Malaise

A Couple of months ago, Claire chastised me for not making an effort to see my parents whilst they were over in Europe. Now it isn't like riding a bike back over the Alps is the same sense of 'makng an effort' as say calling your parents once a week when you live on oposite sides of Melbourne. I wasn't oer the Alps though but instead trapped in Italy waiting for a replacement Visa Card, a real pain in the arse, but as it turned out I couldn't really move the 100km by train either because I was living off 5 euro a day.
But there was another reason that I didn't want to see my parents either, and that was that even before reaching Italy I was feeling the strain of travel, and for reasons I still don't comprehend I decided I had to ride around Europe and make it all 10 times harder again. The payoff was there but it did make the travelling thing into an ordeal that has resulted in dramatic weight loss and extreme mental fatigue.
I knew though if that I capitulated to seeing them, having good accomodation and food for a couple of days, it would jut make carrying on that much harder again, and at that stage I had barely even started on my modest bike ride.
But just over a week ago I arrived in Valencia, Spain and saw my sister for the first time in 7ish months and had a wonderful week watching movies and tv shows, eating food cooked in a kitchen not in a kebab stand and not having to constantly think about and concieve contingency plans as you do when travelling by bike.
And since then I haven't been able to give a shit about travelling at all.
Jesus could run down a street on fire and I would not really care if I missed it.
I have reached saturation point and I feel myself simply dragging my feet through obligatory travel and 'seeing the world' but can't muster much excitement.
I miss having a life too much. I miss sleeping in the same place for months at a time, I miss english bookstores, chinatown, I miss Takoyaki, checking out Japanese women on the trains, watching the Biggest Loser, watching Okamura get beat up on Japanese television. I miss combinis, I miss 7-elevens.
I miss getting on a bike and carrying less than 1 kilo on my back instead of 20kgs all up and having to peddle over small mountain ranges. I miss Japanese Libraries with their excellent magazine collections and incomprehensible study area rules.
I miss Japan and Australia equally because their I had a life, I don't like self-indulgent travel, I think the only way you could enjoy it at length is if you really hate your life normally. But I enjoyed working ten times more than this.
I would never contemplate suicide if someone told me I had to work for ten more years, but if someone said I had to travel ten more years I would throw myself out the nearest window.
In short I am well and fucking truly sick of travelling, like heroine things have to be much bigger and really different for me to enjoy them now, everything else just doesn't give me the same hit.
Oh well hopefully I will be seeing a few of you in a matter of weeks now.