Sliding Doohrs

Doing all this artwork has been great. Easily the best experience of my life in the last 5 years maybe. I know that's a big call, In that time I've been round the world, had sex with at least 2 beautiful women, jerked off a lot and some of those occasions were truly magical, I've graduated from uni (a thoroughly dismal experience), worked with some brilliant and wonderful people, been to some weddings and seen Kobe Bryant win his first MVP trophy.

To say that drawing my own comic tops that list now that I've actually looked at that list seems a pretty big call. The relationships at least should outshine it, but I'm going to disqualify them under a new definition that forbids shared experiences.

Yes drawing has shat all over seeing the world, and even noble masturbation. But this in turn has shone a light on me that has given me deeper insight into just why my life has perhaps turned out like it has.

You see unlike most people I have a control subject. A person who was much like me. We even have the same psyche profile under the DiSC system or the other one, we are both Amiables in our leadership/management styles. Except I'd guess that people would actually pick my control in his where they always throw me either in the expressive or analytical pile where I tend to hang out.

Anyway, this guy I think is suffieciently similar to me to be illustrative in a rare comparison, but like all comparisons, I don't actually know what motivates him generally so, this isn't about making value judgements.

I just think in most things we are of similar ability, give or take, I was better at mid-to-long distance running and also perhaps debating and public speaking and all over I am hairier, he was smarter than me generally, better at cricket, golf and any of the 'coordination' sports and also taller.

So close enough on the rule of thumb. Anyway in year 10 I think 90% of our classes were the same. We spent a lot of time together, doing the same things. We both did the advanced streams of maths and english, both did art and both did japanese so this meant our timetables practically had to be the same.

In year 11 though, it came time to pick some of those 3/4 subjects that complicates things. Now Control I think had a real talent for art, a way of capturing abstract forms, judged largely upon his offerings in our filth contests. The picture of me drawn in paint sucking a cock I still think would sell for a lot of money.
He drew smooth lines and did excellent charicatures. My signature too, to this day is actually my poor attempt to copy one he designed for me. His was elegant and smooth and got me excited about my real name, I draw it like a retarded seven and was so jagged a guy in the Rome Hostel I stayed at said it was 'neurological' indicating there was something wrong with me.

But here's the sheer fact of the matter, art is not a very reasonable subject choice. It's easy to pass sure, but extremely, EXTREMELY hard to do well in. Its labor intensive, it takes up most of your holidays and can be expensive. It's not much return for a lot of investment. And even the return you do get (say you get B's for your Folio and on the written exam resulting in a study score of 35ish) they scale it back to a pass.
Further maths on the other hand, is dull, repetitive and pretty elementary. It is a subject invented for students who struggle a lot with mathematics to preserve the pretense that mathematics is crucial to living your life (maths may well be the single most important science/philosophy, but you can actually live really good lives without it), as such it is not meant to be done by kids that are pretty smart. For not much effort you can get a 49 or 50 score for answering some elementary questions and a score up that end of the spectrum doesn't get scaled back.

If you want to ensure you get a good study score stick with further maths. If you are clever you won't even have to put any substantial time into doing it. Just sit through the classes and the exam.

And now I think this might have been the defining choice that sent Control and I down different paths in life.

You see, I decided, against almost everyones wishes, that I really wanted to do Studio Art 3/4. I loved the teacher, the teacher loved me and doing that in year 11 would make muchos sense because I could dedicate my time to it seriously without worrying about competing 3/4 subjects.
1/2 subjects are pass/fail affairs.

Control being smarter than me generally, took the wise course of action and did further maths. Now it's not like its a literal dilemma between those two. I perhaps could have done both, he could have done both whatever. It just didn't pan out that way, I did Studio Art 3/4 and he did Further Math 3/4.

Studio Art was hard. The time I wasted (cementing valuable friendships with class mates and teachers) came back to bite me on the arse. Time not spent on my folio resulted in lost grades or lost sleep.

When I finally finished my Tryptych all I wanted to do was destroy it. I think I got a Study Score of 35 or 36 in the end which was scaled back to 25 I think.

But fuck it, I did what I wanted to do. I had no interest in further maths. I was later discouraged from doing Specialist maths because I'd be the only one who hadn't done Further maths in Year 11. To which I said fuck it and did Specialist anyway. I love maths, but Further maths seemed like voluntary boredom camp so I refused to do it.

Control got a study score in the 40's in the end.

Here's how the rest of the story pans out. We both applied for the same degree and the same Melbourne Uni College. I imagine I botched my interview with said college anyway because I actually headed my mothers advice about trying hard to appear to be an extravert, instead of just being myself.

Anyway, that didn't matter because I got a lower ENTER score than Control and ended up not going to Melbourne Uni, and thus not going to the college that Control cruised into along with the course we both applied to.

I got second preference College (after a tense two weeks of arguments with my mother) and into my second preference University Course at RMIT.

And after that Control and I had different lives so it's no longer really a control group anymore for my life. The only decision for comparison is what subject we chose to do in Year 11. And to both our credit, we made our own decisions then, I doubt either one of us weighed in on what the other was doing when making our choices.

But my life as it turns out, is one I feel where the need to create, to draw, design and express is far more important than anything else, and that I take it really seriously am able to accept criticism as well as critique myself and furthermore see potential in my own dud ideas I probably owe all to doing Studio Art.

So yes, it like every other decision I ever made has ended up defining me. Art is still really important to me, and it isn't the first time really I've put it ahead of considerations like careers, opportunities and money.

What I can say is, if there is something you've always wanted to do, do it. You won't regret it. Or "As the butthole surfer's say "It's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do"" - Red Hot Chilli Peppers (quoting Butthole Surfers).