There goes my hero...

The calibre of people that believe in me sort of obliges me to become something. Anything less would be to injure them, and they are amazing people that unprompted seemed to come forward all at once and tell me that they believed in me.

Having said that I went to check if Takehiko had given up on Vagabond which hasn't gotten past it's 300th issue. So I went to his website to see if he had announced any definitive break on the project and found his journal of working on a commission to draw a large folding screen portrait of a famous monk for a famous temple.

have to finish by tomorrow morning.
But it's already later then expected.

There was no more time to wait. Upon viewing my painting and realizing my
own shortcomings, I was extremely angry.

That's ego. My ego is not confident and is lashing out. I can do
something better. I have no time. I don't have enough experience. Leave
me alone when I'm drawing. I really can draw better. (I don't think)
that's the right image. It's somebody's fault. It's something's fault.

...

My lack of confidence is running wild. The design is messed up. I can
see all sorts of things wrong with it. My pride is telling me that my
skill will be questioned. Won't they laugh at me? Won't it embarass me?

That's ok. This wasn't to be called skilled. People can say what they
want. I don't know the rules. I drew with my own rules. Revealing the
person behind it is all that was done. Is that the type of person he is?
But that's ok. But if I do have my own true essence, deep inside, it
will be connected to other people.

There's only a little bit left. I'm excited. There's nothing like it.
Only I can complete this painting. I can make it even better. Only I can
do it.

I call for help from my pride. There's not much time. My ego is where I
get the power to make it through times like these.

I don't need a beuatiful painting. But one that will reach people's
hearts.

I'm going to work on the painting. The answer has appeared from within
the drawing. It doesn't matter even if it doesn't look too skilled. It's
a start.

If I worked twice as hard as Takehiko Inoue and wound up half as good I would not consider my life wasted. It's such a relief to know that an artist like him goes through the exact same emotions as I do when drawing a piece.

Thus like he, and the amazing people that believe in me, I have to start believing in myself.