'Taint nuthin

I have lots of exciting ideas that I won't bother patenting but instead offer them to the creative commons to be picked up and distributed with the freedom and enthusiams they deserve.
The first I had the other day was for a 3mm edged perspex pyramid that you insert in your shoe to cause discomfort. This I thought could have a target market of beginner masochists and was inspired by pondering why I didn't bother to remove a pebble from my shoe for 4 hours in Padua despite having sat down numerous times in the interim and presenting myself with convenient opportunities to do so.
The next was while riding this morning, I drank some mineral water in a bottle slightly too large for Rosante's bottle holder but with feirce determined stubborness I had forced in there, and I remembered back to when Janice would drag me and my siblings to Dandenong springs to drink all the natural mineral water springs there and remembering that they didn't taste that good.
But what bottled water market hadn't been tapped yet? hmm.. bad tasting I thought looking at the label of my bottle and noticed it was called 'Brie Bluono' or something and I thought 'That's It!' Brine! I could sell bottled seawater, people love the beach. As I type this my energized mind is even thinking I could design a nozzle so that as you attempt to drink 'Brine' it also gets injected directly up your nose, just like being creamed in rough surf.
But I think the most viable of my ideas isn't so much a saleable product but a new standard for selling existing ones.
Now someone has already attempted to explain this before but I'm talking a simple convention.

Taintage.

A mileage rating for your taint, see if you ride a bike long, you take a pounding in the taint. What is the taint? you ask...maybe this video will help bring you up to speed:

Now that you are up to speed, what I suggest is that in standard factory testing of any new bike seats produced are sent to very well paid professionals that ride them and determine the number of kilometers it gets before their taint starts saying to them 'okay just sit on a pinecone already and be done with it, I don't want to live anymore'.
For example Rosante's seat gets about 56km taintage with padded bike shorts.