I've always been the dirty bum around clean beautiful people so long as I have lived.
Curioser and curiouser.