End of Season Shorts Sale: 30 Pieces of Silver

I caught up with my friend Stacey on the weekend and felt betrayed when he identified himself as one of the conspiracy to bring shorts back up above the knee. For somebody I know and trusted to be a wanton participant in the emasculation of mankind is sometimes a source of grief too heavy to bare.

But, whilst I have nothing against knees per se, my refutation was sufficiently amusing and on the fly that I thought I might share it with you as I shared it with Judas:

There comes a time in a boys life where he transitions to man. This process is marked by not having your mother buy clothes for you. As we all know, mothers make a young boy try on jumper after jumper, pant after pant until she identifies one that is a 'proper fit'. She never seems to acknowledge that a boy is just a man waiting to happen, and that 'M' is not the real size of things to come, 'XXXL' is.
So the glorious day when a ex-boy come-man turns up on casual day wearing oversized clothing is one where all may acknowledge that this man buys his own clothes.
Of course somewhere betwixt 13-20 we stop growing, but this does not mean we men should start buying 'proper fitting' clothes. No the illusion can never be reversed. Real men always know they can be more, bigger, better than they are already and their clothes should both reveal and conceal their true power.
This is why even a grown man's sleeves should come down to the middle of his palms and soak up the pink viscous soap in public washrooms, why men should strut just in order to keep their pants from falling down, and why it should be feasable to tuck your shorts into your socks even when your socks come up to your ankles.
For to do otherwise is to broadcast that life is too hard, you cannot face its challenges and you have been measured and weighed and found wanting. You have retreated back to your mothers skirtstrings and cry yourself to sleep on your lavender scented pillows.