What is that scent? Nostalgia?

I saw Superbad yesterday when I made the first of what will probably be less than I should catch ups before I flee the country. Good old Sonam he has shit going on, if I collected people it would be based on their laughs and propensity to laugh and for that Sonam is awesome.
I used to train Sonam on how to be a man on a date and shit so he could capatilise on all the chemistry he had going on. Seriously though someone should seriously jump Sonam he's awesome.
Anyhoo Superbad is a film well worth seeing unless you trust herald sun reviewers and in that case what the fuck are you doing on this blog? learning grammer. fucktard.
It was a long almost absurdist take on the whole 'getting laid before college' motif. And it probably ended up being a story about how alcohol wasn't necessary for having a good time. But for me my experience on the whole 'getting laid before college' was non existent, not just because it didn't happen but also it seemed the pressure to get laid and make it public knowledge seemed insignificant compared to that that was placed on upon losing the mantle of 'frigid' an odd mantle but it seems there was far more social pressure on making out with a lady than the whole getting laid.
Grade 6 was for the early adopters and most joined the party in year 7, which is a whole year thats the duration of 26 long term relationships in year 7. Year 8 was slow but respectable for late blossomers and then the rest of us were camped out on the frigid island left hanging without high fives for anyone.
We were just left there, the kids making out were only matched in contempt for us by our contempt for eachother preventing us from hooking up and joining the love boat for its high school cruise.
So prominent was this death sentance hanging over my head when I landed my first official girlfriend Kim I choked after 8 hours of officialdom and ended it clawing my expectations out of my throaght and remaining frigid.
Fortunately for no rational reason being on race around the corner made me cool and I soon found myself dating Sarah back in my hometown. I was very happy with this as Sarah had sufficient personality to not just be my girlfriend but also be one of my friends. However I just could adjust my home habitat to couple life, the desk moving involved the 'hanging out' was a huge adjustment for me and being frigid prevented me from being cool about it.
So after 3 days my second relationship fell through. I was in dire straits, looking at a life sentance of never kissing a girl.
I plunged into the depths of teenage angst, I was reconciled to just being a psychological bully for the rest of my life and using the remarkably effective treatment of making myself feel better by picking on people smaller than me in physical and/or psychological size.
Then a few months which seemed like an eternity Sarah turned around one day and declared rather publicly that she still really liked me. And me, I played hard to get, demanding that their would be no flip flopping this time and an explanation for giving up on me the last time before I was reassured enough to 'give her a second chance' which you know I don't understand to this day because I was such a loser and I knew it and how I pulled off the high ground I wish I could replicate again.
And I finally managed to play it cool, we just sort of hung out for a week and then one day after wandering around Balifornia and I was dropping her off at a bus stop when she jumped me and that was that.
When my cherry got popped I sort of thought the transformation was so suttle I really should have dicked around in highschool. But the first kiss was such a burden off my mind, such an outreaching (I was probably something like Sarah's 18th kiss) and the new burden of my relatively stronger teen emotional dependancy on Sarah was not a whole lost of fun.
But that was probably the worst social pressure to do anything I've ever experienced, worse than smoking, drinking or any of the stuff they warn you about, worse than getting laid and other stuff they make movies about.
So kids out there, if you want the early advantage play around with your cousin.

Dime & Dress Codes

Today on my way back from the dentists (attempt 2 joy) I stopped in at borders to see that Slam magazine had updated again as had Dime magazine - the basketballer's lifestyle magazine. Basketballer lifestyle seems to differ from AFL players lifestyle and soccer players lifestyle (based on topgears cool rules for cars) in that within their own culture they seem to be regarded as tasteful.
Painful catchphrases like bling and shit aside a basketballer seems to be able to dress themselves and still be cool, have hot partners that are respected and so fourth in contrast to AFL players whose brownlow event is the fashion node of the calander year.
But what NBA and AFL have in common is commisioners who both have a shared stupidity in the 'professionalism' of dress codes. So as I was picking up Dime magazine and leafing through it today I was surprised to read the comment by a ball player 'I've always demanded respect... I was wearing suits to games before the dress code.'
I think this is one of the worst comments ever. The only one that's worse is possibly Charles Oakley's take on the dress codes:
'Allen Iverson has been playing for ten years and he's still wearing a t-shirt to games...grow up already' liberal paraphrasing aside this is just a stupid arguement.
I believe the players are paid to play basketball, and so long as they play fucking basketball they are professional. Anything else is just fluff.
Jordan wore suits to games because he wanted to cultivate an image, he was leveraging off a perception that people wore suits to work and as such used the suit as a symbol to people that he played basketball like he was going to work.
And maybe it worked, but that is an individuals choice. Allen Iverson has an equal right to express that he is a gangsta, playing for his homies, or that he is a warrior or for whatever reason.
Just as any other player should have the right to feel comfortable turning up in a tracksuit.
For the record I think dress codes are bullshit in the office. Any justification is weak. Particularly since Gen Y seems to have figured out that for the investment of time required in a full time job, it should, nay must be a fun fucking job to take it in the first place, otherwise it aint worth the investment of time in our brief brief lives.
And I have to say, I seem to get promoted with greater regularity than my dressier counterparts, just like I can easily recall Allen Iverson's name but can't recall the guy in the Dime Article.
People often cop out and say to me (I kid you not) 'Oh but the rules don't apply to you tohm because you're clever, other people have to play the game' but in essence I dress down because I am playing the game, other people do play the game but they play the losing hand.
There are some concessions, like your choice in dress should acknowledge the power relationship, a salesman can't deny the power a customer has. And that's about it, if you can live with a conservative culture, and more importantly have fun in one then stick with it loser but I just wouldn't tolerate that, I've got better fucking things to spend not just time on, but contribute the value I have to.
Coming back to wearing a suit = demanding respect. Maybe it does but in marketing speak we call that 'Look at me' which is a market segmentation models, generally 'Visable Achievers' are high achievers with high sense of self esteem, thus don't need recognisable brands or imagery to validate their achievement, a hard category for marketers to reach. 'Look at me's' can be successful but have low self esteem thus seek approval from almost everyone through easily recognisable brands and imagery, they consume fast cars, nice suits and 'bling' in a conspicuous and pitiful way.
And that is who you are essentially when you 'demand' respect by wearing a suit. Or in Eddie Macguire's case hand out 'respect' in the form of Versace/Armani/Cocktard suits to players. I mean you could look at the accursed Collingwood in an exercise in mixed message marketing, about the only blue collared sponser is McDonalds and they still equate to big money in the mind. Then there's the luxary brands Lexus and Emirates Airlines (the UAE oil money always speaks of excess) and semantically you are left with nothing but hypocrisy. Eddie has taken the 'Love them or you hate them' mentality and amplified it. As opposed to North Melbourne's 'Shinboner' strategy which is to take a quality of determination that almost any old club has and give it a name and own it. Now everybody respects the roos and they perform arguably better than collingwood with all its lavish facilities and advantages.

I own cufflinks, I even wear them, but the time they take to put in and take out, their natural lack of balance and need for specific shirts means I almost never wear them. They don't speak of efficiency to me, and efficiency is professional. I kind of look at any athlete turning up in evening wear to go to a match and wonder what merit spending 40 minutes dressing to the nines and then going and spending 20 minutes changing at a venue into comfortable breathable playing gear could possibly have. Keeping in mind the added stress of folding and hanging all the good threads as you change. I wonder what psychological edge it gives a guy like AI to just turn up in something comfortable.

44 years on

Congratulations to any loser Geelong supporters. Today, you are winners well done on the patience front. I feel your joy and consolation.

I like Gil

If there is a blog I am a fan of it is that of Agent 0, Gilbert Arena. As a person hes as hard to pin down as he is a player. He is kind of the (young) Koutafides of Basketball, to big for small pointgaurds to outpower, too quick for large point guards to defend against. He also makes respectable assist figures whilst being one of last years top five scorers. Which is boring for you reader to hear.
But I think what I like most about Gil is that he is insane, just completely insane. His blog is an exercise in reading insanity carrying off a good impression of reasoned arguement.
I mean usually when I want bad advice about women I go straight to harvard who I worry is actually giving good advice from a malaysian perspective. But Gil is on a whole other level of advice. His latest blog post talks at length about his shoes but down the bottom has his recap of an arguement he had with his girlfriend about keeping a car clean that resulted him being kicked out of the car and having to walk to the gym, in his gym gear without a wallet with which to make use of a bus or taxi.
How does Gil get out of this one? apologising and coming to some sort of compromise? speaking loudly through actions and cleaning the car? No he went on strike and didn't answer any of her calls, didn't answer her pager and slept on a couch in the gym for a whole week.
If I ever tried shit like that I'm sure I would find myself single by the end of the week, and feel incredibly guilty about taking such a juvenile strategy for such a minor arguement and fuck life is short, why would I want to spend a whole week of it on a couch no matter how comfortable.
And I guess thats why I love Gil and his blog, the man who took a shower in uniform midmatch one time. That licks all the donuts that have been brought for the team as a hilarious prank. And when sighted by a ball boy dragging his foot like he was injured up a staircase before a match and asked if he was okay responded 'yeah, its ritual'
Check out his blog sometime.

A Shot of Confidence

Already I am worried about the possibly misleading nature of my post, as most of my friends have that one of the three Australian dependencies: Alcohol, Cars and Home Ownership.
No I didn't have a couple of shots and pick up some skank, I instead did the more boring activity of running a training day over the weekend. I fucked up the timing, it generated discussion but not active participation, and I had to run from screen to clicker and lost all animations moving from pc to mac so I fucked up a lot of things but overall I saw real value in the training session.
If I had my time again I would have shuffled the order and tried to achieve less in one sitting but the thought, the revelation I had was 'I can do this' I can become a consultant, with the little knowledge I have accumulated I can still contribute it in the right places to a lot of organisations out there.
I can be a consultant, I have legitimate product to sell, I can do it. That be my shot of confidence and my future took shape, not all of it, but the financial independance part started to take shape.
It'll be work, but I can do it. Profound.

Another One Bites the Dust

I like the imagery of a cowboy hitting the dust, with his teeth after being gunned down in a quickdraw. His teeth breaking out whilst he can no longer feel them. I find it spectacular, dramatic and comical.
Well what can I say, I'm back on the meat market and this time around its an odd sensation. Odd because its no real setback to most of the work I did last time. No brooding or devestation, no days off, no crying in a field. I'm yet to cry and I kind of feel guilty because if ever there was a girl worth crying over its Misaki.
But I guess that its one of those clean breaks that comes after the pressure of a long distance relationship has finally built up to breaking point.
Yeah I love her, and I keep thinking of joyous snippets and mannerisms of memories of our summer of love, her hiccup laugh and perhaps most dangerously how her manner of speaking is one of the best and easiest ones to impersonate for the amusement of myself and my friends. I think I do it to her as well without even noticing it.
But I will say two things that are totally ups for Long-distance relationships for anyone thinking of giving up now, now that someone as magnificent as me has failed.

1. Long distance relationships can help you stay out of the trap of devaluing all your other many relationships. I think a lot of stupid young couples attempt to experience true love by neglecting every other relationship they have. And this isn't the third wheel spurned WOM hating mate speak, but just that a good relationship should need you to free up good feelings towards anyone else, otherwise you haven't gained anything, and you probably don't bring anything much.

2. Having your own space means you can grow as an individual and if things turn sour be required to undergo very little behavioural change. I'm slightly unnerved by how well I'm taking this, which isn't to say I'm imune to feeling, don't get me wrong I want my ownership of my former pretty cake, I feel pretty sad about it just not overwhelmed or under attack or insecure.

The hardest thing for me right now is putting together the pieces of what this actually means. ie. not being misaki's boyfriend friday, not being misaki's boyfriend friday... not being misaki's boyfriend the day I die. Adding up all the pieces in between is sort of the reality that hits my brain with varying degrees of substantialness, but you know whatever, fuck it, one day at a time.

Villany through non-Adulation

I will remember forever the first day I met Vicky, my art teacher and mentor because she drew a line in the sand. She had over the holiday period in which my school had had to replace our art teacher, taken away all the artwork displayed and painted the walls blue.
She said to us in tones considered harsh for what was really a bludge subject 'I have taken down the art because it was not good enough, art to be displayed will be of a quality to inspire you...' or something to that effect, it was strong and it was profound. It was very athleticly competitive really.
But art is a funny thing, it has these high standards set by the renaissance masters, the surrealists, the impressionists etc. Like music it has had that many movements that now its just in a sort of open space for exploration. Music tends more to a bipolar split between purist classical people that cant jump on board any other movement (although classical has plenty of movements within its long life span) and the baby boomer anchor in the heady days of the 60's and late 70's.
But art in the visual art and traditional medium sense, doesn't tend to have problems with popularist and it is generally recognised that an artist has to be pretty fucken special and dedicated to reach the pinnacle standard of actually being able to subsist on an art derived income.
I'm totally comfortable with the art world and all its ridiculous and oft pretentious movements.
I'm not comfortable with TV though, because of a bizarre coalition of religious devotees to a show called 'Summer Heights High' religious devotees being, just about every single last person in the world I talk to these days.
And I don't know how to explain how frustrating my persecution is. But maybe to highlight, I was talking on msn with a friend today, who remarked that while they were out of the country they were missing Summer Heights High. Not an odd remark, especially when I seem to be constantly asked whether I watched it by coworkers, friends and foreign delagates alike.
What made it odd was the person was lamenting missing it without having ever seen the Show or its predecessor 'We Can Be Heroes'.
And within 20 seconds I found myself trying furiously to intelligently debate why it wasn't that great. Trying to explain to someone who had never seen the show, or any work by the maker why I didn't like it.
I call this phenomena - 'Villany Through Non-Adulation' that is to say my position on this particular show is this:

Chris Lilley is a good character actor, and some of his performances are on the money.

That's not overly critical, infact not even critical, it isn't damning of the show, nor I feel would fans of the show call me a 'contrarian'. But I seem to have my reason attacked because my take on the show is not:

Chris Lilley is a genius, Summer Heights High is a must see, it is the work of genius the likes of which have never been seen before.

Now in my view, none of those statements are true. Don't get me wrong, Summer Heights High is a hit. Dead centre, on point, it resonates with the national audiance and as good business ROI and all that shit is by all means a worthwhile activity for the ABC.
But so is Kath & Kim, The Nanny, Home Improvement, Full House, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Da Vinci Code, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond etc.
All not the work of genius. Great business, ratings winners all, but just not genius. Some may have been smart but for the time being I seem to be under seige for not including it on this list:

Arrested Development, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, The Office, Extras, Seinfield, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Deadwood, Rome, The Wire, John Safran vs God and Southpark.

Which is to say a list of shows that are the work of genius, because they are surprising, enthralling, captaviting and emotive. Some of the best writing, acting and production that has been seen ever. All of them are consistent and in almost all cases offer something that has never been seen before.
And having myself a list like this, of truly great shows is a good thing. But my refusal to put a show that seems to have captured popular opinion is my right that seems to land me in trouble.
Because its easy to explain why it doesn't deserve to be on there. But the act of explaining why a show doesn't deserve to be on there ends up creating a 'negative screening process' which in turn sets up a list of redundant purpose titled 'works of not genius' so instead of having a list that is a positive thing, for when I see a show so good I go 'wow I want to create something like that someday' I can file it away I have to explain in a negative frame of mind, why a show that should just be left floating on a tv schedule without much further analysis is not on there.
Like there is something wrong with me.
Ironically a show which captures the sentiment I'm getting at is Extras. Ironically Ricky Gervais as described by Stephen Fry has captured the hollowness of faim in a way that isn't just for industry insiders but is as relavant today to comedy as the british class system was in 60s-thru-80s.
The BAFTA awards sum it up beautifully with Andy Millman's catch phrase comedy being described as 'tacky shit' by the very people he seeks validation from. The difference between Chris Lilley and Andy Millman's character judging by the AFI awards reaction (which I can't find on youtube anywhere) is that Chris thinks he is some kind of Genius, where Andy Millman is not proud of his work.

And I'm sick of getting treated like some kind of villain, or jealous child, simply because I don't rate a show as high as people want me to. Character acting is a skill, Chris Lilley may well be one of the best at it, but instead of appealing to surprise, it appeals to the familiar and that is why 20 minutes of it is enough for me. 6 episodes each an hour long tries my patience. And thats just who I am, I want to be surprised.
Little Britain was a similar show but it did sometimes have some surprising exchanges. But the formula was definitely tired by the second series.
Contrast those shows to the multi-AFI award winning John Safran vs God, a show that at the time looked at diverse subject matter, had a new way to structuring interest pieces and perhaps the most brilliant part itself Safran's own ballsey approach to his relationship with his own audiance, that is as my former housemate Damo would describe it: 'he never lets his audiance get too comfortable'
That is new and surprising to me, I like Safrans form of Gonzo journalism, and his embracing of an intellectual and immature debating style, for the love of debate.
And that's a positive and wonderful thing he gives me as a viewer.

Athiests probably know this kind of villany well, and it is infuriating, because for the most part Atheists lacking an instututionalised religion have never harmed anyone, live a self determined lifestyle and have no higher power than moral behaviour.
Comparing those three simple things to even the most liberal practitioner of faith and they fall far short, but because religion and spirituality is popular, someone doing something positive, by setting standards, not prejudging, and taking responsibility for their own destiny and relations to fellow human beings, is seen as close-minded and arrogant.
But atheists have for the most part been more open minded about religion and spirituality than most, as they have probably at some point examined the need for religion and spirituality in the first place, where most others have simply made a closed minded assumption to do as their parents do.
But I find myself constantly having to explain myself and why I've taken a reasonable and personal decision, to others and somehow end up looking like the attacker.
So fuck you, fuck you all, you small minded fucks, go really look at yourselves, I'm a creative, loving and positive person also capable of critical thinking and having standards for entertainment and I'm sick of you demanding me to validate your own lack of taste, no matter how obscure mine might be to obtain.

Pirates vs. Ninjas

Recentlyish, Jane invited me via facebook to be a pirate in the Pirate vs Ninjas debate. I joined, fearing retribution but was dissapointed to see that the function did not allow me to backstab Jane and switch sides to Ninja.
This prompted me to think it is about time for me to weigh in to the debate via my highly influential blog.
I have to say, who is anyone kidding? what fucking chance in the world do Pirates have. I'll tell you, just one: sail out to the middle of the pacific ocean. In any real confrontation Pirates wouldn't stand a chance against one ninja.
I mean Japan was never known for having a particularly formidable navy, but ninja's were employed to sneak aboard and set fire to the powder house all the time.
You are talking about covert sabatours trained in the martial arts, stealth, firearms and social engineering from birth for mercenary employment vs. sailors (no formal qualification required) often pressganged deciding to mutiny and then sailing around raiding things or capturing trading ships until they were busted up by the navy or died of malnutrition.
Even the most successful buckaneers like Henry Morgan that were more admirals in a navy than pirate in the spirit of the word wouldn't have stood a chance against the formidability of ninjas.
The upbringing is such that I just can't see pirates ever having a definable set of skills that could overcome a Ninjas in any meaningful way.
I cant gauruntee pirates would be on the whole better swimmers, nor even better knot tiers. Infact when it comes to skills that nobody would usually deem worthy of attempting to perfect, the japanese have it down. Not ninja's but the japanese in general to this day eg. folding, making tea, getting dressed, cleaning windows... everydamn thing, I'd honestly be surprised if Japanese kids weren't also very good at tying knots.
The ratio is as near as I can guestimate, 1 ninja = 80 pirates.
I guess you could argue that Pirates are still around today, still using the same flagrant unskilled approach to their profession as always, yet where are ninja's now. Well, precisely, where are ninja's now. They could be all aound us, there could be one watching you right now, so just think carefully about which way you vote.

I lost the game...

How's this for zen, you are now playing the game and will continue to play it for the rest of your life by virtue of reading this.
The rules are simple, you are playing the game all the time. Whenever you think of the game, about the game or become aware you are playing the game, you have to say 'I lost the game' and let everyone else know you lost the game. That's the only rule. Once you lose a game you start playing the next game, which has the same rule.

Enjoy.

Happy Birthday Tiger Teeth

It seems to me that barely a blink of an eye has gone by since I last posted about my magical unicorn bride Yoko from japan. Yet this year I was more organised with an automated alarm reminding me to send a birthday card. What an odd irregular yet regular as clockwork habit of mine.
Though Yoko is but a dusty memory of mine and it would be bizarre to hear from her again her birthday is much more joyous for me than my own. Low key what an introvert would like, I think it will be my new time period of achievement.
Anyway happy birthday my magical unicorn.

Father's day special: The Life Giving Sword

In Inu Yasha a long running manga series that I have long since given up on following the seemingly endless plotlines of Japanese Manga of which Inu Yasha excels there is the main character Inu Yasha a half-dog half-man demon and his brother called something else. In a cruel twist of fate Inu the protagonist has been given the perfect killing blade of destruction and his evil brother a sword that can only be used to heal, not kill.

And thus thusserson came up with a literal interpretation of Yagyu Munenori's philosophy of the 'Life-Giving Sword' a work in the tradition of Zen Swordsmanship of lesser fame than the book of five rings, lesser by virtue of Yagyu being more of a legitimately accomplished sword-saint and instructor than Musashi who was more romantically accomplished at sword.
The philosophy of the Life-Giving-Sword is that you use a Death-dealing-sword or destructive element to destroy something evil and thus achieve a good outcome. So to save 10,000 you cut down 1 person etc. Utilitaranism translated into a warrior code and possibly the product of rationalisation.
Anyway I feel I am begenning to suspect that I understand what old Yagyu was getting at. Recently a destructive and powerful element entered my workplace. One that was starting to tear the whole department apart.
If there was anything I learned from my own father though, is that if you leave a small problem and hope for the better it generally just gets bigger and everybody loses.
I watched my dad for years get out manouvered by a useless turd that had a penchant for networking, a reality of the workplace but not a good one. And to be fair my father wasn't destroyed he is for the most part seemingly indestructable, but the damage to things he valued including his workplace started to escalate out of his control and beyond even the point where he walked. His personal investment in what he had built got destroyed because he had believe the problem transparent to all.
And such problems are cancerous, we all in some way have a duty to those we care about and ourselves to act on a problem and 'strike at evil' in order to preserve good.
As a scalpal is a tool that cuts in order to save lives, so is every tool potentially a weapon of destruction or a life saving necessity.
A lot of my identity and values have been imparted to me by dad, I've also had pleny of space to develope my own unique persona but this gift of experience from my father has helped me come to terms with my own dual nature.
I used to style myself a player in high school, I got quite a malicious pleasure from triumphing politically and psychologically over other people. At the time it was my way of feeling in control over myself and what happened to me as a result of Dad's political situation at work.
Fortunately when I arrived t Honda, networking and psychological manipulations weren't really necessary at all, the management structure was entrenched and authoritive and largely benign.
I've discovered since the joy of being a team player and the ease of living in a win-win mentallity. And this is where I like to hang out and relax in my thinking.
But I am also at peace with the destructive nature of my personality being there in the background, it is a tool of use that I'd rather not use but is there, a death-dealing sword consisting of the tactics and insights of which my brain naturally gravitates that I have turned into something constructive.
So compelled by the problem in our midst and drawing from dads experience, I cut at the evil with as much skill and accuracy as my ability allows, and I'm still learning, I have only really begun to 'pick up the sword' without bloodlust.
But this is something I could not have done without significant contribution from the wisdom and experience of my father.

Economics of Attention

I'll shortly be performing my very first training day. Who would have thought after all this time and blogging people would actually want to listen to me, moreover learn to be a little more like tohm. I'm hoping to build up some consulting work so this will be a good test run. Anyway one of the respondents sent me this which I think encapsulates well the whole positioning line as well:

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_economy:

Herbert Simon was perhaps the first person to
articulate the concept of attention economics when he
wrote:

"...in an information-rich world, the wealth of
information means a dearth of something else: a
scarcity of whatever it is that information
consumes. What information consumes is rather
obvious: it consumes the attention of its
recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a
poverty of attention and a need to allocate that
attention efficiently among the overabundance of
information sources that might consume it" (Simon
1971, p. 40-41).

He noted that many designers of information systems
incorrectly represented their design problem as
information scarcity rather than attention scarcity,
and as a result they built systems that excelled at
providing more and more information to people, when
what was really needed were systems that excelled at
filtering out unimportant or irrelevant information
(Simon 1996, p. 143-144).

--- Gav.

One Trick Pony

Tomorrows a big day for me, I'm going to the Visa Party to celebrate Zaman among others securing a permanant visa for Australia.
My contribution to the merry making will be my chocolate birds nest. Its my one desert trick. I'm a one trick pony I admit it.