Implied Insult

I was struck recently by the profoundly simple revelation with wide reaching implications including the implied insult to you that is the title of this post.

The simple revelation is 'If I knew how to win, I would be doing that' as an axiom of my universe. Alternatively it possibly suffices to say 'If I knew how to be a winner, I would be.' I'm not sure if they are equivalent statements.

What implies an insult is precedent, that is, surely the easiest way to be a winner is to find a winner and imitate them, right?

if you follow the link to the search results, you would discover what I now comprehend. It seems extremely difficult to be a winner.

People all have their own vague scheme of 'how to be/what a winner is' common answers are to be a doctor or lawyer. Well I came across these answers way back in the day and my response hasn't changed.

The nearest 'winner' lawyer that comes to mind is probably Atticus Finch, who never really existed, and then maybe Abe Lincoln whom wasn't a winner for being a lawyer and only became a winner after losing half the Union.

Doctors well there's Fred Hollows maybe. But I cant think of any truly great doctors I would call winners. Lets just say that being a winner isn't as simple as becoming a doctor or lawyer. Infact the risk vs return ratio, the upfront investment required simply to get amongst the pool of doctors or lawyers wasn't worth it to me then and isn't to me now, particularly since more work is required to actually be a winner.

Then there's the wholesome everyday sense, like 'owning your own home' or 'getting married' well in the first instance if being a winner was as simple as getting a mortgage then simply being alive is the most uninspiring thing in possibly all of existence.

As for marriage, I have a friend who got dumped by his girlfriend after 14 years, thanks to de facto laws his property got split and everything so it was just like a divorce. Another friend got divorced after what must be 2-3 years of marriage. All up that was probably an 8 year relationship.

Is one a winner because he got married, even though the relationship was shorter lived than one in which a couple didn't?

Furthermore, take a couple, say for arguments sake an old couple that simply stayed together because they didn't want to get divorced. And that's more or less the only reason they stay together. They think 'till death do us part' have some actual currency in the real world. Surely they are the biggest losers imaginable.

So clearly if some couples can be winners that are married, whilst other couples can be losers that are married, others yet can be winners while never getting married, and yet more others can be winners for getting divorced, then there isn't a hard fast rule related to marriage that makes one a winner.

As a friend of mine said 'I hate women who act like getting married is some kind of achievement' and I fully concur (men as well I presume).

Then being famous, can one be famous and a winner? can one be famous and a loser? Lets just throw some names out: Rene Rivkin, John McCain, Richard Wilkins, Fifi Box, Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, Britney Spears, Angelina Jolie...

Sure there's clear cut examples of people that have managed to live their own personal dream, and I have a feeling being a winner is about being self-referential, secure in ones insecurity. People I admire like Les Claypool, Mike Patton, Ricky Gervais...

But then that's not hard-fast knowledge, for one thing what many of these people achieved has now been achieved. Imitation does not suffice. Furthermore the kind of things most winners I suspect are winners do, are in industries and environments that are plagued by silent witnesses - people who did the exact same thing that we've never heard of because they never succeeded. Are those silent witnesses winners or losers?

I don't know. It's not easy. It's really difficult.

I plan though in the meantime to simply become an expert in failure, as hopefully I may someday be able to recognise 'not-failure' and perhaps even equate it with winning.

In the meantime accepting that you in all probability are some kind of loser can be quite liberating, most people are, there's nothing wrong with it, and hey the pressures off. You don't have to spend every waking moment of every day trying to disguise the fact that you don't feel you are actually a winner.

Just once be like 'I just bought a house, big mortgage, not sure if it was actually a good idea.' or 'Man Law is boring I wish I was working in fast food, they must have some interesting stories.'