Self-Belief Level Low

Today is a day where writing here is kind of a kick in the face. Coming to terms with the fact that writing with virtually no quality controls, no constraints, no aim and no purpose means that it is the only work I am likely to complete.
You see my self belief isn't steady it wavers, and lately I think about how much time I've been wasting unproductively - that is my time not work time, work takes a lot of figuring out because I'm doing stuff I've never done before but I am confident I will pull it off. I'm just amazed at how much personal time I spend being virtually sedentary not progressing towards what I hope to achieve.

You see I actually whilst sitting in a warm house on comfortable couches with good showers, with food and dinner and shit actually wishing I came back at night with a room with a desk, an old school graphic designers/architect's desk with the slope for drawing on and maybe a computer and a camp cot and possibly something to whip me into action.
I feel ironically that I'd be better off living on mee goreng and fucking crackers and shit than being feed a nutritious diet by my folks.
Something fucking spartan, unfortunately with the rental market at the moment this would probably cost me $155 p/w. I can't afford that just yet.
So whilst I still believe I can do all the stuff I want to do, all the stuff listed in my ideas.doc file recorded over 9 months of travelling. I am losing my belief that I will actually do it.
I need a task master, someone to keep me to deadlines and prevent me from losing another 3 months to 'So You Think You Can Dance'.
So I'm going to take a week off blogging, and try something new. Try producing full time (full time left after work) ready, go.