Peeping Tom: Melbourne

Last night I went to see Patton on stage, I got a fairly premo viewing position, though one has to question why a venue has such an obvious point of conflict as a raised step for people to stand on in the front row. Go ahead block every single persons view behind it.
After the support act a guy moved and I got up on the platform, I didn't feel too bad about it because the guy who's place I took would have easily clocked in at over 6 foot. Why he felt it necessary to get front and centre is beyond me.

But the performance itself was faultless. Infact I have to say I was there more for Mike Patton than Peeping Tom, though I doubt I'd go to Mr.Bungle or Tomahawk. By all means experiment you artists out there, but I'm not going to buy an album that requires effort for me to understand and appreciate versus one that has a more easily accecable payload for me.
But yeah I highly recommend Peeping Tom, its sort of like my dream company, just bringing talented creative people from different fields together eg. beatboxing, synth players, punk three pieces, violinists, soul singers, dj's and ending up with something that mos def isn't Linkin Park.
I mean they showcased each component periodically for a solo whilst the band took a break to hang a slash or drink coffee or whatever was necessary and I was impressed. It was similar to coming across a street busker actually doing something interesting.

But man, as much as I love seeing a band live, I hate meeting other fans, I really hate it. I feel no solidarity or loyalty to fellow fans at all. I always look around to see what the other fans say about me. Apparantly I'm a single male loser.
I mean I've got a blog so there's no denying the loser part.
But here was just a few observations I made from my limited experiences with the fans in my vicinity:

1. Don't wear a backpack - are you fucking kidding me, are you out of your fucking mind. Why the fuck do you bring a backpack to a concert and furthermore buy GA tickets and go crowd to the front. You space taking mother fucker. Haven't you been to one of these before? Have you tripped into the big smoke from werribee for the day and packed a cut lunch and some pj's so you can stay at your friends house? fucking think these things through. I felt I was overdoing it wearing a jacket, but I couldn't be fucked waiting for a train in just a tshirt and I felt compromised. A backpack? why the fuck did security let that in.

2. To a lesser extent, handbags. I've been to a few concerts now and stood in enough lines to know that girls, bringing a handbag is just a dumb fucking idea. You don't want to pick up at these concerts. The band member of interest is not going to spot you and seriously invite you to some awesome after party. no need to accessorise. Just wear shoes jeans, if your purse is bulky and full of shit, just stuff some notes into your bra.

3. Upbeat denial - whilst it is inspiring that you press on with your life, really and I've said it before, you are not shocking anyone. If you aren't/weren't in the beautiful group in highschool, there's no need to let it dominate your life. I wasn't and believe me, dressing up as a goth/skank/mcslurry isn't challanging their philosophies and life values. What it is doing is macking me pray some sweaty drunk guy grinds up against me instead of your pimply breasts on your overweight frame into a canterleavered corset and your assimetrical fringe red hair dyed black with liberal foundation trowelled over your freckled complexion.
I wasn't looking my best, I have an undercut for fuck's sake, I didn't shave and grow ginger facial hair but I don't feel the need to shove the fact in everyone's faces and try to redefine sexy as quite offputting.
I mean your talking about Mike patton on stage, a guy that has 24 hours in a day to incorporate image into his performance, with beautiful back up singers/beatboxers. It's a humbling experience for all. So we're not exceptionally attractive fans, doesn't mean we have to do our darndest to be exceptionally unattractive fans. Rebel all you want but just don't go trying to solicit an acknowledgement in a crowd full of nerds.

4. Nerds. NERDS!! I totally, totally relate to you guys. You've invested hours into a band, both listening and researching useless facts like inspirations, side projects and traumatic childhood events suffered by the artist. Maybe your knowledge has even allowed you to contribute to a wikipedia article on the band.
I used to know how every alternative band in the California Bay area knew one another. I probably clocked up over 400 hours of listening to Aenima alone. I read up all the political campaigns RATM supported, I even read 'Our Word is Our Weapon' by subcommandant Marcos.
Fact is almost everyone that would shell out $70 to see Peeping Tom, is probably a nerd. They didn't get that much airplay, publicity here in Oz so you know it figures most people came through on the basis of being a FNM, Mr Bungle or Tomahawk fan which 10 years after Ashes to Ashes means we're talking dedication to recall.
But some nerds, myself included feel secure enough to keep our mouths shut. Yes Mike Patton/Tool/RATM/Audioslave/Deftones/Slayer whatever is important to you. But everyone else probably has that same significant feeling. So as disheartening as it is to see other people put in the listening hours and arrive at seemingly very different conclusions than you. Don't fucking make everyone around you experience a cringefest and feel bad about themselves by trying to establish your superior knowledge.
"You have't heard of Lovage, you're not a real fan, you don't know the half of Mike Patton's talent then"
"I think creatively I'm in the same place as Mike Patton about know"
And wearing a shirt that says 'Mike Patton is God'. Yeah a play on the old Eric Clapton graffiti, and Mike being a bit cooler and photogenic than old Slowhand there is some basis for comparison there. Except that Eric Clapton dates to a time where there was no 'underground' and 'mainstream' really and that 'Eric Clapton is God' was real common graffiti throughout London and New York, heaps of people wore these shirts it was an institution. But the difference as I see it is that you made your own. And you are wearing a backback.
As a comparison to God (mind you if I had devout followers like George Bush, I would use my omnipotence to kill myself) it's not really fair, because if you, you backpack wearing nerd populate my devout fundamentalist base, I feel bad. I think if anyone could pick a god to be it would be Bachus, for the wine drinking orgies with nubile grecian priestesses and athletes of old olympia.
But as I said and judging myself by the Eric Clapton paragraph, the fact I got the reference and provided an analysis for it on my blog makes a good case that I am a nerd, I kept my mouth shut the whole concert with the exception of when Mike was asking the crowd to yell out 'Ohhh' or something for the songs.
Because I was there to see the band, not make friends with fans and feel, no longer alone, or worse, try and establish my rank in a heirarchy of people that due to the limited supply of tickets for any show, are never again going to congregate in one place.

5. That cunt who was spitting at Patton. If it's inevitable that at any concert like that there's going to be people spitting at the band, throwing shit at the band, how come you were the only one. I mean you probably lined up before the doors even opened and parked your arse dead centre front row against the barrier. Stood there for 4 hours through the support band and the sound check, to what enjoy the performance in your own individual way, by your own definition of enjoyment or entertain fantasies that you, you alone are different (not such a fantasy, but different not in the way you think) I was behind this cunt and I have to say, I had a great view, great experience of the band but the sound wasn't actually that great.
but this guy, first during the sound check pulls out his heavy digital camera and goes through about 50 shots of Patton doing an instore at JB Hifi. Which is to say, wearing a hat and sitting in a chair.
Then what does this posse do with their primo position? For the first three 4 songs they just take photos, almost constantly. What do photo's do? say you were there. These people weren't dancing, just taking photos, they probably blew a quarter of the set just muscling people who were there to see the band enjoy the performance so they could take some still shots of the performance to show they're baby bonus kids in the morning.
Then when the dude does put away his camera, he just starts hocking loogies at Mike. to be honest it's the first time I've been that close to a stage to actually be aware it goes on. I'd also read of Mike encouraging fans to spit in his mouth before, I thought it may actually be something that you do at a Tomahawk or Mr Bungle concert. Sort of like yelling 'Primus Sucks' or throwing Mentos at the Foo fighters. But the guy just kept doing it and doing it and didn't fucking stop. And eventually patton noticed and started getting angry.
And it clicked A) this guy was the only one doing it B) this guy was a dick.
I have to say, to some extent I enjoyed the fact that Mike just kept on, worked the crowd and the music was fucking something else, it made me realise just how mediocre the Australian Artists getting signed/winning Australian Idol really are.
My musical knowledge and experience isn't actualy sufficient to appreciate what goes into making music until I see it live.
But this guy? what do you do, it probably would have been easy to pick him up and shove him over the barrier so security take him out of the way but if he swings back you're both getting chucked out of the concert. So you just sort of have to passively take it.
And I guess ironically I felt as I stood in this situation that I could relate to Patton in this particular instant, as he called the guy 'Shirley fucking faggot' or something, hocked back at him (which may have been the sad fantasy the guy was hoping for) and got one of his backing singers to spit at him. Except Mike's A) probably been through this a million fucking times B) liable to be sued if he tries to drop the cunt. Whereas I was just concerned about losing my view/missing the rest of the concert.
So if the question is 'Why did you bother coming?' the answer is because in his own head, and in truth reality he is a fan. the real question is 'What the fuck is wrong with your fucking brain, you fucking retard, you want to get your kicks spitting on a guy you respect so much, you dumbass zone 3 unemployed, Off Ya Tree shoppping motherfuck?'
Because I'm forced into my cowardly passive aggressive state this dude really got to me. Mike did stick out his tongue and encourage the guy to try and spit in his mouth, which I had previously thought was the performance artist side of the deal, but when you see it up close it happens when he's really pissed.

6. Brawling Bitches - If you weigh more than two nerds put together and your female and you are up the front where people barely have standing space, don't start dancing, you will elbow someone in the head and then if a fight starts you gracelessesly fall on your arse and security removes you (if they can)

That was just 6 and I guess it just says on a simple level that I hate fans of anything, and hate being a part of a fan base, but it happens by default when you go to see a fucking band.
But at other concerts like Pearl Jam and Ben Harper I hear it's the teeny boppers that piss everyone off. At punk concerts its going to be the guy that spits, unfortunately for me at Tool and Patton related performances its punk fans and nerds and they don't all get along.

But really all this boils down to is a lack of basic 'social' skills, we live in a society, and communities so these skills are important.
Just basic shit, like treat other people with respect, consider their feelings and empathise with them when appropriate, whether they be a high and mighty rock star on stage or just some person that wants to not be elbowed in the head because you want dancing space where it just aint available, or space for a backpack for that matter.

Even though I may seemingly contradict myself by cowardly attacking people I don't really know on my blog, a blog requires active involvement to be listened to. It isn't me yelling at your face, you all have the ability to choose to read a blog, but when you stick your elbow into me because I don't have a choice about being pushed up against you, that's the difference.

blogging = active media - requires willing participation from reader
being a cunt at a concert/footy match/school play = passive media, we all have to put up with it whether we like it or not.

So work on them social skills.
Here's some first steps -
1. You don't have to say everything you think.
2. Stand in front of the mirror and say 'Some people love me and think I am special but let's be frank, they vast majority don't'
3. Refrain from willingly causing someone physical pain or discomfort every 2nd time you are tempted too.
4. Spit down not up.