Suicide

I have to say I would be hard pressed to see any situation where suicide was the best solution to someone's personal problems. But I respect that it is a rational permanant solution to in most case a temporary emotional problem.
Where problems aren't temporary (or possibly not of an emotional state nature) I guess I have no problem with someone ending their own life, eg someone terminally ill (the pain won't get better) or someone being tortured as punishment or for interrogation purposes (not emotional) again with little prospect of relief.
Furthermore I believe there are causes worth dying for, like protecting loved ones or one's own integrity over non trivial issues.
Needless to say Suicide be what I am dealing with, except in the exceptionally joyous circumstances that it was a failed attempt(s) and their is a slim chance worth fighting for that it can be turned around.
I have never dealt with this before and suicide has been a remote issue, but my thoughts on this absolutely serious issue (and my close friends rest assured that even on the periphery I will seek help from councillors over my role) it was a rational decision, planned and with reasons as to why the attempts were made and repeated.
I believe there is a strong psychological barrier that requires the absolute opposite of cowardice to push oneself across that edge that runs contrary to the interests of survival.
In short they must have felt bad, really bad.
Furthermore in the past when engagin in seemingly self destructive behaviours they gave out all the clues, the direct complaints about exactly what their position was and those that did listen instead respected the beliefs of the family unit. And their authority over their affairs.
Misaki my beautiful blossum for whom I continue to wonder in amazement at the profound impression she has made on me in such a short time serves as a great emotional consultant for me as I tend to reject emotional perspectives too quickly. I'm really grateful for the complimentary team work.
She's absolutely right, I don't understand what it is to be a mother, to have children, I have repeatedly stated that I cannot concieve of how Janice (my mother)thinks.
How her mind has the capacity to lead a normal life whilst worrying almost constantly about the welfare of her children.
I don't get it, I don't get the emotional bond she has, I don't know when her reasoning is going to be overridden by concern and I don't get when she is going to see through me and turn critical.
What I do get is this proximate friend's mother is not like Janice. Nor is she like other mothers that I also don't understand. I don't understand either but I understand the difference.
Furthermore I don't understand whats going through my head versus what is going through others.
But I can see the causes and effects of what other people are saying.
I don't think suicide or even attempted suicide are shameful and certainly shouldn't be relegated to the shady skeletons in the closet. People shouldn't pretend they were never pushed to this extreme position, it happened and there are reasons for it.
In this case, (my case however proximate) I haven't heard the reasons but I can guess in which direction they would run.
But maybe not I also have encountered people that struggle with depression whom can't obtain the relief I can simply by exercising, talking etc. For these cases medication can be a life saver through improving the quality of life.
But if the family unit has been tainted and set up to systematticaly destroy an individuals esteem medication can be a risky cop out, even a cruel form of torture if the causes, or reasons aren't dealt with only the symptoms.
Like a torture victim being given drugs to suppress the pain of torture without the torture physically stopping.
That's probably what I find most daunting, I feel helpless in this regard. I have assembled through the process of my life a team to support me, really a vast network of beautiful wonderful people such as Bryce, Shona, Misaki, My family (please note by conscious choice if my family weren't supportive they would not be here), my friends from highschool, from IH, surrounding me at work all over the place.
So much so even when I recieve news of this kind I can honestly say to Miho in the office in the morning 'itsumo genki dayo' - 'I'm always good'. A state of being I have worked efficiently and also hard to create.
The saying 'You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family' is one of the most depressing and erroneous statements out there.
It's true you can't pick the family you start out with but you can and should be encouraged to pick the family you end up with.
Love I don't doubt is in abundance but it's not always a positive thing. Suicide is a deep, dark hole, a state of mind it will be hard to climb out of.
Coincidentally I'm reading Jim Collins 'Good to Great' right now, I may not be too sharp on the plain of emotional decisions and frankly have little respect for them (though that doesn't mean they don't exist and won't effect me) but to draw an analogy between good companies capable of digging themselves out of insolvency and great teams capable of bringing someone out of the suicidal mind state - the most important thing is to get the right people involved, not the right vision of how it will be solved. With enough talent alined towards the individual the emotional associations and reasoning can be broken down and dealt with and overcome.
My fear comes from my belief that at the moment the wrong people are on the bus to happyville and that it has no chance of heading in the right direction. I feel particularly unempowered to attempt to get on the bus, and get the wrong people off it or at least sitting in the right seats.
I mentioned 'The God Delusion' made me cry, the offending passage was in regards to Britains late legalisation of Homosexual Practice - I don't have the book with me so I can't quote the guys name but he was a WWII veteran with a legitimate claim at being the father of the computer. His innovations saved countless lives by delivering the highest standard of intelligence to commanding allied forces, enabling decription and transmission of vital information allowing them to prevail over the Nazi's as one of many contributions to allied victory.
After the war he was convicted as a practicing Homosexual, a practice that harmed nobody and was conducted between two consenting adults in the privacy of their homes. The state punishment was a choice between a 2 year prison sentance subject to the brutalities of his fellow inmates due to the nature of his conviction or to have himself injected with hormones that among other things would have caused him to develope breasts.
Instead he chose to inject an apple with cyanide and end his own life. Betrayed by his own country, who were betrayed by their own religious beliefs. I can find no arguement to say that he didn't make the right choice, except arguements from people who frankly the world would be better off without.