There's a party in my Mouth and the KKK is invited

No not hollandaise sauce or carbonara but harissa:

250 g red chillis
1 garlic clove
dry mint
dry cumin
olive oil
lemon juice
salt

chuck in blender and blend up then put in a jar and you have a delicious spread that due to the unique nature of the chilli will speed up my metabolism if I have it on anything.

So here's what I did:

Assume if you are specifying red you mean those baby red chillis and clean out 3 supermarkets trying to get 250g of them (this cost me less than a buck though I was real impressed) 250 g is a lot of those little red chillis. So who can be fucked removing the seeds from like a million tiny little chillis? I cut the stems off and skinned a whole bulb of garlic and threw it all in the blender. Then I squeezed in my lemon juice and then added some olive oil and blended it all into a salmon pink.
Now I'd been told to taste it in order to determine how much spice I needed to add, so I cautiously dipped my pinky into the now stationary blender and dabbed it on my tongue.
The shit stuck to my face like napalm and burned for an hour and a half.
My nostrils burnt just lifting the lid off the blender.
I know you go to restaurants and shit and people tell you wasabi and chilli and shit is real hot shit and you see cartoons where people jump up and down and flames come out and shit. It's not like that but it is the hottest thing I've ever made and the sensation is more like having an ingrown toenail bumping against something wherever the mix touches your flesh whether that be lips, nostril or tear duct.
So follow that recipe except mix in some red capsicum for some of the chilli. Remove the seeds and look after yourself instead of just relying on chilli oil to spead up your metabolism.
If you've ever wondered why thai people always look like they need a feed, yo.