2 Crashes avoided somehow

Is there something inherently wrong with my brain? I actually have the naive belief/assumption that people are actually jealous of my lifestyle. Not the current specifics of living with my parent unable to afford fancy coloured sneakers.
But that I actually ride my bike everywhere. I actually think when its 11 at night on a friday in St Kilda and I say 'I have to ride home now if I want to get back by 1am' my friends think 'man awesome riding home from the beach on a summer's night, that sounds like something great to do.' which I am guessing (but don't naturally assume) they don't.
So when people talking insurance to me drop the casual bomb "You being a cyclist are taking your life in your own hands" I'm surprised anyone actually would think this way. You see when you get on a bike, you don't think riding is dangerous anymore.

You think people in cars are stupid.

I have seen my fair share of arsehole cyclists being plain stupid, but as a bad driver I can say that daily I am confounded by the stupidity common to people who have a license to drive from the state government.
And as much as I don't need reminders of my own mortality, there is value in posting links to this, just that people understand that A) cyclists legally have a right to be on the road and B) there's nothing dangerous inherent in the design of most bicycles, its in the design of cars that danger lies.

So let me tell you about my day, today I worked largely from home, except I went in to town to hopefully attend a vaguely scheduled brainstorming meeting. As I cruised down Studley Park road I came down to the bottom which is annoying for a cyclist because people tend to park there when I'm sure its illegal.
Then I was on track for my first collision which was stupid.
It was stupid because there was a cyclist in front of me, and only about 10m ahead. And he passed a jaywalking pedestrian clearing him by only 30cm or so.
So this pedestrian if he was like me would have gone, 'woh! cyclist forgot about those' which to all extents and purposes he did because he stupidly turned and looked right at me.
I actually love jaywalking, from my travels my quick rule of thumb was - good country jaywalks, bad country doesn't. In China they infact have the opposite of jaywalking, cars jaywalk and pedestrians have to look out.
But I like jaywalkers generally because so long as they aren't a 12 yo smoker from a low socio-economic background they usually work around the traffic instead of trying to have a direct confrontation with them.
This guy looked right at me and stepped right into my path like it was no big deal. A slight shift of my weight cleared him by 2cm or so and it was over just like that. There was a car behind me in the next lane across, so it wasn't like he needed that extra step to create a window of opportunity for himself. He had to wait anyway, it was just plain stupid.
I kind of wish that I had just plowed right into him. I love my bike though, and even though I'm sure the transfer of momentum would have done more for his skeletal structure than mine or my bike, at the end of the day I'm kind of a nice guy who doesn't crash vehicles into another to teach them a lesson.
This crash was stupid in a darwinian sense.

The second crash was stupid in the 'That guy is a fucken moron sense' I was heading back down Johnson st, and had a green light through the pedestrian crossing adjacent to pug mahones, a white mini-van decided to pull out and cross perpendicular to me.
Fortunately I have been riding long enough to be alerted first by knowing that he didn't make eye contact with me and second I could calculate that if I didn't speed up but instead slowed down he would run right over me.
So I sprinted forward and turned around, he was most of the way across the street before he decided to stop stupidly gazing in the opposite direction of oncoming traffic and work his way around to ahead of him (where he was driving) it was here that he noticed not a meter from his face me glaring at him as I swooped past. His facial expression told me he was thinking 'gee I'm an idiot' which is satisfactory but nevertheless I had the adrenalin in my system for about an hour afterwards. It makes you quite restless and distractable, so much so I didn't notice my ipod was stuck on repeat of one song for the further 40minutes of my commute.

The only thing to cap it all off was that while I was jacked up with adrenalin my mother spotted me and honked her car horn at me. A car horn is never welcome or friendly to the ears of a cyclist so while my mother's intentions were good, being honked at from behind only meant she was met with expletives until I noticed her waving into her rear view mirror at me, at which point I added her name to my expletives.

The point is, don't let me discourage you, bike riding is great and days like this are truly rare, I find them amusing whilst also providing a good reason to get angry from time to time it's even better than being angry at inflation.
And besides if you sell your car and get a bike, thats one less car that can potentially almost hit me.