Hug a Therapist

When on a plane to London, I started getting anxious. I think 3 weeks of being more or less alone was getting to me.
And also possibly watching how far I was going from everything familiar to me, in a mass of Indian and British nationals.
I got claustrophobic and told myself 'slow down slow down' and did, I realised watching the little picture of the plane creeping over the middle east wasn't helping so I flicked over to 'Things we lost in the fire' a film that by all rights should have been depressing and not just because it featured Halle Berry in a dramatic role (yeah like storm was better). But because it was the story of a woman who suddenly gets stuck as a single parent raising two young children and her dead spouses best friend is a recovering heroine addict. Making a happy circle of joy.
But its hard to feel sad around Benicio Del Toro and in one moving scene when he is in narcotics anonymous he shares his story of the tragic death of his only friend.
And I thought, man support groups, therapy and just any form of support is great.
Particularly when you are on rock bottom.
One profound revelation I had was meeting a person (albiet briefly) that actually suffered from genuine depression. And I realised, this person isn't like me, in that they can't exercise to make themselves feel better. Have sex to make themselves feel better, they just have a persistent chemical imbalance that makes them feel down no matter what circumstances they are in.
I am simultaneously reminded of an individual I know (thirdhand) who has bipolar disorder, and had described instances of being stuck in a depressed state standing in front of a light switch unable to muster the motivation to switch it on for hours.
And furthermore this person worked in a profession where he was treating people and hearing their ills and abuses all day long, and he became an informal councillor to them.
Knowing his reputation was on the line and that he had problems himself he drove himself over to the next town to get support from a professional.
And this kind of thing is what seperates the wheat from the chaff.
Getting help, if there is one thing my father has taught me, is a huge competitive advantage. Much like apologies are as well. One of those popular counterintuitive advantages revolving around the concept of being weak.
Unless you are part of the Dalai Lama crowd and believe emotions may cause chemicals in the brain rather than chemicals in the brain causing emotions. Emotions are caused by chemicals in the brain, I guess this is the case, because anti-depressents and popular drugs like alcohol are chemicals that can alter your emotional state and mood.
But it is true that conscious processes like thinking about your tramp of a wife can produce chemicals in the brain that alter your mood, such as anger or depression. And councilling and therepy can really help you out of that hole.
I last used a councillour to help me pull myself out of a particularly bad case of grief, to rationally understand what was happening to me, to give me exercises to help me sleep and gradually improve my overall mood.
And now my life is good again, and furthermore I can testify that my particular resistance to that particular form of grief has improved tenfold.
Yes it was an admission of weakness, I got help and I got stronger, so strong now I'm sure I could crush your manly head like it was no more than an overripe avocado. Infact I could probably now crush an avocado stone and all with my fist.
But that aside, organisations like beyond blue do good work, whilst googling for their ads I found the search for beyond blue on youtube came up with a reem of a womans video journals and she can probably tell you better than I ever could, what being depressed is like.
At anyrate, I said when leaving Honda that I realised that my own personal setbacks I had bodly battled through to the otherside probably indicated that these sorts of things were going on in colleagues lives all around us, and that we only see the tip of the iceberg.
My wish there was that people would pursue more stable balanced lives, but I think in general it holds true for everyone, that almost all of us know somebody who is going through taxing times at any given moment.
But that the ones that will emerge stronger from these, are the ones that leverage the efficiency of putting their confidence in a group or an individual that can give them constructive objective advice and also motivate them to pull through and learn from it.
So that said, if you are down, get help. Employers often have employee assistance programs, universities have free councilling, and there is at last resort talking to a GP. If you want to kick an addiction, go for god's sake into a sad gathering where you will get a clap for just making the effort. Better some applause for a really low bar (like being clean 2 days) than no appluase.
I think for me, travelling through aisa particularly, from depressed Japan, to run away train China and India and now to depressed Europe, I have noticed how important self-esteem is on a national level. I think the legacy of British Colonies, isn't just genocide of indigenous peoples, but also that Britans realitivly unenviable cuisine and drab architecture meant that the UK, USA, Australia and Canada are confident that they won't be wiped out by globalisation. Indeed in those cases of the expansion of McDonalds into every country, I don't see one that's local cuisine has suffered, or even really been threatened. Its all these countries that have movements and shake in their boots that if they don't throw up protective barriers their cultures will be whiped out, are the ones that have lost touch of their cultures the most.
Same same with me circa two years ago, I had loads of confidence and no self esteem. For me a big outcome of councilling was laying the foundation of self esteem, and whilst I don't enjoy flattery and compliments, I did have to learn to tell myself I was proud of me. Something I had never done before and something society actively discourages through its masochistic glorification of modesty as a virtue.
Now I'm a regular Mohammed Ali, and I have the weakness of needing councilling to thank for it.
If you know someone who is down, reach out be generous, be genuine, be honost. If they are stuck in a rut, get them councilling yourself.
And lastly if you know a councillour give them a hug. and if you are still to strong to acknowledge councillours and therapists and support groups and social workers do good valid work, give them a high five and see how they feel.