A Post for Sing-a-pore

I went a-travelling this year and went so far and wide that often I forget that it mostly took place within this Calendar Year of 2008.

I've been everywhere man, and finally I can reassure you that the world has truly globalised, come together and unified in the common pursuit.

First stop was Beijing China, one half year early for the Olympics this didn't stop CCTV from having 24 hour coverage, and I was informed by all that the motto of the Beijing Olympics was 'One World, One Dream'

My mind boggled, wondering how this could possible be true. But soon after I was a little more travel worn and seen the rest of the world, I know that the universal purpose of life right now is the pursuit... of...

Of Sneakers, man I really HAVE to get these sneakers lah!
Nike Airforce Anaconda's

They are made of Anaconda skin, and all WHITE! Yes White! That's so creative, of course, buying such Sneakers that are no doubt expensive must come with a price that isn't just my disposable income...

No it's a psychological burden too, yes they will plug that hole in my soul that makes me feel unfulfilled now. But then once I have them, what then?

Do I wear them? Do I shelve them, as a sneaker head would preserving their resale value? I mean it's a real sensible investment. Particularly in these uncertain times.

In these uncertain times, we must all PANIC at the impending collapse of the financial system around the world. As we discover what has always been true, the banks don't have our money!

What if we lose our money? Then I definitely won't be able to buy these:
the most expensive chocolates in the world

And my new sweetheart won't forgive me if I don't give her what she really wants this summer, a pair of shades big enough to display her affluence:
conspicuous consumption

Which reminds me, I was going to get myself a new bike. I'm thinking of getting one of these fixed gears I've been hearing about. What are they?
Practicality made art, what's your carbon fun print?

You see the truly great thing about the exciting range of products is that simultaneously I can fulfill my desire to express myself as an individual, but am free from being judged by my peers.
By buying pre-customised accessories, I can finally be free to be the individual I am told to be.

Of course, maybe my honey will be less excited about my new totally chic "counter culture" ride, and need me to step up to something more practical for escorting her around town:
is that that ghost whisperer

Finally a mode of transportation that demands respect. Sure people may not respect me, but they can respect my ride, and they can respect my clothes.



I mean this way I have the best of both worlds, Armani, Zegna, Hugo Boss, Yves Saint Lauren, Hilfiger etc. These are suits that let girls know I'm all grown up.

On the other hand, I have my fixed gear for touting around in my Zoo York t-shirt, Sneakers by Le Coq Sportif, Nike (So long as they aren't those awful practical ones), Onitsuke Tiger, K-Swiss, Vans, Royal Elastic, Puma, Adidas (again so long as they aren't practical, maybe them colour in ones) and custom shirts from T-bar, all to let the good people know, along with my forearm tattoos that I'm still young.

I mean ever since I noticed my receding hairline my need to prove myself a young and vital man by buying overpriced co-opted youth culture brands has grown in step.
Alas finally I may have found a way out, the hair ego booster:
enjoy the confidence

I'm told this is something called chindogu, a Japanese art form of designing things that won't work or nobody would ever use.

I guess it's kind of like that rejuvination method I tried where I bath in baby blood.


I mean what pissed me off about that dead end, was that the same friends that had been picking on my 'baldness' making me all insecure in the first place then told me I was 'crazy' a 'lunatic' and a 'psychopath' to believe this would actually work.
To them I just say:

"Have you ever tried putting blood back into a baby?"

And to be fair my pores do feel slightly more elastic.

But you know, aren't we all just a little bit crazy? In these uncertain times? I mean I have a humvee which may come in handy with the coming collapse of the financial system (the irony being I purchased it on finance) but with the generous drops in the interest rate I can also squeeze these little babies onto my credit card:



When the apocalypse comes, I'll know I can step out in style as I hack my neighbours to death with a machete to steal their supply of Evian bottled water.

I mean really, it's all Chindogu. It all has been for 16 YEARS, and then there was only a brief respite corresponding with Grunge going back into the 80's when the events of American Psycho were set.

I mean, sure I made my new girlfriend up, I may as well. I can barely tell girls apart these days apart from what they are wearing, and they keep changing those.

It's all useless shite, and particularly young people have been caught up, working harder and harder to afford it all.

And what strikes me as most crazy is that it seems to be more a symptom of 'We buy because we have money'

ie. young people earn more money than they have things to spend it on.

And yet we work harder longer in order to have more money. Hence the consumer has put pressure on companies to come up with creative ways to charge us more for stuff.

You only get rich once, after that, there's no need for more. And it's my position that this probably happens for most people sooner rather than later.

Whether you are the Japanese businessman of the 80's getting 10,000 year old glaciel ice in your whiskey at $1000US a pop in downtown ginza, or the wall street analyst buying $1,600 chocalate with flakes of gold in it. It's all pointless.

The debt is triple the world GNP when earnings probably only ever needed to be 30% of world GNP to support actual real lifestyles.

I'm sick of fucking consumerism and looking forward to people losing a lot of money. I feel for the poor people getting hit hard though, who never got to enjoy consumerism beyond an impractical plasma screen tv.