The Thing Is This...

This sentiment was contained in yesterdays post, but I thought I'd scoop it out of the water with my dirty hands and give it attention now.

I'm happy.

That's the kicker. These days I really only have two moods: happy and competitively aggressive. The others are still there but they are a very thin slice of the pie. I'm not even that angry cycling anymore.

I did in an abstract way enjoy my old lifestyle of working all day, looking forward to lunch and yelling at the contestants on the biggest loser, but since basically '06-'07 I've gone from not liking myself to quite liking myself. Being an angry, sad man to being a pretty happy dude.

How? Abe Lincoln has the secret I think: "I have found that most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." and that's more or less what I've done, I've decided to be happy.

There's some other things I've done too, like made a concerted effort not to be a fucking cunt.

I sought feedback, I tried to build up self esteem... blah blah blah it's really not much. Not much at all.

But all those articles you read about how happiness has nothing to do with money or possessions. Those articles we read backed up by empirical studies and what not, that are all true but we routinely ignore. They are all true. I'm living those articles. It is hard to apologise for my existence right now, as Yogi Berra said: "If you don't know where you're going, you might not get there." is a definite risk to my current happy lifestyle but fuck it, when I come to a fork in the road, I'll take it. That's my plan.

I can always become a billionaire astronaut cowboy later.