Ichijoji

I've been putting this off for too long, seems I only use this blog these days to mark my progress to becoming a human being I'm satisfied with.

So on Tuesday the 21st of February my first ever exhibition opened, it was always to be my 'toehold' into the art world but it kind of blew up so much I don't know whether to raise myself one notch or six. It will be hard to top.

I guess I'm most proud of how I did it, It was hard work sure, but it wasn't painful, it involved no sacrifice. It nourished me. I think that is precisely what your art needs to do at its best.

Like I ended up having to drop some work shifts to get it organised in the end, I didn't need the duel stress (nor the money) but I made every single one of my social obligations in the 6 week run up to the exhibit. There was no withdrawing into a cocoon and dropping off the radar while I scratched away going insane in my isolation.

I also managed to post daily webcomics for robot girlfriend on facebook for 31 days (excluding weekends). All while drawing my 70 pieces with the finest materials I could afford and to the best of my ability.

That's what I'm most proud of.

Exhibiting itself, I had the kind of panic when it opened that I've never had before. I couldn't describe it as nerves or jitters or anxiety. My mind just kind of shut down, so I simply had no idea what was going on.

But after two days it sank in. A lot of people actually came and saw my work. I sold a lot of pictures and I still can't comprehend that I could make money from stuff I just made up. It is amazing and magical too me.

Lastly, there is a lot of myself on display up on that wall, like who I am on the inside. Maybe that's why my brain shut down, having almost everyone I know walk past declarations of what a brute, ruthless animal I am deep down.

the thing is, that I started this blog after being introduced to the Johari window and to set about with great purpose to expand the arena of what I know about myself and what others also know about me as wide as possible.

And Ichijoji was another confirmation of my suspision that the things we think we hide so well, everybody kind of always assumed.

I might be one of the few people in the world who's psychologist bought a picture by a patient of a man killing another man. Go figure.

All I know was this exhibition was the best thing I've done so far.