Charity Muggers A Perplexing Decision

If you work, study or walk the streets of the Melbourne CBD you know who I'm talking about. My friend says they even populate the streets of Jakarta, which means the must almost outnumber peruvian pan-pipe bands.

I speak of the Charity Fund Raisers, typically a backpacker trying the job for a day that approaches you in a friendly bubbly manner sometimes even crossing the street to intercept you and makes an innocuous comment about some 'interesting' feature of you 'I like your hair'.

Chances are you've had all the thoughts I've had but I thought I'd put them down here for posterity. Can't you just envision the paid training day 'Look for some characteristic you can comment on, like their hair, then introduce yourself and ask for their name. The funner and bubblier you are the more fun they will have speaking to you!' and so on.

Thought #1: I give more money to homeless people.

Chances are you were stopped 3-5 years ago by an Amnesty person and you actually listened to them because you like Amnesty and are all for freeing and supporting political prisoners. Then they asked you - somebody who fare-dodges even with student concession (which you got for movies) to tithe $30 a month from your non-existent wages.
But it didn't stop you from forking $10 in change a month over to charismatic (or not) homeless people.
You still give the change (occasionally) to homeless people when you are in a generous mood but don't stop ever to talk to a charity worker about donating $30 a month.
Why the fuck don't they get a bi-polar alcoholic to train them: 'Just ask for 80c a dollar no more, you know... spare change. No need to be friendly, just act pitiful and non-threatening. If the snub you move onto the next person you will still make $30 an hour on a good day...'

Thought #2: what happened to the buckets?

It used to be that occasionally some mutely smiling young woman would have a shirt with a red ribbon pinned to it and a bucket labelled 'Aids/HIV find a cure' and you just threw whatever change you could spare into said bucket and move on with your day.
On a busy street corner these must have made like $100 a day. Who gives a fuck about ongoing support and spamming and tithed wages when you just need to send somebody out to hold a labelled bucket. No emotional scars, no annoyance and a big time saving.
I can only see it maybe being an OH&S thing because the bucket may get TOO HEAVY FROM ALL THE DONATIONS. As opposed to the current vogue system which ensures nobody donates any money at all.

Thought #3: The people who can afford the scheme don't have the time.

They are business people, they get a 30 minute lunch break a day, you want half of that.

Thought #4: Everybody loses.

The conversation is never fun, it is awkward and annoying. I don't want to hurt some poor backpackers feelings, but they push me into a corner where I have to extract myself. We both walk away feeling ill-treated.
Furthermore, I used to like Amnesty, Lost Dogs Home, Cancer Council, Red Cross. I bore good will towards them, its why I liked to throw coins in their bucket. Now they seem to have set out to annoy me every hour of every day of my life. I hate these charities now.
Who wins? They can't possibly make a lot of money this way, plus even if somebody DOES signup they aren't exempt from being harassed by the new faces every day. There is no winning.

Thought #5: I Do Concede...

For all the good will and respect these causes have, many people wouldn't actually do jack unless urged to. I wouldn't spontaneously decide to tithe wages to Greenpeace or Amnesty one day unless somebody hassled me, asked me etc. There just seems to be about 100 better ways to do it than this. The bucket for one. The school programs for another (my high school had an Amnesty International club that got new faces involved every year).

I mean, fuck. It's annoying.