3 mm of traction action destroys my satisfaction

No this has nothing to do with shaved vaginas. No today as my rear wheel is being trued having popped a spoke, and regrettably I didn't ask them to ditch the humiliating pie plate while they were at it...

Where was I? I was walking into town today, and Melbourne was being blasted like it was on the shores of lake wendoree. I have totally pussed out (okay maybe it does have something to do with shaved vaginas) since leaving balifornia, and thus was glad I invested twenty bucks in a new hoodoo at the next best thing to an Op-shop in the CBD 'Jayjays' (I haven't done any hilarious pranks or stunts with my attractive model friends since wearing their clothes though) and well I put my hood up.

You see I decided the old crooked mohawk was getting old and stale and I need to go back to basics and start growing my hair out for my next exciting hair sculpture. So I shaved it down to a number 1, 3mm and was pleased with the semi transparent result. So pleased I thought I may even go shorter down to 0 or go subzero with the actual razor next time. (beard rash on my head though?)

And that remained the ace up my sleeve the past couple of weeks. You see being a skinhead I figure would only be a pain come summertime because of the whole burning sun of vengence in Australia, and having to lotion my normally self greasing scalp with spf 40+ or wear some kind of nerd hat all summer... but winter, well winter if worse comes to worse you chuck on a beanie.

Or on a day like today you put your hoodie up over your head. Alas! with the wind pretty much just blowing in my face, the only thing keeping my hood from blowing clean off my head was the 3 mm of hair on my forehead was gripping tenuously to the soft inner of my hood and keeping it put.

If I were to shave down to the skin then to my horror, that hoodie would slide off and I would be presented with an all out brain freeze attack. Such constricting cold could lead to the error in judgement that might end my life in busy traffic.

So I was shattered, hair loss plan A just took one huge leap backwards, Hair isn't just cosmetic, it provides valuable traction (but now me thinks if I had my old slick and greasy ropes of hair, that hoodie would have slid off anyway where...oh yeah my hair would have kept me warm).

Anyway I guess the compromise is the mysterious Ronaldo:

I dub thee the 'traction patch'