It's Hard to be nice, its hip to be sqaure

Mostly, I'm angry at myself. I wake up some mornings and feel comfortable. And this ironically bugs me all day. I'm comfortable.
I left Honda to pursue more risk, I said that in my exit interview. And yet while travelling the risks were aparant, but they were all downside if you no what I mean? They weren't productive risks, or maybe I was too stupid to see how they were productive. I wasn't sure what I was learning, so the risk was really just getting sick, being mugged, being cold, being miserable and I encountered these semi-regularly. It is true that if I hadn't taken the 'risk' of travel and had these things happen to me I wouldn't have enjoyed seeing the world.
I understand now that taking a small risk of spending money and enjoying travel seems to have been a lower risk than saving money and buying a house. Except that I understand now that in the past years that that would have been possible for me, the risk of me making any money out of property where very small and the risk of me losing everything I had earnt thus far and everything I had been given as well.
You see that's my job now, or a large part anyway. I have to look at this over and over again.
In 2006 there were 180,361 vacant Separate houses, semi-detached dwellings, and units or apartments in Melbourne. They have not disappeared if anything the number of empty houses built since then would have grown. And watching the media coverage of the housing affordability and rental crisis is like watching two blind men trying to draw something on an etch-a-sketch.
And climate change, the fact is that all any individual has to do about these things is something. Yet I see people mostly doing nothing. Even when the scientific community is rallied all around climate change, the government spends its energy trying to figure out how to make petrol cheaper by 5c per litre.
So its hard to be nice. When you are disappointed with yourself, and disappointed with humanity, and just feel unempowered.
This is what get's me yelling at the TV.
And of course now I live with my parents, and they give me a lecture about being negative all the time.
ABout how it leads to depression.
I see their point, I know it to be true.
But my problem isn't that I'm criticizing, its that I'm not doing anything about it. But I am doing many ineffective things about it. Like complaining to other unempowered people.
But you see this is the problem, a lot of my problems are perpetuated by individual acts, and a lot of my problems are your problems too.
I'm riding a bike, everywhere. That's something I'm doing right.
But from here and there where I want to be, there's a lot of stuff I need to do that needs to be figured out how to do it first.
I do know from observation though, that its easier for me to be nice when I am quite happy, and that things that make me happy are:

Having my own place. I guess maybe the fact that I have to move into a garage is bugging me more than I care to admit. I guess its fair though, I don't make any money (yet) and can't win the rental war. I kind of resent though that the onus of the shortage of rooms was placed on me, when my brother has been living rent free for a number of years and now just pays a token amount and could quite easily afford to move out, that ticks me off. But a masochistic part of me also says that living in a garage will be a poigniant reminder that I actually need to do stuff if I want my life to be viable.
Someone right now is paying for my accomodation, and it isn't me. 1 dollar 1 vote.

Having a girlfriend. Ironically I care about my own welfare a lot less when someone else is enjoying it. Right now, not many people are enjoying my state of wellbeing. But when I have a girl, there's a productive outlet for a lot of my energy, I spend more of my niceness, get more encouragement to be nice and find its easier to be nice to other people.

Basketball. Another weekend passes without me playing any basketball. I need to be playing basketball again. It really is true of my volunteering, I get a lot more out of it than the people I supposedly help.

On the upside, I really do live the 7 day weekend, and by that I mean, I find I am happier to work any day of the week, because under my current arrangement my personal life is respected, weekends are a lot less precious, so I can work when I am productive. I think my productivity is at the same level as when I was at Honda, except I work half the hours. When I see progress with my own output, I'll feel a lot better too.

FOWP and other projects continue. And my inspiration expands exponentially. I have enough projects to work on, that I'm sure if I didn't have another idea, I could still pursue what I have on my list now till my mid 30's and then retire. That would kill me.