Fallin

It is unlikely that anything will eventuate. But those, are the odds I like. Subsequently though, let me have this. It's something my close friend and confidant Shona understands about me - simply crushing on somebody is a big deal for me.

And I watched the movie of "Choke" (don't) but even in lack-lustre movies shit can speak to you. And it was just a line poorly delivered, but it stands as a testament to Jesus' awesome radness, "Jesus believed that we are transformed, simply by the act of loving another."

Now that is reason for a Christ loving family to lock their hands in eternally suspended high-5's and sing out 'JESUS! JEEEE-SUZ!!' around some awesome spread of turkey or chicken and that thing where you put peas in a big old bowl.

I enjoy the revelation, which for clarities sake I am no longer talking about Christ, but the revelation that I like a body.

I enjoy it. Dan Gilbert's 'Stumbling on Happiness' talks about anticipatory pleasure, and that's a lot. Perhaps to my detriment I have retained a childlike proficiency at self-hypnosis, and thus I can kind of actually just go into myself and live my fantasies.

But it does have a transformative effect. Bio-psycho-socially, I am transformed for the better. Food tastes better, music sounds better, the music I listen to, the books I read, the movies I watch. It's not so much a change as a decision, a decision to embrace fully what it is I like. A decision as to what is suddenly filled with meaning and thus has unlocked potential. Even all my other relationships change in nature.

Who I can and can't talk about it with. Who I want to and don't want to talk about it with. Who I can share the joy with, and who exacerbates the frustration.

But on the whole, it's just a big big deal for me. And I love it. I actually love it when the dream changes and the future becomes imbued with new possibilities.

Just appreciate what pleasures life can give you.

I love you all.